This week's home cinema offering, Bloodshot, features Vin Diesel as a fallen soldier reanimated with enhanced abilities.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
Bloodshot actually hit my theater a week or two before the Great Shutdown of 2020, but for some reason I didn't make it out, despite my great love of Vin Diesel. I think "for some reason" may be that the movie just didn't look all that good, but I'm pleased to report it's not as bad as I'd feared.
Despite the whole "enhanced abilities" thing, Bloodshot isn't really a superhero movie. If a franchise ensues (as I understand is the intent), it may become that, but it's not there yet. That's neither good nor bad, but in the interest of full and fair disclosure it's worth noting. Vin Diesel is quite good, and the role is a good fit for him. It's nothing too challenging or too different from his usual fare, but there's something to be said for knowing your strengths and sticking with them. Bloodshot is violent, but not overly gory, and sometimes goofy enough to undermine itself. The movie features well-paced action, a likable cast, and nifty effects, an entertaining enough bit of fluff despite its lack of originality.
Bloodshot runs 109 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of violence, some suggestive material, and language."
Even in a crisis-free world, Bloodshot was never going to set the world on fire, but it's a solid enough precursor to the usual summer slate of superhero fare.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Bloodshot gets six and a half.
Until next time...stay safe and sane, dear reader(s)!
While on the run following a botched heist,
the Guardians of the Galaxy encounter a mysterious being known as Ego (Kurt
Russell), who claims to be the long-lost father of team leader Peter Quill
(Chris Pratt). As Quill learns more about his past, the Guardians battle foes
old and new. James Gunn returns to write and direct this installment of the
Marvel Cinematic Universe, which also stars Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, and
Karen Gillan, and features the voices of Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel. ~ Jack
Rodgers, Rovi
Director: James Gunn
Cast: Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper, Vin
Diesel, Zoe Saldana, David Bautista
Release Date: May 05, 2017
Rated PG-13 for language, Brief Suggestive
Content, Sequences of Sci-Fi Action and Violence Runtime: 2 hr. 15 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy,
Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review:
Guardians of the Galaxy
Vol. 2 was always going to be a tough task since the first film was so
unexpected and incredibly fun.The
sequel faces a Herculean task of expanding and continuing everything that
worked in the original.James Gunn’s
follow up is a fun if overly bloated and scattered film.The film’s plot, which has all the subtly of
a sledgehammer, is an overly serious rumination on fatherhood, alienation and
family drama.As a result, some of the
pop and chemistry of the original is missing.There is still plenty to enjoy like the expanded roles for Michael
Rooker’s Youdu and Karen Gilligan’s Nebula but its decision to split up the
core cast zaps the film of the first film’s fantastic chemistry.Kurt Russell’s casting seems like a perfect
match but the character is strangely undercooked.Using a living plant as the primary villain
means that Russell is left on the sidelines for the better part of the final
act which is to the film’s detriment,Elizabeth
Debicki golden skinned Ayesha might have made a better villain.Thankfully the emotional storyline pays off
through an unexpected source which works well because it feels organic and
earned.It’s a shame everything doesn‘t
feel as fluid and organic.The sequel
could of used some trimming which would have made the clunkiness less
noticeable and the film more enjoyable overall.
Dearest Blog: Today it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
Star Lord and company are back for more intergalactic action.
Dear reader(s), there's not much bad news about GOTG2, so we'll get what little there is out of the way first, beginning with the obvious: At the first film's release, GOTG was a mostly-unknown quantity that became a very pleasant surprise for genre and non-genre fans alike. Many hundreds of millions of dollars later, that missing element of surprise is bound to make the sequel feel less special than its predecessor; somehow "everything you expect" becomes both a blessing and a curse. Also, echoing a familiar complaint, the movie is too long for what it is. Not the popular opinion, but Marvel to me are the Masters of Bloat, and a 20-minute trim would have done GOTG2 a big favor. That out of the way, there's a lot to love here.
