Cindy Prascik's Review of Fury

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the pictures to wage war with Brad Pitt's Fury.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

As World War II draws to a close, an outmatched US tank crew undertakes a dangerous mission.

Well, dear reader(s), I'll be straight with you: my interest in Fury can best be described as "at least it's not that Nicholas Sparks thing." It looks like my kind of movie, and the cast is (mostly) terrific, but for some reason the trailers did nothing to excite me. Figuring I'm gonna need this one come awards time, though, I set out today hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

Fury is being lauded as an honest look at war, and that may well be, but it's otherwise a total dud.

The characters are broadly drawn caricatures, and the dialogue is so badly written it might as well be Twilight. Every incident, every encounter, every happening is more predictable than the last, straight out of the tear-your-heart-out War Movie Playbook.

The cast actually IS mostly solid and can't be faulted for the film's failings, with the notable exception of Shia LeBeouf.

A great actor inhabits a character so you forget whatever you might know of him, personally, but LeBeouf is so profoundly unlikable that whatever acting skill he possesses is nowhere near up to that task. Even Brad Pitt seems somehow diminished, following so quickly on the heels of Robert Downey, Jr.'s and Denzel Washington's most recent starring turns.

If Fury gets credit for putting the horrors of war on up-close-and-personal display, it also has to take the blame for dawdling overlong on just about everything, resulting in an excessive runtime that could and should have been trimmed by at least 20 minutes. If this mess makes a ripple come awards season, I shall fail to feel even the tiniest bit of shame for keeping I, Frankenstein on my year-end top ten list!

Fury clocks in at 134 minutes and is rated R for "strong sequences of war violence, some grisly images, and language throughout."

I never go into a movie set on hating it, and honestly expected to come out of Fury impressed despite myself, Instead, the only fury to be had was my own, for seven bucks and two hours I can't get back.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Fury gets four.

Until next time..

You each owe me $1.40.

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Judge & Dracula Untold

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the pictures for what looked like an Oscars/Razzies double bill of The Judge and Dracula Untold.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on the docket was The Judge. (See what I did there?)

A hotshot big-city attorney (Robert Downey, Jr.) returns to his smalltown home for his mother's funeral, but ends up defending his father (Robert Duvall)--a respected judge--against a murder charge.

The Judge layers family drama with legal thriller in an interesting, if unsurprising, tale. It's Awards Season, so it goes without saying the movie runs long, and I suppose it's meant to give you a case of the warm fuzzies about smalltown America (versus the big, bad city), a ploy that never, ever fails to annoy me. The Judge is littered with respected and decorated actors: Duvall, Vera Farmiga, Billy Bob Thornton, and Vincent D'Onofrio. Most everyone has the opportunity to weep his or her way through a potential Oscar clip or three, but it's Downey who will get you through the movie's bloated runtime without looking at your watch.

He is the most watchable person making movies today, and round about the 90-minute mark, you'll be ever grateful for that, trust me. To gauge The Judge's true merit, then, it's only fair to ask: How good is this movie if it stars somebody else? The answer is maybe a little better than average.

The Judge clocks in at 141 minutes and is rated R for "language, including some sexual references."
Minus Robert Downey, Jr., The Judge is a well acted but predictable and excessively-long drama. With Robert Downey, Jr., it's infinitely watchable and easily forgiven for its sins.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Judge gets seven.

Next up was Luke Evans' first real starring vehicle, Dracula Untold.

Having left life as "the Impaler" behind him, Prince Vlad Tepes makes a deal with the devil to protect his family and his people.

Dear reader(s), as something of an expert on the subject, I want to remind you up front that Luke Evans is a truly talented, multi-faceted actor, and his films have yet to scratch the surface of his potential. It's important for me to make that clear for reasons that will become apparent later.
Dracula Untold is more like Dracula Untrue, turning the fabled Count into a bizarro mix of superhero and romance novel cover boy. Evans can't be blamed (much to the relief of this longtime fan), and, to his credit, he manages to pull off the silly action and terrible dialogue with a fair bit of charm. The usually reliable Dominic Cooper is miscast as the movie's villain...and where ya goin' with that accent, Coop?? Blandly pretty Sarah Gadon is...erm...bland and pretty as Drac's missus, but in the end both she and the role are entirely forgettable. Though the movie is smart enough not to wear out its welcome, and there are some decent effects scattered about, it is, for the most part, a laughable exercise. Having said all that, you really should go see Dracula Untold, because Luke Evans: a.) kicks ass, b.) makes out, and c.) takes off his shirt. That's worth your ten bucks any day.

Dracula Untold runs 92 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of warfare, vampire attacks, disturbing images, and some sensuality."

It's nowhere near as silly as Twilight, but Dracula Untold isn't the movie vampire fans have been waiting for, either.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Dracula Untold gets five. (But I'm sure I'll be seeing it again and again!)

Until next time...

So...uh...see you at the theatre, then?

