Cindy Prascik's Review of The Woman in the Window

 

My dear reader(s), for the first time in what seems like a very long time, I have two reviews to share this weekend. My second film of the weekend was Netflix' the Woman in the Window.

An agoraphobic woman's credibility comes into question when she claims to have witnessed a terrible crime.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Regular reader(s) will know for certain: I am not a movie snob. I'm addicted to the Expendables movies. I actually own that dreadful remake of Lost in Space. My annual top-ten list once included Gnomeo & Juliet *and* one of the Hotel Transylvania sequels (same year, don't judge). I do not believe the cinema is the only credible way to see new movies. I want Netflix, Amazon, and all the other streaming services to do well with their original films. BUT...the Woman in the Window definitely won't help Netflix be taken seriously as a purveyor of quality content.

I have not read the Woman in the Window. I understand filmmakers took some creative liberties with the book, but I can't say if that's what's to blame for this sad waste of a brilliant cast. Even putting my obsession with Gary Oldman aside, how can a movie go so wrong when it has Amy Adams? Julianne Moore? Brian Tyree Henry? Jennifer Jason Leigh? Anthony Mackie, for flip's sake?? I can't say exactly how, but it definitely does go very, very wrong indeed. Dialogue is so wooden that even this company of decorated, gifted actors might as well be reading from cards. The story itself skips around and fails to maintain any tension or mystery; the characters couldn't be more obvious if they were twirling cartoon moustaches. By the time it limps to its pitiful conclusion, you'll wish they all were murder victims, rather than potential witnesses.

The Woman in the Window runs a painful 100 minutes and is rated R for "violence and language."

The Woman in the Window is a criminal waste of an interesting concept and a superb group of actors. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Woman in the Window gets two.

The Woman in the Window is now streaming on Netflix.

Fangirl points: My Gary (of course). MACKIE! Until next time...

PS: Just saw a headline that said "The Woman in the Window has two Captain Americas," and I can state with authority that that is the most interesting thing about it.