GOTG2 retains the humor of the original, though it's less consistently sharp. You won't laugh any less on the first go-round, but it's not going to hold up as well over time. The likable cast is expectedly reliable with the action and comedy bits, and, as with the first GOTG, Bradley Cooper's voice work on Rocket is really something special. It's important not to miss that amidst all the choreographed chaos and huge effects, which are end-to-end and admittedly stunning. Awesome Mix Vol. 2 is just as great as Awesome Mix Vol. 1; you'll be downloading it before you're even in the car. Finally, though Baby Groot is the film's highlight, much like the Minions before him, a more judicious use of his cuteness wouldn't be a bad idea. Definitely preferable to leave people wanting more, rather than risking "cute" becoming "annoying."
Guardians of the Galaxy 2 runs 136 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of sci-fi action and violence, language, and brief suggestive content."
While some of the shine may have worn off Guardians of the Galaxy, you'd still be hard pressed to find more fun at the movies. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Guardians of the Galaxy 2 gets seven and a half.
Fangirl points: Tommy Freaking Flanagan! George Harrison is on Awesome Mix Vol. II!!
Dearest Blog: After a two-week hiatus, yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to watch some of my favorite folks drive fast cars, shoot big guns, and blow stuff up in the Fate of the Furious.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
This being the eighth installment in the Fast and Furious franchise, one has to ask: Did they miss an opportunity in not writing it "The F8 of the Furious?" Because I don't see it like that on any of the marketing (despite the official hashtag being #F8) and it's bummin' me out. Secondly: Is the series running out of gas? (Har. Har. Har.) I mean, literally, I think you HAVE to ask that, because every single headline I've seen so far has done so. But I digress...
The Fast and Furious franchise has buttered its bread by making each installment bigger and crazier, and this most recent outing is no exception. I didn't feel there was any one huge showpiece (like dropping the cars from an airplane last time), but the whole had higher stakes, better surprises, and more sustained lunacy. Vin Diesel is again front and center, as F8 sees Dominic Toretto turning on his team to work with an evil madwoman, portrayed with gleeful relish by the brilliant Charlize Theron. I was very pleasantly surprised by a couple much-loved faces turning up in the supporting cast, though I'd fervently hoped for one and the Internet tells me I should have known about the other. (Not spoiling here in case anyone else wishes to remain in the dark.) Dwayne Johnson is his usual charming self, and I say with only the tiniest bit of bias that the movie is a good deal better when Jason Statham is onscreen than when he isn't. Despite the world's fate hanging in the balance, F8 has plenty of lighter moments, and the humor, though juvenile and predictable, usually hits the mark. The film throws down massive stunts, explosive action, and, of course, some pretty sweet rides. Negatives are relatively few, but, as usual, the ending comes with extra cheese. Michelle Rodriguez is bad enough that I wondered how I ever thought she wasn't, and the movie could have used at least a 30-minute trim.
The Fate of the Furious runs 136 minutes and is rated PG13 for "prolonged sequences of violence and destruction, suggestive content, and language."
The Fast and Furious franchise gets full marks for giving its audience exactly what it wants, without ever taking that audience for granted. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Fate of the Furious gets seven.
Dearest Blog: After missing out last week, this weekend it was off to Marquee Cinemas for four--yes, FOUR--big-screen blasts.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know or have guessed from the trailers.
First on my agenda: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.
Alice makes a last(ish) stand against the Umbrella Corporation.
With this ostensibly "final" chapter of Resident Evil coming so quickly on the heels of Underworld's potential finale, for me it was inevitable to draw comparisons between the two badass-broad-fronted movies. I think Resident Evil comes up on the short end, but it's still a fun watch.
Like Underworld: Blood Wars, RE6 kicks off with a refresher on how we got to where we are. In both cases, this proved a waste of time. These movies do a good enough job of (over)explaining themselves as they go along that a person wouldn't be too lost to enjoy, regardless of what he did or didn't remember. It's to Milla Jovovich's benefit that acting chops are immaterial, as she acrobatically faces off with living and undead. Iain Glen is about as subtle a baddie as Snidely Whiplash. Though it's hard, these days, not to see him as the perpetually-friendzoned Ser Jorah Mormont, he does his best to prove himself a Wicked, Wicked Person here. The 2D effects are nothing to write home about, and certainly nothing to recommend the 3D upcharge and headache. There's some nice disaster footage (think Deepwater Horizon, if everybody hated the undead instead of the planet), and some truly wacky stunts, but much of the action is so dark all you can do is cross your fingers and hope your favorite character is still standing when it finally gets light again. Clumsy storytelling makes the film feel overlong. There's a nice thank-you message from director and star before the show, and, if it turns out this really is The End, it's a satisfying--if hokey--finish.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter runs 106 minutes and is rated R for "sequences of violence throughout."
