Cindy Prascik's Review of Captian America: Civil War

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the highly-anticipated blockbuster Captain America: Civil War. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from trailers and the odd Internet clip. 

 

Well, dear Reader(s), I've got good news and bad news. The good news is Civil War is a pretty great movie. 

 

The bad news is it doesn't even come close to the masterpiece that preceded it, Captain America: The Winter Soldier. To justify my disappointment, I'll be making some comparisons...not, as regular reader(s) might expect of me, to that *other* costumed hero grudge match movie that came out a few weeks back, but rather to some of Cap's Marvel stablemates. 

 

There are a good many positives here, though, so let's get started with some of those. This cast is a gift. Most everyone is a fantastic talent in his or her own right, and the chemistry among them is extraordinary. Stoic and steely-eyed Chris Evans remains the perfect embodiment of our all-American hero, and is 100% effective in selling Steve Rogers' Boy Scoutish worldview. Sebastian Stan is incredible, but, while he has more screen time this outing, he unfortunately seems to have fewer opportunities to really showcase his skills. 

 

Disappointing. A longtime Stan-Fan must be forgiven for being a little over-enthusiastic about the Captain America movies, as they're pretty much the only decent movies this gifted actor ever makes. 

 

The other returning Avengers are solid as always, and newcomers Tom Holland, Daniel Bruhl, and especially Chadwick Boseman all turn in terrific performances. Those are some BIG impact moments when Black Panther and Spider-Man turn up; electricity rolls through the room like a lightning strike. Civil War includes so many Marvel favorites it's jokingly been called "Avengers 2.5," yet it never shortchanges its titular hero, a remarkable feat in its own right. 

 

Much like The Winter Soldier before it, Civil War opens the action with a massive, complicated sequence that's as much espoinage as ass-kicking, and the overall scope of things leaves some dodgy CGI quickly forgotten. There are plenty of one-liners to go around, and the story itself is engaging, if not as smart or interesting as its predecessor. On the downside, permit me to copy and paste from a hundred previous reviews: This movie is TOO. DAMN. LONG. No excuse for this thing exceeding two hours, certainly it should never run longer than 2:15. 

 

Civil War needs some serious editing, and I don't mean by taking a hacksaw to entire scenes, I mean, as always, by using an Xacto knife to trim it to a sharper, more manageable whole. Civil War gives the original Avengers a run for its money in the battle fatigue department, and much of the fight choreography isn't even all that interesting, particularly by comparison to the stellar Lumerian Star sequence in CATWS. The movie's humor also misses the mark a bit too often. 

 

Unlike Guardians of the Galaxy, which expertly rides a fine line between brilliant and so-goofy-it's-actually-brilliant, Civil War often shoehorns silliness into scenes where it fits poorly with both mood and content. 

 

The deadpan wit of Tony Stark and Sam Wilson always sets well, but Peter Parker, and, to a much lesser degree, Scott Lang, are jarringly stupid at all the wrong times. By comparison to the Winter Soldier, even Henry Jackman's score feels like it's missing something. 

 

Captain America: Civil War runs 146 minutes, and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of violence, action, and mayhem." It's not a perfect movie, but if you bring those expectations down just a smidge, Civil War is a fun, action-packed bit of brain candy. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Captain America: Civil War gets eight.

 

Until next time... 

 

 

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Huntsman: Winter’s War

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Last night I did that rarest of things for people my age, I made plans to be out on a work night. On my agenda: Marquee Cinemas' sneak-peek of The Huntsman: Winter's War.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

I enjoyed Snow White and the Huntsman, but confess I was underwhelmed by the idea of a sequel. In the four years since the original was released, I've even convinced myself it only seemed good due to being released in close proximity to the unfortunate Mirror Mirror, which did such an awful job of (re)telling the same story. However, I have good news for you, dear reader(s): This sequel does NOT suck!

 

The Huntsman gets off to a bit of a slow start, but once it gets rolling, it doesn't stop. The movie's not going to land on anyone's Academy Awards shortlist, but a good cast, nice special effects, and great fight choreography help the thin storyline earn its two-hour runtime. 

 

Chris Hemsworth is charming and easy on the eyes, and Charlize Theoron, though too little used this go-round, is the highlight of the movie as she reprises her evil queen role with wicked relish. Emily Blunt and Jessica Chastain are troopers despite seeming weirdly miscast, and supporting players Nick Frost, Rob Brydon, and Sheridan Smith are especially entertaining in smaller roles. 

 

There are some dodgy Scottish accents to work around, but the players are otherwise more than solid. A fantastic score by James Newton Howard, some very pretty sets and locations, and an ever-changing assortment of stunning evil-queen dresses all help make The Huntsman worth your movie dollar.

 

The Huntsman: Winter's War clocks in at 114 minutes and is rated PG13 for "fantasy action violence and some sensuality."

 

It's not buzzy, nor is it the sort of picture you won't be able to stop talking or thinking about, but if you're looking for an entertaining couple hours filled with action and eye candy, The Huntsman is well worth your time. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Huntsman: Winter's War gets six.

 

Until next time...

 

Cindy Prascik's Review of Criminal

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to see my main man Gary Oldman in his new movie, Criminal.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

In order to thwart a nefarious plot, an experimental procudure is used to transfer the mind of a murdered agent into a notorious criminal.

Dear Reader(s), I had genuinely high hopes for Criminal. It's been awhile (four years, to be exact) since Gary has had a critical and/or box office winner, and this one looked like it might break the chain of disappointments. Alas, it was not to be.

