MOVIE REVIEW: MADAME WEB

 

Cassandra Webb is a New York City paramedic who starts to show signs of clairvoyance. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she must protect three young women from a mysterious adversary who wants them dead.

Director: S.J. Clarkson

Cast: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O'Connor, Isabela Merced, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott

Release Date: February 14, 2024 

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Rated PG-13 for violence/action and language.

Runtime: 1h 54m

Review:

Madame Web arrives onscreen barely registering a pulse thanks to a bland script and a cast that's as disinterested as the audience.  S.J. Clarkson does her best to give this low rent version of Edge of Tomorrow some life early on but using inventive angles and shots during some of the action sequences.  There are small slivers of energy, especially early, but once the film goes into an endless cycle of repetition which kills any sense of momentum or entertainment.  Those hoping for some mindless superhero action will be sorely disappointed since the majority of that occurs in a flash forward which the film never occurs in the actual film, leaving this film as nothing more than set up for a future installment.  Instead, the film follows Dakota Johnson's Cassandra Webb kidnap/rescue the trio of Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O'Connor and Isabela Merced and chaperon them around before abandoning them for an impromptu day trip to Peru.  It’s all rather nonsensical and illogical which might be goofy if any of the cast put any sort of effort into their performances.  Johnson leads the cast with one of the more uninspired performances in a big budget film in recent memory.  Her consistently monotone line delivery makes it feel like we are watching rehearsal footage instead of the final cut.  That energy runs across her supporting cast  who are saddled with the most generic clichés of early 2000's teenage girls.  It’s so painfully bad that you wouldn't be surprised if they randomly started singing Spice Girls song just to drive the point home about the live action Brats dolls assembled.  Tahar Rahim doesn't fair much better as the film's sort of evil Spider-man from the dollar store with his stilted delivery that makes Johnson look inspired in comparison.  Madame Web is a mess of a film that commits a variety of sins which would be forgivable if it wasn't so incredibly boring.

D-

MOVIE REVIEW: THE HUNT

Twelve strangers wake up in a clearing. They don't know where they are -- or how they got there. In the shadow of a dark internet conspiracy theory, ruthless elitists gather at a remote location to hunt humans for sport. But their master plan is about to be derailed when one of the hunted, Crystal, turns the tables on her pursuers.

Director: Craig Zobel

Cast: Betty Gilpin, Ike Barinholtz, Emma Roberts, Hilary Swank, Ethan Suplee, Sturgill Simpson

Release Date: March 13, 2020

Action, Horror, Thriller

Rated R for strong bloody violence, and language throughout.

Runtime: 1 h 29 min

Review:

The Hunt is every bit as stupid as it looks and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  It’s over the top Twitter political comment fight come to gruesome life is goofy and ham handed.  A bit of subtleness would have made this film just a tad bit more meaningful but as it’s an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon come to life.  In the first few minutes you sense every strand of it’s Grindhouse origin, it owes a lot to the 80s splatterfest Turkey Shoot.  Taken in that context, it’s a fun lark with a goofy but fun script.  Craig Zobel and his cast all have their tongue firmly in cheek so it’s never overly serious which lets all the blood and gore play as funny.  The cast, especially at the beginning, is made of a round table of familiar faces from TV but don’t get to attached to anyone because only a few are long for this brisk film’s runtime.  At it’s center is Betty Gilpin who carries the whole film with her wonderful turn which will remind people of Samara Weaving in last years Ready or Not and Sharni Vinson in Your Next.  It’s a fun performance that makes you look past the fact that her character is a murder machine in a Victoria Secret body.  It’s nothing new for Gilpin whose mastered that type of dichotomy in Netflix’s GLOW but here she can just go all out and have fun.  There’s no subtlety to this film and you’ll probably enjoy it more than you’d willingly admit.


C+

MOVIE REVIEW WE’RE THE MILLERS

A low-level pot dealer poses as a family man in order to pay back a debt to his supplier in this comedy starring Saturday Night Live alumni Jason Sudeikis. When David attempts to perform a good deed and gets robbed in the process, however, his supplier Brad (Ed Helms) is none too happy. Now, in order to pay Brad back before the hammer drops, David must retrieve a big drug shipment from Mexico and sneak back across the border undetected. It's a risky job for sure, but with the help of a few neighbors David might just pull it off. With sardonic stripper Rose (Jennifer Aniston) assuming the role of housewife, teenage misfit Kenny (Will Poulter) posing as the awkward son, and rebellious Casey (Emma Roberts) filling in as his sister, David slips on some khakis, and starts heading south. Nick Offerman, Kathryn Hahn, and Ken Marino co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber

Cast: Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Will Poulter, Emma Roberts, Ed Helms

Release Date: Aug 07, 2013

Rated R for crude sexual content, pervasive language, drug material and brief graphic nudity.

Runtime: 1 hr. 50 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy

Review:

We’re the Millers is fun raunchy little romp of movie with cartoonish characters in cartoonish situations. It’s well aware of the type of film it is but for some reason it wants to tack on a redemptive ending for some generally bad characters. Personally I’ve never understood why raunchy comedies feel the need to teach its characters a lesson especially when it doesn’t make sense. Jason Sudeikis’s character is more or less jerk, albeit a funny one, throughout until he has his A-HA moment in an eye rolling moment. I know I’ve probably belabored the point about the ending but it does kind of leave a WTF taste in your mouth. Regardless, the better portion of the film is consistently funny while remaining fairly harmless for an R rated film. Aniston, who I can’t stand for some reason, is solid throughout even though her chemistry with Sudeikis is extremely forced. Will Poulter is lots of fun while Emma Roberts comes across as nondescript in an underwritten role. We’re The Millers isn’t going to be considered a classic but it’s the perfect kind of comedy for a lazy afternoon.

B-