MOVIE REVIEW: DRACULA UNTOLD

Director Gary Shore revamps the mythos surrounding Vlad the Impaler in Dracula Year Zero, a Universal Pictures release from a script by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless. The horror tale is set to take place in Romania during the Turkish invasion as Vlad (Luke Evans) goes to the greatest of lengths to fight for his homeland -- even if it means selling his soul and becoming forever doomed as a creature of the night. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Gary Shore

Cast: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper.

Release Date: Oct 10, 2014

Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Warfare, Disturbing Images, Some Sensuality and Vampire Attacks 

Runtime: 1 hr. 32 min. Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror 

Review:

Dracula Untold desperately wants to be the start of a new franchise.  Everything about it screams origin story, something we’ve seen countless times before in countless other films.  This take on Dracula borrows heavily from the superhero genre mixed with a healthy dose of Lord of the Rings style battles.  Luke Evans is appropriately grim and determined as the titular Dracula even if he can’t quite find a solid grip on something original about the character.  That’s hardly a surprise since the character has been done so many times most children could probably recite the standard mythology, most of which is rehashed yet again here.  Still, Evans tries hardily to trudge through the pedestrian storyline hitting all the standard notes.  The film might have been strong if Dominic Cooper had been given better material to work and made better use of the villain.  On the plus side, Gary Shore keeps his movie moving at a brisk pace throwing in enough visual flourishes to keep it interesting enough to hold your attention.  The ending leaves open a massive door for future sequels which could be more intriguing than this run of the mill origin story.  

C

Cindy Prascik's Review of Gone Girl

Dearest Blog, yesterday I headed out to the cinema for one of the year's most-anticipated titles, Gone Girl.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Ben Affleck (Batman! Batman! Batman!) stars as Nick Dunne, a man who becomes a suspect in the disappearance of his wife, Amy (Rosamund Pike).

I haven't read the book on which Gone Girl is based, so no comparisons here as to how the film stands up against the source material.

On its own merits, Gone Girl, the movie, stands up pretty darn well. It's a twisting, turning affair, where almost nothing is quite what it seems, yet it never gets so convoluted it feels like it's lost its way. Dear reader(s), by now you know me well enough to know I can't possibly look at Ben Affleck without thinking (Batman! Batman! Batman!), but, even prior to his much-debated casting as the caped crusader, he seemed a very polarizing actor.

That makes Affleck (Batman! Batman! Batman!) an inspired choice for his role, as you're never quite sure how you're supposed to feel about Nick. Rosamund Pike continues to make good use of her patented wide-eyes-heaving-breasts act, but does a fine job of portraying all facets of one of the more...erm...*interesting* characters I've seen onscreen of late. The supporting cast is uniformly solid, with Carrie Coon turning in an especially good performance as Nick's ever-loyal twin sister.

Even Tyler Perry, whom I generally despise with the fire of a thousand suns, is pretty okay here. Another stunning score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross sets the mostly ominous tone. The movie is too long by at least 20 minutes, but it's easy enough to forgive in such a well-spun, surprisingly fun yarn.

Gone Girl clocks in at 149 minutes and is rated R for "a scene of bloody violence, some strong sexual content/nudity, and language."

Whether or not you were already a fan of the book, Gone Girl gives you every reason to get out to the theatre.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Gone Girl gets eight.

Until next time..

 
Are you the hero Gotham deserves?

MOVIE REVIEW: GONE GIRL

GONE GIRL – directed by David Fincher and based upon the global bestseller by Gillian Flynn – unearths the secrets at the heart of a modern marriage. On the occasion of his fifth wedding anniversary, Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) reports that his beautiful wife, Amy (Rosamund Pike), has gone missing. Under pressure from the police and a growing media frenzy, Nick’s portrait of a blissful union begins to crumble. Soon his lies, deceits and strange behavior have everyone asking the same dark question: Did Nick Dunne kill his wife?

 Director: David Fincher 

Cast: Rosamund Pike, Ben Affleck, Tyler Perry, Neil Patrick Harris, David Clennon

Release Date: Oct 03, 2014

Rated R for a scene of bloody violence, some strong sexual content/nudity, and language

Runtime: 2 hr. 25 min.

Genres: Suspense/Thriller

Review:

Gone Girl is a wonderfully dark decent into the recesses of martial hatred and resentment.  It’s something that anyone who’s been in long term relationship can relate to and David Fincher’s new film takes it to its most extreme points.  Any other director might have fallen into some of the most glaring Lifetime movie tropes of the story but Fincher elevates the entire proceedings giving us something closer to his criminally underrated The Game.  The story’s big reveal isn’t much of a surprise to be honest but it makes for an interesting turn where things really start to kick off in extreme ways.  The cast is generally fantastic even Tyler Perry who’s pitch perfect as the high priced lawyer.  Ben Affleck is perfectly suited for the smug but terribly tone deaf husband and Rosamund Pike is just stellar as his wife.  It’s an impressive dissection of our tabloid culture while hitting on some uncomfortable truths about inattention and lingering resentment that burrows into peoples souls.  It’s probably needless to say but Gone Girl is the type of film that sticks with you once you’ve left the theater. 

