MOVIE REVIEW: BLACK BAG

 

When his beloved wife, Kathryn, is suspected of betraying the nation, intelligence agent George Woodhouse faces the ultimate test -- loyalty to his marriage or his country.

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Cast: Cate Blanchett, Michael Fassbender, Marisa Abela, Tom Burke, Naomie Harris, Regé-Jean Page, Pierce Brosnan

Release Date: March 14, 2025

Genre: Drama, Thriller

Rated R for language including some sexual references, and some violence.

Runtime: 1h 33m

Review:

Steven Soderbergh's sleek spy thriller crackles off the screen thanks to a pitch perfect script and stellar turns from its cast.  Soderbergh's film instantly pops off the screen with its stylized aesthetic that gives every shot and the film overall a certain verve that's infectious.  This film has no interest in being gritty in any shape or form as every person and locale looks like it was lifted from a fashion catalogue.  As a spy thriller, it’s more of a throwback to old school films that focus more on the machinations at play than large scale carnage.  David Koepp's script provides the cast with plenty of meaty dialogue that moves from biting and wry to sexy with incredible ease.  Cate Blanchett and Michael Fassbender are perfectly in their element as the central spy spouses who may or may not be hiding something from each other.  Blanchett's statuesque frame and refined voice make her an imposing figure that can inspire a bevy of emotions with a simple look.  Fassbender, on the other end, plays his character much more analytically and cerebrally as you watch him dissect every person and moment throughout.  They share a wonderful, believable chemistry onscreen that makes their deep emotional connection ring true even through all the deceptions that are part of their lives.  Marisa Abela leaves a strong impression as a firecracker of a data analyst who's ensnared in a larger plot but proves to be more than capable of standing on her own volition.  Regé-Jean Page, Tom Burke and Naomie Harris all have smaller supporting roles with each leaving their mark in their limited screentime.  Pierce Brosnan has what amounts to an extended cameo as the section chief and serves a bit of a garnish to the decadent dish that Soderbergh delivers with Black Bag.

A

MOVIE REVIEW: BORDERLANDS

 

Returning to her home planet Pandora, an infamous bounty hunter forms an unexpected alliance with a ragtag team of misfits. Together, they battle alien monsters and dangerous bandits to uncover one of Pandora's most explosive secrets.

Director: Eli Roth

Cast: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Édgar Ramírez, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Gina Gershon, Jamie Lee Curtis

Release Date: August 9, 2024

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and some suggestive material.

Runtime: 1h 42m

Review:

Borderlands isn't the worst film I've seen this year, but it is the most generic and tiring thing splashed onscreen thus far.  Everything about Eli Roth's film feels like a rehash of other far better films.  Its continuously loud and over the top to the point of exhaustion with the uneven special effects killing any campy fun that might be had.  The story is straightforward and simplistic, which should be more than enough for the top notch cast to deliver some semblance of fun onscreen.  Sadly, there are only a few fleeting moments of life and fun scattered throughout the film's brisk runtime.  Cate Blanchett swaggers onscreen with a self assured confidence that makes her the most interesting person onscreen at any given time due to the sheer fact that an actress of her caliber is trying to carry this shlocky, soulless film decked out in full anime cosplay.  She seems to have a good time as she recites clunky lines of dialogue with a devil may care detachment which shows she's more than game to go full camp throughout.  Unfortunately, everybody else onscreen is annoying or obnoxious, specifically Ariana Greenblatt and Jack Black being particularly grating.   Only Kevin Hart appears to be comfortable in this sphere, but his character is written as the straight man for some confounding reason.  Édgar Ramírez and Jamie Lee Curtis are both over the top but their characters, much like everyone else onscreen are so underwritten that they barely register.  Borderlands is the type of film that will end up in heavy rotation on TNT/TBS weekend loops serving as little more than background noise.   

