Cindy Prascik's Review of Murder Mystery

Having zero interest in sleeping through the latest Men in Black installment, this weekend I enjoyed another double-shot of Rocketman at the cinema while turning to Netflix for something new. On the docket, the suspenseful comedy Murder Mystery.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Americans on a belated honeymoon accept an invitation from a mysterious stranger, only to find themselves at the center of a murder mystery.

Of late, Netflix originals have done a fine job of competing with the big studios. It comes as something of a surprise, then, that Murder Mystery feels more like an old-school network Movie of the Week.

Murder Mystery moves quickly through a by-the-numbers, "Clue"-like plot. It's amusing enough, and a stable of reasonably-famous faces keeps it from feeling *too* low-rent, despite the fact there's very little mystery in the murder. None of the leads plays against type: Jennifer Aniston is the girl-next-door, Adam Sandler her over-earnest husband, and Luke Evans the dashing and mysterious stranger. Netflix won't be hanging its hat on this one come awards season, but it's decent fun nonetheless.

Murder Mystery clocks in at 97 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence/bloody images, crude sexual content, and language."

Murder Mystery is unmemorable, but if you're looking to shut off your brain with a bit of entertainment that doesn't challenge, it's just the ticket. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Murder Mystery gets five.

Fangirl points: Luke Evans! Gemma Arterton!

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of The Foreigner & Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a double-bill of The Foreigner and Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on the docket: Jackie Chan seeks revenge in The Foreigner.

A grieving father goes after the individuals responsible for a terrorist bombing that claimed the life of his young daughter.

The Foreigner is one of those movies that feels like it should be much more entertaining than it is. A solid if oft-told story, the picture boasts a well-loved lead and a suspenseful plot, with fierce action sequences that will set you on the edge of your seat. Sadly, all of the above is weighed down by a plodding tempo that makes the movie seem much longer than it is. Jackie Chan is solid in the lead, but the film gives you at least its first half to ponder how this humble restaurant owner got such...erm...Jackie Chan-like skills, with no real payout for your wait; the answer is exactly what you'll know it was going to be if you've ever watched an action/revenge movie before. When everything hits the fan, Pierce Brosnan is perfect as the blustering minister who WON'T HAVE IT!!...but where was he going with that accent? The convoluted plot would feel almost comical at times if not for Chan wearing his very best Emmett Kelly face for the duration; in fact, I think I really might have hated this one but for how much sympathy he earned for his character.

The Foreigner runs 114 minutes and is rated R for "violence, language, and some sexual material."

The Foreigner earns a half-Weasley bonus for (briefly) featuring Harry Potter's Cho Chang, Katie Leung, but gets a full demerit for getting Hot Blooded into my head.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Foreigner gets four and a half.

Next up: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

The relationships among a psychologist, his wife, and a student give birth to our most beloved female superhero.

Well, dear reader(s), it feels like quite the privilege to be a girl writing in a time when I get to ask which is the better of this year's two Wonder Woman films. I mean, the answer is unequivocally "the other one," but still...

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women has all the pieces of a great story, so--especially riding 2017's wave of Wonder Woman mania--it should have been a can't-miss. Unfortunately, it goes foul by sensationalizing the sexual aspects of the story, resulting in an uncomfortable and unsatisfying finished product.

Wonder Women's chief positives are in its leads; Luke Evans and especially Rebecca Hall are terrific. Bella Heathcote is a bit of a weak link, and prominent enough that you'll feel it at every turn, but two out of three isn't so bad, I guess. The film has some genuinely touching moments as well as some funny ones, and it's told in such a way that it keeps moving even when there's not a lot to tell.

Ultimately, though, WW is just too lurid in its presentation to be taken seriously. When a roomful of adults is overcome by the giggles at every erotic turn, that's a sure-fire sign that, as the Internet is so fond of saying: "You're doing it wrong." Wonder Women sincerely attempts to sell its titular family as "normal," but does so with so little finesse that it only comes across as tawdry, even to someone (like myself) who wouldn't normally bat an eye. Amusingly, the movie even takes a stab at explaining Wonder Woman's skimpy costume, but--just a year removed from Batman v. Superman (where you can bet it wasn't Batman or Superman who featured in a gratuitous crotch shot)--it rings pretty hollow.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women clocks in at 108 minutes and is rated R for "strong sexual content, including brief graphic images, and language."

Sadly, Professor Marston and the Wonder Women is a coulda-shoulda-mighta been great picture that falls well short of even memorable.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Professor Marston and the Wonder Women gets four.

