Cindy’s Top Ten Movies of 2019!

Ahhh...2019. In the interest of building suspense, I could be all cagey about this countdown, but let's face it: For me, 2019 was the Year of Rocketman. As lousy as the real-world year was, it was salvaged by Rocketman. Someone suggested in jest (maybe?) that Rocketman should be numbers one through ten on my year-end list, and that would be fair enough; HOWEVER...I did like some other movies this year, so I'm gonna give you--yes YOU, dear reader(s)--ten of my favorites. Just know in your hearts that the other nine fall way behind number one. Way, WAY behind.

The usual disclaimers:

A movie's position on my year-end list does not necessarily reflect its original Weasley score. Some films age well, bear up, and even improve under repeat viewings. Some...well...some do not. Also, I live in a rinky-dink town, so great movies like JoJo Rabbit and 1917--pictures that almost certainly would have found spots here or gotten very close--have not made themselves available to me yet. This is disappointing, but unsurprising. I'd hung my entire holiday break on the prospect of seeing 1917, only to discover on Christmas Day that its Christmas opening was limited release, and I have to wait until January 10th. Humbug. Finally, I think three or four of these movies already made Variety's "worst of" list for 2019, so kindly do not be too shocked when I diverge from The Serious Critics (TM).

Without further ado, presenting my top ten films of 2019:

TEN

"The most important qualification for any leader is not wanting to be leader."

THE TWO POPES

2019 threw me a nice surprise on its way out the celestial door, with the Netflix original The Two Popes. It's a deliberate, thoughtful, and timely film carried by a pair of the year's most exquisite performances: Jonathan Pryce as Pope Francis and Anthony Hopkins as Pope Benedict XVI. While the subject matter is weighty, this movie is an absolute delight.

NINE

"I'm glad I'm a revelation and not a disappointment."

DOWNTON ABBEY

This big-screen adaptation of the popular television series Downton Abbey, is, in fact, something of a revelation. A totally new story in the familiar and much-loved setting, with just the right amount of fan service, it is a joyful exercise that hits nearly every note perfectly. Making its case for the big screen are breathtaking costumes and production design...and Mr. Barrow finally seeing a bit of happiness doesn't hurt, either.

EIGHT

"We're gonna bury Ferrari at Le Mans."

FORD V FERRARI

At a glance, Ford v Ferrari might seem like a film appealing exclusively to car enthusiasts; however, that assumption does a great disservice to both the film and the viewer. Ford v Ferrari is an inspiring story about people. It's a nail-biter from start to finish, it has heart to spare, and it's fronted by great turns from Matt Damon and Christian Bale. Beautifully filmed race action makes this one to see on the biggest screen you can find.

SEVEN

"It always fits...eventually."

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

Technically, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is a last-year movie, but for me it's a this-year movie, and--despite its being the very first film I saw way back in January, 2019--it's far too great to leave off my best-of list. A Marvel property in the hands of Sony, Spider-Verse is smart, funny, touching, and better than the entire Avengers catalog combined.

SIX

"This is a twisted web, and we are not finished untangling it, not yet."

KNIVES OUT

Knives Out is a great piece of original cinema crafted from artful twists, clever humor, and terrific performances, layered with a gorgeous Gothic setting and an ominous score. Written and directed by Rian Johnson, this perfect murder mystery is a huge creative and financial win for the cinema, and I recommend it without hesitation or qualification.

FIVE

"This is the worst...and best...and most terrible...excellent thing that's ever happened to me!"

THE KID WHO WOULD BE KING

Hands up if you missed the Kid Who Would Be King at your local cinema? Yeah, I see you, ALL of you. The good news is that one of the year's most wonderful pictures is now available for streaming and download, and you shouldn't make the same mistake twice. The Kid Who Would Be King is a charming movie, great fun for people of all ages. Truly one of the year's best.

FOUR

"Si vis pacem, para bellum."

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 — PARABELLUM

The John Wick franchise has become quite the phenomenon, and deservedly so. Continually upping the action ante in Fast-and-Furious-like fashion, these movies are so much more than just your garden-variety shoot 'em ups and beat 'em ups. John Wick is the role Keanu Reeves was born to play, and Parabellum raises the stakes for Wick while doubling down on masterful fight choreography and stunning cinematography. Here's to many more adventures for John Wick!