D

MOVIE REVIEW: TAR

 

Renowned musician Lydia Tár is days away from recording the symphony that will elevate her career. When all elements seem to conspire against her, Lydia's adopted daughter Petra becomes an integral emotional support for her struggling mother.

Director: Todd Field

Cast: Cate Blanchett, Noémie Merlant, Nina Hoss, Sophie Kauer, Julian Glover, Allan Corduner, Mark Strong

Release Date: October 7, 2022

Genre: Drama, Music

Rated R for some language and brief nudity

Runtime: 2h 38m

Review:

Todd Field's Tár is an immersive and engaging character study lead by a singular turn from Cate Blanchett.  Field's film is a methodical trek into the central character's life, dropping bits and pieces of narrative and themes along the way.  It's a masterclass in subtly as quieter moments and more charged moments are all so densely packed with meaning that it requires your attention throughout.  There's a glossy veneer presented from the onset of the film but there's also an unsettling, disquieting undercurrent that's every present until its final act where things begin to unravel.  Cate Blanchett disappears into her character with incredible ease.  This performance isn't your typical awards showcase that requires big showy moments instead this is a case study in nuance.  It's the kind of performance where looks shared between characters delivers volumes worth of information.  Blanchett owns every moment she's on screen and its film from start to finish but the supporting cast is just as dialed in with each making the most of their screen time.  Once Tár heads into its final act the script and cast deliver some surprising moments which feel organic and earned, a credit to the level of craftmanship from both sides of the camera.  

A

MOVIE REVIEW: NIGHTMARE ALLEY

 

In 1940s New York, down-on-his-luck Stanton Carlisle endears himself to a clairvoyant and her mentalist husband at a traveling carnival. Using newly acquired knowledge, Carlisle crafts a golden ticket to success by swindling the elite and wealthy. Hoping for a big score, he soon hatches a scheme to con a dangerous tycoon with help from a mysterious psychiatrist who might be his most formidable opponent yet.

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Cast:  Bradley Cooper, Cate Blanchett, Toni Collette, Willem Dafoe, Richard Jenkins, Rooney Mara, Ron Perlman, Mary Steenburgen, David Strathairn

Release Date: December 17, 2021

Genre: Action, Crime, Drama, Thriller

Rated R for strong/bloody violence, some sexual content, nudity and language

Runtime: 2h 30m

Review:

Guillermo del Toro's Nightmare Alley is a lavishly directed film noir morality tale that's as engrossing as it is engaging.  Del Toro channel's plenty of classic noir films in this remake of the 1947 original while adding his own personal twist.  The visually lean heavily on art deco designs with tinges of the macabre which fits with Del Toro's style.  Bradley Cooper is at the center of the film and does impressively well as the charlatan who drives the film.  Cooper's performance transforms as the character evolves over the course of the film's runtime with broad and occasionally more subtle choices.  It's a fascinating performance that blooms as the film moves on.  Willem Dafoe, Toni Collette and David Strathairn carry the majority of the supporting load in the first half of the film with each leaving a strong impression before the scene shifts.  The second half though belongs to Cate Blanchett who's the defacto femme fatale of the piece.  Blanchett's angelic yet menacing face fits the role perfectly as she delivers lines with steely precision and intensity.  This film is an actor's playground which makes its leisurely pacing easier to digest as you appreciate the performances on display.  Nightmare Alley isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea but for those who can appreciate meticulous filmmaking with top notch performances will find plenty to love here.  

A-

Cindy Prascik's Review of The House With a Clock in Its Walls

Dearest Blog: Though the weekend cinema offered little of any promise, Friday I headed up to Marquee Cinemas for The House With a Clock in Its Walls.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

A boy comes to live with his uncle in a creepy old house that holds a dangerous secret.