Fangirl points: It's always a delight to hear Benny Goodman's Sing Sing Sing in glorious surround-sound!

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) directed this live-action retelling of the Disney animated classic from 1991. As before, this fairy tale centers on a young woman named Belle (Emma Watson), who is forced to live in an enchanted castle with a prince who is cursed to look like a hideous Beast (Dan Stevens). In time, the pair fall in love as Belle learns to see the good man hiding behind the Beast's monstrous exterior. The film co-stars Luke Evans as Gaston, Ewan McGregor as Lumière, Emma Thompson as Mrs. Potts, Ian McKellen as Cosgworth, Kevin Kline as Belle's father, and Josh Gad as Gaston's sidekick LeFou. ~ Jack Rodgers, Rovi

Director: Bill Condon

Cast: Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans, Josh Gad, Ewan McGregor

Release Date: Mar 17, 2017

Rated PG for Peril, Frightening Images and Some Action Violence

Runtime: 2 hr. 9 min.

Genres: Family, Music/Performing Arts, Romance, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

The live action Beauty and The Beast hits all the right notes both figuratively and literally but it still feels like it’s missing something.  Bill Condon does a fine job of directing the film delivering lavish musical numbers and a cornucopia of visual treats.  His cast is excellent with Emma Watson sliding into the Belle role with great easy.  Her voice isn’t quiet as strong as the role needs it to be but she’s still a great choice for the role.  Dan Stevens is solid if uninspired as the Beast which is a shame considering he’s a strong actor.  It doesn’t help that the CGI on the Beast is thoroughly unconvincing.  The rest of the CGI characters are well done which makes the misstep on one of the main characters all the more puzzling.  Ewan McGregor stands our as Lumière as does Emma Thompson.  As for the rest of the live action cast, Luke Evans and Josh Gad make for a great duo which is helped by the fact that they are clearly have a great time.  All in all, the live action version of the film is strong across the board even though it could have used a bit of a trim here there.  Unfortunately, it never really finds itself and it really makes you want to revisit the original animated film.

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Beauty and the Beast

Dearest Blog: Today it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the live-action remake of Disney's classic, Beauty and the Beast.

 

Spoiler level here will be...oh, who am I kidding? Everybody knows how this turns out.

 

A selfish prince is turned into a hideous beast by a curse that can only be lifted by his learning to love and be loved.

 

Dear Reader(s), other than Pirates of the Caribbean and that awesome old Robin Hood cartoon, I'm not really a Disney super-fan. If you want to know how the current imagining of Beauty and the Beast stacks up against the much-loved animated version (which I failed to revisit, despite my best intentions), you're going to have to look elsewhere. That out of the way...

 

The new Beauty and the Beast gets just about everything right. Emma Watson is a delight in the lead. She hasn't got the strongest singing voice, but she's gifted with numbers that aren't much beyond your average shower performer, getting by on her natural charm, beauty, and ever-growing acting chops. As for the Beast, well, casting a handsome devil like Dan Stevens in a role where you hardly see his face has to be a black mark on a film's permanent record, but Stevens' charisma is never hidden by his beastly facade. The cast's true gems are in its supporting players. Luke Evans, Josh Gad, and the divine Audra McDonald use their musical theater cred to steal the show, and the number "Gaston" (featuring Evans and Gad) is easily the highlight of the picture. Some interior scenes are a bit too dark (a by-product of seeing a 3D product in 2D), but the movie's glorious sets are otherwise on full, stunning display. Costumes are also top notch. Seeing Emma in that iconic yellow dress tugged at even my Grinch-sized heart. For my money, the movie's only serious flaws are bland tunes (I daresay most don't share that opinion) and the fact it could use about a 20-minute trim, but a good--if predictable--story, fun action, and solid humor more than compensate for these minor quibbles.

 

Disney's Beauty and the Beast runs 129 minutes and is rated PG for "some action violence, peril, and frightening images."

 

The live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast is magic for old and new fans alike. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Beauty and the Beast gets seven and a half.

 

Fangirl points: The Goddess Audra! My beloved Luke Evans!

 

Until next time... 

 

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of The Girl on the Train & The Birth of a Nation

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the buzzkill double-bill of The Girl on the Train and The Birth of a Nation. 

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. First on the docket: The Girl on the Train. An unhappy divorcee makes up stories about the people she sees on her daily commute, then becomes entangled in the case when one of them goes missing. 

