My dear reader(s), Netflix has declared the 2020 Holiday Season in full swing with its second new Christmas offering of the year: The Christmas Chronicles 2.
Spoiler level here will be mild, I suppose, but in truth the movie holds few surprises.
Christmas is in jeopardy, and it's up to Kate Pierce to help Santa save the day.
Well, my friends, I have to start by saying I remember very little about the first Christmas Chronicles. I felt a little better when IMDB told me it came out in 2018, because I feared I'd already forgotten it almost completely from just last Christmas. WHEW! Cheery holiday fare tends to make me happy, so I'm pretty sure I liked it, and the sequel holds true to form.
Objectively, I will note that Christmas Chronicles 2 is sometimes almost painfully predictable, right down to individual snippets of dialogue that I said in my head as they were voiced onscreen, though I was watching for the first time. The characters are barely more than cartoons, but they don't need to be for this benign bit of holiday merriment. Darby Camp and Julian Dennison are almost too annoying to bear at times, but Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn, and Jahzir Bruno are charming enough to carry the movie through its weaker spots. Bright animation works seamlessly with live action, and sets, costumes, and score are all designed to turn up the Christmas Cheer to eleven. A probably unintentional bonus: The ending makes a nice little nod to Tombstone, one of the greatest movies of all time and my favorite project of Kurt Russell's long and storied career.
The Christmas Chronicles 2 runs 112 minutes and is rated PG for "mild action/violence and brief language."
There's nothing new or surprising about Christmas Chronicles 2, but if you're looking for some easily digestible holiday entertainment for the whole family, it'll be just the ticket. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Christmas Chronicles 2 gets six.
The Christmas Chronicles 2 is now streaming on Netflix.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Flashback Cinemas' presentation of Big Trouble in Little China.
This film celebrated its 32 birthday on July 2nd, so if a review still manages to spoil something for you, at this point I feel like that's kinda on you.
Truck driver Jack Burton and his friend Wang Chi face the dark magic of the Motherland to rescue Wang's fiance, the elusive girl with green eyes, when she disappears in San Francisco Chinatown.
Big Trouble in Little China is one of those movies that, if it's running on any channel, it's probably on at my house, so it's a familiar old favorite that we watch without really watching sometimes.
Revisiting such classics on the big screen is a great way to ensure they get the undivided attention they deserve.
From its synth-heavy score to its hero's mullet and lace-up boots, there's no mistaking Big Trouble in Little China's 1980s vintage. The picture's indelible time-stamp and campy nature make dated effects and clumsy animatronics seem quaint. Kurt Russell ticks all the boxes as Jack Burton: he’s dashing enough for the action hero, charming enough for the romantic lead, and just bumbling enough to generate good comedy, but it's Dennis Dun who steals the show as Wang Chi, Burton's friend who frequently is the real hero of the day. Kim Cattrall and Kate Burton are entertaining as gung-ho attorney Gracie Law and earnest reporter Margo Litzenberger, and James Hong’s David Lo Pan is nothing short of iconic. Impressive fight scenes with a martial arts flair never drag on too long (are you listening, 2018 Hollywood?), and, though the fashions may be dated, some of the cultural costumes are lovely. Finally, kids, if you *can* see the Three Storms come out of the sky on a big screen, you absolutely *should* see the Three Storms come out of the sky on a big screen.
Big Trouble in Little China runs a quick 99 minutes and is rated PG13 for “adult situations, language, and violence.”
Action, comedy, romance...Big Trouble in Little China has it all, and that is, in the immortal words of Wang Chi himself, “no horsesh**t.”
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Big Trouble in Little China gets nine.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a double-bill of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and Deepwater Horizon.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or perhaps the news.
First up: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.
Some characters straight out of his grandfather's bedtime stories turn a young man's ordinary existence upside-down.
It goes without saying that a story with "peculiar" in the title is ideally suited to director Tim Burton. All of Burton's more recent projects have earned critical ire (mostly deserved), and, if Miss Peregrine isn't quite the Burton of old, at least it seems to be a step in the right direction.
The film boasts glorious production design, some lovely set pieces, and stunning locations; Burton has not lost his ability to find beauty in even the strangest and most macabre things. Colleen Atwood's costumes and a wonderful score by Michael Higham and Matthew Margeson perfectly compliment the eerie atmosphere.
Unfortunately, though the story is compelling, the movie seems to crawl along at a snail's pace. There's too little of the stellar Eva Green (who was born for this role), and too much of the bland child cast.
Asa Butterfield is perfectly dreadful in the lead; he might as well have been reading from cards. Nothing points to 3D being a worthwhile investment on this one, aside from the fact that, in 2D, the movie's often too dark to see what's happening.