Right off the top, Criminal is saddled with one almost-insurmountable handicap, that is, Kevin Costner's acting abilities...or lack thereof. If he were a bit player, or in any supporting role, really, you might get around it, but not when he's the focal point of the whole picture. Sure, the lead character is meant to be a thug lacking social graces, but the way Costner grunts his way through the movie, he might as well be a gorilla...and that's probably not a very nice thing to say about the acting talent of gorillas.

The supporting cast is solid, in particular an under-used Ryan Reynolds, but it's just not enough. Gary's character does a lot of barking orders at people, a somewhat angrier and less honorable Jim Gordon. It's fine for what it is, but it hardly taxes his talent. (Though, for the record, he looks really, REALLY good!)

Criminal presents an interesting premise that fails in its execution. The writing is atrocious, with allegedly top-notch agents acting so stupidly you'll want to scream at the screen. There are a few laugh-out-loud bits prompted by Costner's character's inappropriate behavior. They're uncomfortable, but, curiously, still one of the more entertaining things about a movie that otherwise sleepwalks its way to one of the most insufferably hokey endings ever.

Criminal clocks in at 113 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence and language throughout."
In my book, Gary Oldman is reason enough to get out and see ANY movie, but, if you're looking for another reason to see Criminal, you won't find it.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Criminal gets three.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: THE BOSS

Academy Award®-nominated star Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids, The Heat, Tammy) headlines The Boss as a titan of industry who is sent to prison after she’s caught for insider trading. When she emerges ready to rebrand herself as America’s latest sweetheart, not everyone she screwed over is so quick to forgive and forget.McCarthy is joined in The Boss by an all-star cast led by Kristen Bell, Peter Dinklage and Kathy Bates. Directed by Ben Falcone (Tammy), the comedy is based on an original character created by McCarthy and written by McCarthy and Falcone alongside their Groundlings collaborator, Steve Mallory. The film is produced by McCarthy and Falcone through their On the Day productions and Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and Chris Henchy through their Gary Sanchez Productions.

Director: Ben Falcone

Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Bell, Peter Dinklage, Kristen Schaal, Kathy Bates.

Release Date: Apr 08, 2016

Rated R for Sexual content, language and brief drug use.

Runtime: 1 hr. 29 min.

Genres: Comedy

Review:

The Boss is a comedy that’s sporadically funny and consistently uneven through out.    It’s not nearly as bad as Tammy, also directed by McCarthy’s husband Ben Falcone, but it does feel like a missed opportunity.  The supporting cast is made up of an excellent collection of comedic actors like Tyler Labine, Cecily Strong and Kristen Schaal but proceeds to give them nothing to do.  Kathy Bates passes through and doesn’t really add much to the film which is a shame because it does seem like there’s a much funnier movie in there but it just never hit’s the sweet spot.  Melissa McCarthy, to her credit, is committed as always and she delivers some of the films funniest lines.  Peter Dinklage seems incredibly at home on the comedic side, I just wished his character was a bit more fleshed out.  Overall it’s a forgettable comedy that’ll probably end up on a late Saturday afternoon double header with Identity Crisis.

C

Cindy Prascik's Review of Hardcore Henry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: With this weekend's promising new releases opening nowhere near me, yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the...um...less-than-promising Hardcore Henry. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

A man awakes in a laboratory to discover he's acquired a bunch of robot parts, but lost his memory.

 

Dear Reader(s), I'ma be straight with ya: With time to spare between halves of yesterday's double-feature, I stepped out of Harcore Henry, sat in the hallway, and wrote something akin to Spinal Tap's infamous "S**t Sandwich" review. However, the well-stated enthusiasm of one of my cinema buddies caused me to give the movie some additional thought, and, with thanks to Paul at Marquee, here's a more considered opinion.

 

Hardcore Henry is quite unique. Shown entirely through Henry's eyes, the viewer sees all the wiggly-jiggly action in the first person. While that's not always a great choice for your viewing enjoyment (and thank heavens it's not in 3D!), the filmmakers get full marks for commitment and attention to detail. Every bit looks entirely authentic. 

 

Sharlto Copley is his usual brilliant self, changing personalities like I change my socks. Like Sebastian Stan, Copley is a fantastic actor who usually deserves better than the projects he or his agent chooses, but, on the plus side, even a bad movie is so much better for having him. The action sequences are very well-choreographed, and the film is also smart enough not to wear out its welcome, clocking in at a quick hour and a half.

 

Now, the bad news: the violence and portrayal of women in Hardcore Henry are straight out of a teenage boy's dream. Even I--Number-One Expendables Fan--have to admit that the pointless chaos wears thin pretty quickly. The picture’s clearly more interested in grabbing your attention with something weird or shocking than keeping it with a well-thought-out story; the plot is riddled with holes and bizarre moments that make no sense...even in the context of something that makes so little sense overall. 

 

Minus anything more substantial underlying it, the incessant brutality is a lot to take, and the non-stop action can't save the movie from being a bit of a bore. 

 

Hardcore Henry runs 96 minutes and is rated R for "non-stop bloody brutal violence and mayhem, language throughout, sexual content/nudity, and drug use." 

 

Harcore Henry certainly isn't everyone's cup of tea, but, if you're looking for something well and truly different at the movies, it might just be for you. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hardcore Henry gets three.