 

Mama always said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." While that might not be *entirely* possible, we'll start with the positives here. The House With a Clock in Its Walls looks gorgeous. The score and cinematography set an eerie, magical tone that briefly gave me hope the film might be better than I anticipated. Cate Blanchett is mesmerizing, even punching well below her weight class, and, though the execution fails, the story itself is reasonably solid. The negatives, starting with the obvious: Kid actors are a crapshoot. Very few are good; more often you just hope they aren't bad enough or featured enough to be distracting. Owen Vaccaro is both bad enough and featured enough to be distracting, and Jack Black is more annoying than quirky or amusing as his oddball uncle. The last quarter of the movie features some inexplicably hokey effects, and, while the humor is rarely crass, a handful of bodily-function jokes aren't funny and certainly don't elevate the whole. The picture hadn’t reached its halfway point before the only clock I cared about was the one that would tell me it was over.

 

The House With a Clock in Its Walls runs 104 minutes and is rated PG for "thematic elements, including sorcery, some action, scary images, rude humor, and language."

 

The House With a Clock in Its Walls represents a sad misfire on what should have become a Halloween-season classic. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The House With a Clock in Its Walls gets four.

 

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Ocean's 8 & Hotel Artemis

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Oceans 8 and Hotel Artemis, or, how best to waste some of the most talented, interesting, and beautiful actors working today.

Spoiler level here will be mild, almost nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. (I'm giving away one (1) cameo from Oceans 8. If you don't want to know, read after you've seen it.)

First on the docket: Oceans 8.

Debbie Ocean carries on the family tradition with an all-female crew, because in 2018 Hollywood, gender-bent versions of old movies pass for new content. For the record, let it be noted that Karina and I had the idea for an all-male Charlie's Angels YEARS ago and will expect full credit when the time inevitably comes. (It's gonna be All Chris, too: Evans, Hemsworth, and Pine or Pratt...we're still agreeing to disagree there.)

Oceans 8 isn't really a good movie, nor is it a terrible movie. The one thing it absolutely *should* be is a fun movie, but, sadly, instead it's rather dull. Bad news out of the way first: These characters are AWFUL...caricatures unworthy of the least of the actresses to embody them, nevermind the goddess that is Helena Bonham Carter. The dialogue is especially awkward at the start, though it improves slightly as the movie progresses. The humor is also spotty, occasionally amusing is about as good as it gets. Even the heist itself is a letdown; it seems clever, yet its execution never feels as edge-of-your-seat as it should.

The good news is Oceans 8 is a pretty easy watch despite all that, thanks to terrific eye candy. If you're thinking I mean the lovely ladies, you're right, but the picture is also set during the annual Met Gala and is filled with all the unique and stunning fashions for which the event is famous. Then there's Richard Armitage, certainly not hard on the eyes. Call me shallow, but the combination was more than enough to hold my interest. If looking out for cameos is your bag, Oceans 8 has plenty of those too, so keep those eyes open. (Move over Kardashians, my favorite was Junior's Cheesecake!)

Oceans 8 clocks in at 110 minutes and is rated PG13 for "language, drug use, and some suggestive content."

With a lesser cast, Oceans 8 would be a passable but forgettable bit of summer escapism. Even as sub-par as it is, there are worse things than than watching some of Hollywood's best actresses punching below their weight. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Oceans 8 gets four and a half.

Next up: Hotel Artemis.

In riot-plagued 2028 Los Angeles, a nurse runs a secret, members-only hospital for criminals.

Dear reader(s): Though it's nearly impossible to do in the Internet age, I went into Hotel Artemis cold, save for one headline that crossed my Twitter feed early yesterday: "What Made Jodie Foster Agree to Star in the Worst Movie of the Year?" So...lowered expectations, then?

