Dearest Blog, after dodging the bullet last weekend, yesterday I decided to suck it up and see Transformers: Age of Extinction. It would be less than forthright not to admit that I went mostly because I'd heard Luke Evans' Dracula trailer was running before it, and because I wanted to see Jersey Boys again and don't like begging a ride for less than a double-feature.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
A down-on-his-luck mechanic lands in hot water when he buys a beat up old truck that's not quite what it seems.
I love Transformers and was genuinely excited for this sequel...until I heard it was over two and a half hours long. Despite almost universally negative reviews, I think Age of Extinction would have been quite a lot of fun at 90 minutes or even an hour and 45, but it does nothing to earn its Middle Earthy runtime.
A cast of familiar faces is unremarkable to either the good or the bad, though Mark Wahlberg is a definite improvement over the unlikable Shia LaBeouf, and I, personally, am always delighted to see Titus Welliver in a movie that does good business. The storyline doesn't hold any real surprises, and the dialogue is almost impressively stupid at times. Let's face it, though, dear reader(s), a Transformers movie is never gonna be about the people or the script, am I right?
It's about giant alien robots and big loud effects and maximum destruction. Age of Extinction does pretty well on all those counts, and, even at my most drowsy, I was utterly caught up in the big machines, if not so much in the daddy/daughter drama.
I elected to see this in 2D, not wanting to waste any more money on it than I had to, but it left me no doubt the 3D would be worth it.
Transformers: Age of Extinction clocks in at a very bloated 165 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, language, and brief innuendo."
It has all the components for a great summer blockbuster, but instead it proves that the only thing that's really extinct in Hollywood is the art of editing.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Transformers: Age of Extinction gets four and a half.
Until next time...
PS: No Dracula trailer. Curse you, cinema gods, for depriving me of big-screen Luke!
PPS: If you haven't seen Jersey Boys yet, go see it. If you have seen it, see it again!
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