Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Philomena & 300: Rise of an Empire

Dearest Blog, determined NOT to burn 130 minutes on video-game flick, yesterday I took a pass on the weekend's new releases and caught up on a couple movies I'd missed: Philomena and 300: Rise of an Empire.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know or have guessed from the trailers.

My opening act was Philomena.

A woman who was sent to a convent as a pregnant teen enlists the help of a journalist to find the son who was taken from her.

Now, dear readers, I know what you're thinking: "Isn't it kind of pointless for a nobody like you to review a film that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has already deemed one of last year's top ten best movies?" To you cynics I reply: No more pointless than any of my other reviews.

So there.

Having said that, I'll cop to being in agreement with the Academy on this one. Philomena is a beautiful movie that manages to tell a sad story without ever being miserable about it. Judi Dench is just perfect in the title role, moving effortlessly from devout and stoic to heartbreaking to hilariously clueless. Steve Coogan is also phenomenal as the jaded journalist charged with bringing Philomena's story to light. Though it's hardly a fast-paced action thriller, Philomena felt about ten minutes long, and I was well and truly sad when it was over (though I was delighted to escape the four over-perfumed women who sat in front of me and talked loudly through the whole thing).

Philomena runs 98 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some strong language, thematic elements, and sexual references."

Philomena may not have been the Academy's choice as last year's Best Picture, but I think it would have been mine. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Philomena gets eight and a half.

The second half of my Saturday double-bill was the prequel/sequel/whatever 300: Rise of an Empire.

A general hopes to unite Greece's armies against invading Persians.

Confession time: I've never bothered to watch the first 300 all the way through. I mean, since it's been running here and there on TV for nearly a decade, I've probably seen the whole thing in bits, but I've never felt compelled to sit down and watch it properly. One decent new release would have bumped the sequel off my weekend agenda as well, but I guess the people who made 300 can thank Need for Speed for my seven bucks.

Rise of an Empire gives the fetching Eva Green free reign to ham it up in the female lead. If you're a girl, I can't imagine you'd walk out in less than an ass-kicking mood. (Gentlemen, beware!) Sullivan Stapleton is about as ho-hum a leading man as I've ever seen, but the material doesn't exactly require a Robert Downey, Jr., so it's not that much of a problem. I was delighted to see Hans Matheson in a featured role; I've missed him these last couple years.

As you'd expect, Rise of an Empire is a good-looking film. The battle scenes are well choreographed and gruesome, the scenery and costumes quite striking, and I instantly fell in love with the movie's thundering soundtrack. Unfortunately, none of that was enough to hold my attention for the duration, and I found plenty of time to contemplate things like Stapleton's ugly toenails and whoever thought it was a good idea to go into battle in mini-skirts and sandals. Oh, where the mind wanders when you give it a little lead...

300: Rise of an Empire clocks in at 102 minutes and is rated R for "strong sustained sequences of stylized bloody violence throughout, a sex scene, nudity, and some language." It's enjoyable enough, but nothing I'll be running back to see again and again.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, 300: Rise of an Empire gets five, because any less wouldn't properly show my appreciation for dirty, bloody, half-naked dudes.

Until next time.

Well, I don't know about you, but the minute I visit craft services, my skirt feels too tight...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Non-Stop & Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the cinema for the unlikely double-bill of Non-Stop and Mr. Peabody & Sherman.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know or have guessed from the trailers.

The schedule dictated that I start my day with Non-Stop.

Somewhere over the Atlantic, a Federal air marshal begins receiving threats to the passengers on his flight. When he's accused of having a part in the hijacking, he must keep them safe while trying to clear his own name.

I think everybody took one look at the trailer for Non-Stop and knew it was going to be another of "those" movies that Liam Neeson makes these days. A fair enough assessment, though I don't imagine they'd keep making them if someone weren't enjoying them. (But, then again, there's always Madea...) At any rate, Neeson plays Bill Marks on the same note he does Bryan Mills and John Ottway and Hannibal Smith, and, if you like that sort of thing (as I do), then you'll have a good enough time with it. His supporting cast is comprised of familiar faces: Julianne Moore, Michelle Dockery, Scoot McNairy, Nate Parker, Corey Stoll, Linus Roache, Anson Mount, an underused Lupita Nyong'o, and the suddenly ubiquitous Shea Whigham. No standouts here, Non-Stop is the kind of movie where you probably could have dropped any halfway competent actor into any supporting role and been just fine with Neeson at the helm.

