Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Dark Waters & Cats

The weekend before Christmas provided an opportunity to catch up with my sorely neglected cinema. First priorities: Dark Waters and Cats.

Spoiler level for Dark Waters will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or the news. I don't think there are proper spoilers for a film like Cats--it's not exactly rife with plot twists--but I'm going to talk about it in excruciating detail. If you really don't want to know anything before you see it, or if you really don't want to read 1500 words on one of the year's worst movies, please proceed accordingly.

First on my weekend docket: Dark Waters, a based-on-actual-events tale of the attorney who took on chemical giant DuPont over poisoned water in Parkersburg, West Virginia.

Dark Waters is a compelling story told in pedestrian fashion, a disappointment considering the names involved. It's weirdly edited in places, with some shots lingering overlong while others cut off so abruptly it seems like somebody forgot to come back and finish it. The movie wears its agenda on its sleeve, with broadly-drawn good guys and bad guys, chugging along at a deliberate pace that makes it seem longer than it is. Some good tension builds towards the end, as the case comes to a head, but it's pretty late in the game. The big-name cast includes Mark Ruffalo in a fine but unremarkable turn as Robert Bilott, David to DuPont's Goliath. Anne Hathaway and Tim Robbins are up and down as Bilott's wife and boss/mentor, respectively. Bill Pullman turns in the only performance I really enjoyed, and his screen time is, sadly, rather limited. West Virginia doesn't necessarily get the worst cinematic treatment it's ever had, though certainly Dark Waters doesn't have an opportunity to show our state at its best, even if it effectively portrays the resilience of our people. (Some would say "bull-headedness," but we'll stick with "resilience" here.) Dark Waters is a movie worth seeing, but maybe more worth seeing on Netflix or as a rental, rather than with the full cinema pricetag.

Dark Waters runs 126 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic content, some disturbing images, and strong language."

Dark Waters is a serviceable telling of a great story, one that's all the sadder as West Virginia continues to sell itself to the highest bidder with little regard for its own well-being. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Dark Waters gets seven.

Next up: the big-screen adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's much loved musical, Cats. Buckle up, kids. We're gonna TALK about this one.

On the night of the Jellicle Ball, the Jellicle Leader chooses one Jellicle cat to elevate to a new Jellicle life.

Think that synopsis makes no sense? You aren't alone. Many would say (and have said) Cats makes no sense, there's no story. The plot is a thin one, more a series of vignettes, with each cat making his or her case to win the Jellicle Leader's favor.

Now, the disclaimer: I love Cats. It's one of my top three musicals of all time, and my favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber property. When I see the current national tour of Cats in February, it will mark my 30th visit to the junkyard. Certainly some productions are better than others (the 1993 national tour that featured now-Tony-winning choreographer Christopher Gattelli as Mr. Mistoffelees and Mad Men's Bryan Batt as Munkustrap is a favorite), but I've yet to crawl away disappointed...until this movie. Herein we shall discuss where the film goes wrong, and those few things it actually gets right.

We'll start with some of the big misses: Despite its best-known number being a proper belter, Cats is a dance-oriented show, yet this film has eliminated the most impressive dance sequences: Mr. Mistoffelees' solo, Jennyanydots' tap number (represented, but not properly), and the Invitation to the Jellicle Ball. Each of those pieces is included, but the best dance bits have been cut or bastardized by an over-abundance of CGI. (Anybody else weirded out by those perpetually-erect tails??) The stage production has always gone to great lengths to get makeup, costumes, and feline movement spot-on, but here not a care was taken...in fact, these things are so bad as to appear willfully wrong. Most costumes stop at the ankles, leaving obviously human bare feet on display, though some Jellicles (in their sensible, everyday forms) wear high-top sneakers, boots, overalls, and even a top hat. Human garb in the stage production is a storytelling tool, and generally is crafted to fit with the cat's pattern, such as Misto's vest and bowtie and Grizabella's dress and coat. The film's makeup leaves its very famous faces very recognizable and looking like A-list actors in dollar-store Halloween costumes. It's distracting. Finally, for a barely-there plot that requires no explanation, this movie does an awkward amount of explaining.

By the numbers, Act I:

This movie *almost* gets the Overture right, as there's only a brief frame before its first notes twinkle through the darkened theater. No choreographed Christmas lights, though. Shame. Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats fares better than most numbers, though it suffers some unfortunate edits, ditto the Naming of Cats, where they left in the line about cats having three different names, then edited out the stanza about the second name. Hope no one's counting! Robbie Fairchild does a fine job with my second-favorite Jellicle, Munkustrap. Munkustrap is the busiest cat in the junkyard, serving as a sort-of narrator and appearing in nearly every number, so it's important that he's good. This one is good. Rebel Wilson's crass performance as Jennyanydots, the Old Gumbie Cat, renders one of the show's cutest numbers a vulgar exercise. Jason Derulo lacks the chutzpah that makes Rum Tum Tugger so much fun when he's done right, but he's a good singer and has some presence. James Corden as Bustopher Jones is one of the movie's better-cast roles, though the number's adapted rather stupidly. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer are deprived of their perk, and neither Danny Collins nor Naoimh Morgan brings any real charm to these audacious felines. Also...there's no tumbling, dammit! Dame Judy Dench is okay as Old Deuteronomy, though I miss the traditionally-male Jellicle Leader's big, booming voice. The new number written by Sir Andrew with Taylor Swift specifically for this film is a dud. It's performed by our Victoria, Francesca Hayward, also something of a dud. Victoria is a featured dancer in the show, so it's baffling that filmmakers chose an accomplished ballerina for the role, then assigned her a bunch of singing and smothered her beautiful dancing in CGI. The Jellicle Ball is a bizarre Furry orgy that again buries its choreography in badly-done effects. Ye gods.