THREE

"Bruce is the direct line to all that's true in this world!"

BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

Blinded by the Light is another terrific picture that didn't exactly set the box office on fire. Inspired by the true story of one Springsteen superfan, and built on the Boss's epic catalog, it's a hopeful tale about overcoming prejudice and the limitations set for us by ourselves and by others, one of the year's most inspiring movies.

TWO

"Tell the truth to everyone, whenever you can."

YESTERDAY

Yesterday is yet another of 2019's under-appreciated gems, a beautiful, unique movie fashioned around the timeless music of the Beatles. Himesh Patel is a delight in the lead, and--while the premise requires suspension of disbelief--Yesterday is a charming picture that captivates with its "what ifs?" as well as its iconic soundtrack and enchanting cast.

ONE

"You were never ordinary."

ROCKETMAN

My number one movie of the year, and of the decade, was set on May 31st, when I saw Rocketman for the first time. I saw the movie at least twice a week as long as it was at my local cinema. I've watched at least part of it every day since it became available for home viewing. Outside of a week or so around each of the wonderful concerts I saw this summer, I've listened to nothing but the Rocketman soundtrack since the end of May. My phone and all my desktops have Rocketman wallpapers. I've joked (hmm?) that I only speak Rocketman now. The truth is, I'm not interested in speaking anything else. Pre-Rocketman, it had been a decade since a new movie made its way into my all-time top ten. Then there was Rocketman. Pre-Rocketman, my favorite acting performance hadn't changed since 1993. Then there was Taron Egerton's astonishing turn as Elton John. Pre-Rocketman, I was finding reasons to stay away from the movies. Then there was Dexter Fletcher showing us the beauty of real imagination. Rocketman is more than just a well-crafted film that reflects on an iconic artist's inspiring life. It is a film that uses Elton John's art to tell his story in fantastic, creative fashion. It is a film that uses exquisite detail in its styling and costumes to further its vision. It is a film that draws something sparkling and new out of a classic discography. It is a film that is not bound by dull, linear timelines or small minds. It is a film that surrounds a performance for the ages with others that bear it up. It is a film that shows, however dark the times, you will find the light. In doing all these things, it is a film that is saving lives. Rocketman is a film that is, in every way, magnificent. Thank you, Dexter Fletcher and company, for giving us this beautiful movie. Whatever the critics say and whoever wins the prizes as Awards Season bears down upon us, nobody has done anything more valuable this cinema year.

A few Honorable (and Dis-Honorable) Mentions:

While Taron Egerton deserves all the awards, all the time, for his work in Rocketman, there were some other performances this year that also gave me life:

Jamie Bell (Rocketman): Without Bell's Bernie Taupin as his stalwart cornerstone, Egerton's Elton could not have flown. It's a lovely, understated performance that has been grossly underappreciated.

Tom Holland (Marvel Cinematic Universe): Holland is a real gem, a standout who consistently steals the show from bigger names who get weightier work in the MCU. No matter how good, bad, or painfully bloated the movie, Holland is an absolute delight.

Renee Zellweger (Judy): Who knew it was even possible for me to stop hating Renee Zellweger? Well played, 2019.

Rebecca Ferguson (The Kid Who Would Be King/Doctor Sleep): There was little I enjoyed more this year than watching Ferguson chew her way through this pair of pictures. Oh, and if I start walking around wearing a hat, don't ask, m-kay?

Chris Evans (Knives Out): God, I love seeing Chris Evans do *anything* besides Captain America. Bonus points if he gets to be funny. He's really funny, despite his obscenely gorgeous mug.

John Boyega/Oscar Isaac (Star Wars: Episode IX — The Rise of Skywalker): These two, individually and together, draw joy out of what's otherwise a fairly mundane exercise. If Finn and Poe somehow jumped to another saga in the Star Wars universe, I wouldn't complain.

The Cast of Jumanji: The Next Level: Top to bottom, a perfectly cast film, and a lesson in how the right actors can elevate any property.

As a matter of interest, if you watch the Irishman and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood back to back, you can effectively calculate how many hours you'll wish you had back when you're on your deathbed.