The premise is less interesting and the cast less enjoyable than Underworld, but Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is big, dumb fun. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter gets four.
Next on the docket, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage.
The original Triple X is back in business.
Well, dear reader(s)... Now. We. Are. Talking. Were you in the market for a great, fun actioner? Well, you found it! xXx: The Return of Xander Cage is filled with absurd stunts, good-natured humor, pretty faces, and hardbodies all 'round. The plot obviously won't tax those little grey cells too much, but there are a few nice surprises wrapped around edge-of-your-seat action and a truly likable cast. And did I mention ridiculous stunts? Over the top in the most fun way. Vin Diesel knows his niche as well as any actor, and, while there may come a day when I no longer get a kick out of watching him do what he does, it is not this day.
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage clocks in at 107 minutes and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and for sexual material."
It's not brain surgery, but The Return of Xander Cage is about as much fun as I can imagine having at the cinema. Of a possible nine Weasleys, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage gets seven.
Movie Catchup Day Two kicked off with Gold.
Against all odds, a down-on-his-luck prospector and a geologist strike gold in Indonesia.
Initially, Gold appeared to be another potential awards goldmine (see what I did there?) for Matthew McConaughey, but his loony performance doesn't help this too-talky tale get off the ground. McConaughey underwent another extreme physical transformation to portray Kenny Wells, a doughy dude with a receding hairline, and nothing says "Oscar bait" like a handsome actor who looks nothing like himself in a based-on-a-true-story role. Sadly, neither the performance nor the picture is very memorable, and Wells' appearance is played mostly for mean-spirited laughs. Edgar Ramirez is the film's highlight, understated as Wells' partner Michael Acosta. The picture moves slowly and is never really that interesting, thanks to unlikable characters and twists that can be seen a mile out. Ultimately it's a nasty little tale about greed and willful cluelessness, The Wolf of Wall Street without the gripping relevance.
Gold runs 121 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout and some sexuality/nudity."
Gold is a dull, disappointing movie with little to recommend it. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Gold gets four.
Fangirl points: An Iron Maiden t-shirt is pretty prominent in one important scene. This is not a drill: an Iron Maiden t-shirt is in the movie!
The final installment on the weekend's busy schedule: Oscar hopeful Lion.
A young man who was lost as a child in India, then adopted by an Australian couple, searches for his birth family.
Lion is a moving true story of love and, if we're being honest, not a little good fortune. The film points out that over 80,000 children go missing in India each year, but this is a story about one of the lucky ones. Lost and miles from home, Saroo faces many threats to his well-being before being adopted by a childless, loving Australian couple. The setup drags on too long, and, for my money, the film would have been better served if it were trimmed a bit and/or spent more time on the young man's search for his birth family and less on the travails of his younger self. Having said that, newcomer Sunny Pawar is delightful and absolutely heartbreaking as the younger Saroo, owning the screen like a seasoned pro. Early scenes of his time on the streets are tense and uncomfortable, but effective. Nicole Kidman and David Wenham are almost too good to be true as the boy's adoptive parents, challenges touched on but mostly airbrushed like an unfortunate wrinkle before botox. (Sorry, Nicole.) As grownup Saroo delves ever more deeply into his search, Dev Patel is brilliant; eager and terrified, desperate for information, but hiding his intent from even those who might be able to help. It's a testament to the power of this story that, in an age where everyone seems to have forgotten how to behave appropriately at the cinema, there was nary a peep from my audience for the duration.
Lion clocks in at 118 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic material and some sensuality."
Lion is a sobering but uplifting tale of love and luck. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Lion gets seven.
Dearest Blog: With awards season in full swing, the weekend once again features too many desirable cinema options and too little time. My schedule allowed for just two of the four new releases playing at my theatre, so I chose the two everybody knew I would.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First on the docket: The Last Witch Hunter.
Vin Diesel protects humanity from big bad witches. No, seriously, that's it.