Onward to Act II:

Ian McKellen is of Cats' biggest victories as Gus, the Theater Cat. He doesn't have as much to do as you'd like Sir Ian McKellen to do if you were lucky enough to get him for your movie, but he's quite a good fit. Steven McRae is a pretty solid Skimbleshanks, too, though the number itself is disappointing compared to its live cousin. (Skimble is my third-favorite Jellicle; it's important to get Skimble right.) Macavity...uh...where do I even start? Idris Elba, inarguably (for my money) the sexiest man alive, is utterly ridiculous in a role that is, by default, nefariously sexy. First, he does too much talking. There is no talking in Cats. There is only singing and dancing. Secondly, you can see too much Idris Elba (aren't those weird words to put together?) to think he's anything but Idris Elba in a goofy fur suit. That's down to makeup AGAIN. Finally, his Bombalurina is Taylor Swift, an admirable artist for many reasons, but entirely miscast as this very sexy, very mature Jellicle. Macavity is one of the show's best numbers, and one of the film's worst. How very disappointing. Next up is my favorite Jellicle, Mr. Mistoffelees. (It is MOST important to get Mr. Mistoffelees right.) Laurie Davidson is, in fact, quite a good Mr. Mistoffelees. I mean, he's no Jacob Brent, but he's definitely the best part of the movie, despite the filmmakers cutting his big solo. Following Misto's abbreviated number, our Grizabella turns up for the showstopper, Memory, or, as Jennifer Hudson sings it, "Mamwee." Jennifer Hudson has a great voice--that is an indisputable fact--but it's outweighed by her perpetually-running nose, vacant stare, and sloppy diction. This Grizabella ascends to the Heaviside Layer not in an old tire, but rather in a chandelier (perhaps a nod to ALW's other dumpster-fire film adaptation, the Phantom of the Opera?).  The finale, the Ad-Dressing of Cats, feels like an anti-climax minus an Old Deuteronomy with a commanding baritone, but the fact that it's not a complete disaster feels like a win.

A few missing pieces: Growltiger makes a surprise appearance, but his featured number is predictably absent from the film, as it has been from most of the recent Cats productions I've seen (I assume due to its racial insensitivity). There are no Pekes or Pollicles, also frequently axed from the stage production. As mentioned, while the film visits a junkyard, the junkyard isn't its primary home, an artistic choice that won't have much bearing on your enjoyment of the movie unless you really love that junkyard. (I do.) At least they got the "Vivat!" right, I guess.

Here's something I learned about Cats when it was revived on Broadway a couple years back: While shows like Hedwig and Hair really seem to find their audiences in revival--remaining relevant even while painted by the times in which they're set--Cats is not so fortunate. Debuting in London in 1981 and on Broadway in 1982, the nearly-plotless two hours of dancing felines seemed a good fit for the Ferris Bueller and Duran Duran set, even a game-changer for the time. In 2017, alongside Hamilton, Indecent, and even Come From Away, Cats just seemed irrelevant. I still shelled out for a front-row seat on my annual trip to the Big Apple, and I still loved it, but it was definitely a show out of its time. Had this movie been a straightforward adaptation of the stage production (I'd hoped for some improvement on the direct-to-DVD 1998 attempt), it still would be too late for this show to set the world on fire, but a quality big-screen version would have found its audience among the show's fans, of which there still are many. Instead, it's been turned into a punchline, a bad-movie benchmark for the foreseeable future, and here's the thing about that: In "serious" theater circles, Cats is already a punchline. Low-brow theater, tourist fare. It's also a very specific, unique thing that can't be made into something it's not. You can love or hate it for what it is, but you can't effectively change what it is. In attempting to do just that, Tom Hooper and company have made Cats a punchline for what it *isn't,* and that just breaks my heart. If In the Heights weren't already in the can and looking so promising, I'd worry Cats was bad enough to scare Hollywood off the movie musical for some time.

Cats clocks in at 110 minutes and is rated PG for "some rude and suggestive humor."

The 2019 film version of Cats is a travesty, crafted by people who either failed to understand this terrific show on a fundamental level or simply didn't care. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Cats gets three (one for each of my favorite Jellicles).

The current national tour of Cats is in Toronto through January 5th, moving to Boston and Baltimore immediately following. For my locals, the show rolls into Pittsburgh's beautiful Benedum Center from February 25th through March 1st. For a full list of dates and tickets, please check out the link below. Please do not let this abomination of a film deter you from seeing this legendary show in person.

https://ustour.catsthemusical.com/tickets/

Now...who's up for a Starlight Express revival??