Non-Stop does a terrific job of putting the viewer ON the plane, maintaining tension for the duration of its almost-two-hour runtime. Some of it is predictable and more than a bit hokey, but I was engaged throughout and the eventual resolution did surprise me. Believe me when I say, you won't be in any hurry to get on a plane after you see it!

Non-Stop runs 106 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of action and violence, some language, sensuality, and drug references."

Non-Stop is the Chinese food of the cinema world; you'll enjoy the hell out of it while it lasts, but it won't stick with you long.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Non-Stop gets five and a half.

My closer on yesterday's double-bill was the animated feature Mr. Peabody & Sherman.

Canine genius Mr. Peabody and his adopted human son Sherman must use the Wayback Machine to repair a time rift they created.

Well, dear Blog, regular reader(s) will know that I'm deeply in love with Dreamworks Animation, enough so that I even looked at an open clerical position with them last year. (Dear Employer: I'm not qualified to be their janitor. You're safe.) Even with my high expectations, Mr. Peabody & Sherman did not disappoint. The art and animation are bright, colorful, and sharp. Voice talent includes some notable funnymen (and women): Modern Family's Ty Burrell and Ariel Winter, Leslie Mann, Stephen Colbert, Mel Brooks, and Patrick Warburton. Allison Janney, Stanley Tucci, and Dennis Haysbert also turn up in supporting roles. The movie keeps up a solid pace and doesn't wear out its welcome, maintaining a good balance of kid-safe adventure and humor that's also fun for grownups.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman clocks in at 92 minutes and is rated PG for "some mild action and brief rude humor."

If the movie year generally goes Throwaway Season to Superhero Season to Awards Season, it's fair to say that the animated features are throwing down early this year.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman isn't quite the Lego Movie, but it's still good fun for the entire family.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Mr. Peabody & Sherman gets seven.

Until next time...

 

 

Tough times at Downton as Lady Mary takes a job as a flight attendant...

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE

Greek general Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) assembles his troops to fend off an invading Persian army led by the immortal Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and the vindictive Persian navy commander Artemisia (Eva Green) in this sequel to 300 based on the graphic novel Xerses by Frank Miller. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Noam Murro

Cast: Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro, David Wenham

Release Date: Mar 07, 2014

RealD 3D

Rated: R for strong sustained sequences of stylized bloody violence throughout, a sex scene, nudity and some language

Runtime: 1 hr. 43 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

Whether you loved it or hated it, 300 was a landmark film of sorts.  Its visual style set off a series of imitators all trying to achieve that level of visual glory.  I personally loved 300 even if its story was a bit hollow, the visual fest on display was more than enough to make up for it.   8 years later with a new director at the helm we finally get a sort of sequel.  It’s a prequel and sequel all rolled up in one with event happening before, concurrently and after the events of 300.  It covers a lot of ground and surprisingly it’s incredibly engaging powered by a beefier story behind it.  Sullivan Stapleton is a fine lead even if he doesn’t have the bravado or magnetism of Gerard Butler’s Leonidas.  Eva Green though is the real star of the film.  She vamps up the screen with a maniacal glee which is sure to leave a lasting impression all while wearing an assortment of dominatrix meets gladiator fetish garb.  Each of their roles has a nice bit of depth giving them more heft than expected, it’s a shame there very little characterization for the supporting characters though.  As a result pretty much all the supporting players are just fodder for the beautifully choreographed battles.  Blood splatters everywhere, typically followed by limbs or heads, in a dizzying display of blood soaked madness all on the high seas!  The film ends with a nice opening for the final chapter; hopefully it won’t take another 8 years.    

B+

[Trailer] Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

It's been a long wait but we finally have our first look at the follow up to the original Sin City.  This sequel has been talked about for years but stuck in perpetual production hell until it finally gained traction in the last year and half.

This teaser is likely to thrill fans but probably won't convert newcomers.  Since the sequel is being released around the same time as this past year's Machete Kills, I get the feeling that Rodriguez and Miller are going all out.....

[Trailer] Transformers: Age of Extinction

 

So, apparently, the rules have changed.  Considering the new poster and trailer for the 4th Michael Bay directed Transformers film I have to think he's referring to the addition by subtraction of Shia LaBeouf's from this and future installments.

As for the trailer itself it's typical Bay, love him or hate him.  There isn't much in terms of Transformers action on display we didn't see during the Super Bowl teaser but with LaBeouf out, I'm sure the human portion of these films will be much more bearable.....

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of 3 Days to Kill & Pompeii

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for a pair of too-late-for-awards-season/too-early-for-summer-blockbuster-season throwaways, 3 Days to Kill and Pompeii.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First on my agenda was Kevin Costner's unlikely action thriller 3 Days to Kill.

A terminally ill CIA agent is persuaded to take one final job in exchange for an experimental treatment that could extend his life.

Oh, dear Blog, where do I even start? I guess I should start by saying the fact that this is a terrible movie in no way diminished my enjoyment of it; on the contrary, I quite liked it. BUT...........

Beginning at the beginning, nobody is buying Amber Heard in her role as a top CIA agent. She has neither the years nor the bearing to pull it off. It's not a poor performance, by any means, she's just entirely unsuitable for the part. Having said that, ain't nobody complainin' about looking at Amber Heard for two hours, either!

Kevin Costner is just...Kevin Costner. What else can I say? I like the guy, I do, but he's about as emotive as Joan Rivers' terminally botoxed face. He gets away with it here, as he always does, by being just that likable. I'm sitting there thinking, "God, that was bad.......but, you know what, I actually don't mind." And there's Kevin Costner for ya.

The movie itself provides so much backstory on Costner's character that it's really more like two movies. I want some depth, some rationale for the characters' situations and choices, but TWO hokey subplots that never really tie into the actual story? It's a bit much. The humor is lowbrow and predictable--but I laughed anyway--and the songs the director (McG) plops here and there are poor choices, terribly timed, or both. Maybe I'm just spoiled because nobody's as good at that as Edgar Wright, but I can't be the only one who was creeped out by an old dude like Costner slow-dancing with his teenage onscreen daughter to Bread's Make it With You...even if it is supposed to be her mother's favorite song. The action is solid, though, the characters mostly sympathetic, and there's a small, decent twist that I did not see coming for one minute.

3 Days to Kill runs 113 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of violence and action, some sensuality, and language."

3 Days to Kill provides a couple hours of forgettable fun. Even during awards season, that's not a crime.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, 3 Days to Kill gets five.

Rounding out yesterday's double-header was Paul W.S. Anderson's latest bit of eye candy, Pompeii.

Do we really need a synopsis for this one? Volcano goes "boom," and even Kit Harington's spectacular abs can't save the day for the doomed city of Pompeii.

In addition to the volcano, this version of Pompeii offers its own forbidden love story, in the form of Harington's slave/gladiator, who falls for a princess (Emily Browning), unwillingly betrothed to a Roman senator (Kiefer Sutherland). Though he enjoys top billing, Harington has the fewest lines of any of the main cast, and is mostly called on to stand around looking fit while casting longing looks at the princess or withering looks at the Senator and his thugs. Sutherland spends 90 minutes falling in and out of the same half-assed English accent he used in 1993's The Three Musketeers, and, surprisingly, is the worst thing about a movie that's pretty resoundingly terrible. What little challenge this script provides isn't beyond most of the cast, but nobody does anything in particular to elevate it, either. In the most backhanded of backhanded compliments, I suppose Sasha Roiz and Jared Harris made me cringe the least.

Pompeii's effects strictly adhere to the "go big or go home" credo, with plenty of flying fireballs and crumbling buildings. Sadly, the costumes and set pieces look like something out of a high-school production of Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was not impressed with the overall look of the movie. Having said that, I'm a woman of simple tastes, and if you give me a couple hours of big explosions, hot, shirtless dudes in tiny skirts, and a few glorious 3D shots of one lady-in-waiting's bodacious bosom, well, I'm probably not going to complain too much.

Pompeii clocks in at a quick 98 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense battle sequences, disaster-related action, and brief sexual content."

As with 3 Days to Kill, the fact that Pompeii isn't a very good movie didn't stop me having a good time with it, so I'll say for the final time this season: if you're looking for a break from all the uber-serious awards bait, Pompeii just might be the movie for you.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Pompeii also gets five.

Until next time...

Wait...what was I saying??