A

MOVIE REVIEW: ANNABELLE

The demonic doll from gets her very own feature in this spin-off produced by James Wan, written by Gary Dauberman, and directed by John R. Leonetti. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: John R. Leonetti  

Cast: Annabelle Wallis, Ward Horton, Alfre Woodard, Tony Amendola, Kerry O'Malley

Release Date: Oct 03, 2014

Rated R for Intense Violence and Terror

Runtime: 1 hr. 38 min.

Genres: Horror

Review:

If you are going into Annabelle expecting an equally powerful follow up to last years The Conjuring you will be mildly disappointed.  Annabelle is a serviceable horror film but it hits every cliché you can think of all the while channeling Rosemary’s Baby for some reason. First time director John Leonetti has a good eye but doesn’t know how to bring anything new to the proceedings even though he delivers a nice stairwell sequence in the latter half of the film.  That isn’t enough to make you forget that we’re left with some incredibly bland leads who moves from possession trope to another while you keep reminding yourself that Tony Amendola is not F. Murray Abraham.  Alfre Woodard deserves special notice because even though she’s collecting a paycheck, she’s still worlds better than the rest of the cast.  Annabelle isn’t a terrible movie per say it’s just one of the many film that’s a retread of better movies.

C

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of The Boxtrolls & The Equalizer

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the cinema for a pair of flicks I've been pretty would up about: The Boxtrolls and The Equalizer.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on my agenda was The Boxtrolls.

Underground dwellers the Boxtrolls are threatened by the above-ground humans who fear them.
The Boxtrolls looks for all the world like a movie Tim Burton might have made when he used to be interesting. Pretty much everything in it is expressly designed to be ugly (you haven't seen teeth like this since Austin Powers!), but the artwork is stunning. Boxtrolls is a dark movie, taking place mostly underground or at night, with neutral colors setting the perfect tone. The entertaining voice cast includes Ben Kingsley, Jared Harris, Elle Fanning, Nick Frost, Richard Ayoade, Tracy Morgan, Simon Pegg, and Isaac Hempstead Wright. The story is a little dark and pretty slow at times; I would be hard pressed to try selling this as a movie for kids, even though that's obviously what the filmmakers intended. The second act is somewhat brighter than the first, and even has a few laugh-out-loud moments, though, truth be told, I found them ill fitting and less enjoyable than the rest of the movie.

The Boxtrolls runs 97 minutes and is rated PG for "action, some peril, and mild rude humor."
It's not the game-changer I'd anticipated, but it's pretty darn great nonetheless. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Boxtrolls gets seven.

Next on the docket was The Equalizer.

A seemingly ordinary man, living a quiet life, resurrects some old skills to help a young acquaintance who gets into trouble.

Okay, dear reader(s), you know me well enough to know that my review of The Equalizer can be summed up in two words: HELL YEAH! First there's Denzel Washington. Now, here's the thing about a movie that has Denzel Washington: it really doesn't need anything else. Chloe Grace Moretz, Bill Pullman, and my best gal Melissa Leo, among others, have a cup of coffee in the film, and Marton Csokas makes an able foil, but when push comes to shove it's Denzel's movie to carry and, as always, carry it he does. The man is on screen for nearly all of the prohibitive two-hours-plus runtime, and he is riveting, seamlessly dialing between "regular guy" mode and "stone cold killer" mode.

The oft-repeated vengeance tale is nothing new, but thanks to Washington's commanding lead and plenty of YESSSSSSS! moments, it doesn't seem that long...which is not to say it couldn't have been trimmed a bit without suffering for it, either. There are some...erm...interesting kills, and the language is pretty rough at times, but nothing out of the ordinary for your average R-rated flick. If I had one complaint, it's that at times the direction seems amateurish, too much exaggerated slow-mo, but it's a petty gripe about what's otherwise an exceedingly entertaining film.

The Equalizer clocks in at 131 minutes and is rated R for "strong bloody violence and language throughout, including some sexual references."

It may not be a perfect movie, but it sure is a perfect movie for me. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The

Equalizer gets eight.

Until next time...

 .































Hell. Yeah.

Cindy Prascik's Review of A Walk Among the Tombstones

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for my first double-header in awhile. Before a final screening of summer's most fun flick, Guardians of the Galaxy, I had a look at Liam Neeson's latest, A Walk Among the Tombstones.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

An ex-cop working as an unlicensed P.I. hunts a woman's killers.

A Walk Among the Tombstones looks a lot like an old TV cop show. It's set against the harshest, ugliest parts of New York, in that gloomy bit of the year when the leaves have dropped but the snow hasn't yet fallen. Though the lack of color sets an appropriately morose tone, the movie is not without its lighter moments, most of which hit the right mark, lifting the mood without derailing it.

Liam Neeson does what Liam Neeson does best, ensuring you leave the theatre thinking you never, EVER want to face a crisis without him. The solid supporting cast features Downton Abbey heartthrob Dan Stevens in a VERY different role from Matthew Crawley, Sebastian Roche (who will ever be Law & Order's C-Square to me!), and the precocious Brian "Astro" Bradley. The story has enough twists and turns to keep you interested, without being so long or overly complicated that it bogs down.

