Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Geostorm & Thor: Ragnarok

Dearest Blog: Yesterday I ended my week's vacation at Marquee Cinemas with a double-bill of Geostorm (finally) and Thor: Ragnarok. 

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or a quick check of the IMDB cast listings.

 

First on the docket: a delayed screening of Geostorm.

 

When a satellite controlling extreme weather events is sabotaged, it's up to its prickly creator to make nice and go fix it.

 

Dear reader(s): Having missed two weekends at the cinema (!!!), I'm a little late to the Geostorm party, so I won't be the first to inform you the movie features a stupidly implausible plot, inane dialogue, and second-rate performances. What I may be the first to tell you is that I haven't had as much fun at the cinema in months. Indeed, Geostorm is the only picture in recent memory to render me totally oblivious to the outside world for a couple hours.

 

There's no denying Geostorm is a pretty bad movie by almost any quality barometer; it's Sharknado-level idiocy on a big-screen budget. Meathead extraordinaire Gerard Butler is the ideal hero for such a film, delivering a performance on par with "shepherd number two" in the third-grade Christmas pageant. Jim Sturgess and Abbie Cornish are even more laughable, and you really have to wonder how Ed Harris and Andy Garcia got talked into this. (My guess is blackmail. It's the only thing that makes sense.) The story plays out in predictably silly fashion, with painfully obvious "twists" and every cartoonish character behaving exactly as you'd expect. The good news is all that isn't really bad news because Geostorm knows exactly what it is, and thus couldn't be any more enjoyable. Throw in some solid disaster effects and a timely (if cheesy) message, and you've got a hilariously terrible outing that may well be the best time I've had at the movies in 2017.

 

Geostorm clocks in at 109 minutes and is rated PG13 for "destruction, action, and violence."

Geostorm is the best bad movie I've seen in a good long while. Of a possible nine Weasleys, I am exercising great restraint in awarding Geostorm only seven.

 

Fangirl points: Ohmygosh you guys, Robert Sheehan is in this movie!!

 

Next on my agenda: Thor: Ragnarok.

 

And you thought Loki was the bad sibling.

 

My usual Marvel disclaimer: For the most part I don't think Marvel movies are anything special; rather, they're enjoyed and quickly forgotten. The notable exception is Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which stands alone in its greatness, but, as series go, the Thor movies are always my Marvel faves. Ragnarok gives me no reason to change either of those opinions: Marvel movies are still nothing special, but the Thor series remains my favorite.

 

Getting the bad news out of the way first: Thor: Ragnarok feels about twelve hours long. I wouldn't say I was bored, but...well...for some of it I wouldn't exactly say I wasn't, either. The battle scenes didn't seem as repetitive or overlong as most Marvel movies (lookin' squarely at YOU, Avengers!), but, my god, it felt like I was sitting there forever. Luckily, that's about the only really bad thing I have to say about the film. Ragnarok isn't a funny superhero movie; it's a straight-up comedy about a superhero, fully self-aware. No shoe-horning in a Tony Stark wisecrack every 20 minutes, Ragnarok is organically hilarious. Trippy 70s effects, a bit reminiscent of Doctor Strange, are particularly well-suited to this outing, giving it the feel of an old-school arcade game. Chris Hemsworth (sadly shirtless only once) isn't just a perfectly-sculpted hero, he's legitimately funny, with great comic timing and terrific expressions. The supporting cast is filled with names that, on their own, are enough to draw me to any picture: Idris Elba, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Karl Urban, Cate Blanchett...and--OH!--this is Cate as you haven't seen her before! Hiddleston's Loki remains the best thing about any Thor movie, but it's Cate's Hela who steals the show here, and whose pics you'll be Googling for your new phone wallpaper as soon as the credits roll (or was that just me?). Triple bonus points for carrying Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song from the trailer into the film itself--not just once, but twice!--a musical move so inspired as to be almost Edgar-Wrightish in its perfection.

Thor: Ragnarok runs 130 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action and brief suggestive material."

 

Thor: Ragnarok is another fun outing in Marvel's best series. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Thor: Ragnarok gets eight.

 

Fangirl points: Hey, Bruce Banner, you're lookin' mighty fine in that Duran Duran shirt!

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: SUBURBICON

Suburbicon is a peaceful, idyllic, suburban community with affordable homes and manicured lawns -- the perfect place to raise a family, and in the summer of 1959, the Lodge family is doing just that. But the tranquil surface masks a disturbing reality, as husband and father Gardner Lodge must navigate the town's dark underbelly of betrayal, deceit and violence.