I would like a word with Gary Oldman's and Sebastian Stan's agents, please.

Cats: Make. It. Stop. Please, just...make it stop.

As this most challenging year winds to a close, I wanted to offer a sincere thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my reviews, and especially those who engage on any of our various platforms. Special thanks to Daniel for allowing me to be a part of his great page, and for tolerating my unceasing randomness. (Hotel Transylvania 4 in 2021, my friend!) I take no one's support for granted, and I’m ever grateful for you all. I wish our readers many blessings as this festive season comes to a close and we roll into 2020. See you at the movies!

MOVIE REVIEW: JOJO RABBIT

Jojo is a lonely German boy who discovers that his single mother is hiding a Jewish girl in their attic. Aided only by his imaginary friend -- Adolf Hitler -- Jojo must confront his blind nationalism as World War II continues to rage on.

Director: Taika Waititi

Cast: Roman Griffin Davis,Scarlett Johansson, Thomasin McKenzie, Rebel Wilson, Stephen Merchant, Alfie Allen, Sam Rockwell, Taika Waititi

Release Date: October 18, 2019

Genres: Comedy, Drama, War

Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content, some disturbing images, violence, and language

Runtime: 1h 48min

Review:

Jojo Rabbit’s concept may sound odd on paper but some how Taika Waititi makes the whole thing work.  Waititi’s irreverent type of humor is perfectly suited for this satire delivering a fun, touching and moving film.  Roman Griffin Davis stars as the titual Jojo and he does an admirable job of carrying the film.  He’s likable and never feels forced which is rare for a child actor.  Thomasin McKenzie is equally impressive in her role even if she’s a bit more understated than Davis.  Scarlett Johansson’s role is limited but she makes the most of her scenes giving the film a good deal of its heart.  Taika Waititi’s Hitler is fun particularly when he breaks into full bore Hitlering.  Sam Rockwell and Alfie Allen are good fun in supporting roles.  The cast as a whole makes this dark subject matter end up being a feel good film with a timely message given our current state of political tribalism.  It’s not a perfect film with the final act lingering on a bit too long but otherwise it’s surprisingly thoughtful film with some real heart. 

A

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Dolemite is My Name &The Two Popes

Yesterday I closed out my movie year with two Netflix originals: Dolemite is My Name and the Two Popes.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up: Dolemite is My Name.

Rudy Ray Moore, a struggling comedian, finds success with a coarse alter-ego.

Dolemite is My Name represents a comeback of sorts for Eddie Murphy, and he carries the movie with ease. I'm a big fan of Eddie Murphy, and that makes me very, very happy. (He can't have that Golden Globe, though. It's Taron's.) As for the film itself, well, that didn't make me quite so happy. Moore is a hard guy to root for. Much like The Room's Tommy Wiseau, he's a person who is determined to succeed at something he isn't very good at, and--through sheer audacity and a bit of enabling--he actually makes it. Personally, I find the Dolemite persona about as funny as a root canal. Maybe my problem is cultural or even generational (I also don't think George Carlin is very funny), but it's exacerbated by the fact that Moore essentially stole the Dolemite schtck from others in his personal orbit, people who never gained (at least as far as the movie shows) from his eventual success. Dolemite's supporting cast is nearly as great as Murphy, with Tituss Burgess, Keegan-Michael Key, and another of my personal favorites, Craig Robinson, all turning in nice performances. Wesley Snipes and Snoop Dogg are also enjoyable in smaller roles. Dolemite is My Name is actually quite funny in places (outside the Dolemite routines), though it's also a little slow or a little long or maybe a little of both; it just doesn't *quite* earn its runtime. It is also relentlessly (but expectedly) vulgar, so if boobs and f-bombs bother you, maybe take a pass on this one.

Dolemite is My Name runs 117 minutes and is rated R for "pervasive language, crude sexual content, and graphic nudity."

Dolemite is My Name is a win for Eddie Murphy and a big loss for everything else. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Dolemite is My Name gets four.

Next on my agenda: The Two Popes.

Popes Benedict and Francis try to find common ground for the good of the Catholic Church.

Well, dear reader(s), if Dolemite is My Name is a film I didn't quite get, you may rest assured that, having spent the past 33 years working for His Holiness, this one's definitely in my wheelhouse.