A Walk Among the Tombstones clocks in at 113 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, disturbing images, language, and brief nudity." It may not be especially memorable, but it's an entertaining, well-crafted thriller that easily holds your attention.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, A Walk Among the Tombstones gets seven.

Until next time.

Where's Carson when ya need him??

MOVIE REVIEW: TUSK

An irreverent American podcaster interviews a Canadian adventurer whose wild tale of survival at sea masks sinister intentions in this twisted horror comedy from writer/director Kevin Smith (Clerks, Red State). Wallace (Justin Long) and Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) are the wisecracking co-hosts of "The Not-See Party", a popular podcast focused on bizarre viral videos and humorous interviews with the internet-famous. When Wallace ventures to Canada for an interview that falls through at the last minute, he stops at a local bar for a drink and finds a flyer posted by an old adventurer (Michael Parks) who seeks to share his stories with anyone who will listen.  Meanwhile, as Teddy and Wallace's girlfriend venture north to investigate his sudden disappearance, the old man subjects his terrified guest to a bizarre medical procedure that will transform more than just his perception of one of the sea's most majestic creatures. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Kevin Smith

Cast: Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, Michael Parks, Genesis Rodriguez

Release Date: Sep 19, 2014

Rated R for Sexual Content, Language, Gore and Some Disturbing Violence

Runtime: 1 hr. 41 min.

Genres: Horror

Review:

Kevin Smith is a hit or miss director for me.  Even his earlier films like Clerks, Mall Rats or Chasing Amy never really connected with me, I found them amusing but never found out what made Smith a name director.  Dogma is probably my favorite film from Smith with his recent foray into horror, Red State, being his worse film.  So I was a bit ambivalent when I heard about his 2^nd horror film, Tusk, but I was rather intrigued by the insane concept.  The film is rather odd but surprisingly straightforward as well.  Some have compared it to the Human Centipede which I think is more than a bit off because it’s kind of its own creature, pun intended.  The best thing about Tusk is that it’s actually funny.  Smith skewers plenty of classic horror tropes, showcasing how ridiculous some of the situations are by taking it to the most extreme degree.  The cast is rather impressive, including a surprise appearance by a well known actor.  Justin Long is appropriately douchey so when karma comes his way, you don’t feel an ounce of sympathy.  Michael Parks is clearly having a great time in a very nutty role.  Genesis Rodriguez and Haley Joel Osment are noteworthy in their ability to play it straight while Smith shoots varying levels of insanity at them.  Tusk is definitely Kevin Smith’s weirdest film but it’s also one of his better efforts as well.

B+ 

Cindy Prascik's Review of No Good Deed

Dearest Blog, yesterday afternoon it was off to the pictures for the thriller No Good Deed.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Home alone on a dark and stormy night, a woman and her two young children are terrorized by an intruder.

Readers, I gotta be straight with ya: I find leads Idris Elba and Taraji P. Henson to be two of the most beautiful people in the world. I can't decide if I liked this movie more than it deserved, because I got to look at them for 90 minutes, or if I liked it less than it deserved, because I was distracted by their excessive good looks. At any rate...


No Good Deed is a decent thriller that does a nice job of maintaining suspense throughout. If the tricks are cheap, they're also effective; I jumped in my seat a fair few times. It's got kind of a twist on a twist, so, if you see the first bit coming (I did), it may still take you by surprise. Hensen is perfect, terrified (especially for her children), but no simpering damsel in distress.

Elba plays the psycho baddie with relish, and every frame seems specifically designed to make him look larger (he's 6'3" to Henson's 5'5") and more menacing. Paul Haslinger's comically melodramatic score sets the right tone, even if it's a bit much at times.

No Good Deed clocks in at a quick 84 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of violence, menace, terror, and for language."

A perfect fit between Summer Blockbuster Season and Awards Season, No Good Deed is worth your ten bucks, but you'll likely have forgotten it ever existed by next year at this time.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, No Good Deed gets five and a half.

Until next time...

Thank you, but I've already bought my Girl Scout cookies!

6 Degrees of Separation Blogathon

Since there’s a cinematic dead spot in my movie calendar right I accepted a challenge from Tanner Jones (The Average Critic) to participate in the 6 Degrees of Separation Blogathon. 

Like Tanner, this is my first ever blogathon but that’s probably due to my general laziness….

To complete the challenge, I must figure out a way to connect Kaya Scodelario to Oscar Issac. 

In essence, it’s a cinematic version of 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon.

While I’ve seen these actors, I can’t say I’m terribly familiar with either, so it took me a bit to find the connection

So without further adieu let’s begin….

Kaya Scodelario was in Clash of the Titans with….

 

 

Luke Evans who was in The Raven with….

  

John Cusack who was in the Paperboy with…

Scott Glenn who was in Sucker Punch with… 

 Oscar Isaac!!!

 

 Please hold your applause.....just kidding feel free to shower me with your love....

