Cindy Prascik's Reviews of 3 Days to Kill & Pompeii

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for a pair of too-late-for-awards-season/too-early-for-summer-blockbuster-season throwaways, 3 Days to Kill and Pompeii.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First on my agenda was Kevin Costner's unlikely action thriller 3 Days to Kill.

A terminally ill CIA agent is persuaded to take one final job in exchange for an experimental treatment that could extend his life.

Oh, dear Blog, where do I even start? I guess I should start by saying the fact that this is a terrible movie in no way diminished my enjoyment of it; on the contrary, I quite liked it. BUT...........

Beginning at the beginning, nobody is buying Amber Heard in her role as a top CIA agent. She has neither the years nor the bearing to pull it off. It's not a poor performance, by any means, she's just entirely unsuitable for the part. Having said that, ain't nobody complainin' about looking at Amber Heard for two hours, either!

Kevin Costner is just...Kevin Costner. What else can I say? I like the guy, I do, but he's about as emotive as Joan Rivers' terminally botoxed face. He gets away with it here, as he always does, by being just that likable. I'm sitting there thinking, "God, that was bad.......but, you know what, I actually don't mind." And there's Kevin Costner for ya.

The movie itself provides so much backstory on Costner's character that it's really more like two movies. I want some depth, some rationale for the characters' situations and choices, but TWO hokey subplots that never really tie into the actual story? It's a bit much. The humor is lowbrow and predictable--but I laughed anyway--and the songs the director (McG) plops here and there are poor choices, terribly timed, or both. Maybe I'm just spoiled because nobody's as good at that as Edgar Wright, but I can't be the only one who was creeped out by an old dude like Costner slow-dancing with his teenage onscreen daughter to Bread's Make it With You...even if it is supposed to be her mother's favorite song. The action is solid, though, the characters mostly sympathetic, and there's a small, decent twist that I did not see coming for one minute.

3 Days to Kill runs 113 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of violence and action, some sensuality, and language."

3 Days to Kill provides a couple hours of forgettable fun. Even during awards season, that's not a crime.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, 3 Days to Kill gets five.

Rounding out yesterday's double-header was Paul W.S. Anderson's latest bit of eye candy, Pompeii.

Do we really need a synopsis for this one? Volcano goes "boom," and even Kit Harington's spectacular abs can't save the day for the doomed city of Pompeii.

In addition to the volcano, this version of Pompeii offers its own forbidden love story, in the form of Harington's slave/gladiator, who falls for a princess (Emily Browning), unwillingly betrothed to a Roman senator (Kiefer Sutherland). Though he enjoys top billing, Harington has the fewest lines of any of the main cast, and is mostly called on to stand around looking fit while casting longing looks at the princess or withering looks at the Senator and his thugs. Sutherland spends 90 minutes falling in and out of the same half-assed English accent he used in 1993's The Three Musketeers, and, surprisingly, is the worst thing about a movie that's pretty resoundingly terrible. What little challenge this script provides isn't beyond most of the cast, but nobody does anything in particular to elevate it, either. In the most backhanded of backhanded compliments, I suppose Sasha Roiz and Jared Harris made me cringe the least.

Pompeii's effects strictly adhere to the "go big or go home" credo, with plenty of flying fireballs and crumbling buildings. Sadly, the costumes and set pieces look like something out of a high-school production of Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was not impressed with the overall look of the movie. Having said that, I'm a woman of simple tastes, and if you give me a couple hours of big explosions, hot, shirtless dudes in tiny skirts, and a few glorious 3D shots of one lady-in-waiting's bodacious bosom, well, I'm probably not going to complain too much.

Pompeii clocks in at a quick 98 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense battle sequences, disaster-related action, and brief sexual content."

As with 3 Days to Kill, the fact that Pompeii isn't a very good movie didn't stop me having a good time with it, so I'll say for the final time this season: if you're looking for a break from all the uber-serious awards bait, Pompeii just might be the movie for you.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Pompeii also gets five.

Until next time...

Wait...what was I saying??

MOVIE REVIEW: POMPEII

Paul W.S. Anderson directs this period disaster film centered on the story of a Pompeii gladiator who races to save his true love as Mount Vesuvius prepares to erupt in A.D. 79. After rising out of slavery to become a gladiator, Milo (Kit Harrington) falls for radiant merchant's daughter Cassia (Emily Browning), who is being coerced into marrying a nefarious Roman Senator. Meanwhile, as the lava starts to flow, Milo must escape the arena and rescue Cassia before they are both turned to ash. CarrieAnne Moss, Adewa Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jared Harris, and Kiefer Sutherland co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson

Cast: Kit Harington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Emily Browning, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris

Release Date: Feb 21, 2014

Rated: PG-13 for intense battle sequences, disaster-related action and brief sexual content

