Struggling actress Mia (Emma Stone) and aspiring jazz pianist Sebastian
(Ryan Gosling) begin a whirlwind romance as they both pursue their dreams in Los
Angeles. However, their blossoming relationship is
challenged when their careers pull them in different directions. Damien
Chazelle (Damien Chazelle) wrote and directed this musical love story, which
co-stars John Legend, J.K. Simmons, and Rosemarie DeWitt. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: Damien Chazelle
Cast: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, John Legend, Finn
Wittrock, J.K. Simmons
Release Date: Dec
09, 2016
Rated PG-13 for some Language
Runtime: 2 hr. 7 min.
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Music/Performing Arts
Review:
La La Land is a rousing bit of filmmaking which is as
fizzy and bubbly as the best champagne.Like said champagne, it is a bit light on body.Instead Damien Chazelle dresses up his retro
musical with impressive shots and flashy choreography.It’s an incredibly fun film, especially in
the first 2 acts, with two magnetic leads.Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone bring a dizzying sense of adorableness to
their roles.You can’t help but get
sucked into this love story as their relationship begins to blossom and
grow.It’s an engrossing experience but
once you peel back all the frills it’s a pretty bare bones love story tinged
with a palatable sense of bitter sweetness.Still it’s a credit to Damien Chazelle that he could take a simple story
and infuse so much energy and passion into it.Is it the best film I’ve ever seen, not even close, but it’s a still
fine piece of film making.
Dearest Blog: After missing out last week, this weekend it was off to Marquee Cinemas for four--yes, FOUR--big-screen blasts.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know or have guessed from the trailers.
First on my agenda: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.
Alice makes a last(ish) stand against the Umbrella Corporation.
With this ostensibly "final" chapter of Resident Evil coming so quickly on the heels of Underworld's potential finale, for me it was inevitable to draw comparisons between the two badass-broad-fronted movies. I think Resident Evil comes up on the short end, but it's still a fun watch.
Like Underworld: Blood Wars, RE6 kicks off with a refresher on how we got to where we are. In both cases, this proved a waste of time. These movies do a good enough job of (over)explaining themselves as they go along that a person wouldn't be too lost to enjoy, regardless of what he did or didn't remember. It's to Milla Jovovich's benefit that acting chops are immaterial, as she acrobatically faces off with living and undead. Iain Glen is about as subtle a baddie as Snidely Whiplash. Though it's hard, these days, not to see him as the perpetually-friendzoned Ser Jorah Mormont, he does his best to prove himself a Wicked, Wicked Person here. The 2D effects are nothing to write home about, and certainly nothing to recommend the 3D upcharge and headache. There's some nice disaster footage (think Deepwater Horizon, if everybody hated the undead instead of the planet), and some truly wacky stunts, but much of the action is so dark all you can do is cross your fingers and hope your favorite character is still standing when it finally gets light again. Clumsy storytelling makes the film feel overlong. There's a nice thank-you message from director and star before the show, and, if it turns out this really is The End, it's a satisfying--if hokey--finish.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter runs 106 minutes and is rated R for "sequences of violence throughout."
The premise is less interesting and the cast less enjoyable than Underworld, but Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is big, dumb fun. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter gets four.
Next on the docket, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage.
The original Triple X is back in business.
Well, dear reader(s)... Now. We. Are. Talking. Were you in the market for a great, fun actioner? Well, you found it! xXx: The Return of Xander Cage is filled with absurd stunts, good-natured humor, pretty faces, and hardbodies all 'round. The plot obviously won't tax those little grey cells too much, but there are a few nice surprises wrapped around edge-of-your-seat action and a truly likable cast. And did I mention ridiculous stunts? Over the top in the most fun way. Vin Diesel knows his niche as well as any actor, and, while there may come a day when I no longer get a kick out of watching him do what he does, it is not this day.
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage clocks in at 107 minutes and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and for sexual material."
It's not brain surgery, but The Return of Xander Cage is about as much fun as I can imagine having at the cinema. Of a possible nine Weasleys, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage gets seven.
Movie Catchup Day Two kicked off with Gold.
Against all odds, a down-on-his-luck prospector and a geologist strike gold in Indonesia.
