Jake Pentecost is a once-promising Jaeger
pilot whose legendary father gave his life to secure humanity's victory against
the monstrous Kaiju. Jake has since abandoned his training only to become
caught up in a criminal underworld. But when an even more unstoppable threat is
unleashed to tear through cities and bring the world to its knees, Jake is
given one last chance by his estranged sister, Mako Mori, to live up to his
father's legacy.
Director: Steven S. DeKnight
Cast: John Boyega , Scott Eastwood, Cailee
Spaeny, Jing Tian, Adria Arjona, Zhang Jin, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Burn
Gorman
Release Date: March 23, 2018
Genres: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi violence
and action, and some language Runtime: 1h 51min
Review:
Pacific Rum Uprising is one of those sequels
that feels like a lesser version of the original film.That’s not to say that Uprising doesn’t offer
some robot action because it does but it just doesn’t connect in the same way
the original did.Part of the reason is its
decision to jettison the majority of the cast of the original film.Idris Elba died at the end of the first film
so his omission is expected but Charlie Hunnam and Rinko Kikuchi should have
had some sort of role in the sequel.Hunnam couldn’t participate due to scheduling issues and Rinko Kikuchi
is given a token appearance before she’s taken off the board.It’s a shame when a sequel removes nearly
everything from the previous film in order to start with a clean slate and
present us with a new cast of character.John Boyega in the lead is good fun since he’s allowed to spread his
wings a bit more than he has in the recent Star Wars films.Boyega displays some of the energetic charm
he displayed years ago in Attack The Block.Sadly the supporting cast is a solid display of blandness across the
board.Scott Eastwood may look like his
father but he doesn’t have anywhere near the same kind of screen
magnetism.The rest of the supporting
players are made up by faceless 20 something where supposed to care about but
can’t since their about as one dimensional as they come.Charlie Day and Burn Gorman returned for this
entry but sadly the magic just isn’t there.Pacific Rim Uprising is a passable sequel but you can’t help but feel
like it should have been much better.
After a string of garden
gnome disappearances in London,
Gnomeo & Juliet look to legendary detective Sherlock Gnomes to solve the
case of their missing friends and family.
Director: John Stevenson
Cast: James McAvoy, Emily
Blunt, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Mary J. Blige, Johnny Depp
Rated PG for some rude
and suggestive humor.
Genres: Animation,
Adventure, Comedy
Runtime: 1h 26min
Review:
Sherlock Gnomes is a fun
and lighthearted sequel that works more than it doesn’t even though it doesn’t
deliver a ton of surprises.Going
through the basic of Sherlock Holmes mythology in gnome form plays out in a fun
family friendly manner.Johnny Depp
provides the voice for Sherlock Gnomes and gives him a fun self centered
narcissistic voice.Depp and Emily Blunt
spend the better part of the film together and they have some fun
chemistry.McAvoy spends the better part
of the film on a separate storyline which means that he and Blunt don’t have a
lot of interplay which was the highlight of the original but it’s all in
service of the story.The film has a
solid message of not taking loved ones for granted which is a bit more
thoughtful than it really needed to be for this type of family film which is
refreshing.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for that rarest of treats: a triple feature. On the docket: Sherlock Gnomes, Peter Rabbit, and Pacific Rim: Uprising.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First up: Sherlock Gnomes.
When all of London's garden gnomes go missing, it's up to the world's greatest detective to solve the case.
Like it's predecessor Gnomeo and Juliet, Sherlock Gnomes banks on good-nature and likability for its appeal. It's not a game-changer and and it won't be remembered by awards voters when that time rolls around again, but it's the most enjoyable movie I've seen in a good long while. The movie is blessed with a terrific cast, including newcomers Johnny Depp and Chiwetel Ejiofor, returning favorites James McAvoy and Emily Blunt, and...yes...Ozzy Osbourne, whom the filmmakers are wise enough to use in moderation. The art and animation are pretty, bright, and colorful, if not revolutionary, and the cute story bounces along to a cheerful score by Chris Bacon, peppered with familiar snippets of Elton John songs. Sherlock Gnomes expertly rides a fine line, working for kids of all ages while also entertaining adults. There is nothing here that will disturb or upset the young ones, but, in addition to the tunes, there are several adult gags that aim far enough over kids' heads that parents won't be left answering uncomfortable questions afterward. If the message is familiar, the movie delivers it in such charming fashion you won't even mind. Sadly, there's no Jason Statham gnome this time around (*sobs*), but I still loved Sherlock Gnomes exactly as much as I expected, and I expected a LOT.