 

The Girl on the Train is such a pedestrian mystery that, never having been anywhere near the novel, it took me approximately 23 minutes to clock exactly how it was going to play out...and that was far from my final check of the time, believe me. 

 

Emily Blunt plays the titular girl as a sloppy, irritating drunk, and the supporting characters are so odious it's impossible to care what happens to any of them. (Though I'd forgive Luke Evans for pretty much anything once he started peeling off those clothes.) 

 

A few laughable bits--including a full-on Cameron Frye moment in a gallery--spell a miserable whole that plods along with varying versions of events. Who's telling the truth? Who's lying? 

 

You'll stop caring long before this mess crawls to its predictable finish. About the only things The Girl on the Train has to recommend it are a properly menacing score by Danny Elfman and a couple frames of Evans' glorious bod. 

 

The Girl on the Train runs an excruciating 112 minutes and is rated R for "violence, sexual content, language, and nudity." The Girl on the Train is a slow, dull exercise that made me want to throw myself on the tracks. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Girl on the Train gets four. 

Fangirl points: Luke Evans. Luke Evans' abs. Luke Evans' bottom. 

 

Also, a girl in a Damned shirt...yay! Next up: The Birth of a Nation. The true story of Nat Turner, a slave and preacher who orchestrated a rebellion in 1831. 

 

The Birth of a Nation is difficult to watch, and more than once I had to look away from the brutality and abuse. Performances are fantastic across the board, with Nate Parker and Aja Naomi King outstanding in the leads, and Armie Hammer his usual reliable self in an important supporting role. 

 

Turner's Christian faith is central to the story, but the movie also exposes the contradictory nature of the Bible and those who presume to speak for their gods. 

 

The subject matter is unpleasant enough to make the film feel much longer than it is; for the duration I kept thinking the last thing we really need right now is yet another reminder of how horrible people can be to one another. 

 

Only afterward did it occur to me, maybe exactly what we need right now is a reminder of what happens when people are encouraged to treat others as less than themselves. 

 

The Birth of a Nation clocks in at an even two hours and is rated R for "disturbing violent content and some brief nudity." The Birth of a Nation is a well-acted picture with a timely, important message, but, sadly, none of that makes it a truly great movie. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Birth of a Nation gets five. .

 

 Fangirl points: The aforementioned Armie Hammer. Mark Boone Junior (Bobby Elvis)! 

 

Until next time... 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN

In the thriller, Rachel (Blunt), who is devastated by her recent divorce, spends her daily commute fantasizing about the seemingly perfect couple who live in a house that her train passes every day, until one morning she sees something shocking happen there and becomes entangled in the mystery that unfolds. Based on Paula Hawkins’ bestselling novel, The Girl on the Train is adapted for the screen by Erin Cressida Wilson and Taylor. The film’s executive producers are Jared LeBoff and Celia Costas, and it will be released by Universal Pictures.

Director: Tate Taylor

Cast: Emily Blunt, Rebecca Ferguson, Haley Bennett, Justin Theroux, Luke Evans

Release Date: Oct 07, 2016

Rated R for violence, sexual content, language and nudity

Genres: Suspense/Thriller

Review:

Is it possible to make an interesting movie with a cast of characters who are all unlikable and fairly terrible?  The Girl on the Train tries really hard to pull it off and has a decent amount of success even if the “mind blowing” twist is telegraphed fairly early on.  Tate Taylor is clearly trying to emulate David Fincher’s Gone Girl but he’s not as talented a filmmaker to make it work.  As is, the film is a surprisingly engrossing tale of bad people doing bad things repeatedly.  Taylor’s real talent is getting some truly impressive performances out of his cast especially Emily Blunt.  Blunt is incredibly impressive throughout with multiple scenes set up to showcase her acting chops.  Haley Bennett, who looks distractingly like a Jennifer Lawrence clone, is just solid even though her character feels unwritten.  It’s a shame because the character seems to be most interesting of the group.  The Girl on the Train is trying it’s hardest to be some special but it never quite gets there.

