MOVIE REVIEW: MADAME WEB

 

Cassandra Webb is a New York City paramedic who starts to show signs of clairvoyance. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she must protect three young women from a mysterious adversary who wants them dead.

Director: S.J. Clarkson

Cast: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O'Connor, Isabela Merced, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott

Release Date: February 14, 2024 

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Rated PG-13 for violence/action and language.

Runtime: 1h 54m

Review:

Madame Web arrives onscreen barely registering a pulse thanks to a bland script and a cast that's as disinterested as the audience.  S.J. Clarkson does her best to give this low rent version of Edge of Tomorrow some life early on but using inventive angles and shots during some of the action sequences.  There are small slivers of energy, especially early, but once the film goes into an endless cycle of repetition which kills any sense of momentum or entertainment.  Those hoping for some mindless superhero action will be sorely disappointed since the majority of that occurs in a flash forward which the film never occurs in the actual film, leaving this film as nothing more than set up for a future installment.  Instead, the film follows Dakota Johnson's Cassandra Webb kidnap/rescue the trio of Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O'Connor and Isabela Merced and chaperon them around before abandoning them for an impromptu day trip to Peru.  It’s all rather nonsensical and illogical which might be goofy if any of the cast put any sort of effort into their performances.  Johnson leads the cast with one of the more uninspired performances in a big budget film in recent memory.  Her consistently monotone line delivery makes it feel like we are watching rehearsal footage instead of the final cut.  That energy runs across her supporting cast  who are saddled with the most generic clichés of early 2000's teenage girls.  It’s so painfully bad that you wouldn't be surprised if they randomly started singing Spice Girls song just to drive the point home about the live action Brats dolls assembled.  Tahar Rahim doesn't fair much better as the film's sort of evil Spider-man from the dollar store with his stilted delivery that makes Johnson look inspired in comparison.  Madame Web is a mess of a film that commits a variety of sins which would be forgivable if it wasn't so incredibly boring.

D-

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of The Good Dinosaur and Krampus

 

Dearest Blog: After a weekend on the town, yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to make up for lost time with The Good Dinosaur and Krampus.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up: The Good Dinosaur.

A young dinosaur learns to face his fears.

There's no getting around it: The Good Dinosaur is kind of a stinker. Animation doesn't always have to be game-changing--I mean, I quickly forgave a sub-par outing from our little yellow friends the Minions because they're adorable--but I feel like it should at least be cute and fun. 

The problem with The Good Dinosaur is there's almost nothing to like, and certainly nothing to like enough to make amends for what's not to like. The characters aren't cute at all, and the voices--though they include mighty talents like Sam Elliott and Frances McDormand--nearly annoyed me right out of the room. 

Outside of some nifty water effects, the artwork and animation are ho-hum, and the movie's message is heavy-handed. Sadly, The Good Dinosaur was about the least-enjoyable time I've had at the movies this year.

The Good Dinosaur runs 93 minutes and is rated PG for, "peril, action, and thematic elements." The film is accompanied by a trippy little short called Sanjay's Super-Team, which adds about seven minutes to the total runtime.

Gotta be honest: while watching The Good Dinosaur, I was rooting for the asteroid. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The good Dinosaur gets two.

Next on the day's schedule, the holiday horror-comedy Krampus.

A family pays the price for having lost the true spirit of Christmas.

Unless I have an ulterior motive (read: one of my favorite actors has a role), I seldom bother with horror movies, as I almost always find them stupid and not at all scary.  

Benefitting from a fun trailer and a weak schedule of new releases, Krampus became the exception to my rule, and I'm pleased to report I didn't have reason to regret it.

There are no A-Listers, but Krampus boasts a great cast and the performances are quite good. Kid actors can be hit or miss, but the adorable Emjay Anthony is a nice surprise in what essentially amounts to the lead. 

If I was never really scared, the movie still does a great job of maintaining tension, and the monsters are genuinely creepy. In fact, the entire look of the film is exquisite, from the festive holiday decor to cold, snowy exteriors, to some pretty badass baddies. 

The laughs are equally solid and well timed, making Krampus a truly entertaining outing.

Krampus clocks in at 98 minutes, and is rated PG13 for, "sequences of horror violence/terror, language, and some drug material."

It may never become *that* classic you watch with grandma every Christmas Eve, but Krampus is good holiday fun. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Krampus gets six.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: BACHELORETTE

ON DEMAND IN THEATERS

BACHELORETTE



Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, and Lizzy Caplan star in this comedy about three dysfunctional friends who attempt to leave the past behind while serving as bridesmaids at the wedding of a woman they mocked mercilessly back in high school. As teenagers, Regan (Dunst), Gena (Caplan), and Katie (Fisher) used to call Becky (Rebel Wilson) "Pig Face." Years later, Becky is about to tie the knot and asks her taunting former classmates to join the wedding party. And though Regan is determined to give Becky the ultimate bachelorette bash, tart-tongued Gena has already started partying hard well before the big night, and capricious Katie seems to have her head stuck in the clouds. Later, as the ladies cut loose and the booze begins to flow, a mishap with the wedding dress sends the entire event spiraling out of control, leading to a wild night of debauchery that nobody will ever forget. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Leslye Headland

Cast: Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan, James Marsden, Adam Scott.

Release Date: Sep 07, 2012

Rated R for Drug Use, Sexual Content and Pervasive Language

Runtime: 1 hr. 33 min.