Sherlock Gnomes runs a quick 86 minutes and is rated PG for "some rude and suggestive humor." (Though the more crass bits from the trailer are missing from the finished product.)
Sherlock Gnomes is great fun for all ages. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Sherlock Gnomes gets eight.
Next on my agenda: Peter Rabbit.
Rabbits and humans jockey for territory in a somewhat abrasive fairytale.
Well, dear reader(s), if there's one thing I want you to know right off the bat, it's that Peter Rabbit probably isn't as bad as you'd think from the trailers or from everything you've heard. Make no mistake, it has BIG problems, but it overcomes most of them for an enjoyable outing.
Getting the bad news out of the way first, we'll begin with the obvious: Those damn rabbits. They are utterly insufferable, like the brattiest, most annoying kids you've ever met. It makes rooting for them impossible, even when the film hits that "delivering the message" point where the relevant parties are supposed to become the best versions of themselves. While the physical comedy mostly works, and Domhnall Gleeson's expressions and timing are impeccable (more on that later), the film's "jokes" are painfully bad, especially a couple awkward attempts at social commentary. The movie struggles mightily to settle on a tone, doubling-down on unfunny attempts at humor and, especially towards the beginning, coming across rather nasty. Finally, though the parental guidelines don't mention it, there are a couple things in this movie that may be upsetting to younger kids. At one point when the rabbits' well being is threatened, there was a small boy in my screening screaming, "I don't like it! I DON'T LIKE IT!" so...um...take care with those little ones, will ya?
Now the good news, and there's more of it than I expected. Leads Domhnall Gleeson and Rose Byrne are ridiculously adorable and have great chemistry. Gleeson, who seems to be in every single movie these days and continues to prove he's pretty amazing at everything, shows off some solid comic chops, working mostly opposite a tennis ball on a stick that would later become the film's talking woodland creatures. An almost-unrecognizable Sam Neill is also great (as always) in too little screen time. The story never really goes anywhere you don't expect, but I'm not sure you'd want it to. Songs pop up awkwardly throughout the movie, but there are some great pop nuggets that are no less enjoyable for the weird placement. Ultimately, the charm of Gleeson and Byrne outweighs the negatives just enough to make Peter Rabbit worth your while.
Peter Rabbit clocks in at 95 minutes and is rated PG for "some rude humor and action."
I'd taken a pass on Peter Rabbit weeks ago, and only saw it this week by virtue of a cinema schedule that left a huge gap between Sherlock Gnomes and Pacific Rim. In the finest example of backhanded praise you're likely to find today, I can tell you it was certainly better than spending two hours sitting in the hallway.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Peter Rabbit gets five.
Closing yesterday's triple-header was the sequel Pacific Rim: Uprising.
Hey guys...guys...we're cancelling the apocalypse again, 'kay?
Uprising is a big step down from the original Pacific Rim, and I can assure you with a reasonable amount of certainty, dear reader(s), that I didn't find it so only because it's missing Charlie Hunnam and Idris Elba. (Though that won't ever help in my eyes, obvs.) The film suffers from paper-doll characters and painfully bad dialogue, but is salvaged somewhat by its likable cast. Though the action is solid, the plot is weak and filled with predictable twists. Lorne Balfe's score is properly epic, and the effects are as massive as a movie-hugeness junkie like me could hope, but, ultimately, if you want brainless fun with big robots, Transformers is a better option.
Pacific Rim: Uprising is a witless good time that you'll forget almost as soon as you exit the cinema.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Pacific Rim: Uprising gets six.
Dearest Blog: Today I elected to pass on lackluster offerings at the cinema in favor of Zak Bagans' documentary Demon House.
Spoiler level here will be mild-ish. I'm including some particulars, but nothing that would make it less worth your watching the film yourself.