Most everyone knows that the Catholic Church is facing challenging times, and that its problems are largely of its own making. This behind-the-scenes look at two very different men, both of whom want only the best for the institution (and the deity) they serve, is a thoughtful exercise. Jonathan Pryce and Anthony Hopkins turn in two of the year's finest performances as Pope Francis and Pope Benedict XVI, respectively. Their magnificent work is infused with quiet power, carrying the deliberately-paced film effortlessly. While the Two Popes is undoubtedly more "inspired by" than "based on" actual events, its insights and political machinations are fascinating, as well as its sometimes shockingly frank mentions of the clergy sexual abuse scandal. The movie also offers some timely messages, both overtly and less so, with the importance of forgiveness and of finding common ground winding their way throughout. Though I am not a believer myself, I found the Two Popes an uplifting and hopeful film for the faithful...and maybe for the rest of us too.

The Two Popes clocks in at 125 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic content and some disturbing, violent images."

The Two Popes is one of the year's best surprises, a terrific film carried by two extraordinary performances.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Two Popes gets eight.

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker & Jumanji: The Next Level

Yesterday I trekked to the cinema to shake off the after-Christmas blues with Star Wars: Episode IX and Jumanji: The Next Level.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on my Boxing Day agenda: Star Wars: Episode IX — The Rise of Skywalker.

The final chapter of the Skywalker saga sees the Resistance facing off with a mysteriously-resurrected Emperor Palpatine.

Star Wars is one of those franchises that has such a devout and legendarily bitchy fanbase that there's nothing any review can really say that will be taken at face value. If you love it, you're too devoted to see its flaws; if you hate it, you're just a bitter fanboy. For whatever it's worth, I'm here to say that Rise of Skywalker is probably a lousy movie, but I mostly loved it anyway.

Episode IX definitely occupies more minutes than it earns, with some bloated battle/chase scenes that could and should have been trimmed significantly. The bulk of the movie is simple fan service, giving that devout fan base what the filmmakers thought it would want to see in the finale for at least this most-beloved branch of the Star Wars universe. Artistically, that never does a project any favors, but as a casual SW fan who has been in love with Luke Skywalker since I was ten, I very much enjoyed it. Highlights continue to be John Boyega and Oscar Isaac as Finn and Poe, while neither Daisy Ridley nor Adam Driver does much for me. (Yes, I know the whole wide galaxy thinks Driver's the best thing since sliced bread. I don't.) Some effects are terrific, while others are inexplicably dodgy. A good deal of it looks like a weird production of Jesus Christ Superstar. Pretty much every plot device and line of dialogue is more hokey than the one that came before it. I mean, you can only wring so many tears out of previously-unused Carrie Fisher footage, am I right? A real positive here is the organically diverse cast, no big deal, just characters of all races and species living and working together like it's as common as it should be. If some of Episode IX truly represents the best that Star Wars has to offer, it's re-hashed enough by this point to have lost much of its impact.
Star Wars: Episode IX — The Rise of Skywalker clocks in at a mammoth 142 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sci-fi violence and action."

The Rise of Skywalker is an imperfect but enjoyable finale to a very-much-loved saga.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Star Wars: Episode IX — The Rise of Skywalker gets seven, including one bonus Weasley for having an actual Weasley, Domhnall Gleeson, in the cast.

Next on yesterday's docket: Jumanji: The Next Level.

The gang is drawn back into the world's most dangerous game for another adventure.

Jumanji is an unlikely success story, a project that had every reason to be painfully bad, but somehow ended up surprisingly good. First and foremost, that is down to an absolute home-run with the casting, not just the notably terrific adult leads--Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, and Karen Gillan--but also their younger/real world selves: Alex Wolff, Ser'Darius Blain, Ashley Scott, and Morgan Turner. As with the first Jumanji, the kids are so good it's almost a disappointment when they morph into their more famous video-game selves. Almost. Johnson, Hart, Black, and Gillan are so great I kinda want them and only them to be in all the movies all the time now, please and thank you. Throw in bonus Danny DeVito and Danny Glover, and you've got yourself one top-notch cast. The Next Level is as laugh-out-loud hilarious as its predecessor, in both broad and more clever ways, with a fresh story that never feels like a sequel for the sake of it. The action-packed plot moves along quickly and doesn't overstay its welcome, wrapped up with a nice Christmas setting, making it the perfect holiday family fare. For whatever it's worth, this movie got the best crowd reaction of any movie I saw this year, and that's a month into its release.

