Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Bumblebee, Aquaman, and Holmes & Watson

Holiday Catch-Up Triple Feature!

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the catch-up triple-bill of Bumblebee, Aquaman, and Holmes & Watson.

Spoiler level here will be mild, including a couple non-plot-specific things not revealed by trailers (far as I remember).

First on the docket: Bumblebee, a Transformers origins story.

Bumblebee is a pretty great film that, for me, was ruined by a really bad audience. I'll keep this review as objective as possible, but I know I didn't love it half as much as it deserved due to the poor theater experience.

Bumblebee represents a bit of a reset for the much-maligned Transformers franchise. Gone are the male leads and testosterone-driven action, replaced by Hailee Steinfeld as our young heroine with extensive auto-repair skills and an impressive collection of concert tees. Though Bumblebee doesn't diverge from the Transformers mold, Steinfeld carries the acting and action almost entirely on her tiny shoulders. Second-fiddle John Cena is amusing, and Jorge Lendeborg, Jr. is quite charming, but mostly it's down to Steinfeld and giant alien robots. Bumblebee's effects are sufficiently huge, and thankfully minus the dodgy bits that plague many CGI-heavy blockbusters these days. Sound mixing and editing are extraordinary. The picture boasts a hot 80s soundtrack that helps it accurately capture the feel of the decade. I didn't enjoy Bumblebee as much as the previous two entries in the franchise, but even I must admit it is, objectively, an improvement and a nice step in a positive direction.

Bumblebee runs 114 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of sci-fi action and violence."

Bumblebee feels longer than it is and I enjoyed it less than I should have, but it can fairly be called not just a good Transformers movie, but a good movie all 'round.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Bumblebee gets seven and a half.

Fangirl points: Lovin' that Damned tee! And Save a Prayer in digital surround-sound? Yes, please!

The filling in yesterday's cinema sandwich was the latest entry in DC Comics' cinematic universe, Aquaman.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Well, it's not Aquaman, though for years a yellow cartoon sponge has been laughed at only slightly more than DC's waterlogged hero. That ends now.

I am a DC girl through and through, and I'd been giving big-screen Aquaman the side-eye for some time. Between Arthur Curry's comic-relief role in Justice League and a wisecrack-heavy trailer, I expected a full-on attempt to mimic Marvel's "funny" superhero films. While Aquaman is neither as grounded as the Nolan Bat-verse nor as grim as Batman v. Superman, I'm pleased to report it finds a solid balance and is quite the enjoyable outing.

Jason Momoa is terrific as the would-be King of Atlantis, carrying the picture with his super-heroic buffness and easy charm. The dude-bro act from Justice League has been toned wayyyyyyy down, leaving a very human, very 2018 hero who hugs his pa, cries over his ma, and even makes a reasonable facsimile of that awful classic Aquaman costume look pretty rad. Patrick Wilson appears to be having the time of his life as Curry's half-brother and nemesis, gleefully overacting at every turn.The film is all the better for having names like Willem Dafoe, Dolph Lundgren, and Nicole Kidman in supporting roles. The only real negative is a dull turn by Amber Heard, who occupies just enough screen time to be annoying, but thankfully not enough to ruin the film. Aquaman boasts magical visuals, and natural comedy that flows well and doesn't feel forced. The movie does run a bit long, and the second act starts feeling like one run-on fight; like most superhero movies, by the time it hit the two-hour mark, I was ready to jump in and save the damn world myself.

Ultimately, though, Aquaman is enough fun that the need for a trim is a small quibble. Though I'm still jonesing for a really good Batman movie starring my favorite Bruce Wayne, Ben Affleck*, I'm happy to let Arthur Curry and Diana Prince get DC back on solid cinematic footing.

Aquaman clocks in at 143 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and some language."

Aquaman is a redeeming big-screen outing for an overdue hero and an unlikely win for DC. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Aquaman gets eight.

Finally, yesterday's closer was the Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly comedy, Holmes & Watson.

A comedic take on the world's greatest detective and his sidekick.

Here I shall go on record as a fan of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, both individually and as a team. Talladega Nights is a top go-to movie in my house; we watch it religiously and quote it relentlessly. I mention that only to be clear: There's nothing that made me pre-disposed to dislike an idiotic comedy; it was quite the unpleasant surprise that I hated Holmes & Watson so, so much. The sad fact of the matter is: It just isn't funny.

Holmes & Watson hopes to earn laughs by exaggerating Sherlock Holmes' insufferable arrogance and John Watson's sometimes pitiful devotion. Ferrell's trademark ridiculousness is in full effect, but the film is more gross-out than slapstick. Proving that resistance turns up in the unlikeliest of places, Holmes & Watson takes a few swipes at He Who Must Not Be Named and American gun culture. While both are easy marks, that sort of poke only works if it's funny and/or clever, and this is most emphatically neither. Even more unforgivably, the movie is a criminal waste of two of my best girl crushes, Rebecca Hall and Kelly MacDonald. There's one solid gag at the end, but it's way too little, way too late.