Renowned paranormal investigator Zak Bagans documents experiences at the famous "demon house" in Gary, Indiana.
Well, dear reader(s), this may be the easiest review I'll ever write. If you're a fan of Zak Bagans and his Travel Channel series Ghost Adventures, you'll likely enjoy this documentary. If you aren't, maybe take a pass. I am a fan, and I was not disappointed.
Demon House is basically an extended Ghost Adventures episode. It's got more swearing (just to let you know we aren't on cable anymore), but is missing GA's most entertaining aspect, Aaron Goodwin. In fact, Goodwin is the only GA principal missing from Demon House, as Billy Tolley and Jay Wasley both make appearances. (Wasley also shares a producer's credit.)
Bagans adopts a morose demeanor throughout, as if to let viewers know he's still carrying the burden of the experience. As does the Travel Channel series, Demon House offers interviews with many who experienced the house's malevolence firsthand; it does not, however, include any first-person accounts from the family that last lived there. Initially, another family member states they will not speak with Bagans because he has been in the house and the demon already may have attached itself to him, but later the film suggests they were simply pirated by a big Hollywood producer who hoped to adapt their story for the big screen. Following Ghost Adventures' model, Demon House features cheesy reenactments and reserves its most shocking bit of evidence for the second act. Several of those involved complain of lingering effects that timing allows them to chalk up to their encounters with the creepy abode.
Demon House is unlikely to change anyone's mind on the paranormal in general or demonic possession in particular. If you are a believer, you will see things as the film intends: something evil was afoot in Gary, Indiana. If you are a skeptic, it's likely you'll think the evidence is a scam, despite experts' assertations to the contrary.
Demon House clocks in at 111 minutes and is unrated. It does have a fair few f-bombs, as well as many images and scenarios that will be unsettling to believers or to those who are suggestible. As the film itself warns: "View at your own risk."
Renting Demon House from XFinity On Demand cost me about fifty cents more than I would have paid to see something at my cinema this weekend, and I'm reasonably confident I enjoyed it at least fifty cents' more than I would any of the weekend's new releases.
Of a possible nine Weasleys (or should they be Wasleys here?), Demon House gets seven.
Lara Croft is the fiercely independent daughter of an eccentric adventurer who vanished years earlier. Hoping to solve the mystery of her father's disappearance, Croft embarks on a perilous journey to his last-known destination -- a fabled tomb on a mythical island that might be somewhere off the coast of Japan. The stakes couldn't be higher as Lara must rely on her sharp mind, blind faith and stubborn spirit to venture into the unknown.
Director: Roar Uthaug Cast: Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins, Daniel Wu, Kristin Scott Thomas Release Date: March 16, 2018 Genres: Action, Adventure Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, and for some language Runtime: 1h 58min Review: The rebooted Tomb Raider is a solid if paint by the numbers origin story which also makes it one of the better video game adaptations. Of course that’s hardly high praise since video game adaptations have a fairly terrible track record. Luckily Norwegian director Roar Uthaug, who directed the impressive 2015 Norwegian disaster film The Wave, gives his film a palpable plus even if the script is fairly basic. Uthaug delivers some solid action set pieces throughout along with a shipwreck sequence which could serve as a solid test for epilepsy. Uthaug film feels strangely like a 90’s Michael Bay film if you removed all of Bay’s bombast. It’s an interesting bit of alchemy that works more often than not. Tomb Raider wouldn’t work at all if Alicia Vikander couldn’t pull off the role of Laura Croft which she did incredibly well. For the uninitiated, the video game character was rebooted in 2013 as a younger, more grounded take which serves as the basis for this film. So all the cartoonish proportions of the video game and caricature of Angelina Jolie’s 2001 portrayal are thrown by the wayside for a more realistic and grounded approach which works in the film’s favor. Vikander is fully committed to the character and she’s clearly enjoying herself as the heroine. She pulls off a steady balance of strength while still being green and learning her way. Outside of her childlike grunts, Vikander is always the best thing on the screen and gives the film its heart. The supporting cast though is sadly underused and developed. Walton Goggins is given one of the most basic villain characters to play which is a shame since Goggins is such an interesting actor. It’s a fairly large misstep mainly due to the script which doesn’t provide any depth. Daniel Wu’s character is the very definition of a one dimensional character, sure he does some things during the film but he’s more a function than a full-fledged character. Dominic West also isn’t given much to do outside of a wear a terrible wig and look slightly confused and nuts. Tomb Raider is a perfectly watchable film and fans of the video game series will enjoy seeing certain sequences from the 2013 game lifted and woven into this film’s narrative but it all feels incredibly safe. The door is left wide open for a sequel should this film prove to be successful, which with Alicia Vikander in the lead isn’t a bad thing. B-
A Wrinkle in Time is the latest adaptation of the beloved children's book of the same name.