I feel like I can't be the only one who's at least a little bit over the whole dystopian thing, but Hotel Artemis seemed an interesting enough idea, and a cast that features Jodie Foster, Jeff Goldblum, Sterling K. Brown, Zachary Quinto, Sofia Boutella, and Charlie Day sounds can't-miss. Sadly, like Oceans 8, Hotel Artemis gives its incredible talent only cookie-cutter characters to work with. Even the good guys are unlikable, though (with very limited screen time) Jeff Goldblum is a delight as one of the baddies. If you're squeamish about violence or language, you'll want to check in somewhere else, but if you don't mind a side of blood and F-bombs with your action and criminal machinations, Hotel Artemis is the place for you.

Hotel Artemis runs a quick 93 minutes and is rated R for "violence and language throughout, some sexual references, and brief drug use."

Hotel Artemis takes an interesting premise and turns it into a by-the-numbers thriller. It's not fair to call it the year's worst movie, but it's certainly nowhere near its best. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hotel Artemis gets five.

Until next time...

Ar

MOVIE REVIEW: OCEAN’S 8

Five years, eight months, 12 days and counting -- that's how long Debbie Ocean has been devising the biggest heist of her life. She knows what it's going to take -- a team of the best people in the field, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller. Together, they recruit a crew of specialists, including jeweler Amita, street con Constance, suburban mom Tammy, hacker Nine Ball, and fashion designer Rose. Their target -- a necklace that's worth more than $150 million.

Director: Gary Ross

Cast: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Awkwafina, Rihanna, Helena Bonham Carter

Release Date: June 8, 2018

Genres: Action, Comedy, Crime

Rated PG-13 for language, drug use, and some suggestive content

Runtime: 1h 50min

Review:

Ocean’s 8, the female centeric continuation of the Ocean franchise, is an enjoyable but safe reboot.  Gary Ross tries his best to capture that cool vibe and spirit of the original film.  He delivers a glossy fizzy film that that’s about as lightweight as they come.  Sandra Bullock leads the film ably even if her Debbie Ocean is a far call from Clooney’s Danny Ocean.  Bullock performance is fine but the film undersells its lead without much characterization, leaving her a bit of a cipher throughout.  Cate Blanchett, ever the chameleon, is lots of fun as Bullock’s partner in crime.  Blanchett and Bullock have some solid chemistry together and their plenty of fun when they’re plotting or interacting.  The remaining members of the crew are all good fun in varying degrees of effectiveness.  Anne Hathaway leaves the biggest impression with her self parody performance that people will either love or hate.  Ocean’s 8 is never boring or uninteresting but it’s all so inconsequential that you’ll probably never think about it again.

B-

MOVIE REVIEW: THOR: RAGNAROK

Imprisoned on the other side of the universe, the mighty Thor finds himself in a deadly gladiatorial contest that pits him against the Hulk, his former ally and fellow Avenger. Thor's quest for survival leads him in a race against time to prevent the all-powerful Hela from destroying his home world and the Asgardian civilization.

Director: Taika Waititi

Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Mark Ruffalo, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum

Release Date: Nov 03, 2017

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Rated R for language throughout and some sexuality/nudity

Review:

Thor: Ragnarok is a much needed infusion of originality in the Marvel cinematic juggernaut.  Most the Marvel movies are enjoyable but tend to lean towards formulaic plots outside of some rare exceptions.  Thor: Ragnarock is a solid step outside of the tried and true Marvel formula delivering a huge dose of wacky fun.  Taika Waititi delivers a film brimming with fun from start to finish.  It’s a Technicolor fever dream that feels like a thoroughly enjoyable acid trip.  Stripping away the self serious tone of most comic book movies and going for a more comedic tone pay huge dividends.  Chris Hemsworth has always been a strong comedic actor and this slant plays well for him.  As a result, Hemsworth is free to deliver his best “Mimbo” interpretation of Thor.  The supporting cast embraces the lighter tone and everyone seems to be having a ball.  Tom Hiddleston keeps Loki interesting while lightening him up a bit.  Mark Ruffalo and Tessa Thompson are great counter balance to Hemsworth’s Thor with both doing strong work.  Cate Blanchett gleefully vamps it up as primary villain this go around.  If there’s a bit of a negative about Blanchett’s character it’s that she’s not given much to do except wait for Thor to come back to Asgard so they can get to the final battle.  It’s a real shame because she’s really impressive in her screentime, it would have really made the film even better had she’d been given something more substantial to do.  It’s a minor quibble for the film which really is one of most fun superhero films of the year.

