MOVIE REVIEW: THREE THOUSAND YEARS OF LONGING

 

While attending a conference in Istanbul, Dr. Alithea Binnie happens to encounter a djinn who offers her three wishes in exchange for his freedom. This presents two problems: first, she doubts that he's real, and second, because she's a scholar of story and mythology, she knows all the cautionary tales of wishes gone wrong. The djinn pleads his case by telling her fantastical stories of his past. Eventually, she's beguiled and makes a wish that surprises them both.

Director: George Miller

Cast: Idris Elba, Tilda Swinton, Alyla Browne, Aamito Lagum, Aamito Lagum, Matteo Bocelli, Kaan Guldur

Release Date: August 26, 2022

Genre: Drama, Fantasy, Romance

Rated R for some sexual content, graphic nudity and brief violence

Runtime: 1h 48m

Review:

George Miller's Three Thousand Years of Longing is a lavish and ambitious fable that attempts to show the importance of storytelling.  Miller has lofty goals in mind, something that's fairly apparent early on with it's heady dissection of narratives.  His visual flourishes are wonderfully garish and impactful but the script is really where the meat of the film lies.  Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton carry the film's connective story with some solid chemistry together which makes the film work better than it should.  The collection of stories are a mixed bag with some faring better than others.  It makes for an uneven experience with the film lagging and perking up depending on the tale being told.  Its nature keeps the film from maintaining a consistent energy and flow in spite of committed performances across the board.  As such, the film ends up feeling much longer than it's actual runtime.  Additionally, the primary story between Swinton and Elba doesn't really connect the way it should even though it serves are the film's closer.  Three Thousand Years of Longing sadly never reaches the heights it aspires too ultimately coming off as noble misfire from George Miller.  

C+

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Samaritan & Ida Red

Dear reader(s), pickins are a little slim as far as at-home cinema this weekend, but I managed to find a couple offerings to pass the time. On the docket: Samaritan and Ida Red.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up: Samaritan (2022).

A young boy's obsession with a presumed-dead superhero leads to trouble.

Samaritan is a bargain basement hero tale that gives too little screen time to its "name" star (Sylvester Stallone) and too much screen time to its insufferable kid lead. There's a different standard for child actors, and the role is hardly anything to write home about, but even those allowances can't make this kid tolerable. Once you compartmentalize the annoying brat, the tale is typical good vs. evil, with Stallone laying down the law, no surprises but enjoyable enough. Set design, reminiscent of a 70s cop drama, perfectly captures the movie's gritty, ominous vibe. It's all a bit more broadly drawn than I expected — and maybe shame on me for that? — but Samaritan is otherwise a passable and forgettable straight-to-streaming flick.

Samaritan runs 102 minutes and is rated PG13 for "strong violence and strong language."

If we got a little spoiled by the quality of some films released directly to streaming during lockdown, movies like Samaritan will bring us back to Earth quickly enough. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Samaritan gets four.

Samaritan is now streaming on Prime Video.

Next on my agenda: Ida Red (2021).

A terminally-ill inmate turns to her son in a last-ditch attempt to enjoy some freedom before dying.

My dear reader(s), however many streaming offerings I may reject on a typical Saturday, there are a few things that earn an instant "yes" vote from me. Frank Grillo is one of them. Grillo is a guy I like in any movie, and a guy who mostly makes movies I like. He steals the show here as brother-in-law of the titular Ida Red (Academy Award winner Melissa Leo, taking the easy paycheck) and uncle of the film's real star, Josh Hartnett, the son on which Ida pins her hopes of freedom. The story is pretty basic cops and robbers, with family drama thrown in for good measure. It's violent, deliberately paced, and unsurprising, but I didn't hate it, and that's about the nicest thing I can say about anything these days.

Ida Red clocks in at 111 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, language throughout, and some sexual content."

Ida Red is a predictable but entertaining thriller with a solid cast. Of a possible nine  Weasleys, Ida Red gets five.

Ida Red is now streaming on the Showtime family of networks.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: THE INVITATION

 

A young woman is courted and swept off her feet, only to realize a gothic conspiracy is afoot.

Director: Jessica M. Thompson

Cast: Nathalie Emmanuel, Thomas Doherty, Stephanie Corneliussen, Alana Boden, Courtney Taylor, Hugh Skinner, Sean Pertwee 

Release Date: August 26, 2022

Genre: Horror, Thriller

Rated PG-13 for terror, violent content, some strong language, sexual content and partial nudity.

Runtime: 1h 44m

Review:

Jessica M. Thompson's The Invitation opens on dark and stormy night, something that should make most savvy audiences wary about what's to come.  After this clunky opening, Thompson tries her best to establish a gothic tone for the first two acts of the film.  Sadly, this is the type of horror film that never quite finds it footing as it tries to find a balance between mystery and jump scares in a consistent manner.  The biggest issue being that the mystery isn't all that complicated even if some of the details offer more intriguing ideas once revealed.  Sadly, the film bungles most of it's better ideas leaving the audience to follow the hapless heroine who's slow to react to some fairly major warning signs before its too late.  Nathalie Emmanuel's performance is committed but she struggles to find her any depth to the character which ends up coming off as flat and wooden.  Thomas Doherty chews up scenery with impressive aplomb as her love interest but you are left wondering what this Jonathan Rhys Meyers knock off could do with better material.  The usually reliable Sean Pertwee isn't asked to do much here outside of look annoyed and slightly constipated.  Alana Boden and Stephanie Corneliussen do have fun supporting turns with a particularly effective manicure that's energetically staged and shot.  Unfortunately, the film falls off a cliff in it's final act as it sheds it's reserved gothic tone and collapses into campy goofiness.  The Invitation ultimately proves to be a frustrating horror film since its concept could be fun but it fumbles its chances at delivering the goods 

D+

MOVIE REVIEW: BEAST

 

Recently widowed Dr. Nate Daniels and his two teenage daughters travel to a South African game reserve managed by Martin Battles, an old family friend and wildlife biologist. However, what begins as a journey of healing soon turns into a fearsome fight for survival when a lion, a survivor of bloodthirsty poachers, begins stalking them.