Jumanji: The Next Level runs 123 minutes and is rated PG13 for "adventure action, suggestive content, and some language."

Jumanji: The Next Level is that rarest of sequels that may even best its predecessor.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Jumanji: The Next Level gets eight.

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Dark Waters & Cats

The weekend before Christmas provided an opportunity to catch up with my sorely neglected cinema. First priorities: Dark Waters and Cats.

Spoiler level for Dark Waters will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or the news. I don't think there are proper spoilers for a film like Cats--it's not exactly rife with plot twists--but I'm going to talk about it in excruciating detail. If you really don't want to know anything before you see it, or if you really don't want to read 1500 words on one of the year's worst movies, please proceed accordingly.

First on my weekend docket: Dark Waters, a based-on-actual-events tale of the attorney who took on chemical giant DuPont over poisoned water in Parkersburg, West Virginia.

Dark Waters is a compelling story told in pedestrian fashion, a disappointment considering the names involved. It's weirdly edited in places, with some shots lingering overlong while others cut off so abruptly it seems like somebody forgot to come back and finish it. The movie wears its agenda on its sleeve, with broadly-drawn good guys and bad guys, chugging along at a deliberate pace that makes it seem longer than it is. Some good tension builds towards the end, as the case comes to a head, but it's pretty late in the game. The big-name cast includes Mark Ruffalo in a fine but unremarkable turn as Robert Bilott, David to DuPont's Goliath. Anne Hathaway and Tim Robbins are up and down as Bilott's wife and boss/mentor, respectively. Bill Pullman turns in the only performance I really enjoyed, and his screen time is, sadly, rather limited. West Virginia doesn't necessarily get the worst cinematic treatment it's ever had, though certainly Dark Waters doesn't have an opportunity to show our state at its best, even if it effectively portrays the resilience of our people. (Some would say "bull-headedness," but we'll stick with "resilience" here.) Dark Waters is a movie worth seeing, but maybe more worth seeing on Netflix or as a rental, rather than with the full cinema pricetag.

Dark Waters runs 126 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic content, some disturbing images, and strong language."

Dark Waters is a serviceable telling of a great story, one that's all the sadder as West Virginia continues to sell itself to the highest bidder with little regard for its own well-being. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Dark Waters gets seven.

Next up: the big-screen adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's much loved musical, Cats. Buckle up, kids. We're gonna TALK about this one.

On the night of the Jellicle Ball, the Jellicle Leader chooses one Jellicle cat to elevate to a new Jellicle life.

Think that synopsis makes no sense? You aren't alone. Many would say (and have said) Cats makes no sense, there's no story. The plot is a thin one, more a series of vignettes, with each cat making his or her case to win the Jellicle Leader's favor.

Now, the disclaimer: I love Cats. It's one of my top three musicals of all time, and my favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber property. When I see the current national tour of Cats in February, it will mark my 30th visit to the junkyard. Certainly some productions are better than others (the 1993 national tour that featured now-Tony-winning choreographer Christopher Gattelli as Mr. Mistoffelees and Mad Men's Bryan Batt as Munkustrap is a favorite), but I've yet to crawl away disappointed...until this movie. Herein we shall discuss where the film goes wrong, and those few things it actually gets right.

We'll start with some of the big misses: Despite its best-known number being a proper belter, Cats is a dance-oriented show, yet this film has eliminated the most impressive dance sequences: Mr. Mistoffelees' solo, Jennyanydots' tap number (represented, but not properly), and the Invitation to the Jellicle Ball. Each of those pieces is included, but the best dance bits have been cut or bastardized by an over-abundance of CGI. (Anybody else weirded out by those perpetually-erect tails??) The stage production has always gone to great lengths to get makeup, costumes, and feline movement spot-on, but here not a care was taken...in fact, these things are so bad as to appear willfully wrong. Most costumes stop at the ankles, leaving obviously human bare feet on display, though some Jellicles (in their sensible, everyday forms) wear high-top sneakers, boots, overalls, and even a top hat. Human garb in the stage production is a storytelling tool, and generally is crafted to fit with the cat's pattern, such as Misto's vest and bowtie and Grizabella's dress and coat. The film's makeup leaves its very famous faces very recognizable and looking like A-list actors in dollar-store Halloween costumes. It's distracting. Finally, for a barely-there plot that requires no explanation, this movie does an awkward amount of explaining.