A-

April Sokol's Reviews of Thor: Ragnarok & A Bad Moms Christmas

Hello readers!

This weekend was a big movie deal. Two big hit movies in the making both opened and so without further ado, to the theater I went.

First up was Thor: Ragnarok.

Thor: Ragnarok is the latest installment in the immensely popular Marvel Universe.

Directed by Taika Waititi

Run time is 2hr 10 min

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Mark Ruffalo, Cate Blanchett, Tessa Thompson. Karl Urban, Idris Elba and Anthony Hopkins

Thor Ragnarok is the seventeenth offering in the Marvel Universe. So the players are well known and broken in. While a lot of familiar faces abound (super quick fan girl shoutout to the adorable Matt Damon cameo) Thor Ragnarok introduces some new faces to the Marvel world. First and most impressive is the stunning Cate Blanchett. Cate chews her way through every second of screen time she's given. Gorgeous, powerful and absolutely deadly, Hela is just 100% joy to watch. I can feel all of next year's Hela Halloween costumes springing to life as I type this. We're also introduced to Valkyrie, a member of an all female warrior squad played to perfection by Tessa Thompson. I'm glad to see that someone seems to have gotten the memo that we are loving these strong woman characters. That high that so many women felt after Wonder Woman is going to be back after this.

Mark Ruffalo is back doing his thing as Bruce Banner/The Hulk. He's always so solid I hope people aren't taking him for granted. We finally get more of Idris Elba as Heimdall. Unfortunately he is STILL absolutely wasted in this role.  The PG 13 rating felt correct as there was comic book violence but certainly nothing to genuinely frighten the little members of the audience.

Thor Ragnarok feels quite a bit referential to Guardians of the Galaxy for me. Same level of laughter. Funny quirky characters portrayed on a stunning canvas. Queue the fight scene with iconic 70s rock song and it's almost too on the nose....but I found that I still enjoyed the ride. This isn't new ground for Mavel. This is what a fast ball right down the middle of their fanbase feels like.

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

And the answer to the question I always have at Marvel movies....2...there are 2 in credit scenes. You're welcome.


Next I moved down the hall to the highly anticipated (by me) A Bad Moms Christmas

Directed by: Jon Lucas and Scott Moore

Starring: Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn, Christine Baranski, Susan Sarandon, Cheryl Hines, Jay Hernandez and Peter Gallagher

Running time of 1hr 44 min. It is Rated R for crude sexual content and language throughout, and some drug use

My review:

Ok America. It's time. We can't seem to agree on much of anything as a country anymore. But I think we need to come together as 1 nation and appreciate the sheer brilliance that is Chrstine Baranski. Has she ever been anything less than flawless...ever? I think not. However much she is making, it's certainly not enough. Can we make this a thing?

We pick up shortly after our last adventure with the suburban Moms as Christmas is upon them. Of course they're all over worked, over stressed, under appreciated and exhausted....aren't we all? Every single Mom in America is going to find something familiar in these women. Lots of laughs and another chance for a really beautiful friend tribe to shine here. The biggest take away for me is how these women are so very true to life. These are my friends and family. This is actually how we talk when we get together. I do not know a single parent who actually deep down believes that they're not screwing it all up in some way. It's nice to be reminded of our shared humanity.

If you loved the first Bad Moms movie, you'll almost certainly enjoy this as well. This is a wonderful case of a bunch of actors really seeming to enjoy their work. You will smile. You will laugh. And you will want to have drinks with your best friends ASAP when the credits roll.