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: CATS

A tribe of cats must decide yearly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life.

Director: Tom Hooper

Cast: James Corden, Judi Dench, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellen, Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson, Francesca Hayward

Release Date: December 20, 2019

Comedy, Comedy, Drama, Family

Rated PG for some rude and suggestive humor

Runtime: 1 h 50 min

Review:

My knowledge of the Cat's stage play is fairly limited.  I've never gotten around to finding out why it was such a cultural phenomenon but have heard the song Memories in passing.  So I walked into the screen adaptation of the musical mostly blank.  Tom Hooper's film is veritable cornucopia of strangeness and WTF moments that it's hard to take your eyes off it.  The much talked about digital fur is instantly distracting and the effect never really seems to wear off for the duration.  It doesn't help that some characters wear clothes and shoes while other don't for no discernible reason, ultimately your left wondering who decides.  Its not the only question that will pop up in your head mainly because the plot mostly consist of introductions with a very general end game which is actually pretty dark once you start to think about it.  Still there are some positives to be appreciated here such as newcomer Francesca Hayward debut.  Hayward's re purposed Victoria is the audience's avenue into this strange world filled with tiny child mice and dancing human cockroaches.  Mind you the film takes very little time to ease the audience into any of this so you jump into the deep end pretty quickly.  Thankfully Francesca's performance is endearing enough to keep you on board if you didn't immediately jump off board.  Her ballerina skills are on full display through the seemingly endless song and dance sequences.  The bigger names all have varying levels of success with their characters as they go full feline.  Ian McKellen and Judi Dench bring and air of respectability to the whole thing with each having a moment to shine in the latter portions of the film.  Meanwhile James Corden and Rebel Wilson play into the whole silliness of the whole thing, it work sometimes but when it misses it misses badly.  Jason Derulo seems to be doing his own thing, particularly during his main song early on.  Idris Elba is all in from the start but he's never given enough screen time to really leave a proper impression outside of leaving you feel confused.  Taylor Swift's cabaret inspired sequence is lively once you get past her dollar story British accent.  Jennifer Hudson is given the film's singular song and you'd be hard pressed to deny her talent even though she can't seem to decide what volume to sing said song at during various attempts.  If this all sounds like a strange hodgepodge of ideas and talents well it is.  At certain points during the film I wasn't sure if I was actually watching some terribly campy 70's grindhouse musical or an unused portions of legendary Marlon Brando 1996 dumpster fire The Island of Dr. Moreau.  At the same time you sort appreciate the audacity of the whole thing like going full bore into the feline mannerisms, so much neck cuddling and nose kisses, while dealing a story is mainly about cats vying for the opportunity to die and move on to it's next life.  

C

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Ford v Ferrari, The Good Liar & Doctor Sleep

Ford v Ferrari / The Good Liar / Doctor Sleep CINDY PRASCIK·TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2019·5 MINUTES An extra-long weekend left me with an opportunity to see the weekend's two new releases at my local cinema, as well as catching up a bit from a couple weeks back. On my agenda: Ford v Ferrari, the Good Liar, and Doctor Sleep.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing plot-specific.

First on the docket: Ford v Ferrari.

In the mid-1960s, American auto maker Ford decides to challenge perennial champion Ferrari on the world racing stage.

I feel it's first important to note that I would not hesitate to recommend Ford v Ferrari to anyone, even if you don't like cars or racing, even if you think it's just a white-guy movie, even if the sight of Matt Damon makes you want to punch a wall. (I seem to know an inexplicable number of folks in that last group.) It's just a good movie, sans any qualifiers. Ford v Ferrari starts with compelling story, but, as Midway would be happy to show you, not all compelling stories make compelling films. Where Ford v Ferrari succeeds is in making you care about its story, its characters, and its outcome, whether or not you are pre-disposed to do so. Christian Bale and Matt Damon are terrific in the leads, so much so that I think it would be a mistake to write off either in the upcoming best actor races. (As with Joaquin Phoenix, just ceding the nominations. They also may not have Taron's Oscar.) A two-and-a-half-hour runtime is solidly paced and never drags, and the beautifully-filmed racing scenes are tense enough to leave you holding your breath. The movie is funny, too, often unexpectedly so, and it has tons of heart. If it is cars you love, well, there are plenty of revving engines and sexy shots of gorgeous automobiles to go 'round. A phenomenal score by Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders ties a bow on this true gift of a film.

Ford v Ferrari runs 152 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some language and peril."

As someone whose sole knowledge racing comes from Talladega Nights and that one Finnish driver I follow on Twitter, I am here to tell you, dear reader(s), that Ford v Ferrari is a great movie for everyone. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Ford v Ferrari gets eight and a half.

Next up: the Good Liar.

A career con-artist sets his sights on a seemingly naive, well-to-do lady.

