MOVIE REVIEW: UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS

Death dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) must fend off brutal attacks from both the Lycan clan and the vampire faction that betrayed her. Joining forces with allies David (Theo James) and Thomas (Peter Andersson), she embarks on a quest to end the eternal war between the two races, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice.

Director: Anna Foerster

Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Charles Dance, Tobias Menzies

Release Date: Jan 06, 2017

Rated R f or strong bloody violence, and some sexuality

Runtime: 1 hr. 31 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror

Review:

Underworld: Blood Wars is exactly what you would expect from this 5^th entry into the on going franchise.  Kate Beckinsale slips back into her latex bodysuit with relative ease but the film’s biggest failing is taking her off screen for large chunks of time to deal with an unnecessarily convoluted plot.  While Game of Throne alums, Charles Dance and Tobias Menzies, are welcome additions to the series, Beckinsale is the reason people turn out to these films.  Anna Foerster delivers the same stylish wire work action people have come to expect and I appreciate that she’s trying to deliver a meatier plot.  Unfortunately, she loses sight of the fact that this series has always been a solid B movie franchise with a singular star.  Losing focus on Beckinsale’s Selene is a major misstep and severely limits how enjoyable this film is.

C

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Hidden Figures & Underworld: Blood Wars

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a pair of unlikely bedfellows: Hidden Figures and Underworld: Blood Wars.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

First up: Hidden Figures.

 

A trio of female, African-American mathematicians helps put America's first man in orbit.

Things you've probably guessed about Hidden Figures: It boasts excellent performances from Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and a noteworthy supporting cast, and tells a compelling story about some unsung heroes of the early space race. Something you might not have guessed: Hidden Figures is actually a lot of fun, like, legitimate, ear-to-ear smiling fun. That's not to say the movie is without its disturbing and serious moments--the early sixties weren't a super-easy time for women or people of color in these United States--but overall I am shocked by how entertaining this picture is. Hidden Figures goes light on the math-ey details (thank goodness) and instead presents a lively tale of three determined ladies who changed the face of the nation for the better and forever. Cut with snippets of historical footage, the movie provides a timely and important message about the harmfulness of prejudice, the value of everyone's contributions, and, yes, even the importance of the right bathroom facilities.

 

Hidden Figures runs 127 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic elements and some language."

 

Hidden Figures sheds welcome light on a little-known bit of American history in uplifting fashion, kicking off 2017 in fine form. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hidden Figures gets seven and a half.

 

Fangirl Points: Taraji (one of my best girl-crushes), and Aldis Hodge!

 

Next on the docket: Underworld: Blood Wars.

 

Betrayed by her own kind, a world-weary Selene is drawn back into the Vampire/Lycan war.

 

The most recent Underworld installment has a cheap television feel to it, right down to the "previously on..." segment that kicks it off. The story is unimaginative, with dialogue straight out of a 14-year-old's AO3 fanfic, BUT...you officially may file this movie under "so awful it's almost great." The rehash of previous installments is a waste of time--you wouldn't have trouble following this empty-headed nonsense even if you'd never seen an Underworld movie before--and the picture suffers a few dull spells where the lovely Kate Beckinsale is nowhere to be found. Theo James does the best he can with his silly, underwritten role, and Bradley James is a brooding highlight who appears poised to carry the franchise forward, should anyone feel that's really necessary. Blood Wars has a properly gloomy look and feel, with a melodramatic score and a good deal of stylized, slow-mo action, but it's always a bit disappointing when flippin' vampires and flippin' werewolves end up taking each other out with plain old handguns. Highlight/lowlight of Blood Wars: A Vampire Elder, in all his gravitas, sends off one of his warriors with a smirk and a smack on the ass, just like your garden-variety first-base coach.

 

Underworld: Blood Wars clocks in at 91 minutes and is rated R for "strong, bloody violence and some sexuality."

 

Blood Wars is dopey fun, as unnecessary a sequel as ever there was. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Underworld: Blood Wars gets five.

 

Fangirl Points: Theo James, ever since he had deadly relations with Lady Mary Crawley!

 

Until next time... 

 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: TOTAL RECALL

IN THEATERS

TOTAL RECALL



Originally adapted by director Paul Verhoeven in 1990, author Philip K. Dick's classic sci-fi short story We Can Remember It for You Wholesale returns to the big screen in this remake starring Colin Farrell, Bryan Cranston, and Kate Beckinsale, and directed by Underworld's Len Wiseman. The planet has been decimated by nuclear war in the late 21st century, leaving only two nations -- the United Federation of Britain and the Colony. Douglas Quaid (Farrell) is a factory worker with a stable job and a loving wife (Beckinsale), but upon learning that a company named Rekall could grant him the memory of the ultimate espionage adventure, he decides that a virtual vacation is better than no vacation at all. But in the midst of having the new memories implanted, something goes haywire. Still strapped to the chair as the system breaks down, he's branded a spy as the authorities close in, and quickly flees for his life. Later, Quaid discovers that he has a secret identity, and he joins forces with rebel soldier Melina (Jessica Biel) on a mission to track down Matthias (Bill Nighy), the head of a fierce resistance movement that's been labeled a terrorist organization by the tyrannical Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston). Cohaagen seeks to control the entire free world, and now the harder Quaid fights to defeat him, the clearer it becomes that his memory had been altered long before he walked into Rekall. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Len Wiseman

