MOVIE REVIEW: THE BEEKEEPER

 

One man's brutal campaign for vengeance takes on national stakes after it's revealed he's a former operative of a powerful and clandestine organization known as Beekeepers.

Director: David Ayer

Cast: Jason Statham, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Josh Hutcherson, Bobby Naderi, Minnie Driver, Phylicia Rashad, Jeremy Irons

Release Date: January 12, 2024

Genre: Action, Thriller

Rated R for strong violence throughout, pervasive language, some sexual references and drug use.

Runtime: 1h 45m

Review:

The Beekeeper is a lean, 80's style action film that's solely concerned with delivering mindless mayhem via a perfectly cast Jason Statham.  David Ayer's film waste very little time with set up before he unleashes Statham on his rampage of revenge.  The script doesn't concern itself much with too much backstory with the majority of the background of Statham's character being relayed via exposition dumps provided by a rather game Jeremy Irons.  Statham is perfectly in his element with the film asking him to maintain a steely determined gaze while he plows through an endless barrage of adversaries while never breaking a sweat.  Its all rather ridiculous but undeniably entertaining at the same time.  What makes it work as well as it does is the fact that Ayer and his cast know exactly what kind of film they are making and they go all in with rather impressive gusto.  The supporting cast is populated with a handful of familiar faces such Minnie Driver, Phylicia Rashad and Jeremy Irons with the latter getting the most substantial role.  Josh Hutcherson gets the role of the main villain, a pampered trust fund tech baby, and he's clearly relishing the chance to play against type as he chews up scenery every time his character gets on screen.  Emmy Raver-Lampman and Bobby Naderi have a fun buddy cop chemistry going as FBI agents on Statham's tail.  These performance all come together to make The Beekeeper the kind of film that doesn't ask much of you but to sit back and enjoy.

B

MOVIE REVIEW: EXPEND4BLES

Armed with every weapon they can get their hands on, the Expendables are the world's last line of defense and the team that gets called when all other options are off the table.

Director: Scott Waugh

Cast: Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Megan Fox, Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Jacob Scipio, Levy Tran, Andy García

Release Date: September 22, 2023 

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller, War

Rated R for strong/bloody violence throughout, language and sexual material.

Runtime: 1h 43m

The Expendables franchise has always leaned on 80's action nostalgia with its rotating collection of aging stars.  It seemed inevitable that it wouldn't be able to last forever as the big names slowly dropped off, killing off it's primary draw.  This fourth entry lacks the original hook leaving Jason Statham, Megan Fox and Randy Couture front and center, Stallone appears in what amounts to a glorified cameo.  Statham is generally good fun in supporting role or lead roles especially if he's got strong material.  Sadly the script, production and story overall is terribly lazy and undercooked leaving him to rely on his natural charisma which can only take the film so far.  Megan Fox is distractingly bad throughout, with the film asking us to believe she's a stone cold mercenary even while she's outfitted in clubwear with enough flawless make up caked on to make you think they shot her using an Instagram filter.  It's one of the many things that make the whole thing feel like a bottom shelf rental from the early 80s.  The new cast of characters are all fairly nondescript with 50 Cent acting like 50 Cent and Jacob Scipio giving a fairly terrible Antonio Banderas impersonation as his son.  Iko Uwais serves as the primary villain but he's saddled with pencil thin characterization with the only memorable moment coming in the final act with a well choregraphed fight with Statham which gives the film the slightest bit of a pulse.  The series, as a whole, has never been a bastion of high art but they were fun as mindless mayhem something this entry seems to have forgotten.  Expend4bles is sorely lacking in that department since there's nothing terribly fun about it which leaves it dead on arrival.

D-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Wrath of Man

My dear reader(s), this week it was back to the cinema (yay!) for one thing that always gets me there: Jason Statham. On the docket: Wrath of Man.

Mystery surrounds an armored vehicle guard in Los Angeles.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Honestly being the best policy and all that, I shall go on record as saying Wrath of Man is just the sort of testosterone-fueled bloodbath I want to see when I go to the pictures. I'm a woman of simple tastes, and watching Jason Statham beat the crap out of people is one of my favorite things.

Wrath of Man is directed and co-written by Guy Ritchie, and - while it is not incapable of surprising - its general nature is reasonably predictable if you like Guy Ritchie. (I like Guy Ritchie.) The non-linear plot seems muddled at times, some of the dialogue is cringey, and the whole is a bit humorless, but Wrath of Man is still exciting and entertaining.

Statham is in top form, a strong, mostly silent type who carries the film easily. It's always a pleasure to see Holt McCallany in anything, and the rest of the supporting cast is fine for what's asked of them. (If we're being honest, I probably would think Josh Hartnett and Scott Eastwood were the same person if one of them hadn't made out with Reeve Carney for the TV cameras some years back.) The film is well paced, it doesn't outstay its welcome, and a menacing score by Christopher Benstead perfectly accentuates its dark tone. It's not a game-changer, but Wrath of Man is more than enough reason to get on out to the movies.

Wrath of Man clocks in at 118 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence throughout, pervasive language, and some sexual references."

