MOVIE REVIEW: AMBULANCE

 

Needing money to cover his wife's medical bills, a decorated veteran teams up with his adoptive brother to steal $32 million from a Los Angeles bank. However, when their getaway goes spectacularly wrong, the desperate thieves hijack an ambulance that's carrying a severely wounded cop and an EMT worker. Caught in a high-speed chase, the two siblings must figure out a way to outrun the law while keeping their hostages alive.

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Eiza González, Garret Dillahunt, Keir O'Donnell

Release Date: April 8, 2022

Genre: Action,Crime, Drama, Thriller

Rated R for intense violence, bloody images and language throughout

Runtime: 2h 16m

Review:

Michael Bay is the kind of director whose better known for his cinematic excess more than the fact that he can create a fun big screen thrill ride.  Glossy, frenetic and over the top can describe pretty much any movie on his resume.  Ambulance sees Bay at his best and worst anchored by some fun performances from his central cast who are clearly having a blast playing in this wheelhouse. Bay directs this film with a coked out frenzy that starts immediately and rarely lets up during its overlong runtime.  The film works best during it's opening act bank heist which suits Bay's talents perfectly.  The camera flies around every scene like it can't stop or it'll die.  The action is loud and glossy with random dips into stark violence which is jarring when it pops up.  Still, its hard to ignore the insane cinematic energy on display especially when the cast is on the same page as the director.  Jake Gyllenhaal channels 90s Nic Cage by going all in on the crazy energy that last for the entire film, it's an impressive display of stamina to say the least.  Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is more subtle and measure, something rare for a Bay film, in his turn as he gives his character far more depth than the script does.  Eiza González fares far better than most of the female characters in a Bay film.  Sure she's the best looking EMT you've ever seen with make up that never smears regardless of what kind of madness she's gone through.  Like everyone else, her character is more of a caricature than anything else but then again nobody ever goes into a Michael Bay film looking for a character study.  Bayhem is in full effect once the movie hits the road with an assortment of car chases and crashes which are increasingly ludicrous as the film goes on.  Bay is the type of director that just can't help himself with the final act displaying his directorial hubris.  Ambulance works really well as cinematic junk food but its like watching fireworks for 2 hours, sometime less is more. 

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Transformers: The Last Knight

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Transformers: The Last Knight.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing that hasn't been revealed already by trailers and clips.

 

Humans have set themselves against all Transformers, making outlaws of anyone who continues to be their allies, but Earthlings are forced to reconsider that position when the planet is threatened.

 

The latest Transformers movie is taking a critical beating, not unlike those that came before it. It's pretty much exactly as advertised, however, so anyone with reasonable expectations shouldn't be disappointed.

 

Since I actually liked the movie, let's get the negatives out of the way first, beginning with the obvious: a two-and-a-half hour runtime. Ninety minutes, an hour and forty-five at most, would have made The Last Knight a great summer popcorn flick, but even the biggest, best effects and action wear thin at two and a half hours, nevermind the muddled backstory does nothing to earn such an excessive runtime. Then there's the "humor." With only the genuinely amusing bits, the film would have been plenty light enough, but instead it constantly oversells juvenile, annoying one-liners. That's the bad news. The good news is there's actually a great deal of good news. Transformers is all about huge effects and, as such, is one of my very favorite franchises to revisit on the big screen. This outing is no exception, with visuals that are massive-times-ten and sound that shakes the floor. Cool action sequences never seem to drag on, despite the bloated whole, and when the jokes hit the mark, the movie is actually very funny. In what he's declared his final Transformers outing, Mark Wahlberg remains more watchable that Shia LeBeouf ever was, and Anthony Hopkins appears to be having the time of his life, never demeaning the material despite the fact it's clearly beneath him. For my money, it should be easy for anyone to have at least as much fun with this movie as Anthony Hopkins does.

Transformers: The Last Knight clocks in at a whopping 149 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence and intense sequences of sci-fi action, language, and some innuendo."

 

Transformers: The Last Knight is big, dopey fun that fills a summer weekend quite nicely. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Transformers: The Last Knight gets six.