The Last Witch Hunter combines Hobbity-looking historical battles with an uneasy present-day truce between witches and humans. There'd be no movie if said truce didn't quite hold, so it won't be much of a spoiler to reveal that witches are, in fact, hunted here. Diesel goes from looking like a caveman to looking like an undertaker (or The Undertaker), and I am unsurprisingly giddy about all of it.
The Last Witch Hunter is too dark at times to really see much of anything, but the effects are pretty solid and overall it's got a cool gothic look that's well suited to the subject matter. Action sequences are well executed and keep the picture moving, amid a backstory that's a bit of a shambles and more than the movie needs.
There's a good deal of humor, both intentional and as a result of some spectacular overacting. Female lead Rose Leslie has come a long way since she just wanted to learn to type on Downton Abbey, and I lost count of how many times I muttered, "You know nothing, Jon Snow," under my breath when she was onscreen.
She's not bad by any means, there's just nothing about the role or the performance to make anyone forget what she's done before. Michael Caine and Elijah Wood are both underused, but certainly up to what little is required of them. The movie is nicely-paced and smart enough not to wear out its welcome.
Not an awards hopeful by any stretch of the imagination, The Last Witch Hunter earns its October release with Halloween-appropriate subject matter, but, if you're looking for real scares, you'll need to look elsewhere.
The Last Witch Hunter runs 106 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images."
It's undeniably hokey, but The Last Witch Hunter is also great fun.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Last Witch Hunter gets six.
(Yes, that's one more than Mississippi Grind. So sue me.)
Next on my agenda: one of my most anticipated 2015 titles, Steve Jobs.
Long before people started queuing up for days to get the newest iPhone, Steve Jobs was a meanie who actually failed at stuff.
When a movie like Steve Jobs is released, the loudest initial reaction is almost always from those complaining about exaggerations and inaccuracies in the portrayal. No doubt this film contains a fair few of both, but, even if it were two hours of total fiction, Steve Jobs is a great, GREAT movie.
Starting with the obvious: Aaron Sorkin has once again penned a masterful script, full of the smart, rapid-fire dialogue that is his trademark. Michael Fassbender is remarkable, completely disappearing into his role as the future electronics juggernaut. The handsome Fassbender even bears an uncanny resemblance to Jobs at times, especially in his later years.
Kate Winslet is no less stunning as Jobs' long-suffering right hand, Joanna Hoffman, seemingly the only person able to derail the locomotive of Jobs' ambition when sanity requires it. Jeff Daniels, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Seth Rogen round out the award-worthy supporting cast.
Steve Jobs can be a difficult film to watch, as Jobs browbeats staff and friends, and alienates the few people who actually care for him. Winslet is especially heartbreaking as she lobbies Jobs to do right by his daughter. For an entirely action-less picture, Steve Jobs keeps an extraordinary pace and never once feels dull or too long.
Like the Social Network before it, Steve Jobs paints its subject as quite the jerk, but, if lack of social graces is the cost of foresight like Jobs' (or Zuckerberg's), for my money, it's worth it every time. Daryl Dixon may survive alright without the products of such genius, but I daresay the rest of us wouldn't even be interested in trying.
Steve Jobs clocks in at 122 minutes and is rated R for language.
I cried at the end of Steve Jobs, not because it was happy and not because it was sad, but because it was just that great.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Steve Jobs gets eight and a half.
Dearest Blog, this weekend a hundred fifty million bucks' worth of us
trekked out to catch the latest installment in the Fast & Furious
saga, Furious 7.
Spoiler level here will be mild, limited to trailer reveals and stuff you only could have missed if you lived under a rock.
Deckard
Shaw (Jason Statham) comes after the crew responsible for dispatching
his baby brother (Luke Evans) in Fast & Furious 6.
There's not
a lot of mystery to the Fast & Furious franchise; you pretty much
know what you're going to get. If you pay for a ticket and then complain
about it, shame on you; however, there's no denying there are better
and worse entries in the series, and, sentiment aside, Furious 7 falls
somewhere on the better side of the middle.