Director: George Clooney

Release Date: Oct 27, 2017

Cast: Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, Oscar Isaac, Glenn Fleshler, Michael Cohen

Rated R for violence, language and some sexuality

Runtime: 1 hr. 44 min.

Genres: Crime, Drama, Mystery

Review:

Suburbicon is an odd hodgepodge of a film from director George Clooney.  It’s a film that has multiple things going on but they never mesh into a coherent story thread.  The film’s script was a reworked from the Coen’s brother’s original draft and the film does seem to be at war with itself for the better part of its runtime.  On one hand you have the Matt Damon lead murder mystery which feels very much like a Coen’s creation with its high body count and black comedy seeping from its veins.  On the other hand there’s a thoroughly uncooked subplot about a black family dealing with increasingly hostile neighbors.  The entire subplot feels incredibly underdeveloped even though I think it’s a well intentioned effort to give the film some added weight and depth.  The issue is that the characters on display are never developed with barely a few lines of dialogue thrown their way.  Both these plots don’t really mesh well as the tone changes abruptly in a moments notice.  Oscar Issac is the most interesting thing in the whole film but sadly he comes and goes way too soon.  Suburbicon feels like it should be a much better film than it actually is.  Sadly, it just never jells into an enjoyable whole. 

C+

April Sokol's Reviews of Only the Brave & Geostorm

***Note from Daniel – “Here’s a quick introduction to our newest reviewer joining Cindy Prascik and yours truly”***

Hello fellow movie lovers. My name is April. I am a wife and mother of 3 boys. I have loved everything about the movie going experience ever since my parents took me to see ET. I find that I'm pretty easily entertained so my reviews will always reflect that.

My favorite movie ever made is 1995's Heat. I am highly opinionated on all things, but especially when it comes to movies. I'm thankful for a place to share my thoughts with others. I hope you enjoy the ramblings of my over caffeinated, sleep deprived mind.

Only the Brave is the true story of the Granite Mountain Hot Shots. The first municipal hot shot team ever assembled.

Directed by Joseph Kosinski

Starring Josh Brolin, Miles Davis, Jennifer Connelly and Jeff Bridges

My review:

Only the Brave is a straightforward, unflinching look at some of the bravest among us: firefighters. But these aren't your average community volunteer firemen. This is the Navy Seals of fire fighting. These men are dropped into the biggest, nastiest fires with only an axe and shovel.

There is quite a lot to love about this movie. I feel compelled to mention that I am not a fan of Brolin or Connelly and have at the very most a love/hate relationship with the work of Teller. So I was incredibly surprised by how deeply I fell in love with this story.

The first act sets the stage. Teller's Brendan McDonough is a young out of control guy freshly out of jail. He's got a million reasons to finally get his act together if only someone will give him a chance. McDonough is given that chance by the grizzled, wise Eric Marsh (Brolin). There is plenty of heart and humor to be found in his new community. Now we're off to the races. The entire second act of the movie is one beautiful shot after another. The cast does an amazing job of portraying men and women who come together as family in the harshest of situations. Nothing is prettied up. The strain put on the spouses, the distance with their children. It's all there to draw you into this world that so very few people actually live and experience.

You can feel that this will end with a big fire. So when it finally comes it's not a surprise. But still hugely effective. For those of us who were not familiar with this true story, it was a nail biting bit of cinema.

Overall I am more than willing and able to overlook the small issues I had with the tropes that were included in the script. Only the Brave has a run time of 143 minutes and it rated PG 13 for thematic content and brief sexual references. I enjoyed almost every minute. 

A very solid 4 out of 5 stars is my rating. Only the Brave is the best thing currently playing at my local cinemaplex by leaps and bounds.

Geostorm is this year's natural disaster spectacle of a movie. The system put into place to protect Earth from natural disasters has malfunctioned and it's a race to fix the problem before all of Earth is destroyed.

Directed by Dean Devlin

Starring Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess and Abbie Cornish

Before I begin I feel like I should make a confession. Armageddon is one of my all time favorite movies. Yes. I said it. I love the cheesy dialogue and completely unrealistic plot because it's FUN. Geostorm brought Armageddon to mind more than once during my viewing.

