Cindy Prascik's Retro Review: Flashback Cinema Presents Big Trouble in Little China

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Flashback Cinemas' presentation of Big Trouble in Little China.

This film celebrated its 32 birthday on July 2nd, so if a review still manages to spoil something for you, at this point I feel like that's kinda on you.

Truck driver Jack Burton and his friend Wang Chi face the dark magic of the Motherland to rescue Wang's fiance, the elusive girl with green eyes, when she disappears in San Francisco Chinatown.
Big Trouble in Little China is one of those movies that, if it's running on any channel, it's probably on at my house, so it's a familiar old favorite that we watch without really watching sometimes.

Revisiting such classics on the big screen is a great way to ensure they get the undivided attention they deserve.

From its synth-heavy score to its hero's mullet and lace-up boots, there's no mistaking Big Trouble in Little China's 1980s vintage. The picture's indelible time-stamp and campy nature make dated effects and clumsy animatronics seem quaint. Kurt Russell ticks all the boxes as Jack Burton: he’s dashing enough for the action hero, charming enough for the romantic lead, and just bumbling enough to generate good comedy, but it's  Dennis Dun who steals the show as Wang Chi, Burton's friend who frequently is the real hero of the day. Kim Cattrall and Kate Burton are entertaining as gung-ho attorney Gracie Law and earnest reporter Margo Litzenberger, and James Hong’s David Lo Pan is nothing short of iconic. Impressive fight scenes with a martial arts flair never drag on too long (are you listening, 2018 Hollywood?), and, though the fashions may be dated, some of the cultural costumes are lovely. Finally, kids, if you *can* see the Three Storms come out of the sky on a big screen, you absolutely *should* see the Three Storms come out of the sky on a big screen.

Big Trouble in Little China runs a quick 99 minutes and is rated PG13 for “adult situations, language, and violence.”

Action, comedy, romance...Big Trouble in Little China has it all, and that is, in the immortal words of Wang Chi himself, “no horsesh**t.”

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Big Trouble in Little China gets nine.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: THE THING (2011)

IN THEATERS

THE THING (2011)

An American paleontologist and a team of Norwegian scientists fight for their lives against a shape-shifting extraterrestrial that can perfectly mimic any living creature in this prequel to John Carpenter's 1982 horror classic. Upon receiving word that the Antarctic research team has unearthed an alien craft, paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) joins the group to explore what secrets the ship might hold. Though by Kate's estimation the creature inside the spaceship has been dead for centuries, it has actually just been lying dormant in the ice. Perfectly preserved, it has awaited the day when it would finally be freed from its frigid prison; now, after eons of lying in wait, that day has finally come. Suddenly revived during a crucial experiment, the malevolent alien begins methodically mimicking each member of the crew undetected. By the time Kate realizes the frightening implications of the creature's unique ability, it may already be too late. As paranoia among the crew begins to intensify, it's up to Kate and the crew's helicopter pilot, Carter (Joel Edgerton), to make sure the extraterrestrial menace is exterminated before it has the opportunity to escape -- for, should it manage to make its way to a heavily populated area, humanity's days may be numbered. Matthijs Van Heijningen Jr. makes his feature directorial debut from a script by Eric Heisserer and Battlestar Galactica's Ronald D. Moore. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi
Director: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.

Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Ulrich Thomsen, Eric Christian Olsen, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

Release Date: Oct 14, 2011

Rated R for Strong creature violence and gore, disturbing images and language

Runtime: 1 hr. 43 min.