Initially, Gold appeared to be another potential awards goldmine (see what I did there?) for Matthew McConaughey, but his loony performance doesn't help this too-talky tale get off the ground. McConaughey underwent another extreme physical transformation to portray Kenny Wells, a doughy dude with a receding hairline, and nothing says "Oscar bait" like a handsome actor who looks nothing like himself in a based-on-a-true-story role. Sadly, neither the performance nor the picture is very memorable, and Wells' appearance is played mostly for mean-spirited laughs. Edgar Ramirez is the film's highlight, understated as Wells' partner Michael Acosta. The picture moves slowly and is never really that interesting, thanks to unlikable characters and twists that can be seen a mile out. Ultimately it's a nasty little tale about greed and willful cluelessness, The Wolf of Wall Street without the gripping relevance.
Gold runs 121 minutes and is rated R for "language throughout and some sexuality/nudity."
Gold is a dull, disappointing movie with little to recommend it. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Gold gets four.
Fangirl points: An Iron Maiden t-shirt is pretty prominent in one important scene. This is not a drill: an Iron Maiden t-shirt is in the movie!
The final installment on the weekend's busy schedule: Oscar hopeful Lion.
A young man who was lost as a child in India, then adopted by an Australian couple, searches for his birth family.
Lion is a moving true story of love and, if we're being honest, not a little good fortune. The film points out that over 80,000 children go missing in India each year, but this is a story about one of the lucky ones. Lost and miles from home, Saroo faces many threats to his well-being before being adopted by a childless, loving Australian couple. The setup drags on too long, and, for my money, the film would have been better served if it were trimmed a bit and/or spent more time on the young man's search for his birth family and less on the travails of his younger self. Having said that, newcomer Sunny Pawar is delightful and absolutely heartbreaking as the younger Saroo, owning the screen like a seasoned pro. Early scenes of his time on the streets are tense and uncomfortable, but effective. Nicole Kidman and David Wenham are almost too good to be true as the boy's adoptive parents, challenges touched on but mostly airbrushed like an unfortunate wrinkle before botox. (Sorry, Nicole.) As grownup Saroo delves ever more deeply into his search, Dev Patel is brilliant; eager and terrified, desperate for information, but hiding his intent from even those who might be able to help. It's a testament to the power of this story that, in an age where everyone seems to have forgotten how to behave appropriately at the cinema, there was nary a peep from my audience for the duration.
Lion clocks in at 118 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic material and some sensuality."
Lion is a sobering but uplifting tale of love and luck. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Lion gets seven.
An outing takes a sinister turn for three teenage friends (Anya Taylor-Joy,
Haley Lu Richardson, and Jessica Sula) when they are kidnapped by a ruthless
stranger (James McAvoy) and imprisoned in his basement. They soon learn that their
captor has multiple-personality disorder, forcing them to plot their escape
without ever knowing which of his 23 personas -- young or old, male or female,
benign or monstrous -- they will confront on the way out. Written and directed
by M. Night Shyamalan. ~ Violet LeVoit, Rovi
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Cast: James McAvoy, Anya Taylor-Joy, Betty Buckley, Haley
Lu Richardson, Brad William Henke,
Sebastian Arcelus
Release Date: Jan
20, 2017
Rated PG-13 for Some Language, Disturbing Thematic
Content, Disturbing Behavior and Violence
Runtime: 1 hr. 57 min.
Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller
Review:
M. Night Shyamalan hasn’t made a good movie in a long
long while.I’ve personally found him to
be one of the most frustrating and annoying directors in recent memory.Typically his films have an interesting
premise but he can’t help but show us exactly how clever he thinks he is.Spilt suffers from similar issues.Shyamalan is helped greatly by some stellar
performances from James McAvoy and Anya Taylor-Joy.McAvoy is fully committed to the role and its
fun watching him switch through personalities with incredible ease.McAvoy’s role is the center piece but Anya
Taylor-Joy is nearly as impressive in a more subtle role.Taylor-Joy continues to impress after her
star making turn in last years The Witch.She displays some impressive talent that bodes well for her in the
future.Sadly, both performances can’t
save a messily made child abuse allegory.In a better filmmaker’s hand, this could have been a special film that
could have really taken advantage of the strong performances.Instead Shyamalan delivers a heavy handed
child abuse parable all the while sexualizing his young stars with some
outright creepy shots and plot devices.Like
every M. Night Shyamalan there’s a twist and a pointless cameo by the
director.The twist is entirely
inorganic and comes entirely out of left field, its sole purpose is to remind
audiences that Shyamalan made decent films a long time ago.
