Cindy Prascik’s reviews of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 and Machete Kills

Dearest Blog, this weekend's cinema schedule left me with two options: act like a real grownup with a movie blog and catch a pair of bonafide awards season hopefuls (Rush and Captain Phillips), or watch a cartoon and a splattery action flick with lots of cleavage and bad language.

Dear Blog, I think we both know where this is heading.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you haven't seen in the trailers.

First on today's agenda was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2.

When scientist Flint Lockwood (voice of Bill Hader) finds out his most famous invention is wreaking havoc, he teams with his childhood hero Chester V. (voice of Will Forte) to put a stop to the chaos...with surprising results.

So...I half-remember seeing the first Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. I'm pretty sure I liked it, because I was reasonably eager to see the sequel, but I don't remember much about it. Now I'm sorta remembering why. Cloudy 2 is passable entertainment that's safe for the kids, but doesn't offer much for anyone else.

The voice talent in Cloudy is a bunch of folks I generally find pretty funny. In addition to Hader and Forte, there's Anna Faris, James Caan, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris, Kristin Schaal, and Terry Crews. I don't think the cast is to blame for a lackluster picture, but I can't say anybody jumps out and saves it, either. It's not unheard of for really beautiful art to salvage a so-so animated flick, but this unfortunately falls flat in that regard as well. There are some imaginative creations, but nothing all that memorable or special.

It may be that my expectations of "family" entertainment have become unreasonable, but when I see a family movie these days, I expect it to be just that: something for the whole family, not just something that's suitable for kids. I expect the gorgeous art and clever humor of Finding Nemo, Elton John's hit parade in Gnomeo & Juliet (which had me and all the other grownups in the room dancing and singing along), or something truly special like How to Train Your Dragon, a spectacular film that compares favorably to any other movie, animated or not. The kids in my cinema today seemed to be getting a real charge out of the goofiness and bodily-function humor in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, but I think I only chuckled once...and I checked the clock three times. There's no invention that can turn that into anything good.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 clocks in at 95 minutes and is rated PG for "mild rude humor." It's suitable for kids, but is likely to bore adults to tears.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 gets four.

Next on my agenda was a sequel I more eagerly anticipated, Machete Kills.

Machete is recruited by the US President himself when an ex-Cartel leader points a missile at the good ole U.S. of A.

Machete Kills is a smorgasbord of familiar faces, cartoonish violence, and uber-hot babes. Dear reader(s), you know how I'm always saying an honest trailer is the key to a good movie-going experience? Well, a trailer whose lynchpin is Sofia Vergara firing giant boob guns tells you all you need to know about this one.

Danny Trejo is enjoyable as always, sticking with the less talk and more action plan.

Charlie Sheen is a hoot as the President, and Oscar nominee Demien Bichir is way over the top as the guy with his finger on the trigger. It's always a pleasure to see Walton Goggins, however briefly. Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, and Lady Gaga are so hot I'm surprised the screen didn't melt. There's blood and silliness aplenty, and...did I mention boob guns? While the movie's not grossly overlong, I do think it would have been better had they trimmed it to 90 minutes.

Machete Kills runs 107 minutes and is rated R for "strong bloody violence throughout, language, and some sexual content." It is exactly as advertised: an explosive, silly bit of brain candy.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Machete Kills gets six. Oh, and...boob guns.

Until next time...



No, seriously...boob guns!

MOVIE REVIEW MACHETE KILLS

The President of the United States (Charlie Sheen) tasks indomitable ex-Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) with silencing a dangerous radical and taking out a wealthy arms dealer who seeks to destabilize the entire globe. Michelle Rodriguez, Mel Gibson, Lady Gaga, Sofía Vergara, and Amber Heard co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Cast: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofía Vergara, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Amber Heard, Demián Bichir, Jessica Alba

Release Date: Oct 11, 2013

Rated R for strong Bloody Violence, Some Sexual Content and Language

Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

If Robert Rodriguez’s Machete offended your sensibility or stretched credulity then be forewarned to stay as far away from Machete Kills as possible. Rodriguez’s follow up is more insane and over the top than the original. It still works as an homage to Grindhouse films but with everything set to eleven. Honestly, the script is mostly secondary as it moves from one crazy action set piece to another, each more hilarious than the other. Rodriguez gives his film a steady vigor through the first 2 acts keeping you laughing at the manic insanity on screen. The third act hits a tad bit of a snag, bringing the film’s energy to a grinding halt because of Mel Gibson and his characters needless exposition. The third act may lose some people because it takes a sudden turