Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Heart of Stone & Red, White & Royal Blue

My dear reader(s), my movie diet this past weekend was cheesier than an extra-large Wisconsin six-cheese pie from Domino's, but unfortunately not all of it was quite so delicious.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers, aside from one non-plot-specific quote that earned itself a little spotlight.

First on my weekend agenda, Heart of Stone, starring Gal Gadot as a member of a shadowy agency charged with keeping a powerful weapon out of hackers' hands.

Boasting the wonderful Gadot and a likeable, familiar collection of supporting players, Heart of Stone had the potential to be the kind of dumb fun that passes a great summer afternoon. Unfortunately, the plot is lazy and predictable, the action is by the numbers, and much of the dialogue is so bad I was embarrassed for all involved. Top it with an overwrought score and excessive runtime, and, well, it's just a terrible waste of a solid cast and a good (if oft-used) premise.

Heart of Stone clocks in at 122 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of violence and action and some language."

Heart of Stone attempts to build a franchise atop an impossibly weak foundation. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Heart of Stone gets two.

Heart of Stone is now streaming on Netflix.

Next on my weekend agenda, the romcom Red, White & Royal Blue, a tale of forbidden romance between an English prince and the US President's son.

Me? Watching a romcom? Ye gods.

Red, White & Royal Blue is a sweet, funny tale that is no worse for being exactly what you expect at nearly every turn. Any romance rises and falls on its principals, and this one shines mainly due to the exceptional appeal and chemistry of its central couple, portrayed by Nicholas Galitzine and Taylor Zakhar Perez. 

They are a delight! The movie is often laugh-out-loud funny, with the bulk of the credit there going to Sarah Shahi as the President's harried Deputy Chief of Staff, and special mention to Uma Thurman, who had me on the floor with the President's "Mom" speech. There's no denying Red, White & Royal Blue is a bit Hallmarkey in its execution. The acting is a little rough at times, and some of the music placement feels awkward, but those are petty quibbles with a movie that left me with a smile that hasn't faded a day later. 

Finally, and maybe most importantly, "He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football" has to be in the running for movie quote of the year. I don't make the rules.

Red, White & Royal Blue runs 118 minutes and is rated R for "some sexual content, partial nudity, and language."

Red, White & Royal Blue is a predictable romantic comedy elevated by a charming cast and some hilarious dialogue. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Red, White & Royal Blue gets eight. (I'll be watching it again today.)

Fangirl points: Clifton Collins, Jr.!!

Red, White & Royal Blue is now streaming on Amazon Prime Video.

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Mortal Engines and The Mule

Dearest Blog: On Friday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Mortal Engines and the Mule.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up: Mortal Engines.

In a dystopian future where "predator" cities devour lesser cities whole, a young lady seeks revenge for her mother's death.

Well, you guys, I'd call this Divergent Hunger Maze thingy a disappointment, but for that to be the case I'd have had to expect something, and, truly, I did not.

Beginning with a couple small positives: Anything that is meant to be terrifyingly, impressively huge in Mortal Engines is just that. Even in 2D, the predator cities appear ready to roll right off the screen to crush the assembled...erm...half-dozen paying customers. There's also the matter of Robert Sheehan, who, for the record, is entirely to blame for my seeing this instead of the Spider-Man cartoon. A cookie-cutter role doesn't give him much to work with, but he is the most interesting thing about the movie, as he generally is in any project fortunate enough to have him. Sadly, the good news ends there. In the unlikely event this film could have overcome it's wooden, unlikable lead, Hera Hilmar, there's dodgy green screen, painful dialogue, and some weirdly out-of-synch ADR to make absolutely certain it falls on its face. The thing runs over two hours (Hollywood, please explain yourself!) and consists mostly of pointless running around and Hilmar scowling at things. If Lord of the Rings fans were hoping for something to indicate Peter Jackson was back on the right track, I guess we'll just have to keep hoping.

Mortal Engines clocks in at a bloated 128 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of futuristic violence and action."

If you want to watch something from the people who made Lord of the Rings, well, maybe just stay home and watch Lord of the Rings again. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Moral Engines gets two.

Next on my agenda: The Mule.

When an elderly horticulturist falls on hard times, he accepts a job "driving" for a drug cartel.
Unlike Mortal Engines, I *did* have some expectations for The Mule, and, sadly, it failed to meet even the barest minimum. What trailers sold as genuine awards fodder instead turned out to be a couple hours of aiming for the lowest common denominator. Clint Eastwood stars as an Archie Bunker caricature whose cluelessness and bigotry are played for laughs at every available turn.

Pedestrian storytelling holds no surprises, and performances from a pretty noteworthy cast are anything but noteworthy; however, most unforgivable is the film's criminal waste of the brilliant Clifton Collins, Jr. I'd considered The Mule to be the weekend's "must see," but I think Spidey would have been the better call here.

The Mule runs 116 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout and brief sexuality/nudity."

Nestled deep in the heart of awards season, The Mule can only be considered a bitter disappointment.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Mule gets four.