Genres: Horror, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

REVIEW:

The Thing prequel was always going to be a dicey subject for me since Carpenter’s remake from the 80’s is one of my top 3 favorite horror films of all time. I’ve tried to keep an open mind but I am only human and I’m sure my prejudices infect this review more than it should. This prequel feels a lot like a remake especially in the first act. It plays very similarly but first time director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. seems more interested in getting to the creature effect as opposed to building up suspense. The story also changes the creature’s logic, making it more aggressive where as Carpenter’s version reacted in a more defensive manner. The effects in of themselves are impressive and pay homage to the Carpenter film but the CGI is of variable quality, occasionally looking very good then looking incredibly bad in others. Heinjinigen turns this prequel more into a standard creature feature with characters that could barely be called paper thin. The characters, including the lead, feel like nothing more than fodder for creature. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is terribly miscast her and she reads lines about as flatly as they can be read. Her performance and character are never engaging or interesting instead a general sense of bland throughout. The remainder of the cast is simply asked to replicate versions of characters from the Carpenter film, with Joel Edgerton and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje doing their best Kirk Russell and Keith David impersonations. There are a few scares here and there but with the lack of any tangible suspense they are all telegraphed making them fairly obvious. The final act plays more like something from the Aliens franchise. The ambiguity of the Carpenter film is missing right through the end. A nice wrap up scene, setting up the Carpenter film, during the credits is well done but doesn’t do much but put the final pieces in place. Fans of the Carpenter film will find things to like here and there and will probably walkout with the desire to watch the Carpenter film as soon as they leave the theater, quickly forgetting this prequel.

C

[Red Band Trailer] The Thing (2011)

The first trailer hardly instilled a lot of hope in me for this prequel but this Red Band Trailer and the amount of CGI which looks to dominate the creature effects are really making me feel more than a little depressed.

Still trying to keep an open mind but it’s getting harder and harder……

MOVIE REVIEW: THE WARD

ON VIDEO

THE WARD


A young girl named Kristen (Amber Heard) awakens in a psychiatric hospital after setting a farmhouse ablaze, and finds herself stalked by a malevolent ghost in this psychological shocker from celebrated horror director John Carpenter (Halloween). Badly battered and seemingly stricken with amnesia, Kristen forges a fragile friendship with fellow patients Sarah (Danielle Panabaker), Iris (Lyndsy Fonseca), Emily (Mamie Gummer), and Zoey (Laura-Leigh) as her compassionate therapist, Dr. Stringer (Jared Harris), works to uncover the source of her mysterious condition. Later, at night, when the lights in her remote ward go dim, Kristen is confronted by an imposing phantom that seems intent on dragging her screaming into the darkness. Eventually, the other girls in the ward begin to vanish, one by one. Now, the harder Kristen fights to avoid falling prey to her shadowy pursuer, the more convinced she becomes that no patient who's checked in to North Bend Psychiatric Hospital ever comes out alive. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: John Carpenter

Cast: Amber Heard, Danielle Panabaker, Mamie Gummer, Lyndsy Fonseca, Jared Harris

Release Date: Jul 08, 2011

Rated R for violence and disturbing images

Runtime: 1 hr. 28 min.

Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

John Carpenter took a 9 year hiatus from feature filmmaking after making the dreadful Ghost of Mars. Carpenter’s return was mildly anticipated because he’s created a handful of favorites including one of my favorite horror films ever, his remake of The Thing. That being said, even the most diehard fan can’t ignore his obvious decline during the 90’s even though I am one of the few that liked Vampires. The Ward unfortunately just continues the decline, it’s biggest sin is that’s it not really a mess on the scale of Ghost of Mars but it’s just so bland and uninspired that you are left wondering why he chose this project to break his hiatus. The film is directed decently and it flows nicely but it’s just about as vanilla as it gets. Nothing about it has any identity or soul, it’s a mindless run through a plot that’s rudimentary and never really all that engaging. Amber Heard is incredibly easy on the eyes but her performance along with the rest of the cast, outside of Jared Harriss who looks like he’s really trying, is bland and nondescript. At best I can see it as a throwback to the “woman in cages” exploitation films from the 70’s but even that is kind of a stretch. It’s still better than Synder’s horrid Sucker Punch but that’s not really much of a compliment. Carpenter’s general sense of disinterest is so palpable that you can almost here him yawning in the background or maybe that’s you.

C-