 

Until next time...

 

Cindy Prascik's Review of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Dearest Blog: With Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice opening worldwide this weekend, it's a fair bet I'll be spending most of my holiday break at Marquee Cinemas. 

 

As goes the Bat, so go I. Probably the biggest spoiler here is that I loved this movie, otherwise nothing you wouldn't know from the many trailers and clips making the rounds. 

 

As the world wrestles with the pros and cons of Superman's protection versus his unchecked power, Gotham's most famous resident weighs in. 

 

 Dear Reader(s), if you have access to a computer or a tablet or a smartphone or a TV, you've probably already heard somebody say something bad about Dawn of Justice. I am here to tell you why the naysayers are wrong, and, though it may surprise you, I have more (if not better) reasons than: "Batman. Duh." Batman v Superman is an epic tale, crafted by a fan for fans. 

 

This picture is setting the table for what's to come, and, as such, it's got a lot of balls in the air, and plenty of appearances that earned applause from the crowd each of the three times I've seen the movie so far. Ben Affleck is not only a great Batman/Bruce Wayne, he is ideal for where the DC cinematic universe now finds itself. 

 

He's older and more jaded, but no less strong or purposeful (some might say pig-headed!). I was a little stunned by the vitriol directed at Affleck's casting--the guy's always seemed a bit benign to inspire such passion--but I confess, seeing him in the Batsuit gave me a mad crush that went from zero to Renner in exactly two hours and 31 minutes. 

 

Most of the supporting cast is equally terrific, with Jesse Eisenberg unsurprisingly the standout as super-villain Lex Luthor. Gal Gadot makes a fantastic Wonder Woman, and from the young men's reactions at Thursday night's sneak-peek...well...let's just say I'm glad I don't have to clean that theatre. Jeremy Irons, Amy Adams, Diane Lane, and Laurence Fishburne all contribute more than their fair share towards elevating the movie from good to great. Batman v Superman boasts sweet fight choreography, nice effects, some intense battles between good and good as well as good and evil, and a fair few chuckles, too. 

 

Dawn of Justice does have some flaws, and, lest I be accused of too much fangirling, it's only fair I mention those. Like so many movies these days, this one could have used a trim. Coming in at two hours or even two-fifteen wouldn't have cost the picture any massive cuts, just an edit here and there on those lengthy battles, chases, and flashbacks/dream sequences. 

 

The titular faceoff, in particular, though any fanboy's dream, strays a bit into overkill. Holly Hunter is a great actress, but listening to her speak is like nails on a blackboard; by her third line I'd have given anything to have ANY other actress in her role (except maybe Carey Mulligan, because we all know how I feel about that one). 

 

And then there's Henry Cavill, bless his perfect, perfect self. Cavill attempting to cob together memorized dialogue with the appropriate facial expression is nearly as difficult to watch as Charlie Hunnam desperately trying to cling to an accent for more than five minutes. 

 

I adore Cavill, and I think he's about as perfect a Superman as a person could want, but his acting chops could use some work. Truly, those are the only problems I had with Batman v. Superman. My bottom line on Dawn of Justice is this: Many people were determined to hate this movie before they ever saw it; that is the unfortunate reality of the Internet age. 

 

Many people are determined to compare the movie to Marvel in general, and to the upcoming Captain America movie in particular, but DC is DC; it is not trying to be Marvel (nor should it), and I'd rather enjoy each for what it is than pick either apart for what it isn't. 

 

At last check, there was about a fifty-percentage-point difference between critics' and fans' ratings of Batman v Superman over at Rotten Tomatoes, so I guess, you, dear Reader(s), can let somebody else tell you what to think about this movie, or you can go and see for yourself. If you go with an open mind, I think you'll enjoy what you see. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice clocks in at a whopping 151 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of violence and action throughout, and some sensuality." 

 

While it's not *quite* as magnificent as The Dark Knight or Watchmen (each of which holds a spot in my top ten movies of all time), Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice is an entertaining epic and a perfect launchpad for DC's next phase. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice gets eight and a half. 

 

Oh, and, for the record, I've got a milestone birthday coming up this year, so somebody be a dear and get me Affleck in that Batsuit, won't you? 

 

Please and thank you. 

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

Batman (Ben Affleck) and Superman (Henry Cavill) share the screen in this Warner Bros./DC Entertainment co-production penned by David S. Goyer and Chris Terrio, and directed by Zack Snyder. Amy Adams and Diane Lane return as Lois Lane and Martha Kent, respectively. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Zack Snyder

Cast: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Gal Gadot, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne

Release Date: Mar 25, 2016 

Rated: Rated pg-13 Intense sequences of violence and action throughout, and some sensuality.

