Cindy Prascik's Review of The Counselor

Dearest Blog, despite early whispers of its absurdity, it was with great excitement that I headed to the cinema today to see The Counselor.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

A lawyer (Michael Fassbender) lands in deep trouble when he attempts to cure his money woes doing business with drug dealers.

So, dear Blog, when I see a film with Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, and Brad Pitt, my thought is "How bad can it be?" Well...........

The Counselor kicks off with an awkward sex scene that sets the tone for the whole film: you just want to laugh, however aware you are that you're not supposed to. The stellar cast isn't to blame for the movie's shortcomings, and, while it could be said they don't save it either, I would suggest it's beyond saving.

All the performances are solid, and Pitt is notably better than the material.

However, twists that aim for shocking reveals land, instead, in a muddled mess. Forget subtle foreshadowing, the movie knocks you over the head with everything.

There are gross-outs aplenty, and I don't just mean the bloody ones you expect in any movie about drug dealers. When I wasn't trying to stifle inappropriate laughter, I was struggling mightily to stay awake.

Now, dear Blog, never let it be said I don't look for the positive. The Counselor takes first prize on an important "all-time" movie list: Best snot rocket ever.

Like, seriously, puts Gimli's "I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!" to shame. Readers, I know you look to this blog for the serious skinny on flicks, so there it is.

This weekend, The Counselor is probably in a pretty tight race for "Funniest New Release" with Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, but, unfortunately, only one was an intentional entry.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Counselor gets three...AND CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE THOR ALREADY??

Until next time...



You! Yes, you! Fire your agent now!!

MOVIE REVIEW: THE COUNSELOR

Cormac McCarthy provides his first original screenplay with this Ridley Scott-directed thriller starring Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who dabbles in trafficking drugs only to realize just how dangerous a situation he's gotten himself into. Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, and Cameron Diaz head up the rest of the starring cast. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz

Release Date: Oct 25, 2013

Rated R for graphic violence, some grisly images, strong sexual content and language.

Runtime: 1 hr. 57 min.

Genres: Drama, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

A top notch cast with an A list director boosted by a Cormac McCarthy script should be a slam dunk. And for about half of the film’s runtime, filled with whisperings about nefarious doings and ramifications, it kind of confuses you into thinking it might be a quality film. Mainly due to the fact that you don’t know what the hell is actually going. Once the film lays its cards out on the table, it’s fairly pedestrian. The story plays out in a straightforward manner while we’re subjected to long winded discussions all while displaying a noticeable and angry misogynism. The cast delivers fairly solid work with the exemption of Diaz who’s so far out of her league that her performance is nearly laughable. Ridley Scott shoots a nice clean film but the film’s main problem is its story and characters. None of the characters are particularly engaging or interesting. They are just bad people in a bad situation headed towards gloom and destruction. One character in particular is a walking talking metaphor. Its greatest drawback though is its smugness and overbearing self importance. It thinks it’s an important film talking about large important themes but it really isn’t. Instead, its lasting image maybe Cameron Diaz humping a car.

C

MOVIE REVIEW: KNIGHT AND DAY

IN THEATERS

KNIGHT AND DAY



A fugitive couple (Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz) wages a war between truth and trust while speeding across the globe in an attempt to avoid capture by a determined federal agent (Peter Sarsgaard). Paul Dano, Viola Davis, Olivier Martinez, Maggie Grace, and Marc Blucas co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Director: James Mangold

Cast: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Paul Dano, Viola Davis, Olivier Martinez, Maggie Grace

Release Date: Jun 23, 2010

Rated: brief strong language and sequences of action violence

Runtime: 2 hr. 10 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Comedy

Review:

Silly, predictable and occasionally fun Knight and Day is exactly what it looks like, nothing and nothing less. A thinly veiled plot which only serves to move Cruise and Diaz from one set piece to another so madcap action can ensue. James Mangold shoots his stars as such and it’s light and fluffy with never an ounce of weight or depth. Mangold takes full advantage of the budget with beautiful locales all the while using his general “splosion” money well. Cruise is light hearted and fun, pretty much doing his Ethan Hunt character from Mission Impossible throughout. Cameron Diaz does her usual tomboy but I’m cute deal, something she has down pat, and smiles her Joker smile shrieking intermittently. She’s not as grating as she could have been so that’s always a positive considering what’s required of the role. The strange thing here is that Cruise and Diaz are strangely disconnected throughout as if they are both doing their own thing and the only reason we know they like each other is because the film tells us so. The supporting cast is pretty just going through the motions doing what’s required of their paper thin characters. In the end, it’s Cruise and Diaz showcase; if you enjoy them you’ll enjoy this overlong predictable film.