The Good Liar is the sort of grown-up movie that people complain Hollywood doesn't make anymore, then everyone stays home when it turns up at the cinema. That seems a real shame here, with two icons--Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen--fronting a well-crafted yarn that holds a number of surprises. Mirren and McKellan are expectedly fantastic, playing off one another as only two of the best can do. The story itself is a layered one that takes a darker turn than I expected. It's often said that R-rated films weed out not only those viewers who are too young for extreme content, but also those of a certain age who might prefer their entertainment minus violence and vulgarity. Certainly the Good Liar isn't Saw or the Human Centipede, but with a fair few F-bombs and some intense (though not graphic) violence, I wouldn't take my mom to see it, either. The Good Liar moves slowly enough in spots that it gets to feeling a bit overlong, but it's also smart enough to hold your attention pretty much end to end.

The Good Liar clocks in at 109 minutes and is rated R for "some strong violence, and for language and brief nudity."

The Good Liar is the sort of film that will suffer for having nothing to gain by being seen on a big screen, but it's definitely worth catching in some form whenever it crosses your path. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Good Liar gets eight.

Fangirl points: Russell Tovey!!

Finally, yesterday I closed out my weekend with a-day-late-and-a-dollar-short screening of Doctor Sleep.

Years after the events of the Shining, an adult Dan Torrance must protect a young girl who "shines" from a dangerous cult of immortals.

Doctor Sleep starts off promisingly enough, teasing a few ominous bars of the original Shining theme, but, sadly, it's all downhill from there. The film creeps along at a snail's pace, offers little new or interesting, and is never really properly scary. Nods to the original are copious and always entirely expected, especially towards the final act. Ewan McGregor really seems to have no idea how to salvage the material, and--at a bloated two-and-a-half hours--the movie overstays its welcome by a good 45 minutes. Now...here's why you'll want to go see Doctor Sleep anyway: Rebecca Ferguson. While everyone else seems adrift in a sea of clunky dialogue and predictable turns, Ferguson chews up the pedestrian material and spits it right back out into a riveting turn as Rose the Hat. She's creepy, she's sexy, she's camp, she's absolutely fantastic. You won't be able to take your eyes off of her. It's a performance well worth whatever it costs to see it on the big screen.

Doctor Sleep runs a plodding 152 minutes and is rated R for "disturbing and violent content, some bloody images, language, nudity, and drug use."

If you're an insomniac, Doctor Sleep is the cure. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Doctor Sleep gets four.

Fangirl points: Zahn McClarnon! Bruce Greenwood!

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik''s Reviews of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and Mr. Holmes

Dearest Blog: today it was off to the pictures for a pair of highly-anticipated (at least by me) titles: The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and Mr. Holmes.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

An American C.I.A. agent and a Russian K.G.B. agent reluctantly team up to keep a nuclear bomb out of dangerous hands.

Ladies and gents, it will surprise exactly no one when I say I know nothing about the original Man from U.N.C.L.E. TV series, aside from the fact it's where Ducky from NCIS got his start. If you're looking for comparisons between this big-screen outing and its small-screen ancestor, I fear you'll have to look elsewhere.

On its own merits, the big-screen Man from U.N.C.L.E. feels like it can't quite decide what it wants to be. It's amusing, but not nearly funny enough to be called a comedy. It's a little too silly to sell its attempts at drama. There's some nice action, but none of the big stunts we've come to expect from great action pieces. In other words, it's a lot of "what might have been."

Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer are as good-looking a pair of guys as you'll find anywhere, perhaps cinema's most dashing double-leads since Newman and Redford. Unfortunately, Cavill has all the charisma of a used lunch bag, and Hammer (whom I adore, for the record) has been shoved into a role that never seems to fit. They have a few genuinely good moments together, but overall it seems a waste of two capable leading men.

Female lead Alicia Vikander is absolutely stunning and absolutely unremarkable in every other way. It's only when Hugh Grant turns up you feel like you've got someone who knows what to do with a feature film. As mentioned, the action is good fun at times, but nothing very exciting or new. There's espionage and double-crosses and triple-crosses and none of it is ever much of a surprise. Some of the locations are almost as pretty as Cavill and Hammer, but if I had to name the one thing I actually really, really loved about The Man from U.N.C.L.E., it'd be Daniel Pemberton's fantastic score.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. clocks in at 116 minutes and is rated PG13 for "action violence, some suggestive content, and partial nudity."

It's a passable couple hours of brainless summer fun, but, to be honest, if your cinema is still playing Mission: Impossible-Rogue Nation, you'd do better just to see that again.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. gets six.

Next on the docket, Mr. Holmes.

An elderly, failing Sherlock Holmes is haunted by a past blunder.

Dear Reader(s), every once in awhile, even *I* need a break from car chases and explosions, and this weekend my cinema was kind enough to accommodate with this well-regarded showcase for Ian McKellen.

Mr. Holmes is a pretty slow-moving vehicle; in the interest of making that not sound like a negative, we'll call it "deliberately paced." This movie is in no hurry to get anywhere, but that's not to say there's not plenty going on. A couple of old cases nag at the edges of Holmes' fading memory, and his declining health adds its own drama. McKellen and Laura Linney are expectedly great, but it's the youngster Milo Parker who steals the show, comfortably holding his own opposite his two decorated co-stars. It's a quietly intense film that will have no trouble holding your attention from start to finish.
Mr. Holmes runs 104 minutes and is rated PG for "thematic elements, some disturbing images, and incidental smoking."