The plot is straightforward. Gerard Butler plays Jake Lawson, the hot head developer of the Dutch Boy Program. A system of satellites that are designed to neutralize any and all natural disasters before they happen. It's not a stretch to see Lawson struggling to maintain his vision's integrity when faced with politicians who want to control Dutch Boy. None of this is groundbreaking cinema. The hero has a bad attitude. The government is shady and shifty. There are plenty of estranged relationships. Lots of familiar movie cliches are thrown at the viewer in quick succession.

But if you can suspend reality for the 1hr49min run time there is some good stuff in here. The special effects, both on Earth and on board the Dutch Boy itself are fun. There are huge typhoons, massive sandstorms, eruptions, tornadoes...all of the good stuff! The big reveal of the bad guy is not exactly shocking. The dialogue is silly. The science is nonsensical. But despite all of that, I found myself smiling through the whole thing. Special points given for Cornish's portrayal of a Secret Service agent who is pretty badass.

Geostorm is rated PG 13 for destruction, action and violence. My viewing had plenty of smaller children who all seemed to be having just as much fun as I was. There is absolutely nothing award worthy to be found here. But if you're looking for a few hours of popcorn eating entertainment, this is what you're looking for. I give Geostorm a rating of 2 ½ out of 5 stars.

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of The Foreigner & Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a double-bill of The Foreigner and Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on the docket: Jackie Chan seeks revenge in The Foreigner.

A grieving father goes after the individuals responsible for a terrorist bombing that claimed the life of his young daughter.

The Foreigner is one of those movies that feels like it should be much more entertaining than it is. A solid if oft-told story, the picture boasts a well-loved lead and a suspenseful plot, with fierce action sequences that will set you on the edge of your seat. Sadly, all of the above is weighed down by a plodding tempo that makes the movie seem much longer than it is. Jackie Chan is solid in the lead, but the film gives you at least its first half to ponder how this humble restaurant owner got such...erm...Jackie Chan-like skills, with no real payout for your wait; the answer is exactly what you'll know it was going to be if you've ever watched an action/revenge movie before. When everything hits the fan, Pierce Brosnan is perfect as the blustering minister who WON'T HAVE IT!!...but where was he going with that accent? The convoluted plot would feel almost comical at times if not for Chan wearing his very best Emmett Kelly face for the duration; in fact, I think I really might have hated this one but for how much sympathy he earned for his character.

The Foreigner runs 114 minutes and is rated R for "violence, language, and some sexual material."

The Foreigner earns a half-Weasley bonus for (briefly) featuring Harry Potter's Cho Chang, Katie Leung, but gets a full demerit for getting Hot Blooded into my head.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Foreigner gets four and a half.

Next up: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

The relationships among a psychologist, his wife, and a student give birth to our most beloved female superhero.

Well, dear reader(s), it feels like quite the privilege to be a girl writing in a time when I get to ask which is the better of this year's two Wonder Woman films. I mean, the answer is unequivocally "the other one," but still...

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women has all the pieces of a great story, so--especially riding 2017's wave of Wonder Woman mania--it should have been a can't-miss. Unfortunately, it goes foul by sensationalizing the sexual aspects of the story, resulting in an uncomfortable and unsatisfying finished product.

Wonder Women's chief positives are in its leads; Luke Evans and especially Rebecca Hall are terrific. Bella Heathcote is a bit of a weak link, and prominent enough that you'll feel it at every turn, but two out of three isn't so bad, I guess. The film has some genuinely touching moments as well as some funny ones, and it's told in such a way that it keeps moving even when there's not a lot to tell.

Ultimately, though, WW is just too lurid in its presentation to be taken seriously. When a roomful of adults is overcome by the giggles at every erotic turn, that's a sure-fire sign that, as the Internet is so fond of saying: "You're doing it wrong." Wonder Women sincerely attempts to sell its titular family as "normal," but does so with so little finesse that it only comes across as tawdry, even to someone (like myself) who wouldn't normally bat an eye. Amusingly, the movie even takes a stab at explaining Wonder Woman's skimpy costume, but--just a year removed from Batman v. Superman (where you can bet it wasn't Batman or Superman who featured in a gratuitous crotch shot)--it rings pretty hollow.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women clocks in at 108 minutes and is rated R for "strong sexual content, including brief graphic images, and language."

Sadly, Professor Marston and the Wonder Women is a coulda-shoulda-mighta been great picture that falls well short of even memorable.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Professor Marston and the Wonder Women gets four.

Fangirl points: It's always a delight to hear Benny Goodman's Sing Sing Sing in glorious surround-sound!

Until next time...