A secret government organization mounts an expedition to Skull
Island, an uncharted territory in
the Pacific. Led by an explorer (John Goodman) and a lieutenant colonel (Samuel
L. Jackson), the group recruit a disillusioned soldier (Tom Hiddleston) and a
photojournalist (Brie Larson) to investigate the island's peculiar seismic
activity. But once there, they discover that Skull
Island is home to a gigantic ape
called King Kong, and find themselves caught up in an ongoing war between the
beast and the area's indigenous predators. Jordan Vogt-Roberts directed this
reboot of the classic monster franchise. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Cast: Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, John Goodman,
Brie Larson, John Ortiz.
Release Date: Mar
10, 2017
Rated PG-13 for Intense Sci-Fi Violence/Action and Brief
Strong Language
Runtime: 1 hr. 58 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review:
Kong: Skull Island
is a bit of a throwback in multiple ways.Bringing back the cinematic beast with a 90’s style blockbuster bombast
provides some good fun even if the film’s human characters suffer.Kong and his fellow island beast all look
great and are appropriately menacing during the huge set pieces that make up
the better part of the film.The action
itself is well directed and fun with the helicopter sequence being the biggest
standout.There are a few drawbacks that
keep the film from being great.First
off, there are way too many characters in the film with none of them really
getting any sort of depth.There’s a
bevy recognizable faces on display but the director Jordan Vogt-Roberts doesn’t
seem all that interested in using them for anything other than eye candy.As a result, strong actors like Tom
Hiddleston, Brie Larson, John Goodman and Sam Jackson (channeling Ahab vs. Kong
via Apocalypse Now) are short changed by the script which leaves them spinning
their wheels.John C. Reilly is fairly
great as the downed WW2 pilot.He brings
a ton of energy and fun to the film as soon as he hits the screen in the third
act helping keep the momentum going for the finale.Kong: Skull
Island implies a much larger
monsterverse at play, which cough cough includes Godzilla, so future entries
can improve on some of the faults in this entry.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday I took a trip through uncharted territory (well...Marquee Cinemas) to Kong: Skull Island.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
A team of scientists and its military escort investigate a mysterious island in the Pacific.
Ladies and gentlemen: the third month of 2017 has presented us with what might end up being its best summer-style blockbuster.
The success of any movie featuring a character as iconic and oft-portrayed as Kong depends a great deal on how well it handles its icon. I am more than a little pleased to report that Skull Island's Kong is every bit as majestic and intimidating as he should be. See this movie in 3D on the biggest screen you can find; you'll deliver yourself straight into the jaws of the great gorilla himself. The other creature effects are pretty terrific, but, when it's down to nuts and bolts, Kong is definitely king. Skull Island's human cast--including Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, John Goodman, and John C. Reilly--is an impressively-decorated lot, elevating the outlandish premise and predictable dialogue. Skull Island boasts awesome locations and sets, terrifying battles, and fantastic disaster effects. It's funny when it wants to be, pointed when it needs to be, and thrilling from beginning to end. A rousing score by Henry Jackman, peppered with some great 70s tunes, perfectly underscores the movie's tone, and a fun post-credits scene makes sitting through 15 minutes of compositors' names worthwhile.
Kong: Skull Island clocks in at an even 120 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for brief strong language."
Kong: Skull Island is a terrific popcorn feature, about as much fun as two hours at the cinema could be. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Kong: Skull Island gets eight.
Fangirl points: Toby Kebbell! Shea Whigham! (A man who improves any project fortunate enough to have him.) Also, for the record, Hiddles has never looked hotter!
In a hideout near the U.S./Mexico border, an aging Logan (Hugh Jackman)
cares for the ailing Professor X (Patrick Stewart). However, their sheltered
existence comes to a sudden end when a young mutant girl (Dafne Keen) arrives
and needs their help to stay safe. James Mangold directed this film, the third
Wolverine-based spin-off of the X-Men franchise. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: James Mangold
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Stephen Merchant,
Richard E. Grant, Eriq La Salle
Release Date: Mar
03, 2017
Rated R for Language Throughout, Brief Nudity and Strong
Brutal Violence
Runtime: 2 hr. 15 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review:
Logan is one
of the rare comic book movies that works on multiple levels.James Mangold and Huge Jackman had a big task
ahead of them trying to give fans the kind of send off that the character
deserves.Both seemed to have a great
affinity for the character and it shows onscreen.Mangold delivers a somber dour film that’s as
exciting as it’s moving.There’s an
added depth to the character that gives Jackman more to work with than he’s had
in previous solo films.As such, it’s a
meatier more well rounded performance even though the basic story of child and
guardian is well worn. Patrick Stewart
also delivers an excellent performance as aged Professor X.Stewart is clearly having a grand time in the
role since the script gives him something different to do than just sit in the
wheelchair and look stately.Dafne Keen
is a revelation as X-23.Keen is able to
deliver an impressive performance even though it’s mostly done with limited
dialogue.It’s a pivotal character and
if the child actor wasn’t as strong, the film wouldn’t have been as good as it
ended up being.Logan
is a strong film but it does drag in a few spots.Certain sections feel like they could have
been cut all together making the film a sleeker and better film.Even with those issues, Logan
finally nails the heart of the character which is a perfect way to end Jackman’s
tenure in the role.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Hugh Jackman's final turn with the super sideburns, Logan.