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children clocks in at 127 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of fantasty action/violence, and peril."
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children is visually impressive enough to earn your big-screen dollars, but, sadly it's also something no idea so magical should ever be: kinda boring.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar children gets five.
Fangirl points: Keep your eyes open for a rare and delightful Tim Burton cameo!
Next up, the based-on-true-events tale of Deepwater Horizon.
An explosion on a free-floating offshore drilling rig has disastrous consequences.
Dear reader(s), Deepwater Horizon is one of those movies whose trailer was so ubiquitous and irritating that I worried the movie wouldn't have a chance of overcoming it, but I'm pleased to report my concern was mostly unfounded.
Mark Wahlberg stars as Mike Williams, a technician on the rig who is central to this telling of the story. We're introduced to his insufferably cutesy wife and daughter (Kate Hudson and Stella Allen), then to most of the rig's crew through his eyes, giving viewers just enough of each person to make sure they'll be acceptably sad for the unlucky ones.
The supporting cast has a fair few familiar faces: Kurt Russell, John Malkovich, and my celebrity boyfriend (per a super-scientific Buzzfeed quiz) Dylan O'Brien. There's enough setup to make it clear who're the Good Guys and the Bad Guys, and then--BOOM!--disaster.
The film doesn't waste too much time getting there and, to its credit, moves along nicely throughout. The bulk of the picture plays out as the rig's situation deteriorates and crew members try to save themselves and others. Deepwater Horizon does a perfect 180 from its advertising, showing individuals behaving heroically, minus the frustrating chest-thumping vibe of the trailer.
The movie's disaster effects are spectacular, with sound mixing and editing in particular deserving full marks. It's a bit dark and jiggly at times, but that only adds to viewers' ability to share the terror the folks aboard that rig must have felt.
Two small and random quibbles: Did Williams' wife really take time to do her nails over the course of these harrowing hours?
They're pink the whole movie, then a French manicure when she and their daughter reconnect with him at the hotel following the rescue. Also, looking at photos of the crew next to the actors portraying them, I'm thinking my wish to have Beyonce star in the story of my life isn't so unrealistic after all.
Deepwater Horizon runs 107 minutes and is rated PG13 for "prolonged, intense disaster sequences and related disturbing images, and brief strong language."
Deepwater Horizon might have been better suited to summer's action season than to awards season, but it's an edge-of-your-seat tale that hopefully will make the world more cautious and aware going forward.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Deepwater Horizon gets six.
The passengers, bounty hunter John Ruth and his fugitive Daisy Domergue,
race towards the town of Red Rock
where Ruth, known in these parts as “The Hangman,” will bring Domergue to
justice. Along the road, they encounter two strangers: Major Marquis Warren, a
black former union soldier turned infamous bounty hunter, and Chris Mannix, a
southern renegade who claims to be the town’s new Sheriff. Losing their lead on
the blizzard, Ruth, Domergue, Warren and Mannix seek refuge at Minnie's
Haberdashery, a stagecoach stopover on a mountain pass. When they arrive at
Minnie’s, they are greeted not by the proprietor but by four unfamiliar faces.
Bob, who’s taking care of Minnie’s while she’s visiting her mother, is holed up
with Oswaldo Mobray, the hangman of Red Rock, cow-puncher Joe Gage, and
Confederate General Sanford Smithers . As the storm overtakes the mountainside
stopover, our eight travelers come to learn they may not make it to Red Rock
after all…
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason
Leigh, Walton Goggins, Demián Bichir.
Release Date: Dec
25, 2015
Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence, Some Graphic Nudity,
Language and Violent Sexual Content.
Runtime: 2 hr. 47 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Suspense/Thriller
Review:
The Hateful Eight will probably end up being one of
Quentin Tarantino’s most divisive films of his careers.Personally I found plenty to love here as he
pulls from Sergio Leone with a healthy dose of Agatha Christie but it’s a slow
burn sort of film.It’s easy to see why
many people could be turned off.The
film plays out like a cinematic stage play with a heavy focus on dialogue and
characters.As always Tarantino brings
out the best in his actors, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Walton Goggins benefit the
most here, even while they’re playing some fairly despicable characters.Each character is a fascinating twisted sort
that populates most of Tarantino’s films but with an old west slant.Watching him sets them up in a twist version
of Twelve Angry Men with a healthier dose of blood and carnage especially in
the final act.The final act does sort
take a different tone as things get more extreme and violent which might turn
off some people but it’s just Tarantinobeing Tarantino, grindhouse will always be in his blood.