Runtime: 2 hr. 31 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a movie that’s got a lot going on both on screen and behind it.  Setting up an expanded DC movieverse along with being accessible to the general public and pleasing fans is an incredibly tricky thing to accomplish.  Needless to say, this film is an undertaking in every sense of the word and according to the professional critics it fails.  I went in expecting the worst and left scratching my head.  Not because the movie was awful, I was preparing for Sucker Punch level of Snyder bombast, but because I really don’t understand where most of the critics are coming from.    It’s a massive sprawling story appropriate for the icons on hand.  It isn’t perfect but it’s an impressive film that’s got some heft to it.  Since Snyder is a comic book fan so some of the fan service, particularly the dream sequences, will leave the uninitiated a tad lost.  It’s far from overkill but I can see how the complaint would be lodged against the story’s structure since some of the sequences feel abrupt.  As for the story itself, it feels like a traditional comic book narrative with nefarious plans at work to get our heroes to the titular battle.  There’s not a ton of surprises since the big turns are telegraphed in a fairly obvious manner along with all the oversharing via the prerelease trailers spoiling some of better reveals.  The cast does make the entire thing enjoyable even if the lofty themes can be a bit overbearing at times.  Henry Cavill seems far more comfortable in his role this time around.  Cavill gives the character some much need layers even though there is only so much room to maneuver given the characters traits.  Ben Affleck though has much more room to deliver a much more vicious, exacting and world weary Batman.  I had my doubts about Affleck when he was cast but he delivers the goods.  The biggest question mark, for me at least, was Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor.  On the surface his Luthor feels different that past iterations, especially on film, but once you get past all the ticks and speed talking, you’re left with an amalgam of the comic versions of Lex Luthor, the businessman and mad scientist. Jeremy Irons and Holly Hunter both have interesting supporting roles with each begging for more screen time, Irons in particular.  Gal Gadot leaves the biggest impression in her supporting role as Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman.  Gadot fits the role much better than expected and plays the character with a perfect mix of mystery, strength and confidence.  It’s impressive enough that it’ll leave you anticipating the solo Wonder Woman film even more.  Aside, some of the quibbles mentioned previously, there is a sense that the story needs some wrangling in.  A good 20 to 30 minutes could have been trimmed to make it a sleeker more effective film.  Its lack of focus is felt most in the final act where the film has built a massive head of steam leading to a massive showdown only to be bogged down by other secondary story threads.  It’s not fatal but noticeable.  As is, I find it hard to believe that comic fans especially DC fans wouldn’t find a lot to like here.  Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice doesn’t quite hit it out of the park but its pretty damn close.  

B

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of The Bronze & Allegiant

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for another ho-hum late-winter double-bill. On the docket: gymnastics comedy The Bronze, and the third installment in the Divergent series, Allegiant. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you won't have learnt already from trailers and the usual Internet scuttlebutt. 

 

First up: The Bronze. A former Olympic sweetheart is coerced into coaching another hopeful from her small Ohio town. Dear Reader(s), many of you are well aware that being a Sebastian Stan fan is a hard row to hoe. My first encounter with Stan was his stellar turn in the brilliant-but-short-lived TV series Kings. 

 

Unfortunately, outside a lucky spot at Captain America's side, his projects surrounding that one bright, shining moment have been complete crap, and I can declare with authority that The Bronze ranks among the worst. And when a guy's resume includes The Covenant...well...that's really saying something! 

 

The Bronze is a mean, crass little comedy, and its occasional shots at sincere moments are unfailingly trite. Melissa Rauch is foul and unsympathetic in the lead, fronting a crew of just-slightly-less-despicable supporting characters, including Gary Cole as her long-suffering father and Stan as a rival coach; only Thomas Middletech's Ben is half-likable. The movie follows the same predictable path as a thousand bitter redemption stories before it, sans that bit where a viewer might actually be rooting for a character...ANY character. 

 

The much-ballyhooed acrobatic sex scene between Rauch and Stan (she used a stunt double; he did not) is so deeply unfunny that I was embarrassed for everyone involved. Pretty much the only genuine thing about this dud is the cute little town of Amherst, Ohio, which portrays itself in the movie and undoubtedly deserves better. The Bronze runs 108 excruciating minutes and is rated R for "strong sexual content, graphic nudity, language throughout, and some drug use." Avoid this at all costs. I mean it. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Bronze gets one, for the single time I laughed over the course of its painful duration. 

 

Next on my agenda: Allegiant. Tris and Four find out what's on the other side of the wall. Dear Reader(s), there's no sugar-coating it: Sitting through Allegiant is like watching paint dry, and that might be slightly underselling the entertainment value of watching paint dry. Though stakes are high for our heroes, the movie has zero tension, and there's even less chemistry between Shailene Woodly and Theo James. Allegiant's special effects are about as shabby as an old episode of Doctor Who. 

 

The dialogue is painful, and the characters are one-dimensional and uninteresting. There are a few cheap laughs courtesy of Peter (Miles Teller), and a two-hour eyeful of James is never a bad thing, but Allegiant otherwise has little to recommend it. Allegiant clocks in at 121 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense violence and action, thematic elements, and some partial nudity." It is, perhaps, the natural bane of the first half of a story split in two that it advances the plot without much excitement, but unless you're utterly invested in the whole of the Divergent series, Allegiant is hardly worth your time. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Allegiant gets three. 

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

A young woman (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is forced to cope with her new life after waking up from a nearly fatal accident in this thriller from director Dan Trachtenberg. After narrowly avoiding serious injuries in a car wreck, Michelle (Winstead) awakens in the care of a man who claims to have found her at the scene, and who brought her to his home after a catastrophic chemical attack devastated the surrounding area. John Goodman and John Gallagher Jr. co-star. ~ Tom Ciampoli, Rovi

Director: Dan Trachtenberg

Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, John Gallagher, Jr., Cindy Hogan, Douglas M. Griffin

Release Date: Mar 11, 2016

Rated PG-13 for some Violence, Frightening Sequences, Brief Language, Thematic Material and 

Threat

Runtime: 1 hr. 45 min.