Spoiler level here will be mild, mostly nothing you wouldn't get from trailers and clips.
A jaded, aging Logan is drawn from hiding to help a young mutant being pursued by some nasty characters.
Logan is a somber affair whose tone reflects its tired hero. This Logan isn't interested in saving the world, he's just trying to get by and get out. Action is plentiful, well-choreographed, and brutal, with decapitations and dismemberments aplenty. Do take that "R" rating seriously and leave the kids at home; graphic violence and bad language are pervasive. Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, and newcomer Dafne Keen turn in lovely performances that would not seem out of place on 2017's awards circuit, though timing and genre will probably leave them forgotten. The film suffers from its bloated runtime and tends to drag here and there. A trim would have worked in its favor, but otherwise, Logan is a superhero movie that's more than good enough to get away with taking itself so seriously.
Logan clocks in at 137 minutes and is rated R for "strong brutal violence and language throughout, and for brief nudity."
It's not quite The Dark Knight or Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but Logan is definitely one for the ages. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Logan gets eight.
Fangirl points: Stephen Merchant! Richard E. Grant!
Legendary
hitman John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is once again called out of retirement, this
time by a former colleague (Riccardo Scamarcio) who wants him to repay a debt
by killing an Italian crime lord (Claudia Gerini). But when the attempted
assassination goes awry, Wick finds himself hunted by an international cabal of
killers, and his only hope for survival might be a shadowy figure known as the
Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne). Director Chad Stahelski and screenwriter
Derek Kolstad return for this sequel to their 2014 cult action hit. Ian
McShane, Ruby Rose, John Leguizamo, Common, Lance Reddick, and Bridget Moynahan
co-star. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: Chad
Stahelski
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Common, John Leguizamo, Bridget
Moynahan, Laurence Fishburne
Release Date: Feb
10, 2017
Rated R for Strong Violence Throughout, Some Language and
Brief Nudity
Runtime: 2 hr. 2
min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Suspense/Thriller
John Wick: Chapter 2 does everything a sequel should do
by upping the action and expanding the world from the first film.Chad Stahelski seems to have a firm
understanding of what worked from the first film.As such, we are treated to a virtual ballet
of bullets during some impressively choreographed sequences.The story opens up the network of hitmen and
support system which is fun even though it’s ludicrous anyway you cut it.Still, it’s a fun bit of world building that
gives the story a neat frame work which introduces us to a wide variety of
characters.Keanu Reeves does his best
work during the action sequences which is hardly a surprise.Reeves has never been an acting powerhouse so
it’s the film benefit that he’s got limited requirements as Wick.The supporting players like Ian McShane,
Common and Laurence Fishburne give the film a bit more body than it probably
deserves.The biggest stretch for the
film is Ruby Rose who never really fits in.It might have something to do with the fact that she looks more like a
female Justin Bieber than any sort of menacing badass.It’s not a major drawback because there are
so many people trying to kill John Wick, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle
especially since nearly 90% of the population of New York
is trained hitmen.At certain points,
the film does begin to suffer from attrition simply because there’s so much
going on in the final act.John Wick:
Chapter 2 sets up the 3rd entry nicely which should make for a fun
capper to the series.
A young African-American photographer (Daniel Kaluuya) is nervous at the
thought of meeting his white girlfriend's parents (Catherine Keener and Bradley
Whitford) for the first time during a trip to the latter's country estate. However,
his anxiety soon turns into outright terror when he discovers that the family's
seemingly idyllic community is hiding a sinister conspiracy, one that involves
the disappearance of several black people in the area. Jordan Peele, one half
of the comedic duo Jordan Peele, makes his directorial debut with this horror
thriller. Allison Williams, LaKeith Stanfield, and Caleb Landry Jones co-star.
~ Jack Rodgers, Rovi
Director: Jordan Peele
Cast: Daniel Kaluuya, Bradley Whitford, Caleb Landry
Jones, Stephen Root, LaKeith Stanfield,
Allison Williams
Release Date: Feb
24, 2017
Rated R for Language, Bloody Images, Sexual References
and Violence
Runtime: 1 hr. 44 min.
Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller
Review:
Get Out is a fine debut for Jordan Peele even if it isn’t
a landmark horror benchmark some have made it out to be.Get Out plays more like a comedic satire of
classic horror movie tropes with a racial slant.As it plays out, it’s clear that Jordan Peele
is a fan of classic films like Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Stepford
Wives.On the downside there are few
surprises for anyone who’s watched any of these films, resulting in a few jump
scares but very little in the way of tension.Thankfully, there’s a fair amount of laughs as the increasingly
uncomfortable weekend unfurls for our protagonist.Daniel Kaluuya is solid as the lead even if
he isn’t given much to do outside of act uncomfortable and mildly
terrified.Allison Williams, and her
dead eyes, is perfect for what the role calls for, which is very little.Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener are
given fun roles, which they clearly relish, but there is practically mustache
twirling unsettling from the get go.As
a result, there is a very little surprise about where any of these characters
end up.LaKeith Stanfield is given the
best role in the film as Chris friend who spends the majority of the film
telling him there’s something seriously off about the situation.It’s a credit to Jordan Peele’s talent that
he can make you overlook these short coming and deliver an enjoyable film.Get Out isn’t a hallmark in horror
filmmaking, the majority of hardcore horror buffs may walk out disappointed,
but it’s a solid debut.
On the last day before summer vacation at a rough-and-tumble high school,
mild-mannered teacher Andy Campbell (Charlie Day) accidentally causes his
fearsome colleague Ron Strickland (Ice Cube) to be fired. When Strickland then
challenges him to a fist fight after school, Campbell
must find a way to avoid a vicious beating. Tracy Morgan, Jillian Bell,
Christina Hendricks, Dean Norris, and Dennis Haysbert co-star in this comedy
directed by Richie Keen. ~ Jack Rodgers, Rovi
Director: Richie
Keen
Cast: Ice Cube, Charlie Day, Tracy Morgan, Jillian Bell,
Dean Norris
Release Date: Feb
17, 2017
Rated R for language Throughout, Drug Material and Sexual
Content/Nudity
Runtime: 1 hr. 31 min.
Genres: Comedy
Fist Fight is a silly comedy that moves at a frantic pace
the moment it starts.Boasting an
excellent comedic cast led by Charlie Day, it’s a mindless comedy that never
takes itself overly seriously.Charlie
Day is put front and center and fans of his style of manic comedy will find
plenty to like.Richie Keen does a
serviceable job of directing the comedy even though there are plenty of missed
opportunities.The most glaring issue is
that the film doesn’t take full advantage of its cast with excellent actors
like Christina Hendricks and Dean Norris showing up in glorified cameos more
than actual roles.Both roles feel like
they could have been expanded a bit to flesh out the nightmare facility.Luckily Keen keeps Ice Cube relegated to
playing a scowling hothead, leaving the comedy to the pros.It’s a good choice that pays off in the end,
leaving the audience with a perfectly zany R rated comedy.
Dearest Blog: Today it was off to Marquee Cinemas for oddball blockbuster The Great Wall.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
A pair of mercenaries is conscripted into battle to save a Chinese city from hordes of terrifying creatures.
Dear reader(s): Thanks to a painful trailer, my best hope for The Great Wall was that it would be hilariously bad and not just bad. I am pleased to report that, while it's not winning any awards anytime soon, The Great Wall IS actually a pretty enjoyable way to pass a couple hours.
Liberally seasoned from the cliche jar, the Great Wall is deeply, deeply idiotic. Jarringly modern phrasing and Matt Damon's weirdly stilted diction are no help with the clunky script. The most pointed attempts at humor often miss the mark, but a light tone works strongly in the movie's favor. The Great Wall boasts some lovely scenery, spectacular costumes, excellent precision battle choreography, and solid creature effects. I didn't see the movie in 3D, but there are a few dizzying scenes that I expect would make it worth the upcharge and glasses headache. Wall-to-wall (see what I did there?) action never comes at the story's expense, and is perfectly accompanied by Ramin Djawadi's rousing score.
The Great Wall clocks in at 103 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of fantasy action violence."
The story and the acting are nothing to write home about, but The Great Wall is a fun outing that's more than worth seeing on the big screen for it's extraordinary production values. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Great Wall gets five.
Batman (voice of Will Arnett) defends Gotham
City from criminals and
supervillains while bonding with a young orphan (Michael Cera) he accidentally
adopted -- who, of course, eventually becomes his sidekick Robin. This spin-off
of The Lego Movie also features the voices of Rosario Dawson as Batgirl, Zach
Galifianakis as the Joker, and Ralph Fiennes as Batman's loyal butler Alfred
Pennyworth. Directed by Chris McKay (Robot Chicken). ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director Chris McKay
Cast: Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Zach Galifianakis,
Rosario Dawson, Ralph Fiennes
Release Date: Feb
10, 2017
Rated PG for Rude Humor and Some Action
Runtime: 1 hr. 44 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Animated, Comedy
The Lego Batman Movie is a worthy follow up to The Lego
Movie.It’s not as thoroughly enjoyable
as The Lego Movie but it hits more often than it misses.Will Arnett returns as the blocky caped
crusader and he’s clearly having a ball.Michael Cera costars as the overly eager to please Robin.They both play off each other very well along
with Rosario Dawson and Ralph Fiennes who round out the hero side of
things.Zach Galifianakis is just as
much fun as the Lego Joker.The plot
itself is more simplistic than The Lego Movie but it’s filled with enough jokes
and bat references to keep most adults laughing for the better part of the
films running time.Its visual flare and
cast are enough to overlook most of its minor flaws.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a highly-anticipated pair of pictures: John Wick: Chapter 2 and the Lego Batman Movie.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
Ladies and gentlemen, dear reader(s), what follows is the historic, first-ever, perfect-nine-Weasley double-bill! Steel yourselves!