A strong lead, maximum carnage, and a twisty plot make Wrath of Man a thrilling yarn. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Wrath of Man gets seven.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: WRATH OF MAN

 

Mysterious and wild-eyed, a new security guard for a cash truck surprises his co-workers when he unleashes precision skills during a heist. The crew is left wondering who he is and where he came from. Soon, the marksman's ultimate motive becomes clear as he takes dramatic and irrevocable steps to settle a score.

Director: Guy Ritchie

Cast: Jason Statham, Holt McCallany, Jeffrey Donovan, Josh Hartnett, Laz Alonso, Chris Reilly, Raúl Castillo, DeObia Oparei, Eddie Marsan, Scott Eastwood

Release Date: May 7, 2021

Genre: Action, Thriller

Rated R for strong violence throughout, pervasive language, and some sexual references

Runtime: 1 h 58 min

Review:

Wrath of Man, Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham forth film together is a bit of a mixed bag of a crime drama.  Ritchie style is less flashy and more focused here but it only partially works since there seem to be a strange disconnect between him and the actors.  The style is slick but each of the actors delivers their lines in the stiffest and most wooden manner possible.  This works for Statham since it’s pretty similar to his usual delivery but it doesn’t quiet work for the rest of the cast.  To his credit, Statham performance is appropriately steely and determined throughout even though he disappears off screen for a big chunk of the film after it’s opening act as the story adopts a Rashomon style of storytelling.  While a solid choice for the story’s plot but none of the other characters are quiet as interesting or engaging as Statham’s H since the other characters are fairly one dimensional.  The story itself is nearly as clever as it thinks it is as all the reveals are fairly predictable from the start.  The impressive part of the film that it overcomes it’s shortcomings by being continually watchable and engaging, so much so that you can ignore some of its massive plot holes and paper thin characters. 

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Hobbs & Shaw

Following my blissful ten-week Rocketman interlude, yesterday it was off to the pictures for the decidedly-un-Rocketman-like Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

When a genetically-enhanced baddie (Idris Elba) threatens to release a virus to cull humanity, it's up to Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) to put aside their differences and save the world.

In the grand tradition of the Fast & Furious franchise, Hobbs & Shaw is big, loud, dumb fun that uses a single ridiculous set-piece to up the ante for the whole action genre. (Think Tom Cruise hanging off the side of that airplane in Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation.) The film is fast-paced from start to finish, with well-choreographed fight sequences and insane car chases, but the last act holds a special surprise only hinted at in the trailers. Overall the movie looks really good, though there are a few spots where the green screen is so obvious the actors might as well be Colorforms. (How old is everyone reading this? Do I need a different reference there?) The humor comes easy and is only seldom forced, working especially well for Kevin Hart and Ryan Reynolds in roles that are little more than cameos, but are just what the doctor ordered for the aging F&F series. Elba, Statham, Johnson, and franchise newcomer Vanessa Kirby ensure the movie isn't short on eye-candy. The picture's a bit overlong, but it keeps moving well enough that it's hardly noticeable.

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw clocks in at 137 minutes and is rated PG13 for "prolonged sequences of action and violence, suggestive material, and some strong language."

While it's fair to say the Fast & Furious franchise is getting a bit long in the tooth, Hobbs & Shaw is good fun that not only ticks all the boxes for action fans, but also continues to raise the stakes for stupidly huge stunts. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw gets six.

Fangirl points: My go-to guy Jason Statham and my want-to guy Idris Elba! Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Meg

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for The Meg.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or if you've seen one of these kinds of monster movies before...ever.

 

It's Statham vs. giant shark, and the winner is the box office!

 

Ladies and gentlemen, there's not a lot in this world that gets me more wound up than a new Jason Statham movie, and while sometimes he seems to go out of his way to prove I'll watch him in absolutely anything, this one's not so bad.

 

Let's get the negatives out of the way first: The Meg has its tense moments, but it's not super exciting. Part of the problem is the film is utterly lacking in surprises; every minute plays out exactly how you'd expect, making it feel longer than it is. The cast does the best it can with some truly awful dialogue, and, while my crowd seemed to enjoy the cheap laughs, I rolled my eyes so hard I'm surprised I'm not typing out the back of my head today. Finally, a giant, prehistoric shark should be about the most imposing thing you ever could see, yet somehow it never really earns a 50-foot screen; in fact, it seemed positively puny compared to the Bumblebee trailer that ran before.

 

Now the good news: Obviously: Jason Statham. I was afraid the large-ish cast would mean not enough Statham, but even if he's sharing the screen he's still on the screen most of the time. Win! The rest of the cast is pretty good and does what it can with the material; the fact that sometimes it's not much is never their fault. Regular reader(s) will know I'm no great fan of kids or kid actors, but flat-out adorable Shuya Sophia Cai steals this show right out from under its adult ensemble. The scramble for a PG13 rating kept blood and gore well within reason, too. (Yes, I know some would have put that in the "negatives" paragraph!) The Meg is a decent bit of fun buoyed by a good cast and some pretty scenery, even if it's too silly and drags on a bit at times.

 

The Meg clocks in at 113 minutes and is rated PG13 for "action/peril, bloody images, and some language." The Meg is just the sort of unremarkable brain candy you'd expect from Hollywood this time of year. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Meg gets six. 