Cast: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine

Release Date: Aug 03, 2012

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity and language

Runtime: 1 hr. 49 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

The 1990 Total Recall was one of the few Arnold Schwarzenegger films I’ve always had a real affection for, the other being Predator. With Paul Verhoeven inspired direction it was on of those classic 90’s sci-fi films that just worked on so many levels. To say that this remake is pointless and ultimately soulless kind undersells the point. Les Wiseman has made a career of “borrowing” styles from other better films and for this he seems to have just lifted entire visual styles from other directors and films (Minority Report, Blade Runner & J.J. Abrams wonderful lens flare amongst the most obvious). His film has a polish but it’s about as hacky as it gets. The plot is roughly the same from the 1990 film except Mars and air have been replaced with Blade Runner-esque Australia and invasion. Outside of that the plot hits the basic bullet points and even replicates some of the scenes with the shiny new veneer except everything feels rushed, lacking any depth. Colin Farrell is in cruise control for the better part of the film and honestly he isn’t asked to do much, ditto for Jessica Biel whose character is about as one dimensional as they come. Kate Bekinsale works her badass chick routine while looking steely the entire time. Considering her character was the combination of 2 characters from the 1990 film, you’d think there’d be more depth to her but like everybody else in the move she’s just asked to follow the threadbare script and look good posing for the camera. On the bright side, you can make a great drinking game out of the number of time she’s got her mouth slightly open while eye banging the camera. Bryan Cranston’s Cohaagen barely registers, wasting the wonderful talents of a fine actor. Bill Nighy appears and disappears from the screen so quickly you’d barely notice him. There are some visually fun action sequences here but nothing close enough to justify the remake. Occasionally remakes surprise you, other times they remind you that just because it’s new doesn’t mean its better.

D+

MOVIE REVIEW: UNDERWORLD AWAKENING

IN THEATERS

UNDERWORLD AWAKENING 3D



The Underworld franchise continues with this fourth film, bringing the action horror hybrid franchise into 3D for the first time. Kate Beckinsale returns to the series after taking the third outing off. Filmmaking duo Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein (2010's Shelter) direct from a script by John Hlavin and J. Michael Straczynski. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Bjorn Stein, Mans Marlind

Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Stephen Rea, Michael Ealy, India Eisley, Sandrine Holt

Release Date: Jan 20, 2012

Rated R for strong violence and gore, and for some language

Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror

Review:

Somewhere along the long it might strike you how strange the entire Underworld franchise is. Kate Beckinsale somehow became an action star after seemingly being set on a career in forgettable rom-coms. The first Underworld was the brain child of a soon to be director (Len Wiseman), former stuntman (Kevin Grevioux) and Danny McBride. It’s became a certified hit for a variety of reasons including the fact that Beckinsale looks quite fetching in latex and blue contacts. I’ve been a fan since the first film and I’ll never claim it’s anything more than derivative flotsam, albeit enjoyable. This far into the series you know what these films are about, a loose mythology with more slow-mo action than you can shake a stick at. Whether you enjoy any of it will depend on whether you enjoy the previous ones, as mindless fun its quick loud and bloody. Character development in this new one never bothers with things like motivations or explanations, supporting characters simply help Selene because the script says so. In all honesty all that story malarkey tends to slows down the proceedings but luckily the directors keep the film moving at a steady pace throwing up some fun action sequences, the 3D rotates from unnoticeable to impressive to frenzied, which keeps the eyes and ears fairly entertained. Before you know it you’ve reached the end, personally I was surprised at it’s good sense of fun. Like decent candy, it’s not good for you all the time but occasionally a taste can really hit the spot.

C+

[FULL TRAILER] UNDERWORLD AWAKENING 3D

2nd trailer is out and while I have my reservations I can’t help but say I’m kind of looking forward to it, however I can’t help but laugh a bit as Beckinsale literally burns rubber sans car……

[Trailer] UNDERWORLD AWAKENING 3D

I have a handful of franchises that are guilty pleasures, the Resident Evil franchise comes to mind but that seems more like sadomasochism at this point, and the Underworld series is always one that drags me in.

I wish I could say it was cinematic reason but it’s not, Beckinsale looks amazing in these movies and third prequel had one of my favorite genre hotties, Rhona Mitra.

This trailer looks like more of the same along with the terribly passé wirework action but its got Beckinsale looking hot again, vampires and werewolves and some other nonsense.

It comes out in January, studios dumping grounds for crap filmmaking, and I’ll be there opening weekend!