First on yesterday's agenda: John Wick: Chapter 2.
John Wick is dragged out of retirement when an old marker is called in.
The first John Wick was a pleasant surprise. With very little buzz and a not-quite-A-list lead, it turned out far better than the generic actioner promised by the trailers. Following up such unexpected success almost unfailingly leads to disaster, but I am pleased to report John Wick: Chapter 2 actually breaks the mold and improves upon the original.
Beginning with the obvious: Keanu Reeves has found the role for which he was born. Sure, the guy has all the acting chops of "Shepherd #3" in your local elementary-school Christmas pageant, but he's given us a few iconic leads over his long career, and John Wick seems destined to become one of his best remembered. Reeves works even the film's corniest lines to perfection and still manages to be the perfect stoic killing machine. A solid supporting cast includes Ian McShane, Common, Laurence Fishburne, and the suddenly-ubiquitous Ruby Rose. John Wick: Chapter 2 boasts epic fight choreography, a dark humor that always hits its mark, and stellar production design. A shootout in a hall of mirrors is a real standout, along the lines of the original's red room scene. The extraordinary body count undoubtedly renders a picture like this not everyone's cup of tea, but if you're able to set aside genre bias, you'll have to admit John Wick: Chapter 2 is one hell of a great movie.
John Wick: Chapter 2 clocks in at 122 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence throughout, some language, and brief nudity."
John Wick: Chapter 2 is a strikingly filmed, beautifully executed movie that's well served by its self-awareness. I pondered long and hard, looking for a reason to dock it even a half-Weasley, and I couldn't find one. Of a possible nine Weasleys, John Wick: Chapter 2 gets nine.
Fangirl points: My beloved Ian McShane! Peter Serafinowicz!
Next on the docket, The Lego Batman Movie.
The Bat goes brick.
The Lego Batman Movie has all the sharp colors, cool artwork, and constant motion that are hallmarks of most good animation these days, but considering it a kids' movie does it a great disservice; it is straight-up comedy gold, and I mean hilarious. I can't remember the last time I heard a cinema crowd laugh as hard or as much. The movie lovingly makes fun of the Bat-verse, from Will Arnett's sulking, self-centered Bruce Wayne to hilarious callbacks to various film faceoffs with his arch-nemesis the Joker. If Gotham's Clown Prince isn't your favorite baddie, never fear, the Lego Batman Movie not only features many of Batman's classic enemies, but cameos by villains from the furthest reaches of fiction. A rockin' score by Lorne Balfe occasionally echoes past Batman themes, underlining the movie's nods to Bat-history, while standing firmly on its own Lego feet.
The Lego Batman Movie runs 104 minutes and is rated PG for "rude humor and some action."
The Lego Batman Movie is everything a moviegoer could want, be he die-hard Batfan or casual walkup.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Lego Batman Movie gets nine.
In this third installment in the horror franchise, a young woman tries to
save her boyfriend from a haunted video that kills people seven days after they
watch it. However, she soon discovers that the video's secrets go far deeper
than anyone has ever suspected. Matilda Lutz, Vincent D'Onofrio, Johnny
Galecki, Laura Wiggins, Aimee Teegarden, Alex Roe, and Bonnie Morgan star.
Directed by F. Javier Gutierrez. ~ Jack Rodgers, Rovi
Genres: Drama, Horror
Director F. Javier Gutierrez
Cast: Aimee Teegarden, Johnny Galecki, Alex Roe, Zach
Roerig, Bonnie Morgan, Vincent D'Onofrio
Release Date: Feb
03, 2017
Rated PG-13 for thematic Elements, Some Sexuality, Brief
Drug Material and Violence/Terror
Runtime: 1 hr. 47 min.