I now challenge Maynard over at Maynard's Horror Movie Diary to connect Oscar Isaac with Shannyn Sossamon….

MOVIE REVIEW: AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

Miles of twisting catacombs lie beneath the streets of Paris, the eternal home to countless souls. When a team of explorers ventures into the uncharted maze of bones, they uncover the dark secret that lies within this city of the dead. A journey into madness and terror, As Above, So Below reaches deep into the human psyche to reveal the personal demons that come back to haunt us all.

Director: John E. Dowdle 

Cast: Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge.

Release Date: Aug 29, 2014

Rated R 

Runtime: 1 hr. 0 min. 

Genres: Documentary, Suspense/Thriller 

Review:

Being a fan of the horror genre can be hard from time to time.  Sure you do get the occasional surprise but there’s a lot of garbage out there as well.  It’s a common problem with films that can be made on the cheap.  Add to it the “found footage” subgenre and you’ll have to deal with a lot of subpar films.  As Above, So Below is a rather frustrating film because it does have an interesting premise and it could of turned into a rather impressive Dante’s Inferno type film.  Sadly, it only touches on its potential, it randomly hits some solid notes especially in its frenetic finale but never maintains its.  Add to it that you don’t care about any of the character especially when they make the stupidest decisions possible at evey turn.  As Above, So Below is one of those horror films that loses any semblance of horror so quickly that it becomes a laughfest as you watch idiotic characters do idiotic things, thankfully it’s over quickly.

D

MOVIE REVIEW: FRANK MILLER’S SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR

Robert Rodriguez teams with Frank Miller to direct this follow-up to Sin City from a script by Miller and William Monahan based on preexisting stories along with new ones written for the big screen. Josh Brolin stars in the adaptation of the comic miniseries (Sin City: A Dame to Kill For), which tells the backstory of Clive Owen's Dwight character as he is wrapped up in the thralls of femme fatale, Ava Eva Green. Also new to the series is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays Johnny, a mysterious gambler set on taking down his sworn enemy in a high-stakes game of life and death.  Mickey Rourke, Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba, and Jaime King return for the Dimension Films release, with Jamie Chung and Dennis Haysbert stepping into roles left by Devon Aoki and the late Michael Clarke Duncan. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Frank Miller, Robert Rodriguez 

Cast: Josh Brolin, Mickey Rourke, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Eva Green, Jessica Alba.

Rated R for pervasive violence, sex, nudity, smoking, and drugs

Release Date: Aug 22, 2014

Runtime: 102 min

Genres: Crime Thriller, Post-Noir (Modern Noir), Crime

Review:

The follow up to Sin City from Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez goes well with its predecessor even if it’s lost a bit of its bite this go around.  The style, violence and attitude carry over keeping the film visually interesting but kind of a mixed bag in terms of a story.  The good part of the film involves anything that contains Mickey Rourke who slips back into Marv’s skin with incredible ease and the always impressive Eva Green.  Green has a second Frank Miller sequel she’s single handedly props up.  Eva is always the most interesting person on screen as chews up scenery as the man eating black widow.  It’s an over the top performance but hints of subtly showcasing Green’s talent and a fair amount of self awareness.  She knows exactly what kind of film this is and what the directors are aiming for, as a result she knocks it out of the park.  On the opposite end of the spectrum is Jessica Alba who misses the mark badly.  Even worse, she seems totally unaware about how badly she’s doing.  Rourke is great but his role is greatly reduced here since he’s more of a supporting player for Josh Brolin who’s surprisingly unmemorable and bland.  Dennis Haysbert fills in capably for the late Michael Clarke Duncan while Jamie Chung is fairly distracting filling in for Devon Aoki for some reason, it might be obnoxious amount of make up they piled on her.   The biggest disappointment is Joseph Gordon-Levitt and it has nothing to do with his performance which is fine.  The problem is that his entire segment and character is utterly pointless.  It makes the entire film feel longer than it actually is, making it a bit of a slog even for fans of the series. 

C+

Cindy Prascik's Review of The November Man

Dearest Blog, thanks to an early dismissal by my generous employer, I was able to get out to the movies yesterday afternoon. On my agenda, Pierce Brosnan's poor man's Bond, The November Man.

A retired CIA operative returns to action and finds himself pitted against his former pupil.

Well, dear reader(s), I think The November Man may be the most unbelievable movie I've seen all summer, and that includes the one with the gun-toting raccoon. Comparisons to the Bond franchise are inevitable, especially with Brosnan in the lead, but, for me, there's always a wink-wink, nudge-nudge aspect to James Bond movies. Sure...the guy is impossibly slick and has impossibly advanced tools and impossibly beautiful women, and gets himself into and out of impossibly impossible situations, but the movies seem self-aware. This one could have used a bit of self awareness, but that's not to say I didn't enjoy it.