A nice respite from shoot-em-up summer blockbusters, of a possible nine Weasleys, Mr. Holmes gets seven.

Until next time..

Somebody get me in the middle of that...STAT! :-)

MOVIE REVIEW: THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES

Peter Jackson takes cues from the appendices of The Lord of the Rings to expand New Line Cinema's Hobbit adaptation with this third film completing the epic tale of Bilbo Baggins, as played by Martin Freeman. The story opens to find the vengeful dragon Smaug (voice of Benedict Cumberbatch) decimating the peaceful hamlet of Laketown as Bilbo, Thorin (Richard Armitage) and the rest of the dwarves lay claim to the Lonely Mountain. But their celebration is short-lived as Thorin grows obsessed with finding the Arkenstone. Meanwhile, Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) Elrond (Hugo Weaving) and Saruman (Christopher Lee) battle the Nazgul in an attempt to free Gandalf (Ian McKellen), and get some unexpected help from eccentric wizard Radagast (Sylvester McCoy). Unfortunately for all involved the struggle has only just begun, because as armies of dwarves, elves, orcs, humans and goblins converge at the base of the Lonely Mountain, the fight for the future of Middle Earth begins. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Peter Jackson 

Cast: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Luke Evans, Evangeline Lilly, Orlando Bloom

Release Date: Dec 17, 2014

Rated PG-13 for Intense Fantasy Action, Frightening Images and Intense Fantasy Violence

Runtime: 2 hr. 24 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

The final entry in The Hobbit trilogy finally pays off all the set up from the sometimes laborious previous entries.  Jackson has proven time and again that he’s a master of marvelous mayhem on an epic scale. After wrapping up the storyline from the 2^nd film, which should have be the previous entries finale, the film moves judiciously through some plot points setting up the final battle(s).  This film is the leanest of all of Jackson’s Tolkien films with a steady sense of momentum throughout.  Once the film’s battle sequences begin, they don’t stop for nearly an hour and a half.  It’s a dizzying run through every sort of battle you’ve ever seen.  The finale set in the ice and snow is the most impressive of the entire film which also packs the biggest emotional punch.  The actors have all settled into their roles by this point and each delivers strong performances with Luke Evans and Martin Freeman being the biggest standouts.  Evangeline Lilly gets a rather large chuck of screen time which is baffling since the character is not in the books and she’s saddled with a clichéd love story.  Unlike the other trilogy capper, this one doesn’t wear on too much but that’s not to say it doesn’t overstay its welcome.  Battle fatigue, even when they wonderfully crafted, starts to set in after a while.  At the very least it’s not filled with endless false endings like Return of the King, instead we get a nice send off with an aged Bilbo taking us back to the start of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Dearest Blog, with a couple screenings of the final installment of Peter Jackson's Hobbit trilogy now under my belt, I shall try to present some thoughts. Coherence not guaranteed. (But is it ever?)

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish, no biggies, but if you prefer to go in totally blind--if that's even possible with a story that's nearly 80 years old--kindly defer reading until you've seen it.

Having made their way home, the company of Thorin Crabbypants defends its Kingdom Under the Mountain, but there's more than gold on the line when the battle expands.

Where to start...where to start...

Beginning at the beginning, BOTFA kicks off where Desolation of Smaug ended, with an angry dragon descending on the panicked citizens of Lake-town. For such frantic circumstances, the start of the film seems quite slow. Then there is The Thing that happens so quickly I have to wonder why The Thing didn't happen in the last movie, as (in Director Cindy's opinion) it seems more fittingly part of that one, and would have provided a more logical breaking point between numbers two and three.

The Thing is a pretty major development, but dropping it so soon makes it seem almost an afterthought. Once the movie gets rolling, it's not hard to see why filmmakers changed the name from There and Back Again...this movie is not about a trip; this movie is about a fight. While I wouldn't quite agree that it amounts to no more than an extended battle scene, there's definitely a lot of battlin' going on.

At nearly two and a half hours, BOTFA is the most compact of Peter Jackson's six Middle Earth epics, and it honestly does not seem long. Having said that, there are plenty of places it could have been cropped to make a better film, battles among them. (I might also mention the attentive viewer needs just so many shots of a dive-bombing dragon to get what's going on there.) Some CGI is inexcusably poor for a movie that cost so much to make; as with DOS, it's mostly noticeable in the movement of the Elves.

The few lighter moments are hit or miss, with Martin Freeman's wonderful expressiveness getting credit for the hits, and a bunch of flat, obvious gags featuring Ryan Gage taking blame for the misses. The character Tauriel remains a pointless addition, and her simpering looks at Kili and Legolas and Thranduil and...well...pretty much everyone are almost too annoying to bear. Finally, there's simply too little of 12 of the 13 Dwarves we've come to love over the course of the series.

On to the positives...Ken Stott and Martin Freeman remain the heart of The Hobbit, through three movies turning in performances that are consistently genuine, funny, and moving. I'd be remiss in my fangirling if I didn't note that Aidan Turner and Luke Evans are also terrific; this franchise will deservedly make big stars of both, and I couldn't be happier or more proud.

