Cindy Prascik's Review of The Counselor

Dearest Blog, despite early whispers of its absurdity, it was with great excitement that I headed to the cinema today to see The Counselor.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

A lawyer (Michael Fassbender) lands in deep trouble when he attempts to cure his money woes doing business with drug dealers.

So, dear Blog, when I see a film with Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, and Brad Pitt, my thought is "How bad can it be?" Well...........

The Counselor kicks off with an awkward sex scene that sets the tone for the whole film: you just want to laugh, however aware you are that you're not supposed to. The stellar cast isn't to blame for the movie's shortcomings, and, while it could be said they don't save it either, I would suggest it's beyond saving.

All the performances are solid, and Pitt is notably better than the material.

However, twists that aim for shocking reveals land, instead, in a muddled mess. Forget subtle foreshadowing, the movie knocks you over the head with everything.

There are gross-outs aplenty, and I don't just mean the bloody ones you expect in any movie about drug dealers. When I wasn't trying to stifle inappropriate laughter, I was struggling mightily to stay awake.

Now, dear Blog, never let it be said I don't look for the positive. The Counselor takes first prize on an important "all-time" movie list: Best snot rocket ever.

Like, seriously, puts Gimli's "I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!" to shame. Readers, I know you look to this blog for the serious skinny on flicks, so there it is.

This weekend, The Counselor is probably in a pretty tight race for "Funniest New Release" with Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, but, unfortunately, only one was an intentional entry.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Counselor gets three...AND CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE THOR ALREADY??

Until next time...



You! Yes, you! Fire your agent now!!

MOVIE REVIEW: JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA

86 year-old Irving Zisman is on a journey across America with the most unlikely companion, his 8 year-old Grandson Billy in "Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa.” The signature Jackass character Irving Zisman (Johnny Knoxville) and Billy (Jackson Nicoll) will take movie audiences along for the most insane hidden camera road trip ever captured on camera. Real people in unreal situations, making for one really messed up comedy.

Director: Jeff Tremaine

Cast: Johnny Knoxville, Jackson Nicoll

Release Date: Oct 25, 2013

Rated R for strong crude and sexual content throughout, language, some graphic nudity and brief drug use

Runtime: 1 hr. 32 min.

Genres: Comedy

Review:

About 5 minutes into the movie “Irving Zisman” has his testicles stuck in a vending machine as confused and shocked bystanders walk by. If this type of candid camera humor doesn’t fit your palette then you’d probably want to stay as far as way from Bad Granpa as possible. It’s not quite as inspired as Borat but Knoxville and his crew create some great set ups, the high point occurring in a male strip club, framed by the slightest of a plot. Knoxville, who’s always willing to put himself out there, is a lot of fun as the Zisman. Thankfully this installment removes a lot of the gross out, self injury humor which was a big part of the previous Jackass series and films. As a result, this is probably the most accessible film of the franchise. Part of the credit for its accessibility has to go to Jackson Nicoll who is just an adorable child actor. Still this is a Jackass film so there are plenty of explicit scenes greeted with lots of confused, angry and shocked reactions.

B-

MOVIE REVIEW: THE COUNSELOR

Cormac McCarthy provides his first original screenplay with this Ridley Scott-directed thriller starring Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who dabbles in trafficking drugs only to realize just how dangerous a situation he's gotten himself into. Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, and Cameron Diaz head up the rest of the starring cast. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz

Release Date: Oct 25, 2013

Rated R for graphic violence, some grisly images, strong sexual content and language.

Runtime: 1 hr. 57 min.

Genres: Drama, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

A top notch cast with an A list director boosted by a Cormac McCarthy script should be a slam dunk. And for about half of the film’s runtime, filled with whisperings about nefarious doings and ramifications, it kind of confuses you into thinking it might be a quality film. Mainly due to the fact that you don’t know what the hell is actually going. Once the film lays its cards out on the table, it’s fairly pedestrian. The story plays out in a straightforward manner while we’re subjected to long winded discussions all while displaying a noticeable and angry misogynism. The cast delivers fairly solid work with the exemption of Diaz who’s so far out of her league that her performance is nearly laughable. Ridley Scott shoots a nice clean film but the film’s main problem is its story and characters. None of the characters are particularly engaging or interesting. They are just bad people in a bad situation headed towards gloom and destruction. One character in particular is a walking talking metaphor. Its greatest drawback though is its smugness and overbearing self importance. It thinks it’s an important film talking about large important themes but it really isn’t. Instead, its lasting image maybe Cameron Diaz humping a car.

C

[Trailers] Captain America: The Winter Soldier & Anchorman 2 US and International

A couple of new trailers have hit the interwebs over the last few days so let’s dig right in.