Bonus points to those who stay through the credits to realize that Peter Gallagher is actually the best dancer of the whole bunch. Who knew?! I give A Bad Moms Christmas a solid 4 out of 5 stars.

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Geostorm & Thor: Ragnarok

Dearest Blog: Yesterday I ended my week's vacation at Marquee Cinemas with a double-bill of Geostorm (finally) and Thor: Ragnarok. 

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or a quick check of the IMDB cast listings.

 

First on the docket: a delayed screening of Geostorm.

 

When a satellite controlling extreme weather events is sabotaged, it's up to its prickly creator to make nice and go fix it.

 

Dear reader(s): Having missed two weekends at the cinema (!!!), I'm a little late to the Geostorm party, so I won't be the first to inform you the movie features a stupidly implausible plot, inane dialogue, and second-rate performances. What I may be the first to tell you is that I haven't had as much fun at the cinema in months. Indeed, Geostorm is the only picture in recent memory to render me totally oblivious to the outside world for a couple hours.

 

There's no denying Geostorm is a pretty bad movie by almost any quality barometer; it's Sharknado-level idiocy on a big-screen budget. Meathead extraordinaire Gerard Butler is the ideal hero for such a film, delivering a performance on par with "shepherd number two" in the third-grade Christmas pageant. Jim Sturgess and Abbie Cornish are even more laughable, and you really have to wonder how Ed Harris and Andy Garcia got talked into this. (My guess is blackmail. It's the only thing that makes sense.) The story plays out in predictably silly fashion, with painfully obvious "twists" and every cartoonish character behaving exactly as you'd expect. The good news is all that isn't really bad news because Geostorm knows exactly what it is, and thus couldn't be any more enjoyable. Throw in some solid disaster effects and a timely (if cheesy) message, and you've got a hilariously terrible outing that may well be the best time I've had at the movies in 2017.

 

Geostorm clocks in at 109 minutes and is rated PG13 for "destruction, action, and violence."

Geostorm is the best bad movie I've seen in a good long while. Of a possible nine Weasleys, I am exercising great restraint in awarding Geostorm only seven.

 

Fangirl points: Ohmygosh you guys, Robert Sheehan is in this movie!!

 

Next on my agenda: Thor: Ragnarok.

 

And you thought Loki was the bad sibling.

 

My usual Marvel disclaimer: For the most part I don't think Marvel movies are anything special; rather, they're enjoyed and quickly forgotten. The notable exception is Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which stands alone in its greatness, but, as series go, the Thor movies are always my Marvel faves. Ragnarok gives me no reason to change either of those opinions: Marvel movies are still nothing special, but the Thor series remains my favorite.

 

Getting the bad news out of the way first: Thor: Ragnarok feels about twelve hours long. I wouldn't say I was bored, but...well...for some of it I wouldn't exactly say I wasn't, either. The battle scenes didn't seem as repetitive or overlong as most Marvel movies (lookin' squarely at YOU, Avengers!), but, my god, it felt like I was sitting there forever. Luckily, that's about the only really bad thing I have to say about the film. Ragnarok isn't a funny superhero movie; it's a straight-up comedy about a superhero, fully self-aware. No shoe-horning in a Tony Stark wisecrack every 20 minutes, Ragnarok is organically hilarious. Trippy 70s effects, a bit reminiscent of Doctor Strange, are particularly well-suited to this outing, giving it the feel of an old-school arcade game. Chris Hemsworth (sadly shirtless only once) isn't just a perfectly-sculpted hero, he's legitimately funny, with great comic timing and terrific expressions. The supporting cast is filled with names that, on their own, are enough to draw me to any picture: Idris Elba, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Karl Urban, Cate Blanchett...and--OH!--this is Cate as you haven't seen her before! Hiddleston's Loki remains the best thing about any Thor movie, but it's Cate's Hela who steals the show here, and whose pics you'll be Googling for your new phone wallpaper as soon as the credits roll (or was that just me?). Triple bonus points for carrying Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song from the trailer into the film itself--not just once, but twice!--a musical move so inspired as to be almost Edgar-Wrightish in its perfection.