Genres: Drama, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

10 Cloverfield Lane is an impressively taut thriller that probably would have been better off leaving the Cloverfield connections off.  That’s not to say it’s a terrible connection to make, it also hasn’t hurt its box office, but it’s subtle at best and it could prove slightly distracting to some.  On its own, 10 Cloverfield Lane brings back memories of some of the better Twilight Zone or Outer Limits episodes.  The small cast benefits the film since each of them delivers strong performances.  Mary Elizabeth Winstead spearheads the film as a combination of Ramona Flowers and Macgyver.  Her character is probably one of the most adaptable and resourceful female leads in recent sci-fi history.  John Goodman is just as impressive as the is he /isn’t he nutty guy.  Goodman has an excellent talent of going from nice guy to nuts in the blink of an eye with little effort.  It makes for a wonderfully tense film which builds to a crescendo displaying a talented hand behind the camera.  The final act is sure to be divisive since it opens up the claustrophobic atmosphere giving us a totally different feel to the film.  Personally, I rather enjoyed it throughout as an effective sci-fi yarn.

B

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Gods of Egypt & London Has Fallen

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the laughable double-bill of Gods of Egypt and London Has Fallen, or, as I like to call it, The Unintentional Gerard Butler Film Festival. 

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know or have guessed from the trailers. First on my agenda, Gods of Egypt. Exiled god Horus reluctantly teams with a mortal to reclaim his crown and save Egypt. 

 

Dear Reader(s), I'ma be straight with ya: if I could just post that little emoji that's laughing so hard it’s crying, that'd the most accurate review of Gods of Egypt you'd find anywhere. Since I call myself a movie blogger, though, I'd better try a bit harder. Much has been made of Egypt's casting white faces in roles clearly meant for people of color. But wait...the ridiculousness hardly ends there! This picture boasts some of the most laughably bad dialogue I've ever heard. 

 

EVER. The costumes range from elementary-school pageant to pole dancer. (One thing gods and mortals apparently have in common: a great rack!) While the movie has some nifty effects, it's also got some of the worst green-screen work you'll ever see outside an episode of Once Upon a Time. There's a veritable grab-bag of accents, and that's not even accounting for anyone besides Gerard Butler! In fact, the acting is across-the-board so hilariously terrible that even the mighty trio of Rufus Sewell, Geoffrey Rush, and Chadwick Boseman can't combine for one decent performance. Now, having said all that...I found Gods of Egypt to be a great laugh. It's so bad that I can't believe it's anything other than willfully so, a B-movie that somehow scored itself an A-list budget. 

 

Oh, and, for the record, the movie was written by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless, whose previous credits include Dracula Untold and The Last Witch Hunter, so...yeah...if you're wanting your picture to be taken seriously, maybe don't hire those two, m-kay? Gods of Egypt clocks in at an excessive 127 minutes and is rated PG13 for "fantasy violence and action, and some sexuality." 

 

If you're looking for a good laugh at Hollywood's expense, it doesn't get funnier than this. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, 

 

Gods of Egypt gets four. 

 

Next on the docket, the sequel London Has Fallen. When the American President (Aaron Eckhart) again finds himself in peril, it's Secret Service agent Mike Bannon (Gerard Butler) to the rescue. London Has Fallen is essentially just an excuse to combine massive chaos and destruction with a healthy dose of "'Murica!" 

 

The plot is paper thin, as world leaders pay the price for civilian casualties of an earlier strike against terrorism. You don't need to guess which world leader gets out alive, thanks to his ballsy protective detail, who also happens to be devastatingly handsome and quite the comic to boot...oh, Hollywood! Though a sequel to 2013's Olympus Has Fallen probably wasn't strictly necessary, this second installment doesn't overstay its welcome, and it's a decently good time if you enjoy a couple hours of watching stuff blow up around a pair of pretty good-looking guys. 

 

Some great talent--Morgan Freeman, Jackie Earle Haley, Melissa Leo--is wasted here, turning up for basically a cup of coffee and a paycheck, but the movie's certainly no worse for having names like that among its cast. 

 

As cinema escapism goes, you could do a lot worse (although the guy behind me who snored loudly for the duration might say different). London Has Fallen runs a quick 99 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence and language throughout." 

 

While you won't need to remember its name long-term for this year's awards season, in the short term, London Has Fallen provides a healthy dose of brain candy. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, London Has Fallen gets five. 

 

Until next time... 

 

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Eddie the Eagle & Triple 9

 

 

 

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the promising double-bill of Eddie the Eagle and Triple 9. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. First up: Eddie the Eagle. An unlikely prospect dreams of Olympic glory. 

 

I cannot and shall not mince words here: I absolutely adored Eddie the Eagle. It exceeded all my expectations, and marks the second consecutive February that Taron Edgerton stakes an early claim on my year-end top ten. Eddie the Eagle keeps its tone light. A road like this always has more than its share of potholes, but these filmmakers are more interested in presenting a hopeful, inspiring piece than than in putting forth the full truth. 

 

The movie is also a textbook example of that old saying, "A happy ending depends on where you stop your story." (The film's namesake, Eddie Edwards, attempted to participate in three Olympics subsequent to the Calgary Games, and failed to qualify all three times.) Edgerton is phenomenal in the lead, equally convincing as this tenacious outsider as he was portraying Kingsman's streetwise thug turned debonair secret agent. 

 

As Eddie's reluctant mentor, Hugh Jackman owns every minute of his screen time, providing some of the movie's best laughs as well as its most sincere, intelligent moments. 