Directed by Ava DuVernay
Starring: Storm Reid, Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling, Levi Miller, Chris Pine, Zach Galifianakis and Michael Pena
My review:
Before I start writing I feel as though I should introduce you all to the 12 year old version of myself that was. I was awkward. Lonely. Bookish. Isolated. And completely saved by this book. Meg Murray was one of my very first heroes. Ever. So this movie is directed at a very personal area of me. Even with a stern talking to....my own personal expectations for this movie was pretty high. I'm going to do my level best to divorce the movie from the book. But as any avid book lover knows, that is far easier said than done. But here goes:
A Wrinkle in Time is the story of Meg and her little brother Charles Wallace on a quest to locate their missing father. They are guided on their travels out of our known galaxy by 3 celestial beings (Mrs Which, Mrs Whosit and Mrs Who played by Winfrey, Witherspoon and Kaling respectively). The epic quest quickly goes from lighthearted to dangerous as they're forced to confront the growing evil entity known as The It.
Let's get right to it. Is it any good? Well yes, it is. Is it as good as the book? Of course it's not.
We'll get the bad out of the way. All of the goodwill that was built in the 1st and 2nd acts of the movie is lost as the 3rd act slowly careens off the rails. I found the last 30 minutes or so of the movie to move at a snail's pace. The set up for the final showdown between good and evil was laborious. Were the problems so egregious that I ended up hating the final product? No. But it does feel like a sort of almost miss when you step back and examine the final product as a whole.
Let's get back to the good, shall we? The visuals are stunning. Mrs Whosit (Witherspoon) was really the stand out for me. Her perfect amount of whimsy was spot on. I was pleasantly surprised by how engaged I was with the young actress who played Meg (Reid). The success of this movie was always going to rise or fall upon her shoulders. It's a heavy weight for one so young (Reid is only 14 years old). The themes of this movie are timeless and were handled with deft hands. I felt more than once as though Momma Oprah was speaking wisdom directly to the bruised 12 year old child that still lives inside of me. Loving yourself, not in spite of your flaws, but because of them is a wonderful lesson for children and adults alike. Yet DeVernay never allowed this to creep into the saccharin territory of the too sweet.
A Wrinkle in Time clocks in at 2 hours and is rated PG for thematic elements and peril. I give it a very solid 3 ½ stars out of 5.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the rowdy double-bill of Gringo and The Hurricane Heist.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First on my agenda, Gringo.
Things go south for a pharmaceutical rep when he unwittingly runs afoul of a Mexican crime lord.
Gringo is a darkly funny outing that certainly won't be everyone's cup of tea. Filled with rough language, drug and sexual references, and up-close-and-personal violence, the story is a crazy one, though clever and sometimes more thoughtful than I expected. David Oyelowo (whose name I'll never learn to spell without looking) heads an excellent cast, striking a perfect tone for our confused and terrified titular gringo. The extraordinary Sharlto Copley shines in a small supporting role, but it's Charlize Theron who really steals the show with a sexy, foul-mouthed turn. Gringo is action packed, well crafted, and makes some surprise turns, building to a suitable and satisfying finale. It does suffer some sluggishness, but if sticking with it occasionally feels like work, the payout is worth it.
Gringo clocks in at an efficient 110 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout, violence, and sexual content."
Gringo can be a rough ride at times, but a great cast and solid story make it worth the effort. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Gringo gets seven.
Fangirl points: Alan Ruck! Yul Vazquez! Harry Treadway! A weird-but-awesome flamenco version of the Cure's Just Like Heaven over the end credits!