 

Oh, and, for the record: "You should put on some clothes," is never, EVER the correct thing to say to Jason Statham.

 

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Fate of the Furious

Dearest Blog: After a two-week hiatus, yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to watch some of my favorite folks drive fast cars, shoot big guns, and blow stuff up in the Fate of the Furious.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

This being the eighth installment in the Fast and Furious franchise, one has to ask: Did they miss an opportunity in not writing it "The F8 of the Furious?" Because I don't see it like that on any of the marketing (despite the official hashtag being #F8) and it's bummin' me out. Secondly: Is the series running out of gas? (Har. Har. Har.) I mean, literally, I think you HAVE to ask that, because every single headline I've seen so far has done so. But I digress...

 

The Fast and Furious franchise has buttered its bread by making each installment bigger and crazier, and this most recent outing is no exception. I didn't feel there was any one huge showpiece (like dropping the cars from an airplane last time), but the whole had higher stakes, better surprises, and more sustained lunacy. Vin Diesel is again front and center, as F8 sees Dominic Toretto turning on his team to work with an evil madwoman, portrayed with gleeful relish by the brilliant Charlize Theron. I was very pleasantly surprised by a couple much-loved faces turning up in the supporting cast, though I'd fervently hoped for one and the Internet tells me I should have known about the other. (Not spoiling here in case anyone else wishes to remain in the dark.) Dwayne Johnson is his usual charming self, and I say with only the tiniest bit of bias that the movie is a good deal better when Jason Statham is onscreen than when he isn't. Despite the world's fate hanging in the balance, F8 has plenty of lighter moments, and the humor, though juvenile and predictable, usually hits the mark. The film throws down massive stunts, explosive action, and, of course, some pretty sweet rides. Negatives are relatively few, but, as usual, the ending comes with extra cheese. Michelle Rodriguez is bad enough that I wondered how I ever thought she wasn't, and the movie could have used at least a 30-minute trim.

 

The Fate of the Furious runs 136 minutes and is rated PG13 for "prolonged sequences of violence and destruction, suggestive content, and language."

 

The Fast and Furious franchise gets full marks for giving its audience exactly what it wants, without ever taking that audience for granted. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Fate of the Furious gets seven.

 

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Review of Mechanic: Resurrection

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: yesterday it was off to the pictures for Jason Statham's latest, Mechanic: Resurrection. 

 

Spoiler level here will be pretty mild, mostly nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. A former assassin is forced out of retirement when the love of his life (whom he's known for all of three days) is kidnapped. 

 

Alrighty, folks, I gotta tell ya: if this isn't the dumbest movie I've ever seen, it's good and damn close. 

 

However, it's also pretty funny (usually not on purpose), so I'm not suggesting you shouldn't get out and see it while you can. I have a feeling it won't be around long. The picture kicks off with a good, old-fashioned Statham ass kicking, and smartly keeps 'em coming regularly. 

 

As spectacularly ridiculous as they often are, they're genius compared to everything in between. Jessica Alba is as vapid as she is gorgeous, offering a performance that mostly consists of vacant looks that are meant to pass as terrified (I think?). 

 

Tommy Lee Jones: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE?? Continuity issues abound, most notably Alba's split lip that keeps appearing and disappearing, and good and bad guys are as broadly drawn as any Saturday-morning cartoon. 

 

The movie boasts action end to end, yet still feels a bit slow at times. Breathtaking stunts, gorgeous locations, and a rip-roaring score by Mark Isham help salvage the whole, but, sadly, this is just not a very good movie. 

 

Mechanic: Resurrection clocks in at 99 minutes and is rated R for "violence and language throughout." Mechanic: Resurrection is good for a laugh, but it probably just should have stayed dead. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Mechanic: Resurrection gets four. Until next time... 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: SPY

After years of doing work integral to the success of major missions, an intelligent but self-conscious deskbound CIA analyst (Melissa McCarthy) is finally given the chance to go undercover as a homely "cat lady" in order to save her missing partner (Jude Law) and thwart a global disaster at the hands of a dangerous arms dealer, in this comedy written and directed by Paul Feig. ~ Erin Demers, Rovi

Director: Paul Feig 

Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale, Allison Janney

Release Date: Jun 05, 2015

Rated R for Language Throughout, Violence, and Some Sexual Content Including Brief Graphic 

Nudity

Runtime: 1 hr. 55 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy

Review:

Spy is Paul Feig’s wonderfully vulgar spoof of the spy genre that could become comedic classic down the road.  It’s hilarious from the start and rarely lags even with it’s hefty 2 hour runtime.  Melissa McCarthy carries the film ably but the real standouts are her supporting cast.  Jason Statham and Rose Byrne are clearly having a ball hamming it up.  Statham steals just about every scene he’s in; thankfully Feig doesn’t overuse him making him more effective.  Byrne and her hair piece are slightly larger players but just as funny as the sexy villainess.  Mix in strong turns by Miranda Hart and Allison Janney and you’ve got a cast firing on all cylinders.  Paul Feig’s script is sharp and witty even going as far as giving us a fairly interesting spy plot to keep things interesting and hilarious all the way through.