 

There's some lovely Bavarian scenery on display, and a fair bit of nostalgia for those who fondly remember the 1988 Olympic Games. The movie is smartly paced, fully self-aware, and can't help but speak to anyone who's ever been unfairly disregarded or marginalized. 

 

Eddie the Eagle clocks in at 105 minutes and is rated PG13 for "Some suggestive material, partial nudity, and smoking." 

 

Superficial it may be, but Eddie the Eagle is a thoroughly delightful cinema experience. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Eddie the Eagle gets eight. 

 

Next on the docket: Triple 9. The Russian mob coerces a ruthless gang into attempting a nearly-impossible heist. 

 

Well, dear reader(s), if your current cinema mood is somewhat less cheerful, the weekend schedule also offers the gritty Triple 9, a crime thriller so intense I'm pretty sure I didn't breathe for the first 15 minutes. 

 

Triple 9 boasts an impressive cast, with uniformly solid performances from Chiwetel Ejiofor, Woody Harrelson, Anthony Mackie, Clifton Collins, Jr., Aaron Paul, and Norman Reedus, and brilliant, nearly unrecongizable turns by Michael Kenneth Williams and Kate Winslet. 

 

Despite showing its hand early, the movie is gripping from the first second to the last. It's a brutal picture, backed by a tense, masterful score, and I was equal parts fascinated and appalled. Triple 9 runs 115 minutes, and is rated R for "strong violence and language throughout, drug use, and some nudity." 

 

Triple 9 won't be everyone's cup of tea, but if you're not put off by the dark side of life, you can't help but fall for this exciting-but-grim tale. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Triple 9 gets seven and a half. 

 

Until next time... 

 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: THE WITCH

A devout Puritan family in 1630s New England are exiled from their village, and struggle to survive in their new home situated at the edge of a mysterious forest. The sinister, witching forces in the wilderness emerge silently to terrorize them, first by kidnapping the youngest of their five children. As their life-sustaining crops fail, the clan fall victim to paranoia and fear as they begin to turn on one another, eventually suspecting teenage daughter Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy) of witchcraft. With the vast majority of the dialogue culled from primary sources from the time period, Robert Eggers' debut feature The Witch is a terrifying glimpse into a family descending into madness. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi

Director: Robert Eggers

Release Date: Feb 19, 2016

Rated R For disturbing violent content and graphic nudity.

Runtime: 1 hr. 30 min.

Genres: Horror

Cast: Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Julian Richings, Vivienne Moore

Review:

The Witch is a impressive moody period horror film that is expertly crafted from the top down.  Robert Eggers’ debut film is meticulously crafted exercise in subtly.  Eggers builds and maintains tension throughout the film by using the solitary setting for a maximum effect.  The film owes a cinematic debt Kubrick’s The Shining by playing up a lot of similar themes even though the build up more tempered and methodical.  Eggers is blessed with a fully committed cast who deliver excellent performances all around with Anya Tayor-Joy leaving a lasting impression.  Taylor-Joy, who looks like the world saddest Hummel figurine, conveys so much through her face and eyes, it’s a terribly impressive performance for such a young actress.  The Witch is the type of high quality horror film that that rarely comes around in a genre which is usually littered with garbage.

A  

Cindy Prascik's Review of Race

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog, today it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the first of February's sports biopics, Race. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or from Googling Jesse Owens. 

 

Race is the story of legendary track and field star Owens, from his early days at Ohio State University through the controversial 1936 Olympic Games. There's no denying Race is little more than your run-of-the-mill Inspiring Sports Movie, but still-timely issues, nail-biting sports action, and some nice performances make it worth a look. Stephan James is a delight as Owens, earnest and sympathetic. 

 

The film boasts strong supporting turns by Jason Sudeikis, Shanice Banton, William Hurt, and David Kross. Characterizations are pretty broad--the city of Berlin even has its own super-villian-sounding musical cue--but if the storytelling is a bit hokey, it's easy enough to forgive in such a compelling tale. Race runs just a tad overlong and is by no means comfortable viewing. The issues it raises are too near for that, evidence the ugliness in my Facebook newsfeed during the Grammys, or the casual way acquaintances assume it's okay to drop racist comments around me because we both happen to be white. 

 

Race is a long overdue "thank you" to Jesse Owens for his courage, but also hopefully one small step towards a day when bigotry really is a thing of the past. Race clocks in at 134 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic elements and language." It's not the best sports movie you'll ever see--it might not even be the best sports movie you'll see this month--but Race has a story worth telling and a message worth hearing. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Race gets six and a half. 

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: DEADPOOL

In this irreverent spin on the superhero genre, mercenary Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) agrees to participate in a top-secret experiment after learning that he has terminal cancer. When the procedure leaves him with advanced healing powers and a disfigured face, he reinvents himself as a wisecracking, spandex-clad antihero known as Deadpool, and seeks revenge on those responsible. Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T.J. Miller, and Gina Carano co-star. Directed by Tim Miller. ~ Jack Rodgers, Rovi

Director: Tim Miller

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T.J. Miller, Gina Carano

Release Date: Feb 12, 2016

Rated R for language Throughout, Graphic Nudity, Sexual Content and Strong Violence

Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

Deadpool is a fun send up of the superhero genre, one that Ryan Reynolds has been talking about since 2002.  Its story is a pretty basic origin story which would been fairly forgettable if it’d played it straight but since Deadpool is a comic book character who knows he’s a comic book character, it rarely does so.  The first half of the film is the strongest with a hefty serving of super hero jokes and 4^th wall breaking madness.  Ryan Reynolds is totally in his element as the wisecracking merc.  His comedic timing is tailormade for the character, which is probably why he’s been such a huge fan.  The film works best when it’s poking fun at the genre, Reynolds and Huge Jackman.  It’s got an anarchic spirit when it’s rolling along at brisk pace.  First time director keeps the film moving at a steady pace with the main potholes occurring when the film has to take care of the rudimentary parts of the superhero plot particularly defeating the baddie and saving the girl.  Still, it’s different enough to give the genre a nice pinch of variety to keep the genre fresh.