Runtime: 1 hr. 38 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

It should probably tell you something about a film if the biggest compliment I can give it is that it’s not as horrible as I expected it to be. Paul W.S. Anderson’s film is filled with things unashamedly lifted from other better films throughout. Logic has no place here so just know that going in. Volcanic eruption, who cares we have plenty of time for a sword fight. Characters just met a few days ago but they are suddenly the most important thing in the world and worth losing your life for, sure why not. It’s dreck but it’s also kind of watchable once you get past the snooze inducing first act. The other two acts can be described simply as Gladiator knockoff and Vesuvius Finally Blows up. Those 2 acts are fairly watchable even though there are some unintentionally funny sequences that pop up from time to time. The acting is passable at best. Kit “You know nothing Jon Snow” Harington sleep walks through the roll which isn’t surprising to be honest since his love interest is Emily Browning and her unnaturally pouty lips. A horribly miscast Kiefer Sutherland keeps a smirk on throughout the entire film probably because he knows he’s just stealing money. Jared Harris and Carrie-Anne Moss make an appearance and collect checks since they aren’t asked to do anything but be cannon fodder. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje appears to be the only one having any fun in this campy silliness. The funny thing is that it’s probably one of Paul W.S. Anderson’s better films since Event Horizon.

C

MOVIE REVIEW: EVIL DEAD

The Deadites return in this revamp of the Evil Dead franchise from newcomer director Fede Alvarez. The action centers on a group of friends who head out to an isolated cabin in order to clean up their drug-addicted friend (Jane Levy).. The helmer wrote the script with Rodo Sayagues. Film series veterans Sam Raimi, Robert Tapert, and Bruce Campbell handle producing duties on the Ghost House Pictures production for Sony Pictures Entertainment. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director Fede Alvarez

Cast: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Jim McLarty

Release Date: Apr 05, 2013

Rated R for strong bloody violence and gore, some sexual content and language

Runtime: 1 hr. 31 min.

Genres: Horror

Review:

Stilted acting, outrageous gore and inventive camera work made the original Evil Dead a horror camp classic. A remake of that film is terribly unnecessary just like all the other unnecessary remakes but it’s a trend that won’t stop so I will. This re-imagining focuses on the same cabin with a group of pretty 20 somethings expect one of them is trying to get clean this go around. When the action starts it engages in a full throttle assault on the senses. Fede Alvarez gives the original it due with a ton of winks and nods but while delivering an over the top gross out that’s as campy as the original. The trailers suggested a more serious tone but the film is just as stupid as the original. The characters are intentionally idiotic and moronic. The FX are notch though, delivering some of the best gross out gore I’ve seen in a long while. Jane Levy, in heavy make up for the better part of the film, does her best to add a little something to her character but it’s not really required for carnival of carnage that borrows heavily from all kinds of horror sources even recalling The Exorcist on occasion. It all builds to a rather thrilling 3rd act that’s rather insane but satisfying at the same time.

B+

Movie Reviews: CLOVERFIELD

Friday, January 18, 2008
Movie Reviews: CLOVERFIELD
IN THEATHERS




CLOVERFIELD




Rob Hawkins (Michael Stahl-David) has just gotten a new job, except he's going to have to move from NYC to Tokyo to take it. On the eve of his departure, Rob's brother Jason (Mike Vogel) throws a surprise going-away party that's interrupted when a giant monster attacks the city. Receiving a panicked phone call from his ex-girlfriend Beth (Odette Yustman), Rob races through the destruction with several of his friends to save her.

Cast Michael Stahl-David, Mike Vogel, Odette Yustman, Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, T.J. Miller

Director(s) Matt Reeves

Writer(s) Drew Goddard

Status In theaters (wide)

Genre(s) Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Release Date Jan. 18, 2008

Running Time 90 minutes

MPAA Rating PG-13 - for violence, terror and disturbing images


Review:

The genius of Cloverfield is not its point of view shooting style, done before famously in both The Blair Witch Project and Cannibal Holocaust, but instead in using that style to make well worn conceits seem fresh and new. Cloverfield is a gripping, at times thrilling, ride of a film that uses its 90 minutes of celluloid to its fullest effect. Matt Reeves, doing J.J. Abrams leg work here, gives the audience just enough character development to make the players in this horrific fun ride more than just faceless cut outs. Once we are introduced to the cast of characters and the monster makes it's appearance there are a few scenes that strike eerily close to reality especially considering the New York setting that maybe upsetting to some still overly sensitive to the events of 9-11. Once those moments pass we are subjected to a first person trek through a nightmarish, occasionally claustrophobic, suburban labyrinth with a monster or monsters lurking around any corner. Matt Reeves gives the audience just enough glimpses of the main beasty to placate most curiosity and maintain a solid sense of realism and sense of urgency. It doesn't quite have the sincerity of The Blair Witch Project as this feels more staged and some of the acting is down right laughable. It doesn't help that the characters make brain dead decisions pretty much throughout. That being said the characters are never the main point of emphasis instead it feels more like they are scurrying around in the background of a monster movie we never see. Plot wise, Cloverfield is derivate borrowing heavily from monster movies and borrowing a classic zombie movie ending, in other words there is nothing that will shock you if you were to read a synopsis but the actual experience is so much more enjoyable.

B+