A

Cindy Prascik's Review of Spy

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for the new Paul Feig/Melissa McCarthy comedy, Spy.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

After a mission goes awry, a formerly office-bound CIA agent takes to the field.

Well, dear reader(s), the truth of the matter is I don't burn many cinema trips on comedies. There are several reasons for that, not least of which is that you usually spend your ten bucks and two hours only to find you've already seen all the really funny bits for free in a two-minute trailer. However, as Jason Statham goes, so go I, and I'm pleased to report that this time the captivating Mr. Statham is not responsible for two hours I want back. (Lookin' squarely at you, Redemption!)

It's fair to say you haven't heard the last of Jason Statham here, but Melissa McCarthy is the gal with her name above the title, and the comedienne ably keeps the laughs rolling as her accidentally-capable agent plays perfectly off other staples: the debonair Bond-type (Jude Law), the buffoonish superstar (Statham), the desk-jockey best friend (Miranda Hart), and of course the slick and slimy baddies (Rose Byrne and Bobby Cannavale).

Spy couldn't be more brilliantly cast, but as a fan I have to give a special shout-out to Miranda Hart, whose terrific turn hopefully will bring her lots more notice on this side of the pond. And then there's Jason Statham...oh...Jason Statham. If you didn't already know Statham can be funny, well, you just aren't paying attention, but he's a legitimate scene-stealer in Spy, and I couldn't be more delighted. Well, I *could* be more delighted if I hadn't had to wait 13 full minutes for him to make an appearance, but, other than that...probably not. Spy keeps the laughs coming, and if I worried this might be another of "those" waste-of-time comedies, that concern was already off the table before Statham even turned up.

Spy clocks in at an even two hours and is rated R for "language throughout, violence, and some sexual content including brief graphic nudity."

Smartly written and perfectly cast, Spy is a laugh-out-loud comedy with fantastic action and fight sequences, some beautiful locations, and nice twists.

Of a possible Nine Weasleys, Spy gets eight.

Until next time...*

*Author's note: This review sucks because I have no Starbucks today!

Cindy Prascik's Review of Furious 7

Dearest Blog, this weekend a hundred fifty million bucks' worth of us trekked out to catch the latest installment in the Fast & Furious saga, Furious 7.

Spoiler level here will be mild, limited to trailer reveals and stuff you only could have missed if you lived under a rock.

Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) comes after the crew responsible for dispatching his baby brother (Luke Evans) in Fast & Furious 6.

There's not a lot of mystery to the Fast & Furious franchise; you pretty much know what you're going to get. If you pay for a ticket and then complain about it, shame on you; however, there's no denying there are better and worse entries in the series, and, sentiment aside, Furious 7 falls somewhere on the better side of the middle.

Fast & Furious' action objective seems to be: "bigger, louder, dumber." In that regard, Furious 7 is an unqualified success. The insanity of some of the stunts is, in the immortal words of Danny Butterman, "off the f*****g chain!," well worth your big-screen dollar. Unfortunately, much of the dialogue is painfully bad, and attempts at sensitive moments only highlight the limits of much of the acting talent. Michelle Rodriguez, in particular, is so terrible I was a little bit embarrassed every time she was onscreen. (She's generally a favorite, so no hate!)

A cast this size means limited screen time for most, and if your favorite is someone not named Vin Diesel, well, prepare to be disappointed. I'm a big Vin Diesel fan myself. I love Dwayne Johnson and am pretty fond of the rest of the F&F regulars, but when they're facing off with Jason Statham, with apologies to Dom's crew, my loyalty leans only one way!

Any other shortcomings aside, Furious 7's biggest problem is that it's just too damn long. The best action sequences seem to drag on, and even the Paul Walker tribute is over-sold. Heck, if they'd just cut half the shots of people's hands and feet shifting gears, they probably could have come in under two hours and been better for it. Having said all that, Furious 7 is still good fun, and, given the circumstances, I think most of us don't mind indulging the filmmakers if they wanted to hang onto this one just a little bit longer.

Furious 7 clocks in at 137 minutes and is rated PG13 for "prolonged frenetic sequences of violence, action, and mayhem, suggestive content, and brief strong language."

Furious 7 is a big, loud, crazy good time, though, for my money, not as entertaining as the previous two installments in the Fast & Furious franchise. If we're being honest, though, there's only one merit on which this movie is really being judged, and that's whether it's a fitting tribute to Paul Walker and a satisfying farewell to Brian O'Connor. In those respects, I haven't heard any complaints.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Furious 7 gets six.

Until next time...

 Good guy or bad guy, I'm with Statham! <3 span="">

Cindy Prascik's Review Backstreet Boys: Show 'Em What You're Made Of & Wild Card

 Dearest Blog, by my count there were no less than seven movies opening this weekend.

Four of them looked pretty good, and the other three are playing at my local cinemas. So...to the cable box we go for Backstreet Boys: Show 'Em What You're Made Of and Wild Card.

Okay, dear reader(s), if we're being honest, and fair to my local cinemas (even the gross one), it would have taken a helluva movie to compete with folks as near to my heart as BSB and Jason Statham.

