Dearest Blog: On Friday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Mortal Engines and the Mule.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First up: Mortal Engines.
In a dystopian future where "predator" cities devour lesser cities whole, a young lady seeks revenge for her mother's death.
Well, you guys, I'd call this Divergent Hunger Maze thingy a disappointment, but for that to be the case I'd have had to expect something, and, truly, I did not.
Beginning with a couple small positives: Anything that is meant to be terrifyingly, impressively huge in Mortal Engines is just that. Even in 2D, the predator cities appear ready to roll right off the screen to crush the assembled...erm...half-dozen paying customers. There's also the matter of Robert Sheehan, who, for the record, is entirely to blame for my seeing this instead of the Spider-Man cartoon. A cookie-cutter role doesn't give him much to work with, but he is the most interesting thing about the movie, as he generally is in any project fortunate enough to have him. Sadly, the good news ends there. In the unlikely event this film could have overcome it's wooden, unlikable lead, Hera Hilmar, there's dodgy green screen, painful dialogue, and some weirdly out-of-synch ADR to make absolutely certain it falls on its face. The thing runs over two hours (Hollywood, please explain yourself!) and consists mostly of pointless running around and Hilmar scowling at things. If Lord of the Rings fans were hoping for something to indicate Peter Jackson was back on the right track, I guess we'll just have to keep hoping.
Mortal Engines clocks in at a bloated 128 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of futuristic violence and action."
If you want to watch something from the people who made Lord of the Rings, well, maybe just stay home and watch Lord of the Rings again. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Moral Engines gets two.
Next on my agenda: The Mule.
When an elderly horticulturist falls on hard times, he accepts a job "driving" for a drug cartel.
Unlike Mortal Engines, I *did* have some expectations for The Mule, and, sadly, it failed to meet even the barest minimum. What trailers sold as genuine awards fodder instead turned out to be a couple hours of aiming for the lowest common denominator. Clint Eastwood stars as an Archie Bunker caricature whose cluelessness and bigotry are played for laughs at every available turn.
Pedestrian storytelling holds no surprises, and performances from a pretty noteworthy cast are anything but noteworthy; however, most unforgivable is the film's criminal waste of the brilliant Clifton Collins, Jr. I'd considered The Mule to be the weekend's "must see," but I think Spidey would have been the better call here.
The Mule runs 116 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout and brief sexuality/nudity."
Nestled deep in the heart of awards season, The Mule can only be considered a bitter disappointment.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Mule gets four.
Until next time...