Genres: Comedy

Review:

Bachelorette is a darkly comedic film that deals with enough dramatics to make for a choppy feel. Writer/Director Leslye Headland peppers her film with enough vitriol to her dramaedy to leave an impression. Her three leads are generally dislikable and overall fairly terrible human beings. Luckily they are played impressively by strong comedic actresses who keep them from being utterly off putting. Kirsten Dunst delivers fine work as the ice queen head of the group. The always dependable Lizzy Caplan and her deadpan delivery make her character more interesting than she actually is. Isla Fisher is still rather adorable as a damaged ditz who bra size is bigger than her IQ. Rebel Wilson is fairly underused and Marsden and Scott mostly relegated to the sidelines. Scott is given the meatiest of the supporting roles with Caplan (a nice Party Down reunion). Leslye shoots an interesting film and directs her actresses with impressive command. Her biggest issue is finding a good rhythm to the film. It never finds a steady feel. It hits its best most consistent marks during its second and final acts. Outside of that the laughs are a bit sparse. The finale feels unearned and too tidy for the characters and general madness involved. Still it’s a film that’s probably closer to The Hangover than Bridesmaid if not nearly as consistent as either of those films.

B-

TV SHOW REVIEW: PARTY DOWN: SEASON 1 and 2 DVD

Synopsis: A group of actors move to LA to make it big, but end up working as caterers.

Cast: Adam Scott, Ken Marino, Ryan Hansen, Martin Starr, Lizzy Caplan, Megan Mullally, Jane Lynch

REVIEW:

Party Down is the type of show that leaves you wondering why it didn’t get a long run than it did. Sadly there are only 20 episodes of this hidden gem that showcases some excellent comedic talents from people who’ve moved on to bigger things. First and foremost you can’t walk away from this series without a new found appreciation of Adam Scott, presently working on the excellent Parks and Recreation. Scott’s is perfect straight man to cast of misfits. His reaction and delivery is just spot on throughout the series. Lizzy Caplan also shines as his primary love interest. Caplan just captures the Gen X sensibility so well I’m almost positive it’s not an act. She and Scott have great chemistry together and while the “will they won’t” isn’t anything new to sitcoms it’s never really a hindrance here. Ken Marino gets to stretch his comedic legs a bit as his character undergoes the biggest changes throughout the series. Ryan Hansen and Martin Starr are both solid as secondary characters which each getting moments to shine through. Jane Lynch is gold in her limited run, before Glee came a calling. Jennifer Coolidge replaces her for a short run, probably a good thing as her character could have gotten grating, and then Megan Mullaly takes over the better part of the 2nd season. Mullaly takes a little while to settle in but she fits right in by the second half of the season. The 2nd season does experience a bit of a rocky start, mainly because some of the dynamics have changed from the 1st along with new characters coming in. Its take while for them to hit their stride but they do with hilarious results. By the end of the 20th episode you’ll be forgiven to feel a bit disappointed that it’s over but it’ll be quickly replaced by a desire to watch the whole thing again.

B

MOVIE REVIEWS: PIRANHA 3D

IN THEATERS

PIRANHA 3D



Haute Tension and Hills Have Eyes director Alexandre Aja pays homage to the films that made him fall in love with the horror genre by helming this comedic remake of director Joe Dante's 1978 Jaws parody. Lake Victoria may look peaceful, but beneath the placid waters of this painterly lake lurks a deadly menace. A powerful underwater tremor has released scores of man-eating prehistoric fish into the waters, and now it's up to a group of unlikely heroes to band together and defeat the razor-toothed predators. With time running out and the aquatic carnivores taking over, one brave heroine (Elisabeth Shue) will risk everything to save the lake and prevent her family from becoming fish food. Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Jerry O'Connell, and Adam Scott star in the Dimension Films production. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Alexandre Aja

Cast: Elisabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Jessica Szohr.

Release Date: Aug 20, 2010

Rated: Sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, language and some drug use

Runtime: 1 hr. 29 min.

Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

Roger Corman’s sole direction when he produced the original B-movie classic Piranha was “More blood...” The low budget original filled that bill capably and while Alexandre Aja’s redux shares little, outside of the titular fish, in common with the original he does keep the spirit of it alive in all its gory goodness. His remake is filled with enough blood, gore and full frontal nudity to appease even the most cynical of horror fans. Aja moves his film at an incredibly fast pace staging some of the larger scenes of carnage with a precise technical eye but never losing the sight of the fun of the entire endeavor. His film is classic B-movie goodness, something that’s become a lost art. He finds that perfect mix of the exploitive, an egregiously long fully nude underwater ballet is a prime example, and visceral excess. Nothing is ever taken very serious, the cast plays it mostly straight with only the slightest of a wink, enough to let you know they are very aware of the kind of film they are making. Elisabeth Shue is given the unenviable job of trying to carry some semblance of a story and she does a fine job while displaying a nicely toned physique. Steven R. McQueen plays a fairly paint by the number goofy kid in love character and is mostly forgettable. Everyone else, from the good natured cameos to porn stars are pretty much cannon fodder for the meat grinder. Once the carnage starts its keeps going till the end but once it ended I could help wondering or maybe wishing that Aja pushed the envelope a little bit further. Perhaps that speaks more to my general blood lust.

B-

The 3D doesn’t make nearly the impression it should and mostly feel unnecessary.

Alexander Aja’s PIRANHA 3-D 9 min bootleg footage

9 mins of crazy bloody footage filled with gore and nudity.....NSFW

The original movie was always a childhood favorite of mine, don't ask, and this one looks like it might have just captured the spirit of it....