Were The Hobbit still in play, I'd almost certainly have paired one of the stinkers with another Hobbit screening, but no Bilbo meant a weekend of "home cinema" for yours truly.

Spoiler level here will be mild, I guess. Is it even possible to spoil a documentary?

Anyway...first on my agenda: Backstreet Boys: Show 'Em What You're Made Of, a behind-the-scenes look at the ups, downs, and enduring popularity of BSB.

Show 'Em What You're Made Of is an honest and heartfelt documentary. The peaks and valleys of fame, and of essentially living in each other's back pockets for two decades, are on full display, and the group members often bicker like old married people.

The conflict and raw emotion make for some hard viewing when you're a fan! (I'm scarred for life by watching Beatles yell at each other in Let It Be, and never did get all the way through Some Kind of Monster.) Still, it's clear Howie, Brian, Kevin, AJ, and Nick love one another like brothers, and it seems no dispute is significant enough to derail the BSB train for long.

The movie touches on the group's legal dispute with former manager Lou Pearlman (currently serving prison time for perpetrating one of the world's largest Ponzi schemes) but is mostly filled with clips of new and old videos, live performances, and behind-the-scenes goings-on, bringing back great memories and making some new ones. And of course there are the songs...oh, the songs! The voices! Backstreet Boys are as fine a vocal group as ever there was, and it's terrific to see how they've stood the test of time and outlived their "boy band" designation.

Backstreet Boys: Show 'Em What You're Made Of runs 101 minutes and is unrated. If you're considering age-appropriateness, there are a number of F-words and the usual adult themes you'd expect for this sort of thing.

I suppose I'm not the only one itching to say "Backstreet's Back" while writing about this movie, but it's clear that Backstreet was never gone. 20 years later, I'm still proud to be a fan.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Backstreet Boys: Show 'Em What You're Made Of gets seven.

Next up was Wild Card.

Jason Statham stars as a Las Vegas bodyguard who lands on the wrong side of some very dangerous people.

Ahhhh...Jason Statham...a name that sends me to the cinema on opening day every time. Of Statham's three most recent "starring" vehicles, this is the second to go straight to VOD, so I had to assume it was, perhaps, not his best work. While that proved a correct assumption, it wasn't quite as bad as Redemption, so I'm counting it as a win.

Statham is great as always in the kind of role he could play in his sleep, and, if it's nothing new, it's still fun to watch. Unfortunately, Wild Card has little else to recommend it. It's only about an hour and a half, yet it drags along, never really getting anywhere.

The generally-likable Milo Ventimiglia is awful in such an awful role that it's hard to even look at him. Most characters are so poorly developed that you just aren't interested, and it's impossible to like/sympathize with the one person with whom you're probably supposed to like and sympathize.

If you look at the cast list and see a name you like, but that name's not "Statham," well...don't waste your time. The handful of other notable cast members probably don't have ten minutes' combined screen time. There is a bit of classic Statham action, but not nearly enough to keep Wild Card from being something of a snoozefest.

Wild Card clocks in at 92 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, language, and some sexuality/nudity."

My love for Jason Statham is undiminished, but if I'm looking for a fix I'm probably gonna go dig out Death Race again.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Wild Card gets four.

Until next time...

*squee*

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Expendables 3

 

 

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for something that gets me as excited as landing on The Nice List come Christmas Eve: a new Expendables movie.

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish, mostly nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Barney adds some fresh faces to his team, in hopes of bringing down an old foe.

Reader(s), let's just get this out of the way: I think the Expendables franchise is the most awesomely awesome awesome in the history of awesome. I didn't love the second installment *quite* as well as the first--it felt a lot like throwing more names at the screen just to see what stuck--and trailers led me to fear the new one might be more of the same. While part three definitely does offer an expanded array of ass-kickers, I am happy to declare it the best of the franchise (so far).

Expendables 3 is non-stop action, spelled with brief bits of Feelings and quick frames of Other Things That Make Badasses Cool, such as riding motorcycles and doing shots. The Expendables get that the action is probably why you came, though, and they see to it you get your money's worth.
Daring vehicular stunts, massive weapons, and nicely-choreographed hand-to-hand combat occupy most of the screen time. As always, the cast is a who's who of action stars: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Wesley Snipes, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Jet Li. Throw in Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Antonio Banderas, and Harrison Ford for good measure, and you've got yourself quite the crew.

The pitfall of a cast this size is that there's never quite enough of THAT ONE GUY you want to see more of (in my case, Statham, always), but the silver lining is that Harrison Ford is...well...Harrison Ford, and Banderas, in top comic form, completely steals the show. The young'uns are the most forgettable batch of low-watt never-will-bes this side of a Twilight movie--and I certainly could have done without the addition of a female Expendable--but the big guns thankfully have enough star power to go around. Though there was quite a fuss about keeping this installment tame enough for a PG13 rating (as opposed to the Rs earned by the first two Expendables flicks), the film doesn't suffer for it. Quite honestly, I can't imagine a more fun time at the movies.

The Expendables 3 clocks in at 126 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence including intense sustained gun battles and fight scenes, and for language."

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Expendables 3 gets eight. Oh, and Sly, dahhhling, you don't have to be 30 years younger to come knockin' on MY door.