Dearest Blog: This weekend it was off to Marquee Cinemas for La La Land (finally!) and Live By Night.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. I will offer thumbs-up or thumbs-down on endings, without divulging specifics; if that's more than you want to know, read no further until you've seen these.
First up: Oscar hopeful La La Land.
An aspiring actress and a jazz musician chase their dreams in Los Angeles.
Let it be noted, dear reader(s), that, from its first trailer, I've anticipated La La Land as a great movie and likely Best Picture winner. I generally love musicals, and--while romances aren't my favorite--who could resist a pairing as adorable as Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling? Certainly not I! Well...as it turns out, La La Land IS a great movie, and the probable Best Picture winner...but it's a lousy musical.
Getting the bad news out of the way first: La La Land features forgettable original tunes and unimaginative choreography. Neither Gosling nor Stone is a great singer, at least not as demonstrated here. (Stone has done Broadway, so I know she has to be better than this.) The musical numbers are exactly why some folks hate musicals: random songs dropped in mostly random places; there's no flow whatsoever. Finally, the movie has a disappointing finale that's so at odds with the rest it feels as if someone accidentally tacked on the ending of a different film. As La La Land's final impression, it casts a heavy shadow on the whole. (This is not a judgment of a happy or unhappy ending; it's about how the ending fits the rest of the picture.)
Having said all that, the good news is, there's lots of good news! La La Land is a compelling enough story that its musical failings are almost entirely forgivable. Stone and Gosling manage to out-cute Lawrence and Pratt as the movie year's most lovable couple, a feat I would have thought impossible. Remarkably, their weak singing voices play as part of a self-deprecating charm, and their characters' struggles and dreams should be relatable to just about anyone. La La Land boasts lovely production design and costumes, and there is one smokin' number, performed by John Legend, that even manages to break the movie's tired-old-showtunes mold.
La La Land clocks in at 128 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some language."
La La Land is a very good movie, a terrible musical, and a love letter to Los Angeles that fails to sell Los Angeles as anything worth loving.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, La La Land gets seven.
Next on the docket: Ben Affleck's mob thriller Live by Night.
A Boston mobster takes over Florida operations for a former rival.
By now you've probably heard enough negative commentary to guess Live by Night won't go down in the annals of legendary gangster movies. While that's probably true, that's not to say it isn't a worthwhile afternoon at the pictures.
Writer/director Affleck has created an interesting--if deliberately paced--story full of twists and turns. Per usual, he's crafted himself a role that plays to his stoic style and, while he does an admirable job, it's Sienna Miller who steals the show as his sometime girlfriend. If you're into mob movies in general, there are some...erm...offers people can't refuse, but the violence isn't overly graphic, and the movie never feels like a shoot 'em up where the story only occasionally interrupts.
Live by Night runs 128 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, language throughout, and some sexuality/nudity."
Live by Night may not rank among the all-time great gangster pictures, but it's a well-executed tale with a satisfying payout.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Live by Night gets six and a half.
Fangirl points: Christian Clemenson! Brendan Gleeson! Titus Welliver!
A young boy (Lewis MacDougall) befriends a wise tree monster (voiced by Liam
Neeson) while coping with bullying and the terminal illness of his mother
(Felicity Jones). He moves in with his grandmother (Sigourney Weaver) as his
mom's condition deteriorates, and uses his imagination and friendship with the
monster to escape reality. J.A. Bayona (The Impossible) directed this fantasy
drama. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: Juan Antonio Bayona
Cast: Felicity Jones, Sigourney Weaver, Liam Neeson, Toby
Kebbell, Ben Moor, Lewis MacDougall
Release Date: Dec
23, 2016
Rated PG-13 for Thematic Content and Some Scary Images
Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min.
Genres: Drama, Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review:
Juan Antonio Bayona’s A Monster Calls is an interesting
fantasy parable with a very human message.Bayona crafts together a beautifully gothic tale with some impressive
visual flourishes peppered in throughout.Its pace is decidedly measured and methodical throughout.It might be a turnoff to some because it does
move at snail’s pace during large portions of the film.The monster and his tales are wonderfully
animated through lush water colored animation which is as striking as it is
effective. The cast lead by Lewis MacDougall is stellar through out and you’d
think with the bigger names in the film, MacDougall might get lost in the
shuffle but he never does. He turns in an impressive performance filled with
melancholy and visible pain.Its finale
delivers a simple and
straightforward lesson but do so with a strong emotional
punch sure to leave many in tears.
