Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Ocean's 8 & Hotel Artemis

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Oceans 8 and Hotel Artemis, or, how best to waste some of the most talented, interesting, and beautiful actors working today.

Spoiler level here will be mild, almost nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. (I'm giving away one (1) cameo from Oceans 8. If you don't want to know, read after you've seen it.)

First on the docket: Oceans 8.

Debbie Ocean carries on the family tradition with an all-female crew, because in 2018 Hollywood, gender-bent versions of old movies pass for new content. For the record, let it be noted that Karina and I had the idea for an all-male Charlie's Angels YEARS ago and will expect full credit when the time inevitably comes. (It's gonna be All Chris, too: Evans, Hemsworth, and Pine or Pratt...we're still agreeing to disagree there.)

Oceans 8 isn't really a good movie, nor is it a terrible movie. The one thing it absolutely *should* be is a fun movie, but, sadly, instead it's rather dull. Bad news out of the way first: These characters are AWFUL...caricatures unworthy of the least of the actresses to embody them, nevermind the goddess that is Helena Bonham Carter. The dialogue is especially awkward at the start, though it improves slightly as the movie progresses. The humor is also spotty, occasionally amusing is about as good as it gets. Even the heist itself is a letdown; it seems clever, yet its execution never feels as edge-of-your-seat as it should.

The good news is Oceans 8 is a pretty easy watch despite all that, thanks to terrific eye candy. If you're thinking I mean the lovely ladies, you're right, but the picture is also set during the annual Met Gala and is filled with all the unique and stunning fashions for which the event is famous. Then there's Richard Armitage, certainly not hard on the eyes. Call me shallow, but the combination was more than enough to hold my interest. If looking out for cameos is your bag, Oceans 8 has plenty of those too, so keep those eyes open. (Move over Kardashians, my favorite was Junior's Cheesecake!)

Oceans 8 clocks in at 110 minutes and is rated PG13 for "language, drug use, and some suggestive content."

With a lesser cast, Oceans 8 would be a passable but forgettable bit of summer escapism. Even as sub-par as it is, there are worse things than than watching some of Hollywood's best actresses punching below their weight. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Oceans 8 gets four and a half.

Next up: Hotel Artemis.

In riot-plagued 2028 Los Angeles, a nurse runs a secret, members-only hospital for criminals.

Dear reader(s): Though it's nearly impossible to do in the Internet age, I went into Hotel Artemis cold, save for one headline that crossed my Twitter feed early yesterday: "What Made Jodie Foster Agree to Star in the Worst Movie of the Year?" So...lowered expectations, then?

I feel like I can't be the only one who's at least a little bit over the whole dystopian thing, but Hotel Artemis seemed an interesting enough idea, and a cast that features Jodie Foster, Jeff Goldblum, Sterling K. Brown, Zachary Quinto, Sofia Boutella, and Charlie Day sounds can't-miss. Sadly, like Oceans 8, Hotel Artemis gives its incredible talent only cookie-cutter characters to work with. Even the good guys are unlikable, though (with very limited screen time) Jeff Goldblum is a delight as one of the baddies. If you're squeamish about violence or language, you'll want to check in somewhere else, but if you don't mind a side of blood and F-bombs with your action and criminal machinations, Hotel Artemis is the place for you.

Hotel Artemis runs a quick 93 minutes and is rated R for "violence and language throughout, some sexual references, and brief drug use."

Hotel Artemis takes an interesting premise and turns it into a by-the-numbers thriller. It's not fair to call it the year's worst movie, but it's certainly nowhere near its best. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hotel Artemis gets five.

Until next time...

Ar

Cindy Prascik' s Review of Money Monster

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the entertaining-as-it-is-depressing Money Monster. 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or if you've personally been hosed in the Market, I guess. 

When one of his stock tips proves to be a bust, a brash TV presenter and his crew are taken hostage by an unhappy investor. Money Monster is a bit hokey at times, but that's about its only shortcoming. 

Blessed with two of Hollywood's most capable and engaging leads, George Clooney and Julia Roberts, and edge-of-your-seat storytelling, the movie grabs your attention and does not let go. 

Jack O'Connell is also terrific, and it's a credit to his performance how easily you'll begin to side with the guy waving the gun around. 

Money Monster expertly maintains tension throughout, spelled with perfectly-timed humor, and is smart enough not to wear out its welcome. 

The movie's very obvious message is about greed and corruption, but also paints an uncomfortable picture of today's society, as as the hostage situation plays out on live television as "entertainment." 

Money Monster clocks in at a smart 98 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout, some sexuality, and brief violence." It may not bring much new to the table, but Money Monster is an exciting and well-acted picture that's well worth your movie dollar. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Money Monster gets seven (and fangirl points for Giancarlo Esposito). 

Until next time... 