B+

MOVIE REVIEW: ZOOLANDER 2

Past-their-prime male models Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) are recruited by Interpol to investigate a conspiracy after a number of beautiful celebrities are assassinated while posing with Zoolander's signature "Blue Steel" look. Their probe uncovers an ingenious plot by fashion mogul Mugatu (Will Ferrell) to locate and harness the source of the legendary Fountain of Youth. Directed by Ben Stiller. Olivia Munn, Kristen Wiig, and Penélope Cruz co-star. ~ Tom Ciampoli, Rovi

Director: Justin Theroux, Ben Stiller

Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penélope Cruz, Christine Taylor

Release Date: Feb 12, 2016

Rated R for crude and sexual content, a scene of exaggerated violence, and brief strong language.

Runtime: 1 hr. 42 min.

Genres: Comedy

Review:

Zoolander 2 isn’t nearly as terrible as some of the reviews suggest but it’s not nearly good enough to warrant its existence.  Once the nostalgia of seeing Zoolander and Hansel passes, we’re left with a fairly routine comedy that’s never quite as funny as the original.  Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson slip back into their roles easily and they do have some funny bits but its never consistent overall.  There are plenty of dead spots along the way with the film perking up substantially once Will Ferrell’s Mugatu reemerges.   Penélope Cruz is game as the biggest new addition to the cast but it leaves you asking why the film isn’t funnier with all the talent assembled. 

C+

Cindy Prascik's Review of Deadpool

Dearest Blog: Yesterday I took my Valentine (me!) to Marquee Cinemas for the first of 2016's bucket of superhero offerings, Deadpool. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. 

 

After being diagnosed with terminal cancer, a mercenary undergoes a series of experiments that leaves him with some unique powers. 

 

Ryan Reynolds has long been ridiculed as box-office poison, fronting flop after flop, but I've always said he's great, he just needed the right vehicle. 

 

In Deadpool, he's finally found the right vehicle. Deadpool is all about the attitude. Frequently breaking the fourth wall to address the audience directly, he's snarky, rude, and foul. 

 

The movie contains some nudity, a boatload of in-jokes, maximum carnage, and pretty much nothing but bad language, so it's definitely not for the kiddies; however, the incessant puerile humor may wear thin with many adults, too. 

 

Certainly not *this* adult (#driveby!), but...well...some folks may find it a bit much. Deadpool takes its time with a solid story, spelled by well-crafted action and fight sequences, and, though it's Reynolds' movie to carry, he's lucky to be backed by a great supporting cast, particularly the hilarious TJ Miller. 

 

Neither as light as most other Marvel product, nor dark in the same way as DC, Deadpool may be exactly the superhero movie die-hards have been waiting for. 

Deadpool clocks in at 108 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence and language throughout, sexual content and graphic nudity." 

Deadpool's explicit content will take it off the table for some viewers, but, if you're not among the easily offended, you can't go wrong with this funny and thrilling costumed-hero outing. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Deadpool gets eight. 

 

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies & Hail, Caesar!

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for unlikely bedfellows Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Hail, Caesar! 

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing important that you won't have gotten from a couple of pretty awesome trailers. First on the docket: Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. A bit of classic literature gets the Walking Dead treatment. 

 

Oh, Jack Huston, the things I do for you. Nevermind the things I *would* do for you...the things I *do* do for you. Zombies are kind-of the "it" monster these days, but, being more of a vampire girl myself--and not having gone anywhere near Jane Austen since a forced high-school acquaintance--I might have taken a pass on PPZ if not for the presence of the talented and dashing Mr. Huston. 

 

Not surprisingly, though, it was a far less annoying experience than that Nicholas Sparks disaster I was forced to watch last year. Getting the obvious out of the way first: If you look at the name "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies" and think "That's stupid!" well...this isn't the movie for you. 

 

Like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, the concept's chief appeal is in its utter ridiculousness. PPZ isn't quite as tongue-in-cheek as one might expect, but it's still good fun. Highlights include a strong leading turn by Lily James, a solid array of impressive female heroes, nice costumes, good fight choreography, and some sweet zombie effects. 

 

Like World War Z, these undead don't just shuffle along; if you're running, odds are they can catch you. Of all the non-traditional aspects of PPZ, that one is, perhaps, the most disquieting! On the downside, it takes a full 39 minutes for Jack Huston to appear onscreen. (Did I clock it? Yes, I did.) Sam Riley is so miserable looking throughout I feel sure he'll be tapped to play Athos in some future version of The Three Musketeers. 

 

The movie's not overlong, but it does feel slow at times; a little trim might have served it well. Pride & Prejudice & Zombies clocks in at 108 minutes and is rated PG13 for "zombie violence and action and brief suggestive material." 

