Dearest Blog, you know how sometimes movies don't make much of a box office splash, then you pick 'em up on DVD and they're so good you wonder why they didn't do better business? Okay, yesterday I didn't do that. Yesterday I bought No One Lives.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers, which were surprisingly prevalent despite the film's limited release.
On the road and looking for a fresh start, a man and his girlfriend make a pit stop and are harassed by some local thugs...who may just have bitten off more than they can chew.
No One Lives is a cesspool of violence, gore, foul language, and insipid dialogue, one of the worst films I've ever seen. Its intent is to shock, but it doesn't even provide any cheap startle-scares or bother trying to build suspense.
If the movie has a redeeming quality--and trust me, I'm reaching--it's that a bona fide starring role in even a lousy film provides a glimpse of Luke Evans' prowess as a genuine Movie Star, and leaves you eager for the day when he has the lead in a movie that deserves him.
No One Lives clocks in at a mercifully short 86 minutes, and is rated R for "strong bloody violence, disturbing images, pervasive language, and some sexuality/nudity."
Well done, something this over-the-top could have been a lot of fun, but, alas, this is anything but well done.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, No One Lives gets one, and that's only because I'm feeling generous.
Until next time...
...but, hey, Luke Evans! :-)