The movie's backed by the usual glorious New Zealand scenery, and the usual glorious Howard Shore score.

Obviously, this is another Jacksonized version of Tolkien; by this point, I'm sure nobody walks into these things expecting a faithful adaptation of the books. (If it were about real people, I'd say it's more "inspired by true events" than "based on a true story.") In many ways, it's Jackson's final thank you to the fans who have loved his vision of Middle Earth, with characters from the other films being name-checked or turning up in cameos and small roles.

Even if the battle scenes run on a bit, there's no shortage of nice fight choreography, cool weapons, and badass hero moments. It would be less than honest to pretend the story isn't stretched pretty thin; this is no Return of the King, and it won't be received as such by fans or critics.

That may feel like going out with a whimper instead of a bang, but in the end it's immaterial to me. Buoyed by my strong affection for the franchise, I have no problem accepting this as a fitting goodbye, and, as with all the other movies in the series, I'm confident my love will only grow with repeat viewings.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies runs 144 minutes and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence and frightening images."

I'm not sure this a great movie--and I'm not sure it's not--but I'm mostly happy with it.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies gets seven.

Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be petitioning the Tolkien estate to give PJ the Silmarillion.

Until next time...

Because...reasons

Cindy Prascik's Review of X-Men: Days of Future Past

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the cinema in the hope that X-Men: Days of Future Past would live up the hype. I am pleased to report I was not disappointed.

Spoiler level here will be mild, limited to one very specific, non plot-related...um..."asset" that I must mention.

Logan travels to the past to try to change history and avoid a terrible fate for mutants and humans.

Well, dear Blog, whenever the 70s are in play, one thing's for sure: the fashion is going to be good for laughs, whether intentional or not. While Days of Future Past doesn't go full American Hustle, it's fair to say the ascot is not Michael Fassbender's best look.

I love the cast of X-Men: Days of Future Past like I've loved few others. Were I to make a bullet list of the acting awesomeness, we'd be here all night. Suffice to say everyone is just great, and it's worth mentioning that Evan Peters--who is routinely terrific in American Horror Story--is every bit as good as his better-known castmates in his sadly limited screen time.

With its wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey plot, Days of Future Past could have ended up a convoluted mess, but instead it's handled expertly, a clever story that never bogs down. If the movie feels a little too long, I can't say there was so much as a minute I wasn't engaged. The effects are solid and--yes!!--we do get one (1) "pants optional" scene with the ever-fit Mr. Jackman. (The movie gods have heard my prayers!) If I had one complaint, it's that I kinda feel like what's the point of anything happening if you can just go back and make it un-happen, or what we'll call "The Heroes Effect."

That sounds like a pretty huge problem, but it diminishes my enthusiasm for neither the film nor the franchise.

I did not see this in 3D, and I can't say I felt like I was missing anything.

X-Men: Days of Future Past clocks in at 131 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of intense sci-fi violence and action, some suggestive material, nudity, and language."

X-Men: Days of Future Past gets full marks for writing, acting, directing, and effects, and a few small quibbles won't stop me from calling it a truly great movie.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, X-Men: Days of Future Past gets eight.

Until next time...

Your argument is invalid.

MOVIE REVIEW: X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

Convinced that mutants pose a threat to humanity, Dr. Bolivar Trask (Peter Dinklage) develops the Sentinels, enormous robotic weapons that can detect a mutant gene and zero in on that person. In the 21st century, the Sentinels have evolved into highly efficient killing machines. With mutants now facing extinction, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) volunteers to go back in time and rally the X-Men of the past to help change a pivotal moment in history and thereby save their future.

Director: Bryan Singer 

Cast: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen.

Release Date: May 23, 2014

Runtime: 2 hr. 11 min. 

Genres: Sci-Fi Action, Superhero Film, Action, Fantasy

Review:

All in all I don’t think I’d be too far off base by saying that X-Men: Days of Future Past was probably more challenging endeavor than assembling The Avengers.  Thankfully Bryan Singer is back in the drivers seat along with an incredibly strong script which works surprisingly well even with the all the characters and timelines at play.  Singer’s ability to weave complex storylines while keeping the story’s heart is his gift to the series.  Watching him build this epic story will leave most fans even more bitter that he choose Superman Returns over the third X-men film.  Everything about the story is huge and the action set pieces are simply dazzling with the film rarely faltering during its 2 hour runtime.  James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence are all in fine form.  They’re all much more comfortable in the characters skin bringing even more depth and meaning to each of them.  Hugh Jackman also gives us his best turn as Wolverine since X-2.  The original cast gets their moments to shine even if some of the new characters mostly serve as superhero fodder with the exception of Evans Peters Quicksilver who’s gone from the film far too quickly.  X-Men: Days of Future Past was probably one of the most anticipated film on this years calendar and is a rare example of a film delivering in spades.

A-

[Full Trailer] X-Men: Days of Future Past

The full trailer of the upcoming X-men: Days of Future Past really gives a peek at the scale of the spectacle that’s going to be on full display.  The trailer is quite impressive since it gives us a better look at the story and sentinels both past and future models along with plenty of hero shots. 