 

Fangirl points: Mitch Pileggi! Steve Buscemi! SANTIAGO CABRERA! *heart-eyes emoji* 

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT

Humans are at war with the Transformers, and Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving the future lies buried in the secrets of the past and the hidden history of Transformers on Earth. Now, it's up to the unlikely alliance of Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), Bumblebee, an English lord (Anthony Hopkins) and an Oxford professor (Laura Haddock) to save the world.
Director: Michael Bay
 
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock, Stanley Tucci

Release Date: Jun 21, 2017

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Rated PG-13 for violence and intense sequences of sci-fi action, language, and some innuendo

Review:

I’ve always been forgiving of Michael Bay’s live action series because the cartoon will always be a fond part of my childhood.  I’ve always found plenty to like in movies even if they’ve been far from perfect.  I’d actually enjoyed the last installment because Bay finally seemed to figure out that it helps the series if you give the Transformers some personality and make them the center piece.  I’d hoped it was something that’d be continued in The Last Knight.  Sadly, Bay decides to put the Transformers in the background, Optimus Prime barely has 30 minutes of screentime, leaving us with Mark Wahlberg and Laura Haddock’s pillowly lips.  The plot is an overly complex mess that seems to find the most complicated way to do everything.  There are a bevy of new human characters including a plucky child, played by Isabela Moner, who’s introduced and forgotten for the majority of the film only to be reintroduced in the final act.  The saving grace of it all is Anthony Hopkins who’s clearly enjoying himself in the unrelenting madness going on around him.  Hopkins and his robot butler provide the majority of the laughs and enjoyment in the film.  The biggest issue is simply making a movie called Transformers and leaving the titular robots on the sideline while haphazardly throwing famous characters from Transformers lore around like undercooked pasta.  It’s a real shame because the series could be a fun sci-fi series if it could stay focused on its actual stars, the robots. 

D

MOVIE REVIEW: 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi is an action thriller based on the 2014 non-fiction book written by journalist Mitchell Zuckoff with the Annex Security Team. The film depicts the harrowing true story of the attack on a CIA annex in Benghazi, Libya, on September 11, 2012, which killed four Americans. After the assault begins, a U.S. Special Ops team are sent to the annex to protect those still trapped within the compound. Directed by Michael Bay, the film stars John Krasinski, James Badge Dale, and Pablo Schreiber. ~ Tom Ciampoli, Rovi

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: John Krasinski, Pablo Schreiber, James Badge Dale, Max Martini, Toby Stephens

Release Date: Jan 15, 2016

Rated R for strong combat violence throughout, bloody images, and language.

Runtime: 2 hr. 24 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi is a surprisingly mature and somewhat restrained effort from bombastic director Michael Bay.  It still has many of the hallmarks of most of Bay’s work but it’s not as garish as it’s been in his most recent films.  Bay doesn’t take any time before he throws the audience into a series of well choreographed action sequences which make up the better part of the films runtime.  The characters don’t get nearly as much time as they deserve to get properly fleshed out and what little characterization there is falls into some well worn clichés.  It’s a shame Bay didn’t spend more time with some of these characters because John Krasinski and James Badge Dale are game with their performances.  You get the feeling that if they had a bit more to work with we might have had something more meaningful.  As it is Bay gives us a solid auctioneer that feels like a modern day Alamo on more than a few occasion.  It’s a tad overlong and some clunky dialogue hampers some of the slower sections.  Even though it’s an imperfect film it still qualifies as one of Michael Bay’s best films in recent memory.

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Transformers: Age of Extinction

Dearest Blog, after dodging the bullet last weekend, yesterday I decided to suck it up and see Transformers: Age of Extinction. It would be less than forthright not to admit that I went mostly because I'd heard Luke Evans' Dracula trailer was running before it, and because I wanted to see Jersey Boys again and don't like begging a ride for less than a double-feature.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

A down-on-his-luck mechanic lands in hot water when he buys a beat up old truck that's not quite what it seems.

I love Transformers and was genuinely excited for this sequel...until I heard it was over two and a half hours long. Despite almost universally negative reviews, I think Age of Extinction would have been quite a lot of fun at 90 minutes or even an hour and 45, but it does nothing to earn its Middle Earthy runtime.

A cast of familiar faces is unremarkable to either the good or the bad, though Mark Wahlberg is a definite improvement over the unlikable Shia LaBeouf, and I, personally, am always delighted to see Titus Welliver in a movie that does good business. The storyline doesn't hold any real surprises, and the dialogue is almost impressively stupid at times. Let's face it, though, dear reader(s), a Transformers movie is never gonna be about the people or the script, am I right?

It's about giant alien robots and big loud effects and maximum destruction. Age of Extinction does pretty well on all those counts, and, even at my most drowsy, I was utterly caught up in the big machines, if not so much in the daddy/daughter drama.

I elected to see this in 2D, not wanting to waste any more money on it than I had to, but it left me no doubt the 3D would be worth it.

Transformers: Age of Extinction clocks in at a very bloated 165 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, language, and brief innuendo."

It has all the components for a great summer blockbuster, but instead it proves that the only thing that's really extinct in Hollywood is the art of editing.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Transformers: Age of Extinction gets four and a half.

Until next time...

PS: No Dracula trailer. Curse you, cinema gods, for depriving me of big-screen Luke!

PPS: If you haven't seen Jersey Boys yet, go see it. If you have seen it, see it again!