Review:
The horror genre is littered with massive valleys and
huge peaks in terms of quality.The
original Ring film was an impressive piece of filmmaking and one of my favorite
horror films of all time.Sadly, after
that a lesser sequel followed and the franchise seemingly died off.Rings is an ill conceived attempt to restart
the series.F. Javier Gutierrez borrows
heavily from Gore
Verbinski’s visual style which creates an effectively moody look.Unfortunately there’s not much else to the
film since the story decides to sideline Samara for the better part of the
film.Instead we’re treated to another
origin story which isn’t nearly as interesting as it was the first two times
we’ve seen it.Making matters worst is the
cast that’s made up of uncharismatic leads.It’s hard to tell if the actors are just bad or if the direction has to
do something with it because even name actors like Johnny Galecki and Vincent
D’Onofrio deliver incredibly stiff and uninspired performances.Sadly, we are left with nothing more than a boring
slog of a film that doesn’t even offer cheap scares to keep you awake.
Dearest Blog: Today it was off to Marquee Cinemas to see my beloved Gary Oldman's latest picture, The Space Between Us.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
A boy born and raised on Mars yearns to come to Earth.
Well, dear reader(s), I can't sugar coat it: The Space Between Us might be the worst movie I've ever seen. Almost everything about this film is so embarrassingly terrible that it's hard to know where to start, so, just to keep you on your toes, I'll start with the few things I actually liked. First, Gary looks amazing. Like, even-better-than-Air-Force-One amazing. He's in the movie a LOT more than I expected, too. I thought he'd be on the periphery of the main story between the two kids, but actually he's kinda the star, with commensurate screen time (which he already may be regretting). There's some lovely scenery as our kids traverse the country, a handful of genuinely funny/cute moments (though few and far between), and a few bits of the score that really caught my ear. That's the good news. The bad news is this movie is otherwise awful to the last detail. It sells its premise so poorly that you're laughing at the very idea before it really even gets started. Awkward, hokey dialogue sounds like it was written by someone who has never heard a real person speak before. It's hard to fault the actors, given the material, but nobody does anything to elevate this mess, either. Mostly what we've got here is two hours of smitten teens acting all teeny and adults scampering around, overwrought, in the most predictable series of events ever. On the Gary Oldman scale, it's about as bad as Lost in Space.
The Space Between us clocks in at an interminable 120 minutes and is rated PG13 for "brief sensuality and language."
As always, I encourage everyone to get out to the movies this weekend. Please just go see something besides The Space Between Us. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Space Between Us gets one, for giving me my Gary on the big screen.
Struggling actress Mia (Emma Stone) and aspiring jazz pianist Sebastian
(Ryan Gosling) begin a whirlwind romance as they both pursue their dreams in Los
Angeles. However, their blossoming relationship is
challenged when their careers pull them in different directions. Damien
Chazelle (Damien Chazelle) wrote and directed this musical love story, which
co-stars John Legend, J.K. Simmons, and Rosemarie DeWitt. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: Damien Chazelle
Cast: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, John Legend, Finn
Wittrock, J.K. Simmons
Release Date: Dec
09, 2016
Rated PG-13 for some Language
Runtime: 2 hr. 7 min.
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Music/Performing Arts
Review:
La La Land is a rousing bit of filmmaking which is as
fizzy and bubbly as the best champagne.Like said champagne, it is a bit light on body.Instead Damien Chazelle dresses up his retro
musical with impressive shots and flashy choreography.It’s an incredibly fun film, especially in
the first 2 acts, with two magnetic leads.Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone bring a dizzying sense of adorableness to
their roles.You can’t help but get
sucked into this love story as their relationship begins to blossom and
grow.It’s an engrossing experience but
once you peel back all the frills it’s a pretty bare bones love story tinged
with a palatable sense of bitter sweetness.Still it’s a credit to Damien Chazelle that he could take a simple story
and infuse so much energy and passion into it.Is it the best film I’ve ever seen, not even close, but it’s a still
fine piece of film making.
Dearest Blog: After missing out last week, this weekend it was off to Marquee Cinemas for four--yes, FOUR--big-screen blasts.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know or have guessed from the trailers.
First on my agenda: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.
Alice makes a last(ish) stand against the Umbrella Corporation.
With this ostensibly "final" chapter of Resident Evil coming so quickly on the heels of Underworld's potential finale, for me it was inevitable to draw comparisons between the two badass-broad-fronted movies. I think Resident Evil comes up on the short end, but it's still a fun watch.
Like Underworld: Blood Wars, RE6 kicks off with a refresher on how we got to where we are. In both cases, this proved a waste of time. These movies do a good enough job of (over)explaining themselves as they go along that a person wouldn't be too lost to enjoy, regardless of what he did or didn't remember. It's to Milla Jovovich's benefit that acting chops are immaterial, as she acrobatically faces off with living and undead. Iain Glen is about as subtle a baddie as Snidely Whiplash. Though it's hard, these days, not to see him as the perpetually-friendzoned Ser Jorah Mormont, he does his best to prove himself a Wicked, Wicked Person here. The 2D effects are nothing to write home about, and certainly nothing to recommend the 3D upcharge and headache. There's some nice disaster footage (think Deepwater Horizon, if everybody hated the undead instead of the planet), and some truly wacky stunts, but much of the action is so dark all you can do is cross your fingers and hope your favorite character is still standing when it finally gets light again. Clumsy storytelling makes the film feel overlong. There's a nice thank-you message from director and star before the show, and, if it turns out this really is The End, it's a satisfying--if hokey--finish.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter runs 106 minutes and is rated R for "sequences of violence throughout."