Next on the docket: The Hurricane Heist.
Thieves plan to use a Category 5 hurricane as cover for their attempt to steal $600 million from a US Treasury vault.
The Hurricane Heist is that rare picture that is 100% as advertised. It is, in truth, a very stupid movie; however, if you leave disappointed, it can only be due to unreasonable expectations. While it is neither as fun as Geostorm, nor as irrefutably awesome as Den of Thieves, the Hurricane Heist is just wacky enough to get away with its implausible premise and D-list cast. The obvious selling feature for this sort of film is its disaster effects, and here the quality ranges all the way from "pretty sweet" to "stuck in 1939 with The Wizard of Oz." Suffice to say the cast isn't exactly loaded with talent, and it doesn't need to be. True Blood got me used to Aussie Ryan Kwanten speaking with a southern drawl, but I was jarred incessantly by that sound coming out of Toby Kebbell's face. "Starring Maggie Grace" usually means a hard pass from me, so it's no surprise that it was difficult for me to get past her in the lead. The action is wild and the story is as goofy as you'd expect, but--while the movie definitely doesn't take itself too seriously--it's missing a certain element of fun that its wacky premise should have guaranteed.
The Hurricane Heist runs 102 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of gun violence, action, destruction, language, and some suggestive material."
The Hurricane Heist is a passable couple hours of witless entertainment for those slow, waning weeks of winter. (Also I kept thinking of Justin Timberlake in The Social Network: “Drop the ‘the;’ just ‘Hurricane Heist.’ It’s cleaner.”)
Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Hurricane Heist gets four.
Mild-manneredU.S. businessman Harold Soyinka finds himself at the mercy of backstabbing
colleagues, local drug lords and a black ops mercenary after traveling to Mexico. Crossing the line from law-abiding citizen to
wanted criminal, Harold fights to survive an increasingly dangerous situation
that raises the question -- is he out of his depth or two steps ahead?
Director: Nash Edgerton
Cast: David Oyelowo, Charlize Theron, Joel
Edgerton, Amanda Seyfried, Thandie Newton, Sharlto Copley
Release Date: March 9, 2018
Genres: Action, Comedy, Crime
Rated R for language throughout, violence
and sexual content Runtime: 1h 50min
Review:
Gringo is a weird mismash of knock off
Tarantino films that seemed to litter the cinematic landscape after Pulp
Fiction hit in the late 90s.Nash
Edgerton film is overly busy and needlessly complex.The characters themselves are interesting and
eccentric enough but none of them have any tangible depth to them to make them
overly interesting.To its credit, the
film boast a stellar cast who make the film far more watch able than it
deserves to be.David Oyelowo is the
main attraction since he’s clearly having a great time playing against
type.Oyelowo who’s usually a dramatic
actor has some solid comedic chops and provides of the films best moments.Charlize Theron & Joel Edgerton are
terribly underused especially in the second half of the film.The same goes for Sharlto Copley’s character
who’s interesting but he’s introduced late in the film leaving you wanting
more.Gringo as a whole feels like a
missed opportunity, it’s not an unenjoyable film but you can’t help but feel
like there is a much better film there.
Prima ballerina Dominika Egorova faces a
bleak and uncertain future after she suffers an injury that ends her career.
She soon turns to SparrowSchool, a secret intelligence service that trains
exceptional young people to use their minds and bodies as weapons. Egorova
emerges as the most dangerous Sparrow after completing the sadistic training
process. As she comes to terms with her new abilities, Dominika meets a CIA
agent who tries to convince her that he is the only person she can trust.