Thor: Ragnarok runs 130 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action and brief suggestive material."

 

Thor: Ragnarok is another fun outing in Marvel's best series. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Thor: Ragnarok gets eight.

 

Fangirl points: Hey, Bruce Banner, you're lookin' mighty fine in that Duran Duran shirt!

 

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Carol & Room

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to catch a couple Oscar hopefuls before they beat a hasty path out of town. On the docket: Carol and Room.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn’t know from the trailers if you’ve seen any (which I haven’t).

 

Dear Reader(s), Awards Season is a funny thing here in Smalltown, USA. Unless you’ve got yourself a freakishly-realistic bear attack, your picture may expect a run of about seven days. Thus I found myself at the movies on a Wednesday afternoon in January, watching two films that interested me about as much as one of those “Real Housewives” shows. First on my agenda: Carol. 

 

A young photographer falls for a sophisticated older woman. 

 

Ahhhh…forbidden love. It always sounds just a bit tawdry, doesn’t it? While Carol tells the tale of an affair that was, for the time, utterly impossible, there’s not a hint of dirtiness about it. The romance is a slow burner, with not even a kiss before the movie’s midway point, and the major love scene is as sterile as an operating theatre. 

 

Respect for the subject matter is appreciated, but a taboo affair should feel at least a little dangerous. There are also some weird shots that linger so long as to be almost comical. That’s the bad news is. 

 

The good news is, Carol is a lovely story, slowly paced but never dull. The family drama is well-played, and fleshes out our love story without feeling like an intrusion. 

 

Should Cate Blanchett go home with Oscar on The Big Night, the Academy will undoubtedly be accused of choosing old-and-safe over young-and-edgy (again), but, for my money, she is deserving. 

 

Rooney Mara is equally extraordinary and moving. For all its deliberate pace, the movie never feels long, and, a superhero fangirl stuck in a grownup movie even has a *squee* moment when Cory Michael Smith (Gotham’s Edward Nygma) turns up, so there’s that. 

 

Carol runs 118 minutes and is rated R for “a scene of sexuality/nudity and brief language.” 

 

Carol is a beautiful love story that boasts some very special performances, and, like The Danish Girl, provides nice reminders of how far we’ve come and how far we’ve yet to go. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Carol gets six.

 

Next up: Room.

 

A young woman who bore a son while being held captive attempts to recover from her ordeal, while the boy experiences the outside world for the first time.

 

In the interest of full and fair disclosure, I’ll always admit when a movie’s main or only problem is that it’s not “my thing.” Room is most certainly not my thing (nor is Carol, for that matter), but it’s got much bigger problems. 

 

The first ten minutes of Room are so insufferable that it was all I could do not to walk out. Most of the first half is barely watchable, and not remotely in the way a capable telling of this harrowing story might make itself unwatchable. 

 

Rather than sympathizing with characters that should be very sympathetic, I was bored and even annoyed with them. The film picks up somewhat once it puts “Room” in its rearview, which might be attributed to happier subject matter or simply to more going on. 

 

I attribute it mostly to Joan Allen, a great actress who elevates anything that’s lucky enough to have her. Brie Larson is as good as you’ve heard, though not my Best Actress winner, if the Academy gives me a vote. (Hint: it does not.) 

 

Kid actors are never less than a risky proposition, and, while it may seem unfair to place such a big burden on such small shoulders, it’s youngster Jacob Trembley who ultimately could have made Room fully engaging, but, sadly, does not. 

 

There are a fair few emotionally wrenching moments where you think the film might be finding its feet, but it overstays its welcome so badly that those are barely remembered by the time the picture reaches its longed-for conclusion.