Director: Baltasar Kormákur

Cast: Idris Elba, Iyana Halley, Leah Sava Jeffries, Sharlto Copley

Release Date: August 19, 2022

Genre: Adventure, Drama, Horror, Thriller

Rated R for violent content, bloody images and some language.

Runtime: 1h 33m

Review:

Beast is a lean, straightforward but brain dead animal attack thriller that's engaging enough to keep your attention during it's brisk runtime.  Baltasar Kormákur directs the film with a steady hand, establishing the landscape and players early on before moving on to the mayhem everyone knows is coming.  The script provides the thinnest of characterization for Idris Elba's character, he's trying to connect with his daughter after the loss of his wife, while providing nearly none for a criminally underused Sharlto Copley.  Elba for his part is fully committed here and elevates the material as best he can.  This film isn't concerned with it character's as much as building tension for some well scripted set up which make the central CGI animal feel like a tangible menace.  The film's at its strongest during these sequences thanks to strong directions and staging.  Unfortunately, this is the kind of film where character's continue making abjectly stupid decisions which put them in harm's way.  It's brisk pace makes it easier to overlook some of these issues if not entirely.  Beast works as a mindless empty calorie fun but those looking for a better lion attack film might be better checking out 1996's The Ghost and the Darkness.

C+

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Contractor & The Gray Man

 Say, there, dear reader(s), did'ja miss me? Probably not, but I'm back with a couple reviews for your eager-ish eyes.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or the IMDB synopses.

First movie on today's agenda: The Contender.

A Special Forces sergeant, involuntarily discharged from the service, finds work (and trouble) with a private contractor.

The Contractor has been bouncing around the buy/rent streaming circuit for several months. I wasn't interested enough to pony up any cash, but, when it turned up for free, the time was right.

The Contractor lays its groundwork slowly. The first half-hour really feels like it's going nowhere, and there's nothing so complicated that the movie couldn't have cut to the chase in half the time. Chris Pine (my favorite of the Hollywood Chrises!) portrays James, a brooding hero trying to stay afloat in a post-military life that owes him better than he gets. Ben Foster steals the show (as Ben Foster always does) as a fellow ex-soldier who gets James into the contract business. Kiefer Sutherland, Gillian Jacobs, JD Pardo, and Eddie Marsan flesh out cookie-cutter supporting roles that could have been handed to lesser names and been none the worse for it. The story twists and turns rather nicely, if somewhat predictably, but seems to rush to its end. Cutting 15 minutes from the setup and devoting it to the payout would have served the picture well, but ultimately it maintains tension and ties up its story nicely enough that we'll call it a win.

The Contractor clocks in at 103 minutes and is rated R for "violence and language."

The Contractor is a generic but serviceable way to pass a late summer afternoon. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Contractor gets four and a half.

The Contractor is now playing/streaming on the Showtime family of networks, and is available to rent or buy from all the usual outlets.

Next on my Saturday schedule was the Gray Man.

After discovering some of the agency hierarchy's dirty secrets, a CIA dark operative finds himself on the run from a psychotic former colleague.

The Gray Man is another by-the-numbers thriller salvaged by a reasonably talented, good-looking, and likeable cast. Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans face off in the leads, with Evans' performance reminding me of nothing more than Jason Patrick's turn in my personal favorite Chris Evans movie, the Losers. The entertaining pair, along with some unique action sequences, combine for a good enough time, but the movie's attempts at humor are painful, and it overstays its welcome by a solid 30 minutes.

The Gray Man runs 122 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of strong violence, and strong language."

The Gray Man is a passable thriller elevated by a solid cast. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Gray Man gets five.

Fangirl points: Shea Whigham!

The Gray Man is now streaming on Netflix.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: BODIES BODIES BODIES

 

A party game leads to murder when young and wealthy friends gather at a remote family mansion.

Director: Halina Reijn

Cast:  Amandla Stenberg, Maria Bakalova, Myha'la Herrold, Chase Sui Wonders, Rachel Sennott, Lee Pace, Pete Davidson

Release Date: August 5, 2022

Genre: Comedy, Horror, Thriller

Rated R for violence, bloody images, drug use, sexual references and pervasive language.

Runtime: 1h 35m

Review:

Bodies Bodies Bodies is a fun pitch black whodunit that effectively captures a moment in time for millennials including all their worse tendencies much like the slasher films from the 80's and 90's. Halina Reijn's film has a chaotic energy about it which persist throughout the film's lean runtime.  The script is sharply written with dialogue that skewers millennials on multiple levels.  It's aided greatly by a strong cast who lean into their characters with impressive aplomb.  Amandla Stenberg and Maria Bakalova are the film's central duo with each delivering strong performances as the party interlopers.  Stenberg gives her character an unsteady, unreliable feel that makes you question her motivations at various points.  Bakalova delivers a believable sense of naivety as she watches the gaslighting descend into more extreme madness.  Rachel Sennot who plays Alice, an airhead people pleasing podcaster, steals practically every scene she in especially in the final act.  Lee Pace and Pete Davidson have smaller supporting roles with each making the most of their screen time.  Bodies Bodies Bodies plays like a modern version of the 80's cult slasher April Fool's Day as it shares that film's basic premise and it's fun but dark sense of satire.

B+