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Eddie the Eagle & Triple 9

 

 

 

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the promising double-bill of Eddie the Eagle and Triple 9. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. First up: Eddie the Eagle. An unlikely prospect dreams of Olympic glory. 

 

I cannot and shall not mince words here: I absolutely adored Eddie the Eagle. It exceeded all my expectations, and marks the second consecutive February that Taron Edgerton stakes an early claim on my year-end top ten. Eddie the Eagle keeps its tone light. A road like this always has more than its share of potholes, but these filmmakers are more interested in presenting a hopeful, inspiring piece than than in putting forth the full truth. 

 

The movie is also a textbook example of that old saying, "A happy ending depends on where you stop your story." (The film's namesake, Eddie Edwards, attempted to participate in three Olympics subsequent to the Calgary Games, and failed to qualify all three times.) Edgerton is phenomenal in the lead, equally convincing as this tenacious outsider as he was portraying Kingsman's streetwise thug turned debonair secret agent. 

 

As Eddie's reluctant mentor, Hugh Jackman owns every minute of his screen time, providing some of the movie's best laughs as well as its most sincere, intelligent moments. 

 

There's some lovely Bavarian scenery on display, and a fair bit of nostalgia for those who fondly remember the 1988 Olympic Games. The movie is smartly paced, fully self-aware, and can't help but speak to anyone who's ever been unfairly disregarded or marginalized. 

 

Eddie the Eagle clocks in at 105 minutes and is rated PG13 for "Some suggestive material, partial nudity, and smoking." 

 

Superficial it may be, but Eddie the Eagle is a thoroughly delightful cinema experience. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Eddie the Eagle gets eight. 

 

Next on the docket: Triple 9. The Russian mob coerces a ruthless gang into attempting a nearly-impossible heist. 

 

Well, dear reader(s), if your current cinema mood is somewhat less cheerful, the weekend schedule also offers the gritty Triple 9, a crime thriller so intense I'm pretty sure I didn't breathe for the first 15 minutes. 

 

Triple 9 boasts an impressive cast, with uniformly solid performances from Chiwetel Ejiofor, Woody Harrelson, Anthony Mackie, Clifton Collins, Jr., Aaron Paul, and Norman Reedus, and brilliant, nearly unrecongizable turns by Michael Kenneth Williams and Kate Winslet. 

 

Despite showing its hand early, the movie is gripping from the first second to the last. It's a brutal picture, backed by a tense, masterful score, and I was equal parts fascinated and appalled. Triple 9 runs 115 minutes, and is rated R for "strong violence and language throughout, drug use, and some nudity." 

 

Triple 9 won't be everyone's cup of tea, but if you're not put off by the dark side of life, you can't help but fall for this exciting-but-grim tale. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Triple 9 gets seven and a half. 

 

Until next time... 

 

 

Movie Reviews: EXTRACT

Sunday, September 06, 2009
Movie Reviews: EXTRACT
IN THEATERS

EXTRACT

Joel, played by Jason Bateman ("Juno," "Arrested Development"), is one step away from selling his flavor extract factory and retiring to easy street when a freak workplace accident sets in motion a series of disasters that puts his business and personal life in jeopardy.

Cast: Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Ben Affleck, Kristen Wiig, Clifton Collins, Jr., J.K. Simmons

Director: Mike Judge

Opened September 4, 2009..

Runtime: 1 hr. 30 min.

Rated R for language, sexual references and some drug use

Genres: Comedy, Workplace Comedy


Review:




Mike Judge’s 3rd film is an effective but unfocused effort that delivers plenty of laughs yet it leaves you feeling there could have been more. Judge returns to the mundane drudgery of the work place, which he wonderfully skewered in cult favorite Office Space, taking the management perspective this go around. His script is peppered with plenty of funny insights into America’s upper middle class making the laughs feel authentic and never contrived. Judge has always shown great talent as a writer as anyone who’s watched his terribly underrated King of the Hill and his criminally overlooked satire Idiocracy. His talent as a director isn’t quite as strong. His films have always had an unfocused meandering feel and Extract is no different. His direction makes you feel like you’re wandering through the story making you wonder where the story is going. It creates an odd feel for the film that makes it feel longer than its actual runtime. It’s not a fatal detriment mainly because Judge populates his film with fun characters played by an incredibly capable comedic cast. Jason Bateman plays his role perfectly and anyone who’s watched Arrested Development knows what to expect. He’s perfected his straight man routine and this role is tailor made for him. Ben Affleck as Joel’s best friend is great fun and he really seems to enjoy himself in this role. Affleck and Bateman’s interactions are some of the movies high points punctuated with a bong hit for the ages. The remaining cast members shine but not as much as they should considering the talent assembled. Kristin Wiig and Mila Kunis respective roles feel underwritten and don’t really give either actress a chance to shine. JK Simmons and David Koechner are giving running gags that are hit or miss in terms of effectiveness. Once the slightly abrupt finale hits you can help but feel charmed by Judge’s type of humor but it does feel like he could have hit a real homerun if he’d used his cast to its fullest potential.




C+