MOVIE REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

The Transformers film series continues with this fourth entry from director Michael Bay and executive producer Steven Spielberg. Mark Wahlberg and Jack Reynor star. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Michael Bay 

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Stanley Tucci, Ken Watanabe, Peter Cullen

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, language

Release Date: Jun 27, 2014

Run Time. 2 hrs. 37 min

Genres: Action/Adventure 

Review:

Transformers: Age of Extinction is going to have a lot of batred shot it’s way most of well deserved.  It’s an over bloated mess that’s got way too many storylines at play to make any of it cohesive.  Had it stuck with the most interesting angle, secret government agency taking out all Transformers, it probably would have been one Bay’s better films.  As is, it’s a absurdly log slog through action set piece in between bits of story with more story followed by action set pieces and more story etc… So is it even worth your time?  Sort of.  As a superfan of the cartoon, I’ve found plenty to like in the previous efforts even the Revenge of the Fallen.  The frustrating part about Extinction is that it fixes a lot of issues from the previous films.  The human side of the story is actually bearable thanks to the addition of Wahlberg, Tucci and Grammer.  Mark Wahlberg is solid as the lead even if it stretches the imagination that he’s some sort of genius inventor.  Kelsey Grammer is fairly solid as the human villain, he poses a creditable threat throughout.  Stanley Tucci proves why he’s a great actor; taking a silly role and making it work.  Another aspect that’s much improved is that the transformers villain, Lockdown, is actually interesting this go around, something they failed to do over 3 films with Megatron.  Additionally, the Autobots at Prime’s side have some characterization that makes them likable and makes this feel the closest to the animated series and any child of the 80s will get chills when the dinobots makes their appearance.  It’s the Bay oddity that this is probably his best Transformers film even though it’s filled with the worse he has to offer.  Sadly, the animated Transformers The Movie is still the best cinematic entry.

C

[Trailer] Transformers: Age of Extinction

 

So, apparently, the rules have changed.  Considering the new poster and trailer for the 4th Michael Bay directed Transformers film I have to think he's referring to the addition by subtraction of Shia LaBeouf's from this and future installments.

As for the trailer itself it's typical Bay, love him or hate him.  There isn't much in terms of Transformers action on display we didn't see during the Super Bowl teaser but with LaBeouf out, I'm sure the human portion of these films will be much more bearable.....

Cindy Prascik’s Review of Pain & Gain

Dearest Blog, hot on the heels of a great concert, the movies seemed like a poor substitute for the thing I really love. Still, it's Saturday, so off to the cinema I went to see Pain & Gain.

Three muscle-bound meatheads hatch a risky plot to relieve a Miami mogul of his considerable wealth.
Spoiler level here will be mild.

There's really no reason Pain & Gain should be a funny story. Three idiots ruin their own lives and several others, just because they think life owes them more than they've got. However, the sheer stupidity of our terrible trio--brilliantly played by Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Mackie, and Dwayne Johnson--makes this the funniest movie I've seen in at least a year.

I've never held with people who believe dramatic acting is more credible than comedy. Wahlberg, Mackie, and Johnson are absolutely fantastic in Pain & Gain, and Ed Harris nearly steals the show when he turns up to take on the bumbling criminals. It's to both writers' and actors' credit that the leads are enjoyable, yet it's
always clear they're bad guys, and you won't feel sorry for them if things go sideways.

Pain & Gain is loaded with brutal violence, bad language, and drug use, with some boobies thrown in for good measure...pretty much offensive across the board. If you're sensitive about such things, this isn't the movie for you. If, for whatever reason, you can get a laugh out of some horrible and inappropriate scenarios, well...you're in the right place! My only complaint is that the movie's somewhat longer than it needs to be.

Pain & Gain clocks in at 130 minutes and is rated R for "bloody violence, crude sexual content, nudity, language throughout, and drug use." I thoroughly enjoyed it, laughing out loud for most of the two hours. Of a possible nine Weaselys, Pain & Gain gets seven and a half.
Until next


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Time….

Uhhh...get well soon?

MOVIE REVIEW: PAIN & GAIN

Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) is a regular bodybuilder who works at the Sun Gym along with his friend Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie). Sick of living the poor life, Lugo concocts a plan to kidnap Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub), a regular at the gym and a rich, spoiled businessman, and extort money from him by means of torture. With the help of recently released criminal Paul Doyle (Dwayne Johnson), the "Sun Gym Gang" successfully gets Kershaw to sign over all his finances. But when Kershaw survives an attempted murder by the gang, he hires private investigator Ed Du Bois (Ed Harris) to catch the criminals after the Miami Police Department fails to do so.

