Holiday Catch-Up Triple Feature!
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the catch-up triple-bill of Bumblebee, Aquaman, and Holmes & Watson.
Spoiler level here will be mild, including a couple non-plot-specific things not revealed by trailers (far as I remember).
First on the docket: Bumblebee, a Transformers origins story.
Bumblebee is a pretty great film that, for me, was ruined by a really bad audience. I'll keep this review as objective as possible, but I know I didn't love it half as much as it deserved due to the poor theater experience.
Bumblebee represents a bit of a reset for the much-maligned Transformers franchise. Gone are the male leads and testosterone-driven action, replaced by Hailee Steinfeld as our young heroine with extensive auto-repair skills and an impressive collection of concert tees. Though Bumblebee doesn't diverge from the Transformers mold, Steinfeld carries the acting and action almost entirely on her tiny shoulders. Second-fiddle John Cena is amusing, and Jorge Lendeborg, Jr. is quite charming, but mostly it's down to Steinfeld and giant alien robots. Bumblebee's effects are sufficiently huge, and thankfully minus the dodgy bits that plague many CGI-heavy blockbusters these days. Sound mixing and editing are extraordinary. The picture boasts a hot 80s soundtrack that helps it accurately capture the feel of the decade. I didn't enjoy Bumblebee as much as the previous two entries in the franchise, but even I must admit it is, objectively, an improvement and a nice step in a positive direction.
Bumblebee runs 114 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of sci-fi action and violence."
Bumblebee feels longer than it is and I enjoyed it less than I should have, but it can fairly be called not just a good Transformers movie, but a good movie all 'round.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Bumblebee gets seven and a half.
Fangirl points: Lovin' that Damned tee! And Save a Prayer in digital surround-sound? Yes, please!
The filling in yesterday's cinema sandwich was the latest entry in DC Comics' cinematic universe, Aquaman.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Well, it's not Aquaman, though for years a yellow cartoon sponge has been laughed at only slightly more than DC's waterlogged hero. That ends now.
I am a DC girl through and through, and I'd been giving big-screen Aquaman the side-eye for some time. Between Arthur Curry's comic-relief role in Justice League and a wisecrack-heavy trailer, I expected a full-on attempt to mimic Marvel's "funny" superhero films. While Aquaman is neither as grounded as the Nolan Bat-verse nor as grim as Batman v. Superman, I'm pleased to report it finds a solid balance and is quite the enjoyable outing.
Jason Momoa is terrific as the would-be King of Atlantis, carrying the picture with his super-heroic buffness and easy charm. The dude-bro act from Justice League has been toned wayyyyyyy down, leaving a very human, very 2018 hero who hugs his pa, cries over his ma, and even makes a reasonable facsimile of that awful classic Aquaman costume look pretty rad. Patrick Wilson appears to be having the time of his life as Curry's half-brother and nemesis, gleefully overacting at every turn.The film is all the better for having names like Willem Dafoe, Dolph Lundgren, and Nicole Kidman in supporting roles. The only real negative is a dull turn by Amber Heard, who occupies just enough screen time to be annoying, but thankfully not enough to ruin the film. Aquaman boasts magical visuals, and natural comedy that flows well and doesn't feel forced. The movie does run a bit long, and the second act starts feeling like one run-on fight; like most superhero movies, by the time it hit the two-hour mark, I was ready to jump in and save the damn world myself.
Ultimately, though, Aquaman is enough fun that the need for a trim is a small quibble. Though I'm still jonesing for a really good Batman movie starring my favorite Bruce Wayne, Ben Affleck*, I'm happy to let Arthur Curry and Diana Prince get DC back on solid cinematic footing.
Aquaman clocks in at 143 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and some language."
Aquaman is a redeeming big-screen outing for an overdue hero and an unlikely win for DC. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Aquaman gets eight.
Finally, yesterday's closer was the Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly comedy, Holmes & Watson.
A comedic take on the world's greatest detective and his sidekick.
Here I shall go on record as a fan of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, both individually and as a team. Talladega Nights is a top go-to movie in my house; we watch it religiously and quote it relentlessly. I mention that only to be clear: There's nothing that made me pre-disposed to dislike an idiotic comedy; it was quite the unpleasant surprise that I hated Holmes & Watson so, so much. The sad fact of the matter is: It just isn't funny.
Holmes & Watson hopes to earn laughs by exaggerating Sherlock Holmes' insufferable arrogance and John Watson's sometimes pitiful devotion. Ferrell's trademark ridiculousness is in full effect, but the film is more gross-out than slapstick. Proving that resistance turns up in the unlikeliest of places, Holmes & Watson takes a few swipes at He Who Must Not Be Named and American gun culture. While both are easy marks, that sort of poke only works if it's funny and/or clever, and this is most emphatically neither. Even more unforgivably, the movie is a criminal waste of two of my best girl crushes, Rebecca Hall and Kelly MacDonald. There's one solid gag at the end, but it's way too little, way too late.
Holmes & Watson runs a painful 90 minutes and is rated PG13 for "crude sexual material, language, some violence, and drug references."
If you really need a Sherlock Homes fix for 2018, your better big-screen bet is the one where he's a garden gnome.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Holmes & Watson begrudgingly gets one.
Fangirl points: He must've lost a bet to turn up in this garbage, but great to see Hugh Laurie!
Until next time...
*Shut up. I won't believe he's not coming back until they cast someone else.