Brosnan is still quite the dashing heartthrob. He's 61 now, so of course Hollywood has to offer some young meat in the form of one Luke Bracey, of whom I'd never heard until a trailer for The Best of Me ran immediately prior to November Man. I'd no more than thought, "Bet that dude is cornering the market on 'hot guy' roles," and...viola! Brosnan and Bracey have zero chemistry onscreen, and I wasn't buying the years of history between them for one minute. (Note: I mean "chemistry" in a non-romantic sense, although they don't make a very nice couple, either. I'd rather Pierce Brosnan and Andrew Garfield, myself.) Brosnan fares better with female lead Olga Kurylenko, but only just.

Mostly I think the writing is so flat that there's not much any actors could have done with it, but, again...that's not to say I didn't enjoy it.

The November Man is action packed, and no tip-toeing around trying to secure a PG13 rating either.

The series of events that keeps this movie going is about as remarkable as Gravity (a.k.a. "Murphy's Law"), but the movie is fun and not overlong, so it's not hard to forgive its other shortcomings.

The November Man runs 108 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence including a sexual assault, language, sexuality/nudity, and brief drug use." It's not a movie that'll change your life or that you'll remember forever, but for a late-August holiday weekend...eh...I'm alright with that.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The November Man gets six.

Until next time...

 I regret nothing.

The Losers – A retrospective from 4 perspectives

The Losers is one of those odd films that came and went from the big screen quickly and quietly.  

When you look back it, it boast one hellva impressive cast the majority of which have gone on to much bigger success.

It’s an oddity that has brought together 4 movie bloggers who’ve known each other for years across oceans, continents and the interwebs …..

Lets start off with my rerun review of The Losers....

"My original review of The Losers gave it a B- which should probably have been closer to a C or C+.  I honestly can’t contest any of the myriad of issues the film, Jason Patric, has or it’s unfortunate release date that placed it near a better film with roughly the same concept.  Still, there’s something about this silly movie that makes it utterly watchable.  Easiest answer is the cast.  Jeffery Dean Morgan and Zoe Saldana have some great chemistry together each bringing the right amount of cool to the characters.  I’m still a tad bit perplexed that Jeffery Dean Morgan isn’t more of a star, he’s got a gruff kind of charm to him that translates well on screen.  Saldana meanwhile seems to have just resigned herself to working behind makeup or via motion capture.  Personally I think with the right material she could be an incredible action star which is kind of impressive since she probably weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet.  Chris Evans may not be believable as a computer hacker but the guy has always had some great comedic timing.  I always kind of thought Evans was destined for superstardom ever since Not Another Teen Movie so it’s fun to look back before he hit it big with the Captain America role.  Round out the cast with Idris Elba, who probably should have been the actual villain instead of Patrick, and you have a film filled with lots of solid actors making a subpar film watchable in spite of itself.

C+"

Next up is Maynard from Horror Movie Diary

http://www.horrormoviediary.net/

"At minute 36, this is what two of the main characters say to each other:

"This is a classic." - "Yeah, this is a classic piece of shit."

Okay, they're actually talking about a car, and no, I don't think that "The Losers" is a classic piece of shit, but... *sigh* IMHO it's definitely a classic piece of lame, lousy, loserish cookie-cutter action rubbish.

Based on the DC comic book series of the same name (that I obviously have never heard of before), "The Losers" follows a group of black-ops mercenaries who plan their revenge on their former employers who betrayed them and set them up for death. Sounds like a lot like "The A-Team", huh? Well, actually it's more like "Ronin" meets "The Expendables", and of course, the original 1970s "Losers" comics were created long before the "A-Team" TV series.

Nevertheless, the box office failure of "The Losers" (Ha Ha!) can definitely be blamed on a) Joe Carnahan's 2010 feature adaptation of "The A-Team" which was released shortly after, as well as to b) the still-massive popularity of the "A-Team" brand. Even though it performed below expectations, "The A-Team" (which was released in June 2010) earned about 180 millions world wide (Domestic: 77 millions), while "The Losers" earned only about 29 millions worldwide (Domestic: 23 millions).

I unexpectedly enjoyed the hell out of "The A-Team" and I consider it one of the better action-related films of the last few years - but "The Losers" annoyed the crap outta me. My goodness, now this was really poor. I already gave up after the opening: oh-so-tough-and-cool guys playing silly card games and dropping mom jokes, Ram Jam's "Black Betty" (what an original song choice... yawn), a helicopter full of kids explodes (I don't like kids), a burning Teddy bear (boo hoo), cock-fighting etc. Director Sylvain White ("I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer") just can't decide between fun popcorn movie, grim revenge thriller, over-the-top comic-book insanity or action-drama . Tone and script are all over the place. The characters aren't likable at all...

...and that's just the first 15 minutes.