Until next time..

 Shut up and take my money!

MOVIE REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES 3

Barney (Stallone), Christmas (Statham) and the rest of the team comes face-to-face with Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson), who years ago co-founded The Expendables with Barney. Stonebanks subsequently became a ruthless arms trader and someone who Barney was forced to kill... or so he thought. Stonebanks, who eluded death once before, now is making it his mission to end The Expendables -- but Barney has other plans. Barney decides that he has to fight old blood with new blood, and brings in a new era of Expendables team members, recruiting individuals who are younger, faster and more tech-savvy. The latest mission becomes a clash of classic old-school style versus high-tech expertise in the Expendables' most personal battle yet. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Patrick Hughes

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Wesley Snipes

Release Date: Aug 15, 2014

Rated: PG-13 for Language, Intense Sustained Gun Battles, Fight Scenes and Violence 

Runtime: 2 hr. 7 min. 

Genres: Action/Adventure 

Review:

By this point in time you come to expect certain things from the Expendables movies.  The third entry starts off well with a rollicking, if a tad silly, action sequence that brings back Wesley Snipes to the screen.  Honestly, I didn’t know I missed Snipes that much but he perks up the first 20 minutes of the movie with an energetic charisma that’s hard to ignore.  After that sequence, the film turns into a bit of slog as we’re slowly introduced to new recruits, none of which have even the tiniest bit of screen charisma, with the characters we’ve come to know relegated to wait off screen.  The biggest sin isn’t that these characters are faceless and just there to serve the plot, it’s that during this extended sequence nothing happens.  There lots of exposition with Frasier popping up to throw some zingers at the plastic corpse that is Stallone but very little action or fun.  It’s honestly the films biggest drawback because the whole sequence could have been done in about 10 minutes so we could bring back the established fun characters or the other new additions like Antonio Banderas who’s hilarious as a motor mouth killer looking for a new team.  Once the final action sequence starts, you remember why your watching this film, lots over the top action with fun characters and crazy eyed Mel Gibson hamming it up as the villain of the piece.  That’s all I was really looking for in this franchise.

C+

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Homefront & Enough Said

Dearest Blog, over the long weekend I was fortunate to make two trips to two different cinemas. Thanks to the busy weekend, I'm only just posting my reviews. Apologies for the delay.

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish, I guess.

Thanks to my benevolent employer dismissing at noon on Wednesday, I spent my afternoon enjoying Jason Statham's latest flick, Homefront.

A former DEA agent moves with his daughter to a small town, which proves less peaceful than expected when he has to face off with the local meth dealer.

Statham Disclaimer (yes, he has his own disclaimer): Jason Statham is one of my favorite people who makes movies, and he almost unerringly makes movies I like. Opening weekend isn't good enough for Statham movies; I'm willing to burn vacation time to see them opening day. I am perfectly capable of loving a terrible movie just because Jason Statham in it (though that's not always the case).

I think Homefront would have been a good enough movie with or without Statham, but for Statham fans there's no denying it's a happy return to form after the drudgery of Redemption (a.k.a. Hummingbird).

Homefront does a nice job of maintaining tension throughout, and really kept me on the edge of my seat. There's not only the obvious good guy versus bad guy plot, but also the more relatable theme of trying to fit in...an idea that probably terrifies me more than the prospect of a firefight with the local drug lord! As you would expect in any movie that involves drug dealers, there's a fair bit of gun violence and things blowing up, but, for the most part we get to see Statham in hand-to-hand combat, which is definitely where he shines. It's all the more entertaining for knowing he insists on doing as much of his own stunt-work as the insurance will allow!

James Franco serves as an oddly-perfect foil to Statham's tough guy, and (to me, anyway) the character was enjoyable despite being a generally horrible person. Kate Bosworth is freakishly accurate as Franco's druggie sister, and Winona Ryder looks born to play the role of a meth-head prostitute. It was nice to see Omar Benson Miller again, too, reminding me how much I actually miss the idiotic glory of CSI: Miami.

Homefront runs 100 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, pervasive language, drug content, and brief sexuality."

Come awards season, Homefront won't make anyone's lists, but, for my money, it was one of the more enjoyable afternoons I've passed at the cinema this year. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Homefront gets seven.

On Saturday, my Mother, who normally wouldn't sit through a movie if someone demanded it at gunpoint, got in her head that she wanted to see the flick playing at our tiny local theatre, which shows some smaller and indie releases when it isn't hosting live performances from our local theatre troupe. As my luck would have it, the film they were showing last weekend was the Julia Louis-Dreyfuss/James Gandolfini rom-com, Enough Said. (I must have crossed paths with a black cat or broken a mirror or something.)

Eva (Louis-Dreyfuss) and Albert (Gandolfini) meet at a party and get romantically involved...but another party guest may ruin the relationship.

I don't think I need to tell anyone that, of all the genres in all of cinema, the romantic comedy is my least favorite by a mile. The only way I'll consider a rom-com is if it stars someone I absolutely can't miss, or if I get pressganged into it. (Read: Mother wants to go to the local movie house on Small Business Saturday.) That's not to say I can't be won over by such a film if it's cute or the characters are likable enough, but unfortunately Enough Said embodies absolutely everything I hate about romantic comedies and then some.