Movie Reviews: WHITEOUT & THE INVENTION OF LYING

Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Movie Reviews: WHITEOUT & THE INVENTION OF LYING

ON DVD

WHITEOUT

A U.S. marshall tracking a vicious murderer through the Antarctic must locate the killer before the sun sets for six months, or risk being trapped in the dark with the madman for months on end in director Dominic Sena's adaptation of the graphic novel series by Greg Rucka. U.S. marshall Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale) has been stationed at Antarctica's South Pole research base for two years, and now after turning in her resignation she's looking forward to finally going home. The last plane out leaves in just three days, and just after that ..Antarctica.. will not see the sun again for another 24 weeks. Then, just 72 hours before she is set to escape the coming darkness, a body is discovered in the ice -- prompting the first murder investigation ever to take place on the desolate Antarctic Circle continent. Little does Carrie realize that she's suddenly been thrust into a mystery over 60 years in the making, and that the killer is ready to strike again in order to protect a grim secret. Now, as the death toll starts to rise, loyalties shift, and a massive series of whiteouts blow bitter winds across the frozen landscape, the U.S. marshall who wanted nothing more than to escape the cold must work around the clock to catch a killer before the blinding white snow gives way to the deadly darkness of winter. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Gabriel Macht, Tom Skerritt, Columbus Short, Alex O'Loughlin.

Director Dominic Sena

Release Date: Sept. 11, 2009

Rated R for violence, grisly images, brief strong language and some nudity.

Runtime: 1 hr. 41 min.

Genres: Action, Thriller

REVIEW:

It’s never a good thing when the peak of a movie is a gratuitously long shot of Beckinsale disrobing as she gets ready for a shower. After watching the film, I am left with the feeling that there was more effort put into figuring out how to get Kate Beckinsale to show some skin in a movie that takes place entirely, sans a few flashbacks, in the South Pole. Mission accomplished, I guess. As for the rest of the movie, Dominic Sena delivers a woefully paint by the number murder mystery that seems like it was scripted by a computer programmed to churn out low level CSI plots. Everything about the story is terribly hackneyed and there is zero tension as every twist or turn is about as obvious as a little league soft ball pitch. Sena’s direction here is equally generic as he brings very little to the table doing nothing with the locale outside of pointing out that it’s really cold and windy. Kate Beckinsale bored most of the time and is just going through the motions; it’s not a terrible performance but nothing special either. Gabriel Macht is as stoic and mysterious as the script allows but like everything else here his work like his character is generic with a capital G. Tom Skerritt has a supporting role but mostly he just looks like he wishes he was elsewhere the entire time. The rest of the cast are mainly fodder for the killer especially when they have something to say which might be important. Whiteout is one of the strongest works in cinematic banality I’ve seen in a long while. It’s the type of film that plays in the background and you don’t really feel like you missing anything.

D

THE INVENTION OF LYING

Ricky Gervais directs himself in The Invention of Lying, a comedy in which everyone in the world tells the truth except for one misfit in the film industry, who after discovering the act of lying, milks it to become the world's most phenomenal performer. Matthew Robinson will co-direct from his own script, which he and Gervais collaborated on. Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe, Jonah Hill, and Louis C.K. co-star in the Media Rights Capital production, with John Hodgman, Tina Fey, Christopher Guest, and Jeffrey Tambor rounding out the rest of the cast. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide


Cast: Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Louis C.K., Rob Lowe, Jonah Hill.

Director: Ricky Gervais

Release Date: Oct 02, 2009

Rated PG-13 for language including some sexual material and a drug reference

Runtime:1 hr. 39 min.

Genres: Comedy, Romance


REVIEW:



The Invention of Lying is the type of film that leaves you scratching your head once you’ve finished watching it. The cast is a collection of comedic heavyweights who could carry a film on their own. It’s directed and co written by its star Ricky Gervais whom I consider a comedic genius. The movie’s conceit is interesting and initially funny but as the film goes on it loses traction fairly quickly. Gervais has an interesting idea to work with and there are decent amounts of laughs to be had but some of the concepts just aren’t executed to the fullest extent. A secondary issue is that the tone of the film is unclear throughout as it changes frequently and as the film nears its end it decides to play a little too nice and safe which comes off as artificial and hollow. Gervais himself is in fine form in his role as he delivers plenty of laughs through well timed delivery of lines and he even gets a moment stretch his drama muscle in a pivotal scene with surprising effectiveness. Jennifer Garner isn’t really asked to do too much outside of stare blankly and recite lines like she’s a 4 year old. Rob Lowe is adequate as Gervais counterpoint but doesn’t really leave much of an impression. The rest of the cast such as Louis C.K., Jonah Hill and Tina Fey are terrible underused with Fey showing up for what amounts to a short cameo. It’s hard to not walk away from The Invention of Lying without the slightest ting of disappointment. It’s a solid film that’s entertaining and contains some fairly interesting ideas, one that will probably infuriate religious folks, but the execution is sporadic and uneven, a real shame as it could have been something special with all the talent assembled.




C+