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris

Release Date: Apr 26, 2013

Rated R for crude Sexual Content, Bloody Violence, Drug Use, Language Throughout and Nudity

Runtime: 2 hr. 9 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy

Review:

I’ve been a bit of a Michael Bay apologist over the years. Not because I believe he’s a mad genius but because I think he’s actually a solid action director whose becoming a whipping boy admittedly due to some of his really bad films. He creates the type of bombastic popcorn movies that are easily digestible and would rot your teeth if you consumed them regularly. Like all indulgences it should be done in moderation which is ironic since Bay doesn’t know anything about moderation. Pain & Gain is a bulging muscle flexing with veins popping out everywhere. Its first act is the type of caffeinated movie going experience that feels like somebody’s poured cocaine into your eyeballs. A bulging Mark Wahlberg is focused and dedicated to his role. He’s clearly enjoying himself throughout and keeps a bug eyed energy alive through the better part of the film. Equally game Dwayne Johnson, looking bigger than I’ve ever seen him, and Anthony Mackie match him throughout. Their interplay is great comedy especially as things get more ridiculous and out of control. Having the story change from point of during the story allows us to get into these morons minds and see what’s leading them down the incredibly slippery slope towards disaster. Tony Shalhoub delivers an extra salty performance in a limited role. Sadly Ed Harris and Rebel Wilson are mostly marginalized in thankless roles. Pain and Gain’s major faults are really a reflection of Bay’s. The characters, all of them, are caricatures of people; none of them feel real in anyway. They’re Bay mutated version of what real people are. Additionally, Bay never knows too much of a good thing. The first 2 acts are crisp and energetic but the last act drags on. It’s not terrible but it could have been streamlined. Bay would have been better served if he remembered its ok not to flex all the time.

B

Movie Reviews: TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Movie Reviews: TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
IN THEATERS

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

The battle for Earth has ended but the battle for the universe has just begun. After returning to Cybertron, Starscream assumes command of the Decepticons, and has decided to return to Earth with force. The Autobots believing that peace was possible finds out that Megatron's dead body has been stolen from the US Military by Skorpinox and revives him using his own spark. Now Megatron is back seeking revenge and with Starscream and more Decepticon reinforcements on the way, the Autobots with reinforcements of their own, may have more to deal with then meets the eye.

Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Dunn

Director: Michael Bay

Opens today June 24, 2009

Runtime: 2 hr. 30 min.

Rated PG-13 for brief drug material, intense seq. of sci-fi violence, intense seq. of sci-fi action, crude and sexual material and language

Genres: Sci-Fi Action, Action, Science Fiction

Review:

A simple way to gauge how much you’ll enjoy Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen is to ask yourself a few simple questions. First off, did you enjoy the first movie? Secondly, do you know what to expect from a Michael Bay film? If you answered yes to both you’ll probably enjoy this sequel for what it is, mindless popcorn fun which never attempts to evoke more than visceral sensory thrills. For the most part Bay successes in doing this giving the audience more Autobot Decepticon battles and massive set pieces which you can’t help but marvel at. Bay lenses this film with his usual hyper kinetic style and delivers an endless array of money shots after slow motion money shots. It can get a tad taxing with the films overlong run time and while the battles are cool to look at they rarely carry any emotional weight to them mainly due to an even more thread bare script than the first film. Some major drawbacks to the script are way too many bad sexual or crude jokes which feel forced throughout, if you thought the first film’s urinating gag was bad you’ll find plenty to dislike here. Also there are plenty of new transformer characters brought into the fold, some with great effect like Soundwave, Sideswipe and Arcee. Other like the Autobot twins Mudflap and Skids near Jar Jar Binks level of grating-ness. The script is a jumbled mess that contains way too may cringe inducing lines and the overall plot isn’t terribly clear with some conceits making more sense (The Fallen, The Matrix of Leadership, Space Bridges and Energon) if you’ve been a lifelong fan of the original animated series otherwise it’s all just mindless jargon. Character wise neither human or robot characters fare very well in terms of depth. Whatever the character was in the first film they are pretty much the same thing here. Shia LaBeouf delivers a few interesting character moments but mostly he’s pretty much doing what he did at the end of the first film, running away from Robots and explosions. Megan Fox suffers an equal fate and she not strong enough an actress to make something special with such little non screaming running time. Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson return from the first installment but they could have easily been replaced by anyone or no one as they aren’t asked to do more than shoot and scream orders. Faring a little better are other returning supporting players John Turturro Kevin Dunn and Julie White, the latter returning as Sam’s parents. All three are good fun and bring some needed comic relief. Newcomer to the franchise Ramon Rodriguez, as Sam’s college roommate, is also goofy fun in his supporting role. These actors weren’t asked to do much and they don’t for the most part, something that becomes fairly apparent when there’s a lull in the action. That being said when the film closes and you’ve witness a final battle that rivals Bay’s own Bad Boys 2 ( his other nth level opus of destruction) in sheer size and length you’ll either find yourself utterly entertained or mostly empty or maybe even both.

C+