B-

MOVIE REVIEW: THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES

Peter Jackson takes cues from the appendices of The Lord of the Rings to expand New Line Cinema's Hobbit adaptation with this third film completing the epic tale of Bilbo Baggins, as played by Martin Freeman. The story opens to find the vengeful dragon Smaug (voice of Benedict Cumberbatch) decimating the peaceful hamlet of Laketown as Bilbo, Thorin (Richard Armitage) and the rest of the dwarves lay claim to the Lonely Mountain. But their celebration is short-lived as Thorin grows obsessed with finding the Arkenstone. Meanwhile, Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) Elrond (Hugo Weaving) and Saruman (Christopher Lee) battle the Nazgul in an attempt to free Gandalf (Ian McKellen), and get some unexpected help from eccentric wizard Radagast (Sylvester McCoy). Unfortunately for all involved the struggle has only just begun, because as armies of dwarves, elves, orcs, humans and goblins converge at the base of the Lonely Mountain, the fight for the future of Middle Earth begins. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Peter Jackson 

Cast: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Luke Evans, Evangeline Lilly, Orlando Bloom

Release Date: Dec 17, 2014

Rated PG-13 for Intense Fantasy Action, Frightening Images and Intense Fantasy Violence

Runtime: 2 hr. 24 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

The final entry in The Hobbit trilogy finally pays off all the set up from the sometimes laborious previous entries.  Jackson has proven time and again that he’s a master of marvelous mayhem on an epic scale. After wrapping up the storyline from the 2^nd film, which should have be the previous entries finale, the film moves judiciously through some plot points setting up the final battle(s).  This film is the leanest of all of Jackson’s Tolkien films with a steady sense of momentum throughout.  Once the film’s battle sequences begin, they don’t stop for nearly an hour and a half.  It’s a dizzying run through every sort of battle you’ve ever seen.  The finale set in the ice and snow is the most impressive of the entire film which also packs the biggest emotional punch.  The actors have all settled into their roles by this point and each delivers strong performances with Luke Evans and Martin Freeman being the biggest standouts.  Evangeline Lilly gets a rather large chuck of screen time which is baffling since the character is not in the books and she’s saddled with a clichéd love story.  Unlike the other trilogy capper, this one doesn’t wear on too much but that’s not to say it doesn’t overstay its welcome.  Battle fatigue, even when they wonderfully crafted, starts to set in after a while.  At the very least it’s not filled with endless false endings like Return of the King, instead we get a nice send off with an aged Bilbo taking us back to the start of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Judge & Dracula Untold

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the pictures for what looked like an Oscars/Razzies double bill of The Judge and Dracula Untold.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on the docket was The Judge. (See what I did there?)

A hotshot big-city attorney (Robert Downey, Jr.) returns to his smalltown home for his mother's funeral, but ends up defending his father (Robert Duvall)--a respected judge--against a murder charge.

The Judge layers family drama with legal thriller in an interesting, if unsurprising, tale. It's Awards Season, so it goes without saying the movie runs long, and I suppose it's meant to give you a case of the warm fuzzies about smalltown America (versus the big, bad city), a ploy that never, ever fails to annoy me. The Judge is littered with respected and decorated actors: Duvall, Vera Farmiga, Billy Bob Thornton, and Vincent D'Onofrio. Most everyone has the opportunity to weep his or her way through a potential Oscar clip or three, but it's Downey who will get you through the movie's bloated runtime without looking at your watch.

He is the most watchable person making movies today, and round about the 90-minute mark, you'll be ever grateful for that, trust me. To gauge The Judge's true merit, then, it's only fair to ask: How good is this movie if it stars somebody else? The answer is maybe a little better than average.

The Judge clocks in at 141 minutes and is rated R for "language, including some sexual references."
Minus Robert Downey, Jr., The Judge is a well acted but predictable and excessively-long drama. With Robert Downey, Jr., it's infinitely watchable and easily forgiven for its sins.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Judge gets seven.

Next up was Luke Evans' first real starring vehicle, Dracula Untold.

Having left life as "the Impaler" behind him, Prince Vlad Tepes makes a deal with the devil to protect his family and his people.

Dear reader(s), as something of an expert on the subject, I want to remind you up front that Luke Evans is a truly talented, multi-faceted actor, and his films have yet to scratch the surface of his potential. It's important for me to make that clear for reasons that will become apparent later.
Dracula Untold is more like Dracula Untrue, turning the fabled Count into a bizarro mix of superhero and romance novel cover boy. Evans can't be blamed (much to the relief of this longtime fan), and, to his credit, he manages to pull off the silly action and terrible dialogue with a fair bit of charm. The usually reliable Dominic Cooper is miscast as the movie's villain...and where ya goin' with that accent, Coop?? Blandly pretty Sarah Gadon is...erm...bland and pretty as Drac's missus, but in the end both she and the role are entirely forgettable. Though the movie is smart enough not to wear out its welcome, and there are some decent effects scattered about, it is, for the most part, a laughable exercise. Having said all that, you really should go see Dracula Untold, because Luke Evans: a.) kicks ass, b.) makes out, and c.) takes off his shirt. That's worth your ten bucks any day.