Death dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) must fend off brutal attacks from both
the Lycan clan and the vampire faction that betrayed her. Joining forces with
allies David (Theo James) and Thomas (Peter Andersson), she embarks on a quest
to end the eternal war between the two races, even if it means making the
ultimate sacrifice.
Director: Anna Foerster
Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Charles Dance, Tobias
Menzies
Release Date: Jan
06, 2017
Rated R f or strong bloody violence, and some sexuality
Runtime: 1 hr. 31 min.
Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror
Review:
Underworld: Blood Wars is exactly what you would expect
from this 5th entry into the on going franchise.Kate Beckinsale slips back into her latex bodysuit
with relative ease but the film’s biggest failing is taking her off screen for
large chunks of time to deal with an unnecessarily convoluted plot.While Game of Throne alums, Charles Dance and
Tobias Menzies, are welcome additions to the series, Beckinsale is the reason
people turn out to these films.Anna
Foerster delivers the same stylish wire work action people have come to expect
and I appreciate that she’s trying to deliver a meatier plot.Unfortunately, she loses sight of the fact
that this series has always been a solid B movie franchise with a singular
star.Losing focus on Beckinsale’s
Selene is a major misstep and severely limits how enjoyable this film is.
Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a pair of unlikely bedfellows: Hidden Figures and Underworld: Blood Wars.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
First up: Hidden Figures.
A trio of female, African-American mathematicians helps put America's first man in orbit.
Things you've probably guessed about Hidden Figures: It boasts excellent performances from Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and a noteworthy supporting cast, and tells a compelling story about some unsung heroes of the early space race. Something you might not have guessed: Hidden Figures is actually a lot of fun, like, legitimate, ear-to-ear smiling fun. That's not to say the movie is without its disturbing and serious moments--the early sixties weren't a super-easy time for women or people of color in these United States--but overall I am shocked by how entertaining this picture is. Hidden Figures goes light on the math-ey details (thank goodness) and instead presents a lively tale of three determined ladies who changed the face of the nation for the better and forever. Cut with snippets of historical footage, the movie provides a timely and important message about the harmfulness of prejudice, the value of everyone's contributions, and, yes, even the importance of the right bathroom facilities.
Hidden Figures runs 127 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic elements and some language."
Hidden Figures sheds welcome light on a little-known bit of American history in uplifting fashion, kicking off 2017 in fine form. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hidden Figures gets seven and a half.
Fangirl Points: Taraji (one of my best girl-crushes), and Aldis Hodge!
Next on the docket: Underworld: Blood Wars.
Betrayed by her own kind, a world-weary Selene is drawn back into the Vampire/Lycan war.
The most recent Underworld installment has a cheap television feel to it, right down to the "previously on..." segment that kicks it off. The story is unimaginative, with dialogue straight out of a 14-year-old's AO3 fanfic, BUT...you officially may file this movie under "so awful it's almost great." The rehash of previous installments is a waste of time--you wouldn't have trouble following this empty-headed nonsense even if you'd never seen an Underworld movie before--and the picture suffers a few dull spells where the lovely Kate Beckinsale is nowhere to be found. Theo James does the best he can with his silly, underwritten role, and Bradley James is a brooding highlight who appears poised to carry the franchise forward, should anyone feel that's really necessary. Blood Wars has a properly gloomy look and feel, with a melodramatic score and a good deal of stylized, slow-mo action, but it's always a bit disappointing when flippin' vampires and flippin' werewolves end up taking each other out with plain old handguns. Highlight/lowlight of Blood Wars: A Vampire Elder, in all his gravitas, sends off one of his warriors with a smirk and a smack on the ass, just like your garden-variety first-base coach.
Underworld: Blood Wars clocks in at 91 minutes and is rated R for "strong, bloody violence and some sexuality."
Blood Wars is dopey fun, as unnecessary a sequel as ever there was. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Underworld: Blood Wars gets five.
Fangirl Points: Theo James, ever since he had deadly relations with Lady Mary Crawley!
In the immediate aftermath of the assassination of President John F.