By the numbers, Act I:

This movie *almost* gets the Overture right, as there's only a brief frame before its first notes twinkle through the darkened theater. No choreographed Christmas lights, though. Shame. Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats fares better than most numbers, though it suffers some unfortunate edits, ditto the Naming of Cats, where they left in the line about cats having three different names, then edited out the stanza about the second name. Hope no one's counting! Robbie Fairchild does a fine job with my second-favorite Jellicle, Munkustrap. Munkustrap is the busiest cat in the junkyard, serving as a sort-of narrator and appearing in nearly every number, so it's important that he's good. This one is good. Rebel Wilson's crass performance as Jennyanydots, the Old Gumbie Cat, renders one of the show's cutest numbers a vulgar exercise. Jason Derulo lacks the chutzpah that makes Rum Tum Tugger so much fun when he's done right, but he's a good singer and has some presence. James Corden as Bustopher Jones is one of the movie's better-cast roles, though the number's adapted rather stupidly. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer are deprived of their perk, and neither Danny Collins nor Naoimh Morgan brings any real charm to these audacious felines. Also...there's no tumbling, dammit! Dame Judy Dench is okay as Old Deuteronomy, though I miss the traditionally-male Jellicle Leader's big, booming voice. The new number written by Sir Andrew with Taylor Swift specifically for this film is a dud. It's performed by our Victoria, Francesca Hayward, also something of a dud. Victoria is a featured dancer in the show, so it's baffling that filmmakers chose an accomplished ballerina for the role, then assigned her a bunch of singing and smothered her beautiful dancing in CGI. The Jellicle Ball is a bizarre Furry orgy that again buries its choreography in badly-done effects. Ye gods.

Onward to Act II:

Ian McKellen is of Cats' biggest victories as Gus, the Theater Cat. He doesn't have as much to do as you'd like Sir Ian McKellen to do if you were lucky enough to get him for your movie, but he's quite a good fit. Steven McRae is a pretty solid Skimbleshanks, too, though the number itself is disappointing compared to its live cousin. (Skimble is my third-favorite Jellicle; it's important to get Skimble right.) Macavity...uh...where do I even start? Idris Elba, inarguably (for my money) the sexiest man alive, is utterly ridiculous in a role that is, by default, nefariously sexy. First, he does too much talking. There is no talking in Cats. There is only singing and dancing. Secondly, you can see too much Idris Elba (aren't those weird words to put together?) to think he's anything but Idris Elba in a goofy fur suit. That's down to makeup AGAIN. Finally, his Bombalurina is Taylor Swift, an admirable artist for many reasons, but entirely miscast as this very sexy, very mature Jellicle. Macavity is one of the show's best numbers, and one of the film's worst. How very disappointing. Next up is my favorite Jellicle, Mr. Mistoffelees. (It is MOST important to get Mr. Mistoffelees right.) Laurie Davidson is, in fact, quite a good Mr. Mistoffelees. I mean, he's no Jacob Brent, but he's definitely the best part of the movie, despite the filmmakers cutting his big solo. Following Misto's abbreviated number, our Grizabella turns up for the showstopper, Memory, or, as Jennifer Hudson sings it, "Mamwee." Jennifer Hudson has a great voice--that is an indisputable fact--but it's outweighed by her perpetually-running nose, vacant stare, and sloppy diction. This Grizabella ascends to the Heaviside Layer not in an old tire, but rather in a chandelier (perhaps a nod to ALW's other dumpster-fire film adaptation, the Phantom of the Opera?).  The finale, the Ad-Dressing of Cats, feels like an anti-climax minus an Old Deuteronomy with a commanding baritone, but the fact that it's not a complete disaster feels like a win.