Dracula Untold runs 92 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of warfare, vampire attacks, disturbing images, and some sensuality."

It's nowhere near as silly as Twilight, but Dracula Untold isn't the movie vampire fans have been waiting for, either.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Dracula Untold gets five. (But I'm sure I'll be seeing it again and again!)

Until next time...

So...uh...see you at the theatre, then?

MOVIE REVIEW: DRACULA UNTOLD

Director Gary Shore revamps the mythos surrounding Vlad the Impaler in Dracula Year Zero, a Universal Pictures release from a script by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless. The horror tale is set to take place in Romania during the Turkish invasion as Vlad (Luke Evans) goes to the greatest of lengths to fight for his homeland -- even if it means selling his soul and becoming forever doomed as a creature of the night. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Gary Shore

Cast: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper.

Release Date: Oct 10, 2014

Rated PG-13 for Intense Sequences of Warfare, Disturbing Images, Some Sensuality and Vampire Attacks 

Runtime: 1 hr. 32 min. Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror 

Review:

Dracula Untold desperately wants to be the start of a new franchise.  Everything about it screams origin story, something we’ve seen countless times before in countless other films.  This take on Dracula borrows heavily from the superhero genre mixed with a healthy dose of Lord of the Rings style battles.  Luke Evans is appropriately grim and determined as the titular Dracula even if he can’t quite find a solid grip on something original about the character.  That’s hardly a surprise since the character has been done so many times most children could probably recite the standard mythology, most of which is rehashed yet again here.  Still, Evans tries hardily to trudge through the pedestrian storyline hitting all the standard notes.  The film might have been strong if Dominic Cooper had been given better material to work and made better use of the villain.  On the plus side, Gary Shore keeps his movie moving at a brisk pace throwing in enough visual flourishes to keep it interesting enough to hold your attention.  The ending leaves open a massive door for future sequels which could be more intriguing than this run of the mill origin story.  

C

6 Degrees of Separation Blogathon

Since there’s a cinematic dead spot in my movie calendar right I accepted a challenge from Tanner Jones (The Average Critic) to participate in the 6 Degrees of Separation Blogathon. 

Like Tanner, this is my first ever blogathon but that’s probably due to my general laziness….

To complete the challenge, I must figure out a way to connect Kaya Scodelario to Oscar Issac. 

In essence, it’s a cinematic version of 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon.

While I’ve seen these actors, I can’t say I’m terribly familiar with either, so it took me a bit to find the connection

So without further adieu let’s begin….

Kaya Scodelario was in Clash of the Titans with….

 

 

Luke Evans who was in The Raven with….

  

John Cusack who was in the Paperboy with…

Scott Glenn who was in Sucker Punch with… 

 Oscar Isaac!!!

 

 Please hold your applause.....just kidding feel free to shower me with your love....

I now challenge Maynard over at Maynard's Horror Movie Diary to connect Oscar Isaac with Shannyn Sossamon….

Cindy Prascik’s Quickie DVD Review of No One Lives

Dearest Blog, you know how sometimes movies don't make much of a box office splash, then you pick 'em up on DVD and they're so good you wonder why they didn't do better business? Okay, yesterday I didn't do that. Yesterday I bought No One Lives.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers, which were surprisingly prevalent despite the film's limited release.

On the road and looking for a fresh start, a man and his girlfriend make a pit stop and are harassed by some local thugs...who may just have bitten off more than they can chew.

No One Lives is a cesspool of violence, gore, foul language, and insipid dialogue, one of the worst films I've ever seen. Its intent is to shock, but it doesn't even provide any cheap startle-scares or bother trying to build suspense.

If the movie has a redeeming quality--and trust me, I'm reaching--it's that a bona fide starring role in even a lousy film provides a glimpse of Luke Evans' prowess as a genuine Movie Star, and leaves you eager for the day when he has the lead in a movie that deserves him.

No One Lives clocks in at a mercifully short 86 minutes, and is rated R for "strong bloody violence, disturbing images, pervasive language, and some sexuality/nudity."

Well done, something this over-the-top could have been a lot of fun, but, alas, this is anything but well done.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, No One Lives gets one, and that's only because I'm feeling generous.

Until next time...



...but, hey, Luke Evans! :-)

[Trailer] The Hobbit

Continuing the blockbuster season of trailers, the first trailer for Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit was just released and it can best be described in the cheesiest of ways but it is in fact a return to Middle Earth…..