The premise is less interesting and the cast less enjoyable than Underworld, but Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is big, dumb fun. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter gets four.
Next on the docket, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage.
The original Triple X is back in business.
Well, dear reader(s)... Now. We. Are. Talking. Were you in the market for a great, fun actioner? Well, you found it! xXx: The Return of Xander Cage is filled with absurd stunts, good-natured humor, pretty faces, and hardbodies all 'round. The plot obviously won't tax those little grey cells too much, but there are a few nice surprises wrapped around edge-of-your-seat action and a truly likable cast. And did I mention ridiculous stunts? Over the top in the most fun way. Vin Diesel knows his niche as well as any actor, and, while there may come a day when I no longer get a kick out of watching him do what he does, it is not this day.
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage clocks in at 107 minutes and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and for sexual material."
It's not brain surgery, but The Return of Xander Cage is about as much fun as I can imagine having at the cinema. Of a possible nine Weasleys, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage gets seven.
Movie Catchup Day Two kicked off with Gold.
Against all odds, a down-on-his-luck prospector and a geologist strike gold in Indonesia.
Initially, Gold appeared to be another potential awards goldmine (see what I did there?) for Matthew McConaughey, but his loony performance doesn't help this too-talky tale get off the ground. McConaughey underwent another extreme physical transformation to portray Kenny Wells, a doughy dude with a receding hairline, and nothing says "Oscar bait" like a handsome actor who looks nothing like himself in a based-on-a-true-story role. Sadly, neither the performance nor the picture is very memorable, and Wells' appearance is played mostly for mean-spirited laughs. Edgar Ramirez is the film's highlight, understated as Wells' partner Michael Acosta. The picture moves slowly and is never really that interesting, thanks to unlikable characters and twists that can be seen a mile out. Ultimately it's a nasty little tale about greed and willful cluelessness, The Wolf of Wall Street without the gripping relevance.
Gold runs 121 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout and some sexuality/nudity."
Gold is a dull, disappointing movie with little to recommend it. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Gold gets four.
Fangirl points: An Iron Maiden t-shirt is pretty prominent in one important scene. This is not a drill: an Iron Maiden t-shirt is in the movie!
The final installment on the weekend's busy schedule: Oscar hopeful Lion.
A young man who was lost as a child in India, then adopted by an Australian couple, searches for his birth family.
Lion is a moving true story of love and, if we're being honest, not a little good fortune. The film points out that over 80,000 children go missing in India each year, but this is a story about one of the lucky ones. Lost and miles from home, Saroo faces many threats to his well-being before being adopted by a childless, loving Australian couple. The setup drags on too long, and, for my money, the film would have been better served if it were trimmed a bit and/or spent more time on the young man's search for his birth family and less on the travails of his younger self. Having said that, newcomer Sunny Pawar is delightful and absolutely heartbreaking as the younger Saroo, owning the screen like a seasoned pro. Early scenes of his time on the streets are tense and uncomfortable, but effective. Nicole Kidman and David Wenham are almost too good to be true as the boy's adoptive parents, challenges touched on but mostly airbrushed like an unfortunate wrinkle before botox. (Sorry, Nicole.) As grownup Saroo delves ever more deeply into his search, Dev Patel is brilliant; eager and terrified, desperate for information, but hiding his intent from even those who might be able to help. It's a testament to the power of this story that, in an age where everyone seems to have forgotten how to behave appropriately at the cinema, there was nary a peep from my audience for the duration.
Lion clocks in at 118 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic material and some sensuality."
Lion is a sobering but uplifting tale of love and luck. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Lion gets seven.
An outing takes a sinister turn for three teenage friends (Anya Taylor-Joy,
Haley Lu Richardson, and Jessica Sula) when they are kidnapped by a ruthless
stranger (James McAvoy) and imprisoned in his basement. They soon learn that their
captor has multiple-personality disorder, forcing them to plot their escape
without ever knowing which of his 23 personas -- young or old, male or female,
benign or monstrous -- they will confront on the way out. Written and directed
by M. Night Shyamalan. ~ Violet LeVoit, Rovi
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Cast: James McAvoy, Anya Taylor-Joy, Betty Buckley, Haley
Lu Richardson, Brad William Henke,
Sebastian Arcelus
Release Date: Jan
20, 2017
Rated PG-13 for Some Language, Disturbing Thematic
Content, Disturbing Behavior and Violence
Runtime: 1 hr. 57 min.
Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller
Review:
M. Night Shyamalan hasn’t made a good movie in a long
long while.I’ve personally found him to
be one of the most frustrating and annoying directors in recent memory.Typically his films have an interesting
premise but he can’t help but show us exactly how clever he thinks he is.Spilt suffers from similar issues.Shyamalan is helped greatly by some stellar
performances from James McAvoy and Anya Taylor-Joy.McAvoy is fully committed to the role and its
fun watching him switch through personalities with incredible ease.McAvoy’s role is the center piece but Anya
Taylor-Joy is nearly as impressive in a more subtle role.Taylor-Joy continues to impress after her
star making turn in last years The Witch.She displays some impressive talent that bodes well for her in the
future.Sadly, both performances can’t
save a messily made child abuse allegory.In a better filmmaker’s hand, this could have been a special film that
could have really taken advantage of the strong performances.Instead Shyamalan delivers a heavy handed
child abuse parable all the while sexualizing his young stars with some
outright creepy shots and plot devices.Like
every M. Night Shyamalan there’s a twist and a pointless cameo by the
director.The twist is entirely
inorganic and comes entirely out of left field, its sole purpose is to remind
audiences that Shyamalan made decent films a long time ago.
Dearest Blog: This weekend it was off to Marquee Cinemas for La La Land (finally!) and Live By Night.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. I will offer thumbs-up or thumbs-down on endings, without divulging specifics; if that's more than you want to know, read no further until you've seen these.
First up: Oscar hopeful La La Land.
An aspiring actress and a jazz musician chase their dreams in Los Angeles.
Let it be noted, dear reader(s), that, from its first trailer, I've anticipated La La Land as a great movie and likely Best Picture winner. I generally love musicals, and--while romances aren't my favorite--who could resist a pairing as adorable as Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling? Certainly not I! Well...as it turns out, La La Land IS a great movie, and the probable Best Picture winner...but it's a lousy musical.
Getting the bad news out of the way first: La La Land features forgettable original tunes and unimaginative choreography. Neither Gosling nor Stone is a great singer, at least not as demonstrated here. (Stone has done Broadway, so I know she has to be better than this.) The musical numbers are exactly why some folks hate musicals: random songs dropped in mostly random places; there's no flow whatsoever. Finally, the movie has a disappointing finale that's so at odds with the rest it feels as if someone accidentally tacked on the ending of a different film. As La La Land's final impression, it casts a heavy shadow on the whole. (This is not a judgment of a happy or unhappy ending; it's about how the ending fits the rest of the picture.)
Having said all that, the good news is, there's lots of good news! La La Land is a compelling enough story that its musical failings are almost entirely forgivable. Stone and Gosling manage to out-cute Lawrence and Pratt as the movie year's most lovable couple, a feat I would have thought impossible. Remarkably, their weak singing voices play as part of a self-deprecating charm, and their characters' struggles and dreams should be relatable to just about anyone. La La Land boasts lovely production design and costumes, and there is one smokin' number, performed by John Legend, that even manages to break the movie's tired-old-showtunes mold.
La La Land clocks in at 128 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some language."
La La Land is a very good movie, a terrible musical, and a love letter to Los Angeles that fails to sell Los Angeles as anything worth loving.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, La La Land gets seven.
Next on the docket: Ben Affleck's mob thriller Live by Night.
A Boston mobster takes over Florida operations for a former rival.
By now you've probably heard enough negative commentary to guess Live by Night won't go down in the annals of legendary gangster movies. While that's probably true, that's not to say it isn't a worthwhile afternoon at the pictures.
Writer/director Affleck has created an interesting--if deliberately paced--story full of twists and turns. Per usual, he's crafted himself a role that plays to his stoic style and, while he does an admirable job, it's Sienna Miller who steals the show as his sometime girlfriend. If you're into mob movies in general, there are some...erm...offers people can't refuse, but the violence isn't overly graphic, and the movie never feels like a shoot 'em up where the story only occasionally interrupts.
Live by Night runs 128 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, language throughout, and some sexuality/nudity."
Live by Night may not rank among the all-time great gangster pictures, but it's a well-executed tale with a satisfying payout.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Live by Night gets six and a half.
Fangirl points: Christian Clemenson! Brendan Gleeson! Titus Welliver!
A young boy (Lewis MacDougall) befriends a wise tree monster (voiced by Liam
Neeson) while coping with bullying and the terminal illness of his mother
(Felicity Jones). He moves in with his grandmother (Sigourney Weaver) as his
mom's condition deteriorates, and uses his imagination and friendship with the
monster to escape reality. J.A. Bayona (The Impossible) directed this fantasy
drama. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: Juan Antonio Bayona
Cast: Felicity Jones, Sigourney Weaver, Liam Neeson, Toby
Kebbell, Ben Moor, Lewis MacDougall
Release Date: Dec
23, 2016
Rated PG-13 for Thematic Content and Some Scary Images
Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min.