Enough Said is a criminal waste of its two stellar leads, who manage to turn in nice performances while reciting some of the dopiest dialogue I've ever heard outside a Twilight movie. I understand that, to some degree, it's meant to convey the discomfort of getting used to someone new, but too much of it is just bad. Both characters are divorced with daughters about to head off to college, and the kids are so vile I wanted to bang their heads together. (As my sister says, "I don't understand how anyone decides to have kids once they've met a teenager.") The rancid icing on this putrid cake was having to look at my least-favorite actress, Toni Collette, who had more screen time than anyone other than the two main characters. That woman makes me want to throw a shoe at the screen! (If you were wondering, I didn't.)

Enough Said sells those tired, old rom-com principles: there's someone for everyone, nice people should give even the most awful people a second chance, and everyone deserves a happy ending, all of which are less believable to me than anything I've ever seen in a Marvel film or Claymation Christmas special. With the exception of Albert, I found every single character so unlikable that the movie's brief runtime felt like about six hours, and I left thinking they all deserved to die alone and miserable.

Enough Said clocks in at 93 minutes. It is rated PG13 for "crude and sexual content, comic violence, language, and partial nudity." Its impressive IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes ratings tell me I'm in the minority, but I hated nearly every minute. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Enough Said gets three.

Finally, though it relates to neither of this week's films, I want to acknowledge the unexpected passing of Paul Walker over the weekend. When I first I saw the news, I spent the next hour refreshing the screen and hoping someone would prove it a hoax, until his reps officially confirmed via his official Facebook and Twitter. Walker seemed like a genuinely decent guy who was universally well-loved, particularly by his Fast & Furious family and fans, and I am having a hard time shaking off the blues over this one. So, rest peacefully, Paul Walker, and thanks for all the fun times at the movies.

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik’s Review of Redemption (Hummingbird) & White House Down

Dearest Blog, this week my local cinemas conspired to keep me from seeing a Jason Statham film on opening weekend. However, thanks to my heroes at Xfinity, I not only got to see the movie, but also didn't have to follow through with my threat to boycott the cinema in protest. WHEW!!

Spoiler level here will be mild.

First on the weekend's agenda, a Friday night On Demand screening of the new Statham flick Redemption, originally known as Hummingbird.

A tormented ex-special forces soldier does the mob's dirty work while seeking vengeance for a friend's murder.
Everybody knows I love Jason Statham. Jason Statham movies must be seen on opening weekend and, if my schedule permits, I'll burn a vacation day to see them opening day. Even if I don't like anything else about a movie, the fact that it has Jason Statham is good enough for me. Redemption is lucky it has Jason Statham.

Redemption tries to be more than just the average ass-kicking flick. It is a Very Serious Movie, with Very Serious Acting. Nobody in it is so good or so bad as to be worth writing home about, but, as a fan, I enjoy Statham getting to stretch his wings sometimes...and of course there's always a bit of ass-kicking to fall back on. When critiquing actors, I try to avoid taking jabs at anything other than their acting skills; however, here I must note that the leading lady, Polish actress Agata Buzek, has distractingly bad teeth. She's like an honorary member of the Pogues or something.

Redemption is a slow-moving animal, with a couple...um...I couldn't precisely call them "twists," but I'll say "aspects" that might have been intense or even shocking in the hands of more adept filmmakers. Here they are clunky, contrived, and even a little gross, and I wasn't buying any of it. This is a dark, dull, depressing film that builds to an unsatisfying conclusion.

Redemption runs 100 minutes and is rated R for "strong brutal violence, graphic nudity, and language." I've seen some very positive notices, but whatever those folks liked about it, I clearly missed.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Redemption gets four...all for Jason Statham.

Next up was a Saturday trek to the cinema to see the Olympus Has Fallen reboot, White House Down. Wait...what? It's not the same franchise??? Huh.

While on a tour of the White House with his politics-obsessed young daughter, a Capitol cop ends up having to save the President and the country from a paramilitary invasion.

I've gotten the tired joke out of the way, but, yes, this movie was released far too quickly on the heels of the year's earlier White House invasion flick, Olympus Has Fallen. Where there was nary a chuckle to be had in Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down plays it more like Die Hard, with one-liners and gags to spare.

Channing Tatum seems to be Hollywood's "it" guy of the moment and, while I don't find him particularly hot (yeah, you heard me!), I can't think of a film where I haven't enjoyed him. Here he holds up fine opposite Oscar winner Jamie Foxx, though obviously this movie's much more about action than it is about acting. Foxx is solid as the leader of the free world, and the supporting cast has plenty of familiar faces, including Maggie Gyllenhaal, Richard Jenkins, Jason Clarke, James Woods, and Matt Craven. I was excited to see two of my TV faves, Jimmi Simpson and Kevin Rankin, in pretty important roles.

The action in White House Down is huge and, at times, silly, but great fun. If the movie tends to beat you over the head with certain points (we get it, President Sawyer is a REALLY GOOD GUY!), it's not too hard to forgive because it's with honest intent, and, hey, we were rooting for him anyway. The film's biggest flaw is a runtime of almost two hours and twenty minutes, excessive times 12 for a summer popcorn flick.

