MOVIE REVIEW: MADAME WEB

 

Cassandra Webb is a New York City paramedic who starts to show signs of clairvoyance. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she must protect three young women from a mysterious adversary who wants them dead.

Director: S.J. Clarkson

Cast: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O'Connor, Isabela Merced, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott

Release Date: February 14, 2024 

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Rated PG-13 for violence/action and language.

Runtime: 1h 54m

Review:

Madame Web arrives onscreen barely registering a pulse thanks to a bland script and a cast that's as disinterested as the audience.  S.J. Clarkson does her best to give this low rent version of Edge of Tomorrow some life early on but using inventive angles and shots during some of the action sequences.  There are small slivers of energy, especially early, but once the film goes into an endless cycle of repetition which kills any sense of momentum or entertainment.  Those hoping for some mindless superhero action will be sorely disappointed since the majority of that occurs in a flash forward which the film never occurs in the actual film, leaving this film as nothing more than set up for a future installment.  Instead, the film follows Dakota Johnson's Cassandra Webb kidnap/rescue the trio of Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O'Connor and Isabela Merced and chaperon them around before abandoning them for an impromptu day trip to Peru.  It’s all rather nonsensical and illogical which might be goofy if any of the cast put any sort of effort into their performances.  Johnson leads the cast with one of the more uninspired performances in a big budget film in recent memory.  Her consistently monotone line delivery makes it feel like we are watching rehearsal footage instead of the final cut.  That energy runs across her supporting cast  who are saddled with the most generic clichés of early 2000's teenage girls.  It’s so painfully bad that you wouldn't be surprised if they randomly started singing Spice Girls song just to drive the point home about the live action Brats dolls assembled.  Tahar Rahim doesn't fair much better as the film's sort of evil Spider-man from the dollar store with his stilted delivery that makes Johnson look inspired in comparison.  Madame Web is a mess of a film that commits a variety of sins which would be forgivable if it wasn't so incredibly boring.

D-

MOVIE REVIEW: NAPOLEON

 

A look at the military commander's origins and his swift, ruthless climb to emperor, viewed through the prism of his addictive and often volatile relationship with his wife and one true love, Josephine.

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Joaquin Phoenix, Vanessa Kirby, Edouard Philipponnat, Rupert Everett, Matthew Needham, Cormac Hyde-Corrin, Anna Mawn, Tahar Rahim

Release Date: November 22, 2023

Genre: Action, Adventure, Biography, Drama, History, War

Rated R for strong violence, some grisly images, sexual content and brief language

Runtime: 2h 38m

Ridley Scott's Napoleon is a lavishly crafted historical epic with strong turns from its leads but there's a disconnect from its central subject that keeps it from being a truly compelling film.  Scott's steady hand delivers a series of wonderfully shot moments with his prowess at large scale action on full display here with a collection of carnage filled sequences which are easily the high points of the film.  That shouldn't come as surprise to anyone familiar with the legendary auteur's extensive resume but the film never truly finds its footing whenever its off the battlefield.  In those quieter moments the film tries to balance its central love story and Napoleon's rise to power with varying levels of effectiveness.  The script paints Napoleon as a boorish and clumsy in its deconstruction of the man sometimes to darkly comedic effect. While it avoids some of the more clichéd approaches to its central figure, it also keeps the audience at arms length from his psyche and never granting us a window into his inner machinations.  The script paints him as ambitious but show him falling into power more as a result of others doing than his own drive.  Joaquin Phoenix brings what he can to role with his natural talent but he's mostly asked to stare blankly at people with occasional fits of anger sprinkled throughout.  Phoenix's understated line deliver works in smaller moments but we never get any bigger sequence that makes you believe his troops would follow him to their own ruin, something driven home during a late stage stand off sequence.  Vanessa Kirby fares a bit better as Josephine but script issues keeps her character and ultimately their relationship resonate the way it should.  The film rushes through their meeting and courtship so the audience never gets a true sense of whether its a transaction relationship or one based on actual affection.  There's a tangible sense that Phoenix and Kirby could do so much more with these characters if they'd had a better script to work with since their scenes together feel disjointed.  Its an issue that keeps the film from finding any sort of rhythm which makes the two hour and a half film feel far longer than its actual runtime.  The proposed four hour cut of the film might smooth some of these issues but the theatrical cut of Napoleon is a missed opportunity which stays afloat mostly due to the talent behind and in front of the camera.  

B-

MOVIE REVIEWS: THE EAGLE

IN THEATERS

THE EAGLE



Academy Award-winning director Kevin MacDonald re-teams with The Last King of Scotland screenwriter Jeremy Brock for this historical epic set in second century Britain and following young centurion Marcus Aquila on his quest to solve the mystery of the missing Ninth Legion. The year is 135 A.D. It's been 15 years since the Ninth Legion went missing in the mountains of Scotland, and it's up to Marcus Aquila (Channing Tatum) to find out what happened. His own father was the commander of the Ninth, and by discovering what fate befell the fearless leader, Aquila could restore his failing reputation. Crossing Hadrian's Wall and navigating the treacherous highlands of Caledonia won't be easy though, especially since Aquila's only traveling companion is his British slave, Esca (Jamie Bell). Along the way, Aquila will attempt to make peace with his father's memory as he and Esca confront the savage tribes of the land and attempt to recover the lost legion's golden emblem -- the treasured Eagle of the North. Donald Sutherland and Mark Strong fill out the rest of the starring cast. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Release Date: Feb 11, 2011

Rated PG-13 Battle sequences and some disturbing images

Runtime: 1 hr. 54 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Director: Kevin Macdonald

Cast: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, Tahar Rahim, Denis O'Hare

Review:

The Eagle is on one of those films that suffers from being released in the wake of a much better, if little seen, film about the same subject matter handled in a much better fashion with better actor. Neil Marshall’s Centurion was fantastic bloody period piece and compared to that The Eagle is a pale soulless facsimile. Kevin Macdonald clumsily directs this unfocused endeavor which meanders and never really allows you to invest in the characters or the storyline. Worse yet, Macdonald can’t direct action very well with all the action shot in extreme close up, making it incredibly difficult to figure out what’s going on during the infrequent action scenes. The story carries all the emotional weight of a pillowcase. Channing Tatum has zero screen presence and even disappears during big chunks of the film. Jamie Bell does most of the heavy lifting and he does the best he can with a hackney script that occasionally borders on homoerotic. It’s not a total failure but just not worth your time when there is a much better iteration of the subject matter. Do yourself a favor skip this one and rent Centurion especially since it’s not neutered with a PG-13 rating.

C-