Genres: Drama, Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review:
Juan Antonio Bayona’s A Monster Calls is an interesting
fantasy parable with a very human message.Bayona crafts together a beautifully gothic tale with some impressive
visual flourishes peppered in throughout.Its pace is decidedly measured and methodical throughout.It might be a turnoff to some because it does
move at snail’s pace during large portions of the film.The monster and his tales are wonderfully
animated through lush water colored animation which is as striking as it is
effective. The cast lead by Lewis MacDougall is stellar through out and you’d
think with the bigger names in the film, MacDougall might get lost in the
shuffle but he never does. He turns in an impressive performance filled with
melancholy and visible pain.Its finale
delivers a simple and
straightforward lesson but do so with a strong emotional
punch sure to leave many in tears.
Death dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) must fend off brutal attacks from both
the Lycan clan and the vampire faction that betrayed her. Joining forces with
allies David (Theo James) and Thomas (Peter Andersson), she embarks on a quest
to end the eternal war between the two races, even if it means making the
ultimate sacrifice.
Director: Anna Foerster
Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Charles Dance, Tobias
Menzies
Release Date: Jan
06, 2017
Rated R f or strong bloody violence, and some sexuality
Runtime: 1 hr. 31 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror
Review:
Underworld: Blood Wars is exactly what you would expect
from this 5th entry into the on going franchise.Kate Beckinsale slips back into her latex bodysuit
with relative ease but the film’s biggest failing is taking her off screen for
large chunks of time to deal with an unnecessarily convoluted plot.While Game of Throne alums, Charles Dance and
Tobias Menzies, are welcome additions to the series, Beckinsale is the reason
people turn out to these films.Anna
Foerster delivers the same stylish wire work action people have come to expect
and I appreciate that she’s trying to deliver a meatier plot.Unfortunately, she loses sight of the fact
that this series has always been a solid B movie franchise with a singular
star.Losing focus on Beckinsale’s
Selene is a major misstep and severely limits how enjoyable this film is.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a pair of unlikely bedfellows: Hidden Figures and Underworld: Blood Wars.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First up: Hidden Figures.
A trio of female, African-American mathematicians helps put America's first man in orbit.
Things you've probably guessed about Hidden Figures: It boasts excellent performances from Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and a noteworthy supporting cast, and tells a compelling story about some unsung heroes of the early space race. Something you might not have guessed: Hidden Figures is actually a lot of fun, like, legitimate, ear-to-ear smiling fun. That's not to say the movie is without its disturbing and serious moments--the early sixties weren't a super-easy time for women or people of color in these United States--but overall I am shocked by how entertaining this picture is. Hidden Figures goes light on the math-ey details (thank goodness) and instead presents a lively tale of three determined ladies who changed the face of the nation for the better and forever. Cut with snippets of historical footage, the movie provides a timely and important message about the harmfulness of prejudice, the value of everyone's contributions, and, yes, even the importance of the right bathroom facilities.
Hidden Figures runs 127 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic elements and some language."
Hidden Figures sheds welcome light on a little-known bit of American history in uplifting fashion, kicking off 2017 in fine form. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hidden Figures gets seven and a half.
Fangirl Points: Taraji (one of my best girl-crushes), and Aldis Hodge!
Next on the docket: Underworld: Blood Wars.
Betrayed by her own kind, a world-weary Selene is drawn back into the Vampire/Lycan war.
The most recent Underworld installment has a cheap television feel to it, right down to the "previously on..." segment that kicks it off. The story is unimaginative, with dialogue straight out of a 14-year-old's AO3 fanfic, BUT...you officially may file this movie under "so awful it's almost great." The rehash of previous installments is a waste of time--you wouldn't have trouble following this empty-headed nonsense even if you'd never seen an Underworld movie before--and the picture suffers a few dull spells where the lovely Kate Beckinsale is nowhere to be found. Theo James does the best he can with his silly, underwritten role, and Bradley James is a brooding highlight who appears poised to carry the franchise forward, should anyone feel that's really necessary. Blood Wars has a properly gloomy look and feel, with a melodramatic score and a good deal of stylized, slow-mo action, but it's always a bit disappointing when flippin' vampires and flippin' werewolves end up taking each other out with plain old handguns. Highlight/lowlight of Blood Wars: A Vampire Elder, in all his gravitas, sends off one of his warriors with a smirk and a smack on the ass, just like your garden-variety first-base coach.
Underworld: Blood Wars clocks in at 91 minutes and is rated R for "strong, bloody violence and some sexuality."
Blood Wars is dopey fun, as unnecessary a sequel as ever there was. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Underworld: Blood Wars gets five.
Fangirl Points: Theo James, ever since he had deadly relations with Lady Mary Crawley!