I have no idea how I made it through the goddamn rest. No idea how I survived Jason Patric ("The Lost Boys") as one of the worst and most unbearable movie villains in history, or Chris Evans ("Captain America") as unbelievably unfunny prankster, saying lines like "These Hot Dogs are delicious!" in a way as if he has never eaten a Hot Dog before. There's tiring amounts of oh-so-cool slow-motion sequences, oh-so-comic-book-like overlaid text and other annoying, unnecessary gimmicks that seem to be in the film only to distract the viewer, so that he doesn't realize how stupid the whole thing it is. There's also hardly any tension, hardly any atmosphere, way too many super-dull dialogue scenes, some really bad choices of music (I fucking hate Journey), the action scenes are rather uninspired and the screenplay is a fucking mess. There is no flow, no coherence. Just a succession of scenes strung together in a... let's say, quite haphazard manner.

Hottie Zoë Saldana and the cool-as-always Idris Elba deliver solid performances, same for Jeffrey Dean Morgan, though I think he's miscast and not exactly the best choice for this role. A few of the more action-packed scenes were quite enjoyable (like the one with the helicopter or the rather diverting finale) and although I hated Jason Patric's character, I chuckled at him saying "It's like giving a handgun to a six-year-old - you don't know how it's gonna end, but you're pretty sure it's gonna make the papers."

Yet, overall, this was sooo not my cup of tea. "The Losers" lost me early on and I spent the majority of its run time in a state of annoyment."

Up next is Karina Bamber

http://karina-mundanerambling.blogspot.com/

"The Losers appeared on our screens in the summer of 2010 and although it did not set the Box Office on fire it has been regular in my 90min DVD rotation.  This is probably a backhanded comment when you learn what else is in the rotation.

I have been called out as a lazy blogger in the past and it is a fair statement.  The depth of my laziness runs much deeper than that as I am also a ridiculously lazy film viewer too. This is why a film like The Losers gets so much attention from me.

PLOT:  After a helicopter full of children are killed during a covert mission in Bolivia “The Losers” led by Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s Clay try to find the Max, (Jason Patric) the man who is responsible for their deaths.  Their mission is funded by the mysterious Aisha (Zoe Saldana) who also wants to kill Max.  The group tracks Max down in LA as he is about to buy four snukes from a group of terrorists.  END PLOT

The Losers is based on a set of graphic novels written by Andy Diggle which I read prior to seeing the film.  The novels are thoroughly entertaining and should have easily made the jump from book to screen especially when Peter Berg, a favourite of mine, is involved.  Alas, something didn’t quite work out.

The original novels were for adults.  There was bad language, blood, humour, death and sex.  The films were watered down to a 12A and lost most of the key ingredients which would have set it apart from The A Team which was also released that summer.  The 12A rating does the film no favours and the attempts to make the characters rating friendly make them almost unrecognisable – there is a throwaway line about Aisha’s childhood ear collection but this ear collection is actually a big part of Aisha’s dangerous and let’s face it, slightly deranged, character.

All of the characters are underdeveloped but do tick off the list of stereotypes required to make an ensemble action flick – we have the leader (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), the love interest (Zoe Saldana), the computer geek (Chris Evans), the driver/MacGyver (Columbus Short), the silent sniper (Oscar Jaenada) and the betrayer (Idris Elba).  The characters may be weak but the cast do have chemistry which helps to cover over the flaws.

Any film with Chris Evans will draw me in but in 2010 there was interest in Jeffrey Dean Morgan who was still on a high after his brilliant performance as The Comedian in Watchmen and we must not forget his tenure as “parent of the year” John Winchester.  It has not gone unnoticed that Morgan’s career has stalled and some of the supporting cast have gone on to become major A-List success.

Unfortunately one thing the chemistry of the cast could not hide was the awful Max (Jason Patric).  Max’s danger came from his calculating intelligence but Jason Patric overacted like crazy and turned Max into a cartoon character.  Patric appeared to be aiming for confident business villain but it was all a bit handbags at dawn.

Max’s evil deeds include shooting an umbrella lady in the head and laughing at a really short man but his main plot thread involves buying four snukes from terrorists for a shitload of money and a Ducati.  I could be staring down the barrel of a snuke or “giant vibrating Easter Egg from hell” and I still couldn’t take my impending death seriously.  On paper snukes may seem more original than nuclear or chemical weapons but on the big screen it simply doesn’t work.  It doesn’t help that “Four Snukes and a Ducati” sounds more threatening as the latest hipster band than the terms of an illegal arms deal.

The action is standard fare but appropriate for the rating.  Instead of seeing the burning bodies of twenty kidnapped children we see a singed bear.  This pretty much sums up the film.  It was a wasted opportunity.

I know The Losers is an average film, and worse than that, it is a poor adaptation of a legitimately good set of graphic novels.  There will be those who see the film as a mess that more often than not misses the mark and I won’t be able to launch into a staunch defence of The Losers as I agree with them.  

On its own merits The Losers gets 5/10.

BUT

As mentioned above I can be a very lazy film viewer especially when it comes to choosing a DVD.  I don’t apologise for picking generic 90min films when I have had a hard day.  We all do it.  The Losers fits that bill perfectly which is why I thank it for being familiar, comforting and for not requiring too much attention or effort.  On the basis of me having a bad Tuesday The Losers gets 8/10."

Last but definitely not least Cindy Prascik:

http://hufflepuff11.tumblr.com

"Dearest Blog, with this entry I shall claim membership in one of the world's most exclusive clubs: People Who Love the Losers.