White House Down clocks in at a bloated 137 minutes and is rated PG13 for "prolonged sequences of action and violence including intense gunfire and explosions, some language, and a brief sexual image" (musta been very brief...I don't even remember it!).

White House Down is definitely the more fun of the year's "let's blow up Washington" movies, and, of a possible nine Weasleys, it gets seven.

And so, dear Blog, we come again to my favorite time of year, that time when my next trip to the cinema includes something new from Johnny Depp. I am giddy with anticipation.

Until next time...




What the hell...I'll vote for him! ;-)

MOVIE REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES 2

IN THEATERS ON DVD

THE EXPENDABLES 2




The Expendables return with a vengeance in this follow-up to the 2010 surprise hit. The Mechanic's Simon West directed from a script by Sylvester Stallone and David Agosto. Liam Hemsworth heads up the rest of the starring cast, which includes returning members Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Terry Crews, along with fellow '80s action icons Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Simon West

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Liam Hemsworth

Release Date: Aug 17, 2012

Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence

Runtime: 1 hr. 43 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

You can’t accuse the sequel to Expendables of not delivering on what it promised. Stallone’s brain child brought a litany of action stars together for the first film and with this second one he ups the ante across the board. Simon West takes over the director’s reigns this go around but it has a very similar feel to the first. The action is extreme and outlandish, very tongue in cheeks almost bordering on self parody occasionally. During the fast and loose action sequences the film finds its groove, allowing its cast to shine doing what they do best, kick ass. Pacing problems due kind of plague the film as West transitions from huge action set pieces to slower almost glacial story moments which change the films tone from fun to overly self serious. It’s most bothersome in the first part of the film which has more exposition than is actually needed for such a simple conceit. Around the midway point the, once the lone wolf shows up, film perks up again leading to a fun and enjoyable finale which features Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger doing what they do best, playing off each other extremely well. Jason Statham is the lone primary star from the first film who gets more than passing face time. As a sequel it delivers bigger bang for the buck even if it isn’t perfect.

B-

MOVIE REVIEWS: THE EXPENDABLES

IN THEATERS

THE EXPENDABLES



An all-star cast of action-movie icons headline Sylvester Stallone's explosive action thriller about a group of hard-nosed mercenaries who are double-crossed during a treacherous mission. Approached by the shadowy Church to overthrow tyrannical South American dictator General Gaza (David Zayas) and restore order to the troubled island country of Vilena, stoic soldier of fortune Barney Ross (Stallone) rounds up an unstoppable team that includes former SAS soldier and blade specialist Lee Christmas (Jason Statham); martial arts expert Yin (Jet Li); trigger-happy Hale Caesar (Terry Crews); cerebral demolitions expert Toll Road (Randy Couture); and haunted sniper Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), a combat veteran who never misses his mark. Traveling to Vilena on a reconnaissance mission with his old pal Christmas, Barney meets their local contact, a cagey guerrilla fighter named Sandra (Giselle Itie). It isn't long before Barney and Christmas have discovered that their actual target is not General Gaza but James Monroe (Eric Roberts), a former CIA operative who has recently gone rogue. Monroe won't be easy to get to either, because his hulking bodyguard Paine (Steve Austin) is a force to be reckoned with. When their mission is compromised, Barney and Christmas are forced to flee, leaving Sandra behind to face almost certain death. But Barney isn't the kind of soldier to abandon a mission, or a hostage, and now in order to get the job done he'll need the help of his old crew. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, Jet Li.

Release Date: Aug 13, 2010

Rated: strong action and bloody violence throughout, and for some language

Runtime: 1 hr. 43 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

Sylvester Stallone wants to revive the ghost of mindless 80’s action flicks, the kind he headlined for years. He’s mostly successful even if in bringing this style of film back with warts and all leaves something to be desired from time to time. Stallone’s direction is generic but single minded and when the action gets hot and heavy its done well without losing focus from the point of the film as a whole. The point being, of course, is to provide lots of bloody carnage replete with bodies exploding, decapitations and bullets with minimal reloading throughout. The cast assembled is of course more than capable to fill the bill. Stallone in the lead role comes off a tad distant and distracted, seemingly more interested in taking in everything he’s brought together and feeling somewhat self satisfied. Needless to say, his acting here is fairly wooden. Jason Statham fairs far better feeling more like the real lead of the film, he comes off the most comfortable of the main cast and he’s good fun throughout. Jet Li is mostly short changed, pun intended, for the most part and what little time he’s given he does well with. Terry Crews has some fun parts popping up here and there throughout the movie. Randy Couture gets a few sections and comes off as wooden but he handles the action well. Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lungren both have small parts that I would have enjoyed to see fleshed out a bit more. Eric Roberts is having a good time laying it on thick as a typical 80’s action movie villain. Don’t expect much more screen time out of Willis and Schwarzenegger than what you see in the trailer even if the exchange is lots of fun. The Expendables delivers exactly what you’d expect and it’s a fun time at the movies, occasionally hitting a few inspired moments of awesomeness.

B-