Kennedy, his wife Jacqueline Kennedy (Natalie Portman) deals with her immense
grief while making plans for his funeral procession. Confiding in her close
friend and secretary Nancy Tuckerman (Greta Gerwig), as well as her
brother-in-law Robert Kennedy (Peter Sarsgaard), Jackie tries to care for her
young family as a bereaved nation watches on. Pablo Larrain directed this
nonlinear biopic. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi
Director: Pablo
Larrain
Cast: Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Greta Gerwig,
Billy Crudup, Beth Grant.
Release Date: Dec
02, 2016
Rated for R some Language and Brief Strong Violence
Runtime: 1 hr. 39 min.
Genres: Documentary
Review:
Pablo Larrain’s fascinating biopic about Jackie Kennedy
is an incredibly power piece of filmmaking.It’s a disorienting movie that takes you through the throws of grief on
a personal level.Natalie Portman is
pitch perfect as the titular first lady.It’s a deeply layered performance throughout.Portman is able to go through so many
psychological levels with impressive ease.It’s a multilayered performance covers everything from grief, public persona
and legacy building all rolled into one.Larrain’s film isn’t your typical biopic in that it’s also concerned
with myth making and how history can be created or skewed.It’s a dense bit of story telling filled with
excellent performances all around.
Dearest Blog: Here we sit, on the first square of the first page of a brand new calendar. Last year will be remembered for extraordinary losses--in both number and impact--but there were good times to be had at the cinema, almost always.
What follows will hopefully remind you, dear reader(s), of some of those good times...and maybe some of the other times too.
Disclaimer #1: Around here most of the awards contenders turn up all at once, for a single week, just before the Oscars. The Academy and I sometimes (*cough*) don't see eye to eye, but it's fair to guess this list would look at least a little different if I'd seen La La Land, Manchester by the Sea, Nocturnal Animals, Moonlight, and/or Lion, to name just a few.
Disclaimer #2: A movie's original Weasley score will not necessarily be reflected in its year-end positioning. Time and repeat screenings (or the lack of opportunity for same) may favor or handicap some films.
So...let's start with the good, then, shall we?
My Top 10 Movies of 2016
"The soul of our country is at stake."
10. The Purge: Election YearThe third outing in the Purge series didn't quite match its nearly-perfect middle installment, but timely subject matter, stunning visuals, and another strong leading turn by Frank Grillo make Election Year one of 2016's best offerings.
"God doesn't have children. He's a bachelor. And very angry!"
9. Hail, Caesar!Behind-the-scenes machinations at a 1950s movie studio drive this clever comedy from the Coen brothers, blessed with a terrific all-star cast and some wonderful choreography by Tony Award winner Christopher Gattelli.
"It is time to follow my own path."
8. Kubo and the Two Strings2016 was a super year for animation. Moana, Sing, Finding Dory, and even the Secret Life of Pets could have made a run at this list, but, in the end, beautiful storytelling, combined with stunning and unique art, set Kubo and the Two Strings head and shoulders above the rest. Bonus: Regina Spektor's lovely cover of the Beatles' While My Guitar Gently Weeps over the end credits.
"I've killed things from other worlds before."
7. Batman v. Superman
Yeah, Internet, you hated it; I got that, but I absolutely loved DC's much-maligned Justice League opening act. The baddies were well and properly bad, the good guys were brooding, and the story effectively laid the groundwork for what's to come. Ben Affleck's Batman/Bruce Wayne was universally praised, and if you thought BVS was humorless...well...you just weren't paying attention. ("I like those shoes!")
"I never met nobody got away with anything, ever."
6. Hell or High WaterThis masterful little heist tale is blessed with stellar peformances, a compelling story, and one of the more satisfying and perfectly-suited endings I've ever seen. Do. Not. Miss.
"You're different. Sooner or later, different scares people."
5. The AccountantBen Affleck was kinda the highlight of my 2016 cinema year, following his perfect Batman with a strong, authentic turn as a socially-awkward mathematical genius in this mesmerizing thriller.
"Fear of death is what keeps us alive."
4. Star Trek Beyond
The latest installment in Hollywood's best franchise may well be its most fun yet. The story's exciting, the one-liners always hit the mark, and the ensemble is my favorite of any film franchise. (RIP, dear Anton Yelchin.)
"So far, so good."
3. The Magnificent Seven
The Magnificent Seven remake is a rare beast in today's Hollywoodland. It's an old-school Western. It doesn't shoehorn in a romance, bloat itself with never-ending fight or chase scenes, or attempt to set up a sequel. The film boasts gorgeous cinematography, a perfect cast, and well-timed, genuinely funny humor. The very definition of "must see."