Spoiler level here will be off the charts, because you've had four years to catch up with this. If you haven’t seen it yet, read no more until you have! (But, seriously, what are you waiting for??)

After being framed for mass murder in Bolivia, an elite Special Forces team hooks up with a seductive con artist to clear their names and get back home to the U.S.

Dear reader(s), you know me well, do you not? I like testosterone-fueled action flicks. Bonus points if they're based on comic books. Double bonus points if they make me laugh, too. The Losers ticks all the boxes for me.

Let's start with this gifted and gorgeous cast, shall we? The leader of our merry band of misfits is Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). Haunted by betrayal and the resulting loss of young life, he is single-mindedly bent on revenge against Max, the mysterious man who set up his team. Roque (the dashing Idris Elba) is a headstrong demolitions expert who often questions Clay's leadership. Communications specialist Jensen (Chris Evans) and transportation coordinator Pooch (Columbus Short) trade insults and provide the movie's best comic relief. Finally, there's Cougar (Ơscar Jaenada), a sniper whose silent charm nearly steals the whole show. Aisha (the glorious and perfect Zoe Saldana) is a local woman who offers her assistance to the team...but with her own agenda, of course. The cast is rounded out by an amusingly deadpan Jason Patrick as Max, and Holt McCallany as Max' clueless right-hand man, Wade.

The Losers features non-stop action from the outset. There's a fair bit of carnage, but the tone is mostly light...quite an achievement considering the movie opens with 25 kids getting blown up. An early hotel-room fight between Morgan and Saldana is hotter than most sex scenes. There's a nice comic feel to the film, with beginning and ending credits done in comic book-style art, and changes of venue announced in big, sweeping lettering. The movie keeps viewers on the edge of their seats with plenty of twists, turns, and double-crosses, and, at a quick 97 minutes, it's smart enough not to wear out its welcome. Three specifics I feel are noteworthy in the annals of movie history: Wade's spectacular death by airplane engine, Zoe Saldana wielding a bazooka (*swoon*), and Chris Evans showboating his way through an a capella version of Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. Finally, The Losers reiterates the age-old movie message that nothing--and I mean NOTHING--good ever happens around those dockside container yards.

The Losers clocks in at 97 minutes, and is rated PG13 for "sequences of intense action and violence, a scene of sensuality, and language."

I took a peek at my original Losers review after writing this one. While I hadn't yet adopted the Weasley rating system at that time, I hit pretty much all the same notes as this one, minus the spoilers. In 2014, of a possible nine Weasleys, I'm pleased to give The Losers eight. It's a wild ride with an eminently likable cast and plenty of laughs along the way, and I remain so, so sorry there isn't a Losers 2 on the horizon.

Until next time...GO PETUNIAS!

Ready for Black Friday at Wal-Mart!!

Well there you have it, a look back at a so so movie with some great stars!

Until the next cosmic occurrence brings us together….. 

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Expendables 3

 

 

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for something that gets me as excited as landing on The Nice List come Christmas Eve: a new Expendables movie.

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish, mostly nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Barney adds some fresh faces to his team, in hopes of bringing down an old foe.

Reader(s), let's just get this out of the way: I think the Expendables franchise is the most awesomely awesome awesome in the history of awesome. I didn't love the second installment *quite* as well as the first--it felt a lot like throwing more names at the screen just to see what stuck--and trailers led me to fear the new one might be more of the same. While part three definitely does offer an expanded array of ass-kickers, I am happy to declare it the best of the franchise (so far).

Expendables 3 is non-stop action, spelled with brief bits of Feelings and quick frames of Other Things That Make Badasses Cool, such as riding motorcycles and doing shots. The Expendables get that the action is probably why you came, though, and they see to it you get your money's worth.
Daring vehicular stunts, massive weapons, and nicely-choreographed hand-to-hand combat occupy most of the screen time. As always, the cast is a who's who of action stars: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Wesley Snipes, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Jet Li. Throw in Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Antonio Banderas, and Harrison Ford for good measure, and you've got yourself quite the crew.

The pitfall of a cast this size is that there's never quite enough of THAT ONE GUY you want to see more of (in my case, Statham, always), but the silver lining is that Harrison Ford is...well...Harrison Ford, and Banderas, in top comic form, completely steals the show. The young'uns are the most forgettable batch of low-watt never-will-bes this side of a Twilight movie--and I certainly could have done without the addition of a female Expendable--but the big guns thankfully have enough star power to go around. Though there was quite a fuss about keeping this installment tame enough for a PG13 rating (as opposed to the Rs earned by the first two Expendables flicks), the film doesn't suffer for it. Quite honestly, I can't imagine a more fun time at the movies.

The Expendables 3 clocks in at 126 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence including intense sustained gun battles and fight scenes, and for language."

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Expendables 3 gets eight. Oh, and Sly, dahhhling, you don't have to be 30 years younger to come knockin' on MY door.

Until next time..

 Shut up and take my money!