Dearest Blog: If the truth of Awards Season is sacrifice, the truth of the holiday season seems to be haste. Hurry here, hurry there, never enough time to fit everything in. Thus, at the ungodly (movie) hour of 9:30 this morning, I found myself at "not my" cinema for a screening of Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
Dear Reader(s), every December, I visit New York City. Every December, without fail, someone in my group gets 9:00 a.m. Rockettes tickets, so we have to set out at stupid o'clock to see they get to Radio City bright and early for all those peppermint-stick costumes and high kicks.
A person can reasonably be expected to handle just so much of certain things at that hour of the day; the enforced chipperness of the Rockettes is one of those things, and Quentin Tarantino is most certainly another. I have never, ever understood 9:00 a.m. Rockettes tickets.
I am neither a fan nor not-a-fan of Quentin Tarantino. I know what I'm always getting in a Tarantino flick: gratuitous violence and scenarios that shock for the sake of it.
Sometimes that's just stray garbage scattered about a great picture, sometimes the entire movie belongs in the dumpster.
Unfortunately for The Hateful Eight, it appears to be trash day.
This muddled mess does nothing to earn or justify its over-three-hour runtime.
Uniformly despicable characters prattle on endlessly, only a fraction of their willfully repulsive dialogue necessary to provide backstory or propel the film forward. The graphic, incessant brutality is no less abhorrent for being expected.
The Hateful Eight has a handful of terrific moments, mostly courtesy of Walton Goggins, as well as a wonderful score and top-notch sound editing, but, generally speaking, this one's a dud.
The Hateful Eight runs 167 minutes and is rated R for "strong, bloody violence, a scene of violent sexual content, language, and some graphic nudity."
A bloated exercise in ego, The Hateful Eight neither enlightens nor entertains; it only bores and disgusts.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Hateful Eight gets two.
Until next time, I wish a happy New Year to anyone and everyone who ever takes a moment to read my ramblings.
May 2016 be peaceful, healthy, and prosperous for you all. See you at the pictures!
Dearest Blog, this weekend a hundred fifty million bucks' worth of us
trekked out to catch the latest installment in the Fast & Furious
saga, Furious 7.
Spoiler level here will be mild, limited to trailer reveals and stuff you only could have missed if you lived under a rock.
Deckard
Shaw (Jason Statham) comes after the crew responsible for dispatching
his baby brother (Luke Evans) in Fast & Furious 6.
There's not
a lot of mystery to the Fast & Furious franchise; you pretty much
know what you're going to get. If you pay for a ticket and then complain
about it, shame on you; however, there's no denying there are better
and worse entries in the series, and, sentiment aside, Furious 7 falls
somewhere on the better side of the middle.
Fast & Furious'
action objective seems to be: "bigger, louder, dumber." In that regard,
Furious 7 is an unqualified success. The insanity of some of the stunts
is, in the immortal words of Danny Butterman, "off the f*****g chain!,"
well worth your big-screen dollar. Unfortunately, much of the dialogue
is painfully bad, and attempts at sensitive moments only highlight the
limits of much of the acting talent. Michelle Rodriguez, in particular,
is so terrible I was a little bit embarrassed every time she was
onscreen. (She's generally a favorite, so no hate!)
A cast this size
means limited screen time for most, and if your favorite is someone not
named Vin Diesel, well, prepare to be disappointed. I'm a big Vin Diesel
fan myself. I love Dwayne Johnson and am pretty fond of the rest of the
F&F regulars, but when they're facing off with Jason Statham, with
apologies to Dom's crew, my loyalty leans only one way!
Any other
shortcomings aside, Furious 7's biggest problem is that it's just too
damn long. The best action sequences seem to drag on, and even the Paul
Walker tribute is over-sold. Heck, if they'd just cut half the shots of
people's hands and feet shifting gears, they probably could have come in
under two hours and been better for it. Having said all that, Furious 7
is still good fun, and, given the circumstances, I think most of us
don't mind indulging the filmmakers if they wanted to hang onto this one
just a little bit longer.
Furious 7 clocks in at 137 minutes and
is rated PG13 for "prolonged frenetic sequences of violence, action, and
mayhem, suggestive content, and brief strong language."
Furious 7
is a big, loud, crazy good time, though, for my money, not as
entertaining as the previous two installments in the Fast & Furious
franchise. If we're being honest, though, there's only one merit on
which this movie is really being judged, and that's whether it's a
fitting tribute to Paul Walker and a satisfying farewell to Brian
O'Connor. In those respects, I haven't heard any complaints.
Of a
possible nine Weasleys, Furious 7 gets six.
Until next time...
Good guy or bad guy, I'm with Statham! <3 span="">