My expectations are pretty high, hopefully it delivers….

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Dearest Blog, if ya ever want to test your mettle at the cinema, try sitting through the same three-hour movie twice in 12 hours. Yesterday I did just that with The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish, nothing you wouldn't know or have guessed from the trailers. Also, I took some notes on the second go-round, but from the darkened theatre to the light of day I can't read them all, so...DKGHSKYIEKSHELDKEIX might be exactly what I think of this film!

The company of Thorin Oakenshield continues its quest to reclaim the kingdom of Erebor from the great dragon Smaug.

My first remark following the midnight screening of Smaug was that I hated it almost as much as I loved it. That wasn't really fair, as the only thing I really hated about it was that I couldn't love it with the unbridled enthusiasm I've always had for the franchise.

I'm the type of gal who likes to get her bad news out of the way first, so here goes.

Clocking in at a mammoth two hours and 41 minutes, Desolation of Smaug is too damn long. Jackson was pushing his luck stretching this little book into two normal-sized movies, and three three-hour movies is just plain stupid. Theatrical cuts of the original LOTR trilogy pressed three hours each (with director's cuts craning towards four), but I wouldn't have changed a thing. Smaug, like An Unexpected Journey before it, is the worst example of Hollywood forgetting how to edit. There are numerous, repetitive action and fight sequences that, if they'd each been trimmed by only a few minutes, could have brought this in at a much more manageable two-fifteen or so.

There's some inexcusably bad CGI, particularly in fight scenes involving Elves.

While most of the actors turn in fine performances in large and small roles, Lee Pace is cringe-worthy. Evangeline Lilly is also kinda awful, but I wasn't sure whether to blame her or the character. The only other thing in which I've ever seen Evangeline Lilly is Real Steel, and she was out-acted by the robot...but, in fairness, so was just about everyone else. Anyway, on that note...

Let's talk about Tauriel. Peter Jackson is noted for fiddling with his source material, to the point it's almost a punch line, but if I don't love his changes they generally don't bother me too much, either; unfortunately, the way this insipid woman is shoehorned into the story is obvious and jarring. Bad enough they added an unnecessary character, but, really, this warrior, this general in the guard, instantly becomes a blushing, eyelash-batting idiot when addressed by a person she might half-fancy?? In the grand scheme of an almost-three-hour film, it's a tiny thing, but I'll be damned if it didn't almost ruin it for me.

In happier news, I still love Middle Earth, and, for the most part, Peter Jackson's vision of it.

Pace and Lilly aside, there's some great acting underneath all the wigs and prosthetic noses. Particularly moving are Richard Armitage and Ken Stott, as Thorin and Balin, when the company first lays eyes on Erebor. If it's taken you 'til now to notice how good Martin Freeman is, well, you can't pretend you don't notice anymore. James Nesbitt, the hidden gem among this company, is under-used but still has some good moments. Of course I would be remiss if I didn't make special mention two of my favorite people, Luke Evans and Aidan Turner, sharing a screen for the first (and hopefully not the last) time. Evans is featured as Bard, and, now that he's getting better films, you can see what I've been telling you all along: the guy is good! Though Turner is mostly exploited for his obscenely-good looks, he has a bit more individual screen time in Smaug, which does my little black heart good.

In the runup to this movie, fans' chief concern seemed to be that the dragon not disappoint, and I am pleased to say that Smaug is magnificent. This dragon is stunning to see and chilling to hear (thanks to some terrific voice work by Benedict Cumberbatch), the undoubted highlight of the film. The movie's 3D is mostly immaterial, but it's worth the upcharge to have this glorious beast right up in your face. However else this movie pleases or disappoints, casual and die-hard fans alike are bound to be awed by Smaug.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug runs 161 minutes and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence, and frightening images."

In the long run, I'm sure I will grow to love Desolation of Smaug as an important part of something that truly matters to me. After all, The Two Towers remains the weakest link of the original series, but a strong finish to this trilogy will similarly erase the negativity I'm now feeling. Still, for the moment, I'm not sure this is going to need that spot I've been saving in my year-end top ten.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug gets seven.

Until next time...



'Member, kids...I saw him first! ;-)

MOVIE REVIEW: THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage), his mighty band of dwarves, Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), and wise wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) embark on a crusade to reclaim Erebor from the vicious dragon Smaug (voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch) in this sweeping fantasy adventure that picks up where the events of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey left off. Peter Jackson (The Lord of the Rings trilogy) once again directs from a screenplay by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, and Guillermo del Toro. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Peter Jackson

Cast: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Benedict Cumberbatch, Evangeline Lilly.