 

A definitive answer to Hollywood's female problem, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies is a good time that's well worth a look. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, PPZ gets seven. 

 

Next on my agenda: Hail, Caesar! In 1950s Hollywood, a studio "fixer" has his hands full when a marquee name goes missing. 

 

My smarter, funnier cousin once said that the Coen brothers' idea of a comedy is about the same as Iron Tail's idea of coloring Easter eggs. (If you're young, look it up.) I don't find that as true here as it sometimes is, but their humor is an acquired taste; if you don't love Hail, Caesar!, you'll probably hate it. 

 

Though the movie's been touted as a love letter to Hollywood's Golden Age, if we're being honest, it's more of a hate letter, spotlighting everything hilariously stupid about the big studio experience of the 50s. Josh Brolin is fantastic in the lead and, even after all these years, it does my tiny heart good to see his name atop such a list of Hollywood A-Listers. 

 

George Clooney's buffoonish superstar is a laugh every time he's onscreen. Channing Tatum continues to surprise as a real asset to seemingly every movie that'll have him. (And does he have the MOVES!) 

 

I wouldn't be me if I didn't name check a couple of my favorites who turn up in roles so small the characters don't even have names: Fisher Stevens and Patrick Fischler. 

 

Great to see ya, guys! Hail, Caesar! features a solid mystery that ties together the various movies within the movie. The film is consistently funny, with some laugh-out-loud moments, and boasts top-notch performances from a bunch of top-notch names, as well as charming choreography from the master, Tony winner Christopher Gattelli. 

 

There's also a small cameo by Mr. Jack Huston, which allows me to deem yesterday a "Jack Huston Film Festival." Day = Made! Hail, Caesar! runs 106 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some suggestive content and smoking." 

 

The finished product falls a little short of its stellar trailer's promise, but Hail, Caesar! is a fun, clever picture that should please most moviegoers. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hail, Caesar! gets seven. 

 

Hope everyone enjoys their Super Bowl Sunday. Until next time...........yay, football!! 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: HAIL, CAESAR!

Slick Hollywood fixer Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) is pressed into action when superstar actor Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) is kidnapped and held for ransom by a mysterious group. Mannix races to quietly collect the ransom money without gossip columnists Thessaly and Thora Thacker (Tilda Swinton in a dual role) catching wind of the scandal. Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Scarlett Johansson, Jonah Hill, Frances McDormand, and Channing Tatum co-star in this comedy set in Hollywood's golden age. Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi

Director: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen

Cast: George Clooney, Josh Brolin, Ralph Fiennes, Tilda Swinton, Jonah Hill

Release Date: Feb 05, 2016

Rated PG-13 Some suggestive content and smoking.

Runtime: 1 hr. 40 min.

Genres: Comedy, Drama, Music/Performing Arts

Review:

Hail, Caesar is the Coen’s brother loving tribute to old Hollywood with a healthy dose of laughter.  Its plot is almost an afterthought since the Coen’s seem more concerned with recreating some of the golden eras favorite genres.  It’s an enjoyable trek with enough laughs to keep you entertained for the better part of its runtime.  Josh Brolin is fine as the studio fixer who’s just trying to keep all the proverbial plates spinning.  He mostly serves as your guide through the fictional studio so we have an excuse to wander through some wonderfully choreographed sequences like Scarlett Johansson water based musical or Channing Tatum’s fun Gene Kellyesque sailor sequence.  Alden Ehrenreich does impressive work as the cowboy star turned dramatic actor, it helps that he shares a fantastic little sequence with an underused Ralph Fiennes.  It’s all light wacky fun which is going to leave you smiling even if the film would have been better if it’d been just a tad more focused.

B+

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Finest Hours

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the action-thriller The Finest Hours. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from that lone trailer you've been seeing every week since last May. 

 

When a T2 oil tanker splits in half during a brutal Nor'easter, it's up to a small, brave Coast Guard crew to mount an unlikely rescue. Ahhh...the bleak midwinter...that No Man's Land between the awards hopefuls tuckering themselves out and the Lenten glut of Bible stories, where Hollywood dumps all the movies it's given up on or has no idea what to do with. These are movies with no ulterior motive. 

 

They don't expect to win anything, and they certainly don't expect to save your soul; they just want to entertain you. These movies are my friends. The Finest Hours is an old-school adventure, perhaps too old-school for today's audiences. 

 

The heroes are traditional, Ken-doll types, the elements big and threatening, the romance sweet and chaste. There's not much chemistry between Chris Pine and the always-delightful Holliday Grainger, but both are likeable enough to get by. The movie's real star (outside of some nice water and disaster effects) is Casey Affleck, as the de facto captain of the disabled tanker. Ben Foster, perpetually one great performance away from knocking Russell Crowe out of my Holy Trinity, is fantastic in a smaller role, and West Virginia boy Josh Stewart is great as well, though also with not too much to do. 

 

The rescue itself is hold-your-breath tense, and plays out so Hollywood-perfect that I'd call it hokey if not for the fact they've stuck pretty close to true events. Though it may be an unremarkable picture in the grand scheme of things, The Finest Hours a perfectly enjoyable afternoon at the movies for anyone who isn't expecting an Oscar coulda-shoulda-woulda. 

 

The Finest Hours clocks in at 117 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of peril." It may not win any awards, but The Finest Hours kept me well and propertly entertained for the duration. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Finest Hours gets seven. 

 

Until next time...