Fast & Furious'
action objective seems to be: "bigger, louder, dumber." In that regard,
Furious 7 is an unqualified success. The insanity of some of the stunts
is, in the immortal words of Danny Butterman, "off the f*****g chain!,"
well worth your big-screen dollar. Unfortunately, much of the dialogue
is painfully bad, and attempts at sensitive moments only highlight the
limits of much of the acting talent. Michelle Rodriguez, in particular,
is so terrible I was a little bit embarrassed every time she was
onscreen. (She's generally a favorite, so no hate!)
A cast this size
means limited screen time for most, and if your favorite is someone not
named Vin Diesel, well, prepare to be disappointed. I'm a big Vin Diesel
fan myself. I love Dwayne Johnson and am pretty fond of the rest of the
F&F regulars, but when they're facing off with Jason Statham, with
apologies to Dom's crew, my loyalty leans only one way!
Any other
shortcomings aside, Furious 7's biggest problem is that it's just too
damn long. The best action sequences seem to drag on, and even the Paul
Walker tribute is over-sold. Heck, if they'd just cut half the shots of
people's hands and feet shifting gears, they probably could have come in
under two hours and been better for it. Having said all that, Furious 7
is still good fun, and, given the circumstances, I think most of us
don't mind indulging the filmmakers if they wanted to hang onto this one
just a little bit longer.
Furious 7 clocks in at 137 minutes and
is rated PG13 for "prolonged frenetic sequences of violence, action, and
mayhem, suggestive content, and brief strong language."
Furious 7
is a big, loud, crazy good time, though, for my money, not as
entertaining as the previous two installments in the Fast & Furious
franchise. If we're being honest, though, there's only one merit on
which this movie is really being judged, and that's whether it's a
fitting tribute to Paul Walker and a satisfying farewell to Brian
O'Connor. In those respects, I haven't heard any complaints.
Of a
possible nine Weasleys, Furious 7 gets six.
Until next time...
Good guy or bad guy, I'm with Statham! <3 span="">
Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for Guardians of
the Galaxy and some afterthought that dared turn up the same weekend as
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First on the docket was the afterthought, Get On Up.
Get On Up tells the story of James Brown's self-made rise from dirt-poor childhood to the Godfather of Soul.
Okey-dokey,
readers: confession time...and this is an embarrassing one. I don't
particularly care for James Brown. There, I said it. I respect the
influence of his music on all the music I love, but I've never been a
fan of the man himself. As such, my expectations for a movie full of
music I don't like were middling at best.
If there's one thing Get
On Up does have going for it, it's Chadwick Boseman, who follows up his
stunning turn in 42 with an even more amazing performance...and some
pretty terrific dance moves.
True Blood's Nelsan Ellis is especially
noteworthy as Brown's best friend and longtime professional
collaborator, Bobby Byrd, but, truly, the entire cast is well above
average. The story is kind of a mess, but never dull. It's not told in
linear fashion--beginning to middle to end--but rather jumps among
various periods of Brown's life. The order is seemingly random, but the
segueways are so flawless that, while I wouldn't say I precisely liked
it, I will say it was effective.
I don't imagine it ever felt like there
was much order in Brown's life for himself or those around him.
The
movie also does a fair job of not painting Brown a saint just because
he's: a.) talented, and b.) no longer with us. Then of course there's
the music, LOTS of it. My understanding is Boseman lip-synched to actual
James Brown recordings, and there were a couple times I felt it was a
little obvious, especially having recently seen Jersey Boys, where
numbers were performed live on set. If you like the music, you'll be a
World Champion Chair Dancer by the end, but for me some of the numbers
seemed to drag.
Get On Up clocks in at 138 minutes and is rated
PG13 for "sexual content, drug use, some strong language, and violent
situations." It was far more enjoyable than I anticipated, but still not
the spiritual experience I expect from movies about music legends.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Get On Up gets six.
Next
up was the movie the about which I (and the rest of the Internet) have
been frantically abuzz for months now, Guardians of the Galaxy.
A ragtag bunch of villains-turned-heroes faces a foe set on mass destruction.
Admit
it, reader(s), even if you aren't usually into superhero movies, you
took one look at this trailer and were completely sold. The
self-deprecating hero. The gun-toting raccoon. The green hottie. The
humor. The tunes...oh, the TUNES!! The buzz has been so overwhelmingly
positive for so long that, by the time showtime finally rolled around, I
was a little nervous about a letdown. I needn't have worried.