Release Date: Dec 13, 2013 RealD 3D

Rated PG-13: Frightening Images and Fantasy Action Violence

Runtime: 2 hr. 40 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is a well made film through and through. It’s wonderfully shot and acted with a fanciful story that’s engaging with characters that we’ve come to know and root for. There are massive action set pieces like the barrel escape which is a visual feast which is just as fun as it’s thrilling. All this makes for an excellent film except for the most glaring issue at play, it’s unnecessarily bloated. It’s someth I was worried about since the film was already stretched from 2 movies into 3 and here it shows. The much talked about addition, Tauriel, feels about as tacked on as possible throughout. Her character and Evangeline Lilly’s performance aren’t terrible but they are rather pointless. There are plenty of scenes that feel stretched out throughout as if Jackson has a running bet that he’ll never make Middle Earth film that’s under 2 and half hours. The cast is all solid with the new additions and returning players from LOTR series slipping easily into their roles again. The supporting dwarfs are still a tad undeveloped; fleshing them out probably would have been a better way to use the screen time. Smaug is masterful CGI creation which really needs to be seen in IMAX 3D to fully appreciate. Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice work is stellar as expected even if I kept getting random flashback to the forgotten Dennis Quaid movie Dragonheart. When Smaug finally shows up he does pick up the pace a bit but by that point your butt numbness makes you wish there wasn’t another 40 minutes to go. Since this is the middle chapter of the series there’s not resolution to look forward to either so it leaves you hanging for the next 3 hour opus which will hit theaters next year and I’ll be there again.

B-

[Trailer] X-Men: Days of Future Past

That nerd screech you heard earlier today was just a normal reaction to the next big comic book movie on the horizon. After being revitalized by prequel/reboot X-Men: First Class, the franchise suddenly had some interesting avenues it could explore but most were surprised when it was announced they’d tackle the legendary Days of Future Past storyline helmed by Bryan Singer and mixing the old cast with the new one.

Personally, I think this might be a more daunting task than The Avengers because of how established the characters are in the old and new iterations. This first trailer gives us a glimpse into the ominous storyline with plenty of glimpse at the returning cast members, more so than the more recent incarnations. It’s not heavy on effects, most aren’t ready, which actually benefits the trailer getting me even more intrigued, check it out below…

[Official Main Trailer] The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The “Official Main Trailer” of the 2nd part of The Hobbit has just hit the internet. It’s appropriately epic in tone and scope. It also gives us our first full looks at the Legolas subplot, Luke Evans and Benedict Cumberbatch's Smaug, check it out below….

[Trailer] The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The international trailer of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug has just been released and it gives you all kinds of peeks at the 2nd installment.

We get our first live action peeks and Evangeline Lilly and Luke Evans (Who looks like Orlando Blood from The Pirates of the Caribbean movies) along with Smaug. I enjoyed the first entry more than I expected but after watching it again, it did feel stretched out, hopefully this entry will have a sleeker feel….

MOVIE REVIEW: THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY,

THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY IMAX 3D

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) lives a simple life with his fellow hobbits in the shire, until the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) arrives and convinces him to join a group of dwarves on a quest to reclaim the kingdom of Erebor. The journey takes Bilbo on a path through treacherous lands swarming with orcs, goblins and other dangers, not the least of which is an encounter with Gollum and a simple gold ring that is tied to the fate of Middle Earth in ways Bilbo cannot even fathom.

Director: Peter Jackson

Cast: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Ken Stott, Graham McTavish

Release Date: Dec 14, 2012

Rated PG-13 for extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence, and frightening images.

Runtime: 2 hr. 49 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

Watching Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey in IMAX 3D is a bit of an undertaking, it’s like trying to eat a cake in one bite. Trying to take in all the grandeur and majesty that Jackson poured onto the screen take some effort at first. It’s a film that has more than a few noticeable flaws but I found it far more accessible than the first Lord of the Rings film. Jackson, as he does when in Middle Earth, takes his time with everything, slowly acclimating us with the prequel story while laying the ground work for the Lord of the Ring story along the way. The opening portion of the film can be a bit of a bear to trudge through but once the story gets moving in earnest you’ll find yourself rather enveloped in a massive action piece after another one. The story’s more straightforward nature makes it easier to digest. Martin Freeman brings an instant likeability to the younger Bilbo. Freeman isn’t saddled with the angst Elijah Wood had to deal with as Frodo so he’s free to be a bit more easy going and easier to connect with. Richard Armitage is appropriately billow-chested and stoic as the leader of the dwarfs. Armitage fits the hero mold perfectly and he delivers fine work throughout. Ian McKellen returns to his role as Gandalf The Grey with noticeable ease. McKellen could have just phoned in his performance and honestly nobody would have complained but he takes the opportunity to add more layers of emotion and doubt to Gandalf The Grey. Thankfully, these three deliver strong performances because that’s it. The rest of the cast simply fades into the background; we barely know their names but not much else, only Ken Stott’s Balin gets a substantial scene. Even Bilbo fades into the background during the middle and first part of the final act. There are a handful of returning actors (along with Andy Serkis as Gollum) from the original trilogy, serving as threads leading into The Lord of Rings. I understand why Jackson felt the need to include them but they bring the main story’s forward momentum to a grinding halt. Lastly, the film suffers from the same issue the first 2 films from The Lord of the Rings, it’s merely an opening act and ends as such. The latter is to be expected and while there are a handful of issues The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey delivers an impressive cinematic experience which reminds you why certain films should be seen on a big screen.

B