"We were normal, and the rest of the world was crazy."
2. The Beatles: Eight Days a Week-The Touring Years
Eight Days a Week is a cheerful look at the early days of the world's biggest, best, and most influential band. It's a nice reminder that John, Paul, George, and Ringo are more than monumentally talented individuals; first and foremost, they're four pals who thought they could make a go of their little band and got caught up in a tornado of worldwide superstardom. Peppered with snippets of their magical tunes, behind-the-scenes clips, and interviews with the four lads and assorted others who experienced Beatlemania firsthand, Eight Days a Week is a joyous experience.
"I had to question the mermaids! What were you doing while I was working?"
1. The Nice GuysFrom its first trailer, The Nice Guys very nearly cemented a place on my ALL-TIME favorites list, and the finished product more than lived up to that promise, earning it the year's top spot. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling are brilliant as a pair of mismatched private investigators on the trail of a missing girl. This is a movie that ticks all the boxes: fantastic performances, exciting action, a smart, surprising mystery, and spot-on humor...an all-'round perfect cinema experience. I'm confident even the most-favored of the critical darlings could not have knocked this one out of my number-one spot.
Movies It Hurt Me to Leave Out (Honorable Mentions)
Eddie the Eagle: A fun, fictionalized story about English Olympian Eddie Edwards, with entertaining performances by Taron Edgerton and Hugh Jackman.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-Out of the Shadows: The most fun I had at the movies this year, and something I've watched over and over again since getting the DVD.
Bleed for This: A fascinating comeback story anchored by Miles Teller's outstanding lead.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: This kick-start of a whole new Harry Potter series is well acted, beautifully filmed, and utterly magical.
Anthropoid: Magnificent performances (especially from Cillian Murphy) elevate this meticulous WWII story far above its big-budget competition.
Deadpool: Sharp wit and Ryan Reynolds' hilarious leading turn shook up the superhero business in 2016. Some of the more juvenile bits wear thin on repeat viewings, but, still, a fun outing.
Suicide Squad: It plays like a series of frenetic music videos, but nifty visuals, Will Smith's unyielding magnetism, and a star turn from Margo Robbie make Suicide Squad worth watching.
Triple 9: A tense thriller with a superb cast. Real edge-of-your-seat cinema.
Moana/Sing/Finding Dory/The Secret Life of Pets: Strong year for animation, don't think I saw a bad animated film in 2016.
2015 Winners I Didn't See in Time for Last Year's ListSpotlight, which certainly would have made the cut.
The Revenant, which would have had a fair chance based solely on the beauty of its locations.
2016: The Year of the Disappointing Sequel
London Has Fallen, Captain America: Civil War (only Black Panther saves this lumbering bore), X-Men: Apocalypse, Independence Day: Resurgence, Jason Bourne (I liked you better when you were Jeremy Renner), Snow White & the Huntsman, Mechanic: Resurrection (shoulda stayed dead), Inferno, and Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (please go back, the first one was good), all failed to live up to even middling expectations set by their predecessors.
On the other hand, Alice: Through the Looking Glass actually wasn't half as bad as the original!
2016's Bottom of the Barrel (a.k.a. I Paid to See That??)Gods of Egypt, which is actually so terrible it's almost great.
The Bronze, one of the worst movies I've EVER seen.
Hardcore Henry, worse than The Bronze.
The Legend of Tarzan, but at least they didn't make Skarsgard do that yodel-thing onscreen.
Assassin's Creed, no...just no.
2016: The Year Jack Huston Made Such Bad Movies That Pride & Prejudice & Zombies Was Actually the BEST! (Not counting Hail, Caesar!, in which he turns up for all of 60 seconds.)
And Ben Hur reviews apparently scared him off social media.
Come back, Jack...I miss you! *cries*
2016: How to Spit-Shine A HeroSully: YES.
Snowden: NO.
And The Winner Is...
Best Actor: Ryan Gosling (The Nice Guys)
Best Actress: Jessica Chastain (Miss Sloane)
Best Supporting Actor: Ben Foster (Hell or High Water)
Best Supporting Actress: Kate Winslet (Triple 9)
Best Director: Ethan & Joel Coen (Hail, Caesar!)
So, dear reader(s), there you have my take on the year just ended. May the new one be happy and healthy for you all. See you at Marquee Cinemas!!