MOVIE REVIEW: ELYSIUM

In a future in which the privileged reside on an Earth-orbiting space station named Elysium and the less fortunate live on the surface of the blighted, overpopulated planet below, one man dares to defy the strict anti-immigration laws that separate the two disparate worlds in order to save all of mankind in this visceral sci-fi action thriller from District 9 director Neill Blomkamp. Alice Braga, Diego Luna, William Fichtner, and Faran Tahir, Sharlto Copley co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Neill Blomkamp

Cast: Matt Damon, Alice Braga, Jodie Foster, Faran Tahir, William Fichtner, Sharlto Copley

Release Date: Aug 09, 2013

Rated R for Strong Bloody Violence and Language Throughout

Runtime: 1 hr. 49 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama

Review:

Neill Blomkamp’s follow up to District 9 is heavy on allegory but surprisingly light on plot. It’s a steady effective and exciting sci-fi film which is full of cool gadgets and intense action. Blomkamp though is content to take us on a guide tour through this dystopia as we follow Damon’s damaged hero on his journey. We get some glimpses into this world but the film only scratches the surface of themes and systems presented. Additionally there are a handful of plot holes present specifically the final resolution. I would have preferred a headier film, Elysium deliver plenty of spectacle throughout pepper with some impressively graphic violence. Damon’s delivers solid work as usual even though the script doesn’t give him much meat to chew on. Flashbacks, usually heavy hand and unnecessary, give the character a bit of depth and motivation but it’s all fairly routine. To his credit, Damon is strong enough to make us care about his character throughout. Jodie Foster though is surprisingly bad as the primary villain. She sports a distractingly bad French accent while spouting out some terribly clunky dialogue which never hits the mark. Sharlto Copley fares much better as the maniacal Kruger. Copley gives his character a crazed energy which makes him the most interesting thing on screen whenever he’s on it. Blomkamp is working with a bigger budget than he did on his first film and he leaves it all onscreen. As a result the film flies with nary a lag in the action. I just wish it was a slightly deeper excursion.

B

Cindy Prascik’s Reviews of Elysium / Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the cinema as usual. On the bill: Elysium and Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up was Elysium, Neill Blomkamp's followup to the critically acclaimed District 9.
In the not-so-distant future, most folks live on a ruined Earth that's long on people and short on resources. The wealthy, however, spend their days on a luxurious outpost called Elysium, where there's no pollution, sickness, crime, or other unpleasantness. Circumstances force Max (Matt Damon) to try to get to Elysium at any cost, but his efforts could have a lasting impact on both sides of society.

I think District 9 is a masterpiece, plain and simple, so to suggest my expectations for Elysium were ridiculous would be fair enough. Even though the movie doesn't quite meet them, it's still pretty impressive.

There's nothing subtle about Elysium's message--the imbalance between rich and poor--but I never felt like it beat me over the head with it, either, probably because it never pretends otherwise. The plot is reasonably engaging and the runtime is sensible enough that you don't get bored.

It would be misleading to say Elysium is a beautiful movie, because nothing could be further from the truth. Elysium, of course, looks like a pleasant place to live, but isn't any prettier on screen than the average golf course. The futuristic vision of Earth is grungy and depressing, but effective for bringing home the hopelessness of the average person's life. So...while it's not gorgeous, it is perfect.
Matt Damon is sympathetic and believable as a guy buried under the weight of past poor decisions, with little hope of ever getting out. William Fichtner is appropriately slimy as a business owner with regard for only his own skin (and bottom line). It goes without saying that the standout is Sharlto Copley, who's fantastic as a renegade member of Elysium's security force. The rest of the supporting cast is fine, if unremarkable, with the disappointing exception of Jodie Foster. I found her performance wooden and, frankly, a bit grating (and where she was going with that accent, I have no idea).

Elysium runs 109 minutes and is rated R for "strong bloody violence and language throughout."

It's not the masterpiece I'd hoped for, but it's still pretty darn good. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Elysium gets seven.

Next on the agenda was the sequel Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters.

To restore protections to their safe haven, Percy Jackson and other half-bloods brave the Sea of Monsters, in hopes of finding the Golden Fleece.

The first Percy Jackson movie was passable teen-fantasy fluff, and the sequel is much the same. The plot feels like a soup that maybe was too thin to start, so the cook just kept tossing in ingredients 'til he ended up with something of a mess for his trouble. The film would have been better served had it focused on the main plot, without the other diversions. The dialogue ranges from flat to plain awful, and most of the attempts at humor are cringe-worthy. While some of the effects are impressive, the terrible CGI moments were too plentiful to really give kudos on that count, either.

Having said all that, the movie does have its pluses. Logan Lerman is perfectly watchable in the lead, and the always entertaining Brandon T. Jackson remains a scene stealer. The rest of the young cast is passable, and the older, familiar faces (including Anthony Head, Stanley Tucci, and Nathan Fillion) are as good as the material permits. One scene of a story being told within the story (think Hermione reading The Tale of the Three Brothers in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) is beautifully shot.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters clocks in at 106 minutes and is rated PG for "fantasy action violence, some scary images, and mild language."
It's a fun but forgettable bit of Summer brain candy that's suitable for the whole family. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters gets six.
And that, dear Blog, is that for this weekend. Next weekend is Gary Oldman's one and only cinema appearance for 2013, so you may expect much giddiness from this corner.

Until next time...




Make more movies, dammit!!