C

MOVIE REVIEW: SHREK FOREVER AFTER 3D

IN THEATERS

SHREK FOREVER AFTER 3D



A domesticated Shrek hatches a plan to recapture his mojo and discovers what life in Far Far Away land would have been like had he never existed in this final chapter of the popular animated film series. There used to be a time when the villagers would run in terror at the mere mention of the name Shrek, but these days the big green ogre is married to Princess Fiona and raising triplets. Maintaining your fierce public persona is no simple task when you're juggling infants and changing diapers, so when Shrek realizes that nobody is afraid of him anymore he recruits mischief-maker Rumpelstiltskin to restore his once-mighty roar. Unfortunately for Shrek, that plan hits an unexpected hitch. As a result, the morose monster takes a trip into an alternate-universe Far Far Away land where there is no Shrek, and Rumpelstiltskin reigns. There, Donkey spends his days hauling carts, and a portly Puss in Boots prefers lounging to swashbuckling. Perhaps with a little extra effort, Shrek will be able to regain his status as top ogre in town and still have his happily ever after, too. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Director: Mike Mitchell

Cast: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews.

Release Date: May 21, 2010

Rated PG for some rude humor, mild action and brief language

Runtime: 1 hr. 33 min.

Genres: Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

Shrek Forever After is a decent if mostly ho hum finale to the once impressive and fresh series. Not nearly as horrible as the dreadfully boring Shrek The Third this entry recaptures a bit of the energy of the first two entries. The 3D is used well and certain scenes are truly magical especially with witches hovering around. The script is fun if a tad bland and predictable. The satire isn’t as strong as it could have been considering the It’s a Wonderful Life slant this go around and it feels like they play it way too safe. Instead we get more pop songs and dance numbers that feel terribly forced. It not all bad there are some funny portions spread throughout the films run time. Mike Meyers does decent work and even provides some dramatic thump during some of the more tender moments. Cameron Diaz is a given a fun warrior princess angle and she clearly enjoys herself. Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas both give fun if paint by the number performances. New comer Walt Dohrn has an interesting nasally timber to his voice and his character could have been more interesting and better fleshed out. As the finale entry, Shrek Forever After can’t help but show the series age, fun but overly safe.

C+

Movie Reviews: THE BOX

Friday, November 13, 2009
Movie Reviews: THE BOX
IN THEATERS

THE BOX


A suburban couple, Norma (Cameron Diaz) and Arthur (James Marsden), face a moral dilemma when they receive a gift that bears irrevocable consequences. With the press of a button, their simple wooden box will bestow $1 million; however, a stranger somewhere else will die, at the same time. The box will be theirs for only 24 hours, and as time ticks away, Norma and Arthur confront the depth of their humanity as they consider their choices.


Cast: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella


Director: Richard Kelly


Opened ..November 6, 2009..


Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, some violence and disturbing images


Genres: Supernatural Horror, Horror


Review:


Richard Kelly’s Donnie Darko is a cult classic and rightfully so. His second film, Southland Tales, was a masturbatory cinematic explosion of excess that it’s entirely up to the viewer as to whether it’s high art or the worst kind of garbage. His third film is similar to his first two but different in various ways. The Box is as a visually arresting morality tale that has Kelly melding Twilight Zone-ish scenario with Kubrick like visuals and music. It’s a fascinating blend that makes the entire endeavor feel like some metaphysical dream. It’s probably Kelly’s most accessible film as the story and plot stay fairly tight for the most part. That’s not to say there aren’t the typical oddities that Kelly likes to dabble in, there are plenty especially as the film reaches its 3rd act. If you’ve watched his previous films you should know going in that everything won’t have a nice tidy resolution by the films close. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed this type of filmmaking which leaves the final interpretation of its meaning up to the individual viewer. Kelly’s talent as a filmmaker shouldn’t be in doubt even if he does tend to over extend himself too much at times in his story telling. The cast here is up to the task for the most part and give the subject matter sufficient gravitas. Frank Langella’s cold yet empathetic turn as morally nebulous Arlington Steward was the real ....high point.... of the film. Langella possesses an interesting quality to display varying emotions without changing expressions. Cameron Diaz and James Marsden do fairly impressive jobs with the leads. Diaz seems a bit limited by the exaggerated southern accent she’s trying to pull off, most of the time she sounds like Anna Paquin on True Blood. Regardless, she turns in a solid performance throughout. Richard Kelly’s The Box is a fascinating piece of cinema that probably won’t convert any of his detractors or let down his fans.


B