First up is the trailer, which looks surprisingly impressive, for the Captain America sequel. There’s a noticeable tonal shift from the first film which I never loved or hated. This one seems more like an international flavored action thriller with superheroes in the mix. Lots of familiar faces pop up along with plenty of new ones, check it out….



Earlier this week a couple of new Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues trailers hit. The 2nd US trailer showcases plenty of new footage. If that didn’t wet your appetite check out the international trailer which has even more new footage. I’m a huge Will Ferrell so I can’t wait for this, check them out below…

2nd US Trailer….



International Trailer….

Cindy Prascik’s Reviews of Captain Phillips & Escape Plan

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the cinema for a pair of testosterone-fueled flicks, Captain Phillips and Escape Plan.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First I set sail with Captain Phillips.

An American cargo ship is hijacked by Somali pirates, and its captain taken hostage.

I'll be straight with ya, readers, I expected Captain Phillips to be a slow, overlong movie redeemed by yet another Oscar-worthy turn from Tom Hanks. Instead it's the second film this month (the first being Gravity), to have been a very pleasant surprise.

Captain Phillips does feature an incredible performance by the always-reliable Hanks.

The supporting cast, most notably Barkhad Abdi as the pirates' leader, is no less remarkable for being less well known. Captain Phillips does a terrific job of sustaining tension, to the point that I won't even complain about the 15 minutes or so that easily could have been shaved off the runtime. (See what I did there?)

There's an air of claustrophobia about the movie's second half that literally sucks the air out of the theatre...or maybe I was just holding my breath? The film begins with some of the most insipid movie dialogue I've ever heard (remember, I own that My Bloody Valentine remake!), but not to worry, from the time we board the Alabama, Captain Phillips is absolutely riveting.

Captain Phillips runs 134 minutes and is rated PG13 for, "sustained intense sequences of menace, some violence with bloody images, and for substance use." It's a great film spearheaded by another magnificent Tom Hanks performance, for my money, a "must see."

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Captain Phillips gets seven and a half.

Next on my agenda was the Sylvester Stallone/Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick, Escape Plan.

Okay, dear Blog, from the first trailer, I felt like Escape Plan had been made expressly with me in mind. Even though I've never met Sly and Arnie, the movie does nothing to dispel the notion.

A guy who breaks out of prisons for a living faces his biggest challenge yet.

While Escape Plan doesn't quite have the "oomph" of that first Expendables movie, I can't imagine anyone who enjoys the genre wouldn't have a good time with it. Stallone and Schwarzenegger are on point, trading barbs and punches while plotting to escape their maximum-security hell.

The dashing Jim Caviezel brings the crazy as the power-mad warden. The rest of the supporting cast was mostly, "Um...I remember that guy played a thug in..........." The plot features a couple solid twists, and I was very impressed with the film's overall appearance, in particular that first full look at the supposedly escape-proof facility.

I see most movies in an empty or nearly-empty theatre (by design), but I had company for this one and the crowd's response was extremely positive.

Escape Plan clocks in at 116 minutes and is rated R for "violence and language throughout." If you're looking for a fun time at the movies, it doesn't get better than this.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Escape Plan also gets seven and a half.

Until next time...



Escape Plan: puts hair on your chest!

MOVIE REVIEW: CARRIE

Stephen King's Carrie gets a new life in this remake starring Chloë Grace Moretz as a teenager who discovers that she has the extraordinary ability to move objects with the power of her mind, which eventually leads to mayhem and horror at her high-school prom. Kimberly Peirce (Boys Don't Cry) directs, and Julianne Moore co-stars as Carrie's overbearing mother. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Kimberly Peirce

Cast: Chloë Grace Moretz, Julianne Moore, Gabriella Wilde, Portia Doubleday, Judy Greer

Rated R for bloody violence, disturbing images, language and some sexual content

Runtime: 1 hr. 39 min.

Genres: Horror

Review:

Remakes are a tricky business. More times than not they are simply money grabs trying to capitalize on name recognition. This remake is tough to review simply because as a stand alone film it’s not terrible. It’s fully competent with a decent cast featuring Chloë Grace Moretz who delivers a fine performance even if she’s miscast. Kimberly Peirce, clearly in paycheck mode, gives us a sleek and efficient little film. Unfortunately it hits all the exact same beats as original 1976 film. There are scant bits of modern touches (Youtube, Cellphones!) but considering the subject matter and current focus on bullying I can’t help but feel like there are plenty of missed opportunities. The remakes is solid but (in my best old man voice) do yourself a favor and watch the original or read the book because the remake is simply a rehash, albeit a decent one.

C+