There's
a joke going around the Internet, something along the lines of DC
Comics being all worried the world isn't ready for a solo female
super-hero movie, but Marvel says, "Here's a talking raccoon."
I'm a DC
girl myself, but Guardians of the Galaxy, to me, is everything Marvel
does right.
The overall tone of Guardians is humorous. The movie
never bogs down with backstory, yet it tells enough about each character
that he's more than just the sum of his actions in this particular
film.
Everyone is sympathetic to some degree...yes, even the raccoon.
There's plenty of big, explosive action, yet none of those
seemingly-endless scenes of run-on destruction. (Lookin' at you,
Avengers and Man of Steel.)
The art and effects are beautiful and
realistic. I'll happily be the latest in a long line to mention the
soundtrack that's about to become the most-played thing on your iPod,
filled with great 70s nuggets like 10CC's I'm Not in Love and The
Runaways' Cherry Bomb.
Finally, each and every Guardian deserves credit
for a solid performance full of heart and wit...though I still wonder
who thought it was a good idea to give Bradley Cooper a role where we
don't see his magnificent face.
Guardians of the Galaxy runs 121
minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and
action, and for some language." It is that very rare item that actually
lives up to the hype.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Guardians of the Galaxy gets eight and a half.
A group of interstellar outlaws team up to save the
galaxy from a villain who seeks ultimate power in this comic book space
adventure from Marvel Studios and director James Gunn (Slither, Super). ~ Jason
Buchanan, Rovi
Release Date: Aug
01, 2014
Rated R for some Language and Intense Sci-Fi
Action/Violence
Runtime: 2 hr. 2 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Family
Director: James Gunn
Cast: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Lee Pace, Bradley Cooper,
Michael Rooker, Vin Diesel
Review:
Marvel has given us some fantastic even great films over the
past decade or so, setting the bar pretty high for every new release.Guardians of the Galaxy keeps up that trend
by delivering an incredibly enjoyable sci-fi ride free of any overlapping story
arch.There’s a kinetic freedom in it
right from the start capturing a perfect mix of epic fun that’s sure to become
a life long memory for young children everywhere.James Gunn turns out to be a perfect choice
for this particular film since it takes advantage of all his talents, giving us
a less vulgar Tarantino light version of the super hero movie.His cast is equally impressive across the
board with Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana, always more comfortable in sci-fi,
leading the charge.Bradley Cooper’s
Rocket Raccoon and Vin Diesel’s Groot work so much better than expected, each
leaving an indelible mark on the film.Throw in a heftier dose of Michael Rooker than expected, never a bad
thing, and you have one of the most enjoyable movie going experiences of the
summer and probably one of the better superhero films of all time.
Dearest blog, today it was off to the cinemas for one of my least-anticipated films of the year, Riddick.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing the trailers didn't reveal.
Riddick again finds himself stranded on a dangerous planet, pursued by threats both native and not.
Listen, dear Blog, I didn't find the previous two films in this series very interesting, and I didn't expect better from this. My only motivation for seeing it was that I absolutely love Vin Diesel and Karl Urban, and, that being said, I suppose I deserve what I got.
Diesel is, of course, acceptable in the lead. That's not saying much, as a robot or anyone who has brought down the house at a third-grade Christmas pageant also probably would have been acceptable. Urban doesn't have even a full minute's screen time; if you were thinking of suffering through this to see him, don't bother. The rest of the cast is most notable for a guy I would have bet a paycheck was Dave Chappelle who is not Dave Chappelle. There are actually two people in this world who have Dave Chappelle's crazy teeth. Who knew, right?
Riddick is two hours of gross outs, puerile humor, shots of dry rocks and scrub, then wet rocks and scrub, and a pointless parade of badly-done CGI creatures. The story is dull as dishwater, and if you find a twist the biggest idiot won't see coming...well, I'd give you a paycheck if I hadn't already lost it on Not Dave Chappelle. I'd complain that it's too long, too, but that hardly seems fair since five minutes would have been too long. If I had to say something good about this movie, I'd say at least I was able to see it with one of my favorite people, whom I don't see nearly enough.