Director: Francis Lawrence
Cast: Jennifer Lawrence, Joel Edgerton,
Matthias Schoenaerts, Charlotte Rampling, Mary-Louise Parker, Jeremy Irons, Ciaran
Hinds
Release Date: March 2, 2018
Genres: Mystery, Thriller
Rated R for strong violence, torture, sexual
content, language and some graphic nudity
Runtime: 2h 19 min
Review:
Red Sparrow is a solid if predictable
throwback to 80’s cold war spy thrillers like GorkyPark.Those
walking into this film expecting a fast movie action centric spy film will be
thoroughly disappointed.Francis
Lawrence film moves at a snails pace with the cast keeping everything
interesting even during some of the quieter moments.The plot plays out in a pretty
straightforward fashion so the twist and turns that inevitably occur don’t
really surprise or shock that much.Some
of the graphic sequences are uncomfortable but they don’t hit the intended
tone.Thankfully, Jennifer Lawrence
carries the film ably even though she’s acting through some impressive bangs an
unconvincing Russian accent.Still,
she’s always interesting and engaging.If this film had cast a lesser actress in the lead the film would have
been thoroughly unbearable.The
supporting cast is rounded out with the excellent actors like Joel Edgerton, Jeremy
Irons and Ciaran Hinds.Sadly, Edgerton
and Lawrence don’t really share much chemistry making their relationship feel
forced throughout.Jeremy Irons
character could have used a bit more screen time to flesh out his motivations
which are sadly passed off in single sequence late in the game.Red Sparrow isn’t a terrible movie, it just
one that feels like it could have been much better.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to kiss Awards Season goodbye with Death Wish and Red Sparrow.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First on the docket: Death Wish.
A surgeon goes vigilante after his family is attacked.
Regular reader(s) will not be too shocked to hear I couldn't be bothered to revisit the original Death Wish (which I've seen exactly once) before checking out the the remake/reboot/whatever, so...no comparisons here, sorry.
2018's Death Wish is a by-the-numbers revenge thriller that holds few surprises. With Bruce Willis in the lead, it's passably entertaining, but not really dark enough to be taken seriously nor crazy enough to be much fun. Vincent D'Onofrio is wasted in a cookie-cutter sidekick role, though the silver lining is mercifully little screentime for the annoying Elisabeth Shue. Law enforcement is played as bumbling comic relief, with a standard baddie around every turn. I clocked shout-outs to two of my favorite made/set in Chicago movies, The Dark Knight and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but I'm pretty sure they weren't on purpose. Ultimately, I enjoyed Death Wish because it's my kinda movie, but I in good conscience I couldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't share my affinity for witless shoot 'em ups.
Death Wish runs 107 minutes and is rated R for "strong bloody violence and language throughout."
Death Wish is a reasonably entertaining way to give your brain a couple hours' rest, but you'll forget it almost as soon as you exit the theater.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Death Wish gets five.
Next up: Red Sparrow.
When a Bolshoi ballerina's career is ended, she's recruited for a secret Russian intelligence service.
Hey you guys, remember that George Clooney movie The American? The trailers sold it as a thriller, but in actual fact it was the slowest, quietest movie in the history of movies?* (*Including silent movies and The Revenant.) Well, welcome to The American's step-sister, Red Sparrow. While Red Sparrow is neither as quiet nor as plodding as The American, it disappointed me in many of the same ways. Red Sparrow runs two hours plus and moves at a snail's pace. Criminally underusing the talents of James Newton Howard, it's often so quiet I could hear the people ten rows behind me chewing their popcorn. The movie spotlights every uncomfortable, disturbing, or just plain gross moment for the sake of it; in more skilled hands it could and should have been genuinely disturbing, but instead it's just sensationalized for shock value's sake. (It hurts me to say that, as director Francis Lawrence masterfully helmed three episodes of one of my all-time favorite TV series, NBC's short-lived Kings.) Though it's pretty tense throughout, Red Sparrow didn't once surprise me; its twists and turns are too easily anticipated. The film is a decent vehicle for showcasing the brilliance of Jennifer Lawrence, and the supporting cast is plenty solid (nice to see you, Ciaran Hinds!), but it's a shame the movie isn't half as smart as it wants to be. Red Sparrow's one real accomplishment is giving me a weird crush on Joel Edgerton, which I'm guessing won't be too rewarding for the creative team. Oh, and, hey...don't forget to make fun of me for hating this in two weeks when I tell you all how awesome Sherlock Gnomes is, m-kay?
Red Sparrow clocks in at 139 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, torture, sexual content, language, and some graphic nudity." (Movie fans, they're serious. This one is not for the squeamish.)
Red Sparrow is a coulda-shoulda-woulda been thriller that's worth seeing for Jennifer Lawrence, but not for much else.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Red Sparrow gets four.