Holmes & Watson runs a painful 90 minutes and is rated PG13 for "crude sexual material, language, some violence, and drug references."

If you really need a Sherlock Homes fix for 2018, your better big-screen bet is the one where he's a garden gnome.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Holmes & Watson begrudgingly gets one.

Fangirl points: He must've lost a bet to turn up in this garbage, but great to see Hugh Laurie!

Until next time...

*Shut up. I won't believe he's not coming back until they cast someone else.

MOVIE REVIEW: BIRD BOX

When a mysterious force decimates the population, only one thing is certain -- if you see it, you die. The survivors must now avoid coming face to face with an entity that takes the form of their worst fears. Searching for hope and a new beginning, a woman and her children embark on a dangerous journey through the woods and down a river to find the one place that may offer sanctuary. To make it, they'll have to cover their eyes from the evil that chases them -- and complete the trip blindfolded.

Director: Susanne Bier

Cast: Sandra Bullock,  Trevante Rhodes, Jacki Weaver, Rosa Salazar, Danielle Macdonald, Lil Rel Howery, Tom Hollander, BD Wong, Sarah Paulson, Colson Baker John Malkovich

Rating: R for violence, bloody images, language and brief sexuality

Release Date: December 21, 2018

Genres: Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi

Runtime: 2h 4 min

Review:

Bird Box the film is one of those film's that ultimately suffer from comparisons to another better film from this year, The Quiet Place.  The interesting thing is that the film only shares a handful of conceits with that film instead it feels much closer to a slightly elevated version of M. Night Shyamalan god awful The Happening.  That proximity doesn't do the film any favors especially since both expect you to take people running away from wind seriously and dramatically.  Bird Box, at the very least, gives a passing mention of a more supernatural explanation for the situation but it's clearly not interested in exploring the cause with any depth.  What works for the film is its direction and cast which make the film far more watchable than it should be.  Sandra Bullock carries the film with ease even if her character isn't the most likable character of the group.  Trevante Rhodes character comes off slightly better but his character isn't explored enough to come off as a fully formed character.   The remaining cast is filled with well known names and faces, all of whom elevate what amounts to fodder to get picked off as the film proceeds.  Its a missed opportunity since the cast, had they been given meatier roles, could have made for a more impactful film.  As is, Bird Box is a passable genre entry that will be quickly forgotten the instant it's over.

C 

MOVIE REVIEW: ROMA

A story that chronicles a year in the life of a middle-class family's maid in Mexico City in the early 1970s.  From Academy Award winner Alfonso Cuarón, director of "Gravity" & "Children of Men." Written and directed by Alfonso Cuarón.

Director: Alfonso Cuarón

Cast: Yalitza Aparicio, Marina de Tavira, Marco Graf, Daniela Demesa, Enoc Leaño, Daniel Valtierra

Rated PG for frenetic sequences of animated action violence, thematic elements, and mild language

Release Date: November 21, 2018

Genres: Drama

Runtime: 2h 15min

Review:

Alfonso Cuarón’s Roma is an experience and one of those films that truly captures a slice of life in an authentic and meaningful way.  Roma plot is simplistic by nature but it’s deceptively deep at the same time.  Cuarón frames each shot with such an impressive technical mastery that you’d need to revisit the film a few times to capture everything he’s laid out for you.  Your enjoyment of the film will depend on your connection to its characters and Yalitza Aparicio does a fine job of carrying the better part of the film.  There’s an air of authenticity about every movement and reaction that makes the film a special quality that’s rarely seen.  Roma’s themes are deep and universal but it’s hard to overlook that Cuarón has made a decidedly Mexican film which speaks to the culture and heritage in a meaningful way while tackling larger human moments that define a life.

A

MOVIE REVIEW: MARY POPPINS RETURNS

Now an adult with three children, bank teller Michael Banks learns that his house will be repossessed in five days unless he can pay back a loan. His only hope is to find a missing certificate that shows proof of valuable shares that his father left him years earlier. Just as all seems lost, Michael and his sister receive the surprise of a lifetime when Mary Poppins -- the beloved nanny from their childhood -- arrives to save the day and take the Banks family on a magical, fun-filled adventure.

Director: Rob Marshall

Cast: Emily Blunt, Manuel Miranda, Ben Whishaw, Emily Mortimer, Julie Walters, Dick Van Dyke, Angela Lansbury, Colin Firth, Meryl Streep

Release Date: December 19, 2018

Genres: Comedy, Family, Fantasy

Rated PG for some mild thematic elements and brief action

Runtime: 2h 10 min

Review:

I feel obliged to mention that I’ve never actually watched the original Mary Poppins start to finish.  I’m well aware of it by reputation and honestly I’m more familiar with The Simpson’s parody of it than the actual movie.  As such, I head into this reboot with the ability to take Rob Marshall’s sequel mostly on its own merits.  Keeping with the transparency theme, I’ll state that I’ve been a big fan of Marshall’s work since Chicago and Mary Poppins Returns only further confirms my admiration.  Marshall can stage a song and dance sequence like few others can and here he’s in top form delivering some wonderfully fizzy and enjoyable sequences that will leave a smile on your face.  The film moves at a steady pace, rarely lingering too long much less on the barebone’s plot.  It keeps moving on Marshall’s energy and its stars incredible charm and screen presence.  Emily Blunt is everything you could ask for as she takes over the reins from Julie Andrews.  It’s a role that seems tailor made for her and she plays it with palpable energy and vigor.  Manuel Miranda is a bit of an outlier, no so much that he’s bad but he just feels slightly miscast even though he does add some spice into some of songs.  Ben Whishaw and Emily Mortimer are mostly left by the wayside in thankless supporting roles.  It help that three child actors who spend the most time on screen with Blunt prove to be more capable of carrying their own.  It’s a treat to watch and the film as a whole is about as charming and delightful they come.

