Cindy Prascik's Review of The Counselor

Dearest Blog, despite early whispers of its absurdity, it was with great excitement that I headed to the cinema today to see The Counselor.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

A lawyer (Michael Fassbender) lands in deep trouble when he attempts to cure his money woes doing business with drug dealers.

So, dear Blog, when I see a film with Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, and Brad Pitt, my thought is "How bad can it be?" Well...........

The Counselor kicks off with an awkward sex scene that sets the tone for the whole film: you just want to laugh, however aware you are that you're not supposed to. The stellar cast isn't to blame for the movie's shortcomings, and, while it could be said they don't save it either, I would suggest it's beyond saving.

All the performances are solid, and Pitt is notably better than the material.

However, twists that aim for shocking reveals land, instead, in a muddled mess. Forget subtle foreshadowing, the movie knocks you over the head with everything.

There are gross-outs aplenty, and I don't just mean the bloody ones you expect in any movie about drug dealers. When I wasn't trying to stifle inappropriate laughter, I was struggling mightily to stay awake.

Now, dear Blog, never let it be said I don't look for the positive. The Counselor takes first prize on an important "all-time" movie list: Best snot rocket ever.

Like, seriously, puts Gimli's "I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!" to shame. Readers, I know you look to this blog for the serious skinny on flicks, so there it is.

This weekend, The Counselor is probably in a pretty tight race for "Funniest New Release" with Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, but, unfortunately, only one was an intentional entry.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Counselor gets three...AND CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE THOR ALREADY??

Until next time...



You! Yes, you! Fire your agent now!!

MOVIE REVIEW: THE COUNSELOR

Cormac McCarthy provides his first original screenplay with this Ridley Scott-directed thriller starring Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who dabbles in trafficking drugs only to realize just how dangerous a situation he's gotten himself into. Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, and Cameron Diaz head up the rest of the starring cast. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz

Release Date: Oct 25, 2013

Rated R for graphic violence, some grisly images, strong sexual content and language.

Runtime: 1 hr. 57 min.

Genres: Drama, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

A top notch cast with an A list director boosted by a Cormac McCarthy script should be a slam dunk. And for about half of the film’s runtime, filled with whisperings about nefarious doings and ramifications, it kind of confuses you into thinking it might be a quality film. Mainly due to the fact that you don’t know what the hell is actually going. Once the film lays its cards out on the table, it’s fairly pedestrian. The story plays out in a straightforward manner while we’re subjected to long winded discussions all while displaying a noticeable and angry misogynism. The cast delivers fairly solid work with the exemption of Diaz who’s so far out of her league that her performance is nearly laughable. Ridley Scott shoots a nice clean film but the film’s main problem is its story and characters. None of the characters are particularly engaging or interesting. They are just bad people in a bad situation headed towards gloom and destruction. One character in particular is a walking talking metaphor. Its greatest drawback though is its smugness and overbearing self importance. It thinks it’s an important film talking about large important themes but it really isn’t. Instead, its lasting image maybe Cameron Diaz humping a car.

C