A few missing pieces: Growltiger makes a surprise appearance, but his featured number is predictably absent from the film, as it has been from most of the recent Cats productions I've seen (I assume due to its racial insensitivity). There are no Pekes or Pollicles, also frequently axed from the stage production. As mentioned, while the film visits a junkyard, the junkyard isn't its primary home, an artistic choice that won't have much bearing on your enjoyment of the movie unless you really love that junkyard. (I do.) At least they got the "Vivat!" right, I guess.

Here's something I learned about Cats when it was revived on Broadway a couple years back: While shows like Hedwig and Hair really seem to find their audiences in revival--remaining relevant even while painted by the times in which they're set--Cats is not so fortunate. Debuting in London in 1981 and on Broadway in 1982, the nearly-plotless two hours of dancing felines seemed a good fit for the Ferris Bueller and Duran Duran set, even a game-changer for the time. In 2017, alongside Hamilton, Indecent, and even Come From Away, Cats just seemed irrelevant. I still shelled out for a front-row seat on my annual trip to the Big Apple, and I still loved it, but it was definitely a show out of its time. Had this movie been a straightforward adaptation of the stage production (I'd hoped for some improvement on the direct-to-DVD 1998 attempt), it still would be too late for this show to set the world on fire, but a quality big-screen version would have found its audience among the show's fans, of which there still are many. Instead, it's been turned into a punchline, a bad-movie benchmark for the foreseeable future, and here's the thing about that: In "serious" theater circles, Cats is already a punchline. Low-brow theater, tourist fare. It's also a very specific, unique thing that can't be made into something it's not. You can love or hate it for what it is, but you can't effectively change what it is. In attempting to do just that, Tom Hooper and company have made Cats a punchline for what it *isn't,* and that just breaks my heart. If In the Heights weren't already in the can and looking so promising, I'd worry Cats was bad enough to scare Hollywood off the movie musical for some time.

Cats clocks in at 110 minutes and is rated PG for "some rude and suggestive humor."

The 2019 film version of Cats is a travesty, crafted by people who either failed to understand this terrific show on a fundamental level or simply didn't care. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Cats gets three (one for each of my favorite Jellicles).

The current national tour of Cats is in Toronto through January 5th, moving to Boston and Baltimore immediately following. For my locals, the show rolls into Pittsburgh's beautiful Benedum Center from February 25th through March 1st. For a full list of dates and tickets, please check out the link below. Please do not let this abomination of a film deter you from seeing this legendary show in person.

https://ustour.catsthemusical.com/tickets/

Now...who's up for a Starlight Express revival??

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: DOLEMITE IS MY NAME

Performer Rudy Ray Moore develops an outrageous character named Dolemite, who becomes an underground sensation and star of a kung-fu, anti-establisment film that could make or break Moore.

Director: Craig Brewer

Cast: Eddie Murphy, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, Keegan-Michael Key, Mike Epps, Craig Robinson, Tituss Burgess, Wesley Snipes

Release Date: October 25, 2019 

Genre  Biography, Comedy, Drama

Rating: R for some sexuality, full nudity and brief language

Runtime: 1 h 58 min

Review:
Craig Brewer’s Dolemite Is My Name is a fun film that could have been easily forgettable if it weren’t for his central star.  Sure, the true story of Rudy Ray Moore is a fascinating anecdote from Hollywood’s past but without Eddie Murphy’s un-containable energy and charisma it wouldn’t be nearly as watchable.  Murphy’s performance is like a throwback to his classic performances not like his slew of rinse and repeat family comedies he churned out for the better part of late 90's and 2000’s.  The film reminds you why Murphy was such a singular star in those classic films like Coming to America, Trading Spaces and even Bowfinger to a certain extent.  He’s such a magnetic performer that you can’t help but enjoy this bawdy biopic.  The story itself feels familiar but Murphy keeps you interested in this underdog tale.  His supporting cast is made up a who’s who of African American actors and comedians with each making the film better than it deserves to be with Da'Vine Joy Randolph & Wesley Snipes leaving lasting impressions.  Ultimately Dolemite Is My Name is the type of film that’s better than it deserves to be because of inspired casting.


B+