 

Room clocks in at 118 minutes, and is rated R for “language.”

 

Room is this year’s Boyhood, an unjustified critical darling for what it should have been more than for what it is. 

 

Maybe next time they should consult Tommy Wiseau. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Room gets three.

 

Until next time…

Cindy Prascik's The Lego Movie & The Monuments Men

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the cinema for two flicks about which I'd been very excited: The Lego Movie and The Monuments Men.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

So, dear Blog, you may ask WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING going to the Lego Movie on a Saturday afternoon that was nice enough for people to GET out, but not nice enough for people to BE out, thus ensuring I'd be sharing the experience with a roomful of kids? I suppose my answer would be: No. Earthly. Idea.

The Lego Movie follows an ordinary Lego guy on his adventure as he tries to save the universe from an evil Lego tyrant...with a little help from some familiar Lego faces.

The Lego Movie was, indeed, packed wall-to-wall with young 'uns (including two birthday parties, if my eavesdropping skills are accurate). They talked, they ran around, they slammed into my seat, and one little boy directly in front of me stood, hand on hip, waving his drink at his mother and yelling, "There's no straw!" until I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one considering stuffing him in the bin. That being said, they didn't ruin the movie for me, which can mean only one thing: it's a damn good movie.

The Lego Movie is, first and foremost, a unique experience; the art and animation are extraordinary. This is a movie that grabs your attention in the first minute and never lets go, and I think that would be the case even if nobody ever said a word. Luckily, the little Lego people do say words, and they're funny words at that. The Lego Movie is "family entertainment" that really does entertain the whole family and, while my 200 kidlets brought down the house over pantsless Lego people, there were plenty of jokes for the grownups, too. The cast is comprised of notable folks that, even if you don't know their names, you'll surely know their voices. Will Arnett is particularly effective as a grumpy, Bale-esque Batman, and Charlie Day's spastic 80s robot is a treat. The movie smartly doesn't wear out its welcome, and I think I speak for the 200 kids when I say it left us all wanting more.

The Lego Movie clocks in at 100 minutes and is rated PG for "mild action and rude humor."

Though 2014's Oscars haven't even been handed out yet, it's hard for me to imagine something that's going to beat this as Best Animated Feature at 2015's. (Disclaimer: With How to Train Your Dragon 2 on the way this year, I fully anticipate having to eat those words.) Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Lego Movie gets seven and a half.

The second half of yesterday's double-feature was George Clooney's The Monuments Men, based on the true story of a group of unlikely soldiers tasked with saving stolen art from the Nazis and returning it to its rightful owners.

When I first started seeing trailers for The Monuments Men, the cast and the subject matter had me thinking it would be an awards-season favorite. The release date and the Internet (which never lies, right?) tell me that's not the case, and for the life of me, I just don't get why not.

While it may be about as historically accurate as Argo, The Monuments Men does its job as a movie; it presents a relevant, interesting story in an entertaining way. The film moves at a good pace, holds your attention for the duration, and reinforces a message that's important even 70 years later. In addition to Clooney (who also handled directing and co-writing duties), the terrific cast includes Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin (that's "dude from The Artist that I'm still mad at for stealing Gary Oldman's Oscar," in case anyone didn't know), Hugh Bonneville, and Bob Balaban. It's a smart, moving, and, yes, sometimes funny look at a not-at-all-funny historical event, and the reaction around my theatre tells me I'm not the only one who thinks it's getting shortchanged by critics.

The Monuments Men runs 118 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some images of war violence and historical smoking." (Is that really a thing..."historical smoking??")

While it may not be setting the world on fire like the Oscar-hopeful it once seemed, for my money, The Monuments Men is a total success, no less entertaining for having an important point. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Monuments Men gets seven.

So, dear Blog, that's all the news that's fit to print for now. Next weekend brings the year's first Gary Oldman Cinema Experience, so there will be swooning a-plenty on this front.

Until next time...



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