Riddick clocks in at an interminable 119 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, language, and some sexual content/nudity."
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Riddick gets none, as in ZERO, as in this movie is the equivalent of Voldemort taking Hogwarts and KILLING THEM ALL. The bad news is, this film is god-awful. The good news is, it's nice to be right sometimes, I guess?
Vin Diesel's Riddick character gets a new lease on life in this third film from writer/director David N. Twohy. Katee Sackhoff and Bokeem Woodbine head up a group of assassins out to kill Riddick, who lures them to a desolate planet when confronted with a hostile alien species. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi
Rated R for some Sexual Content/Nudity, Language and Strong Violence
Runtime: 1 hr. 58 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review:
After The Chronicles of Riddick I was fine if we never saw Riddick again, that’s how bad that sprawling mess of a movie was. Sometimes certain characters deserve to be left alone in their singular film, Pitch Black, so they aren’t degraded by lesser sequels. Riddick is closer akin to Pitch Black in scope and setting but it’s lacking any of that film’s strengths. Instead we have a laborious slog of a movie that never goes anyway and definitely doesn’t bring anything new to the story. Riddick “borrows” the main plot from Pitch Black and throws in a bit of Aliens for good measure. This sound’s like it should make for a fun film but it doesn’t. It’s doesn’t, in fact the 3 acts can be described like so; Act 1: Riddick gets a dog, Act 2: The Mercenaries, Act 3: It rains. Sadly, I think I’ve ruined the movie because outside of those basic descriptions not much else happens. There’s lots of monotone “cool” dialogue from Diesel and stilted dialogue from characters that wouldn’t even qualify as one dimensional. This all might be forgivable if the film was quick and delivered a solid punch during the action sequences. It doesn’t instead were subjected to more bad dialogue that sounds like it was written by 13 year olds. The film clocks in at nearly 2 hours for some reason and feels more like 4 hours. The tone is so incredibly serious you get the feeling that Twohy and Diesel thought they’d just created the next sci-fi masterpiece. Thankfully I think they came to their senses because they end the film so abruptly. Perhaps they took pity on the audience and decided to put us out of our misery, hopefully they do the same with the Riddick character.
Dearest Blog, today it was off to the cinema with one of my favorite girls to see some of my favorite guys in Fast & Furious 6.
Agent Hobbs uses a ghost from their past to enlist Dominic Toretto and crew to bring down a dangerous international criminal mastermind.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
Huge action, loud music, and plenty of eye candy make the Fast & Furious franchise my kinda movies, and the sixth installment does not disappoint.
I consider a big screen full of Vin Diesel the noblest and best use of a big screen. The Fast & Furious films don't tax what some might (cruelly!) call his limited abilities, and he capably leads the ensemble through its high-octane paces. Dwayne Johnson brings his customary charm back to the table, and great banter between Chris "Ludacris" Bridges and Tyrese Gibson provides most of the movie's comic relief. Luke Evans shines as a baaaaaaaaaaad baddie who poses the team's biggest threat yet. If you aren't a Luke Evans fan, well, you haven't been listening to a word I've said these past three years, but you're sure to be impressed with him in FF6. I only wish he'd had more screen time...but then again I always wish that!
As usual, jaw dropping car chases and stunts provide Fast 6's centerpiece. Had this film been in 3D, I might have gotten carsick! There's also a fair bit of impressive weaponry and plenty of hand-to-hand combat, including a hot girlfight between Gina Carano and the glorious Michelle Rodriguez. Though it's never slow, Fast 6 does run a tad long, something that easily could have been fixed by cutting some shots of gears being shifted. The car's going fast. Now it's going faster. We get it already.
Fast & Furious 6 clocks in at 130 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of violence and action and mayhem throughout, some sexuality and language."
Fast & Furious 6 is, in the immortal words of Sergeant Nicholas Angel, "an adrenaline-fueled thrill ride," sure to please old and new fans alike. Even a mid-flick theatre evacuation today couldn't derail the fun! The movie will never win any Academy Awards, but it's everything it promises to be and everything fans expect. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Fast & Furious 6 gets eight.
Until next time...
Luke Evans...as awesome as I promised you he is! ;-)