A-

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Mortal Engines and The Mule

Dearest Blog: On Friday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Mortal Engines and the Mule.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up: Mortal Engines.

In a dystopian future where "predator" cities devour lesser cities whole, a young lady seeks revenge for her mother's death.

Well, you guys, I'd call this Divergent Hunger Maze thingy a disappointment, but for that to be the case I'd have had to expect something, and, truly, I did not.

Beginning with a couple small positives: Anything that is meant to be terrifyingly, impressively huge in Mortal Engines is just that. Even in 2D, the predator cities appear ready to roll right off the screen to crush the assembled...erm...half-dozen paying customers. There's also the matter of Robert Sheehan, who, for the record, is entirely to blame for my seeing this instead of the Spider-Man cartoon. A cookie-cutter role doesn't give him much to work with, but he is the most interesting thing about the movie, as he generally is in any project fortunate enough to have him. Sadly, the good news ends there. In the unlikely event this film could have overcome it's wooden, unlikable lead, Hera Hilmar, there's dodgy green screen, painful dialogue, and some weirdly out-of-synch ADR to make absolutely certain it falls on its face. The thing runs over two hours (Hollywood, please explain yourself!) and consists mostly of pointless running around and Hilmar scowling at things. If Lord of the Rings fans were hoping for something to indicate Peter Jackson was back on the right track, I guess we'll just have to keep hoping.

Mortal Engines clocks in at a bloated 128 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of futuristic violence and action."

If you want to watch something from the people who made Lord of the Rings, well, maybe just stay home and watch Lord of the Rings again. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Moral Engines gets two.

Next on my agenda: The Mule.

When an elderly horticulturist falls on hard times, he accepts a job "driving" for a drug cartel.
Unlike Mortal Engines, I *did* have some expectations for The Mule, and, sadly, it failed to meet even the barest minimum. What trailers sold as genuine awards fodder instead turned out to be a couple hours of aiming for the lowest common denominator. Clint Eastwood stars as an Archie Bunker caricature whose cluelessness and bigotry are played for laughs at every available turn.

Pedestrian storytelling holds no surprises, and performances from a pretty noteworthy cast are anything but noteworthy; however, most unforgivable is the film's criminal waste of the brilliant Clifton Collins, Jr. I'd considered The Mule to be the weekend's "must see," but I think Spidey would have been the better call here.

The Mule runs 116 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout and brief sexuality/nudity."

Nestled deep in the heart of awards season, The Mule can only be considered a bitter disappointment.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Mule gets four.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: AQUAMAN

Once home to the most advanced civilization on Earth, the city of Atlantis is now an underwater kingdom ruled by the power-hungry King Orm. With a vast army at his disposal, Orm plans to conquer the remaining oceanic people -- and then the surface world. Standing in his way is Aquaman, Orm's half-human, half-Atlantean brother and true heir to the throne. With help from royal counselor Vulko, Aquaman must retrieve the legendary Trident of Atlan and embrace his destiny as protector of the deep.

Director: James Wan

Cast: Jason Momoa, Amber Heard, Willem Dafoe, Patrick Wilson, Dolph Lundgren, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Nicole Kidman

Release Date: December 14, 2018

Genres: Action, Adventure, Fantasy

Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for some language

Runtime: 2h 23 min

Review:

Aquaman is one of those properties that could have gone off the rails fairly easily much like Marvel’s Thor.  The best thing DC did was nail the casting much like they did with Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman.  Jason Momoa has great screen presence and he never takes himself overly serious.  He’s had a trial run with him making an impressive debut in Justice League and he proves that he’s more than capable of carrying his own film here.  The combination of James Wan and Jason Momoa make for an incredibly fun film which has a massive scope but it never loses its focus even as it becomes more and more ridiculous.  Wan does a healthy bit of world building delivering some incredibly impressive visual set pieces and action sequences.  After a bit of a slow start the film revs up and never let’s down, its energy is palpable through out even at nearly two in half hours.  The supporting cast rounds out the film with Amber Heard leaving the biggest impression with Nichole Kidman coming in a strong second.  It’s a testament to how well crafted the film is that you can overlook a few missteps like a bland villain, Black Manta would have worked better as the primary baddie, and some formulaic story beats.  Even so Aquaman is a superhero film that’s sure to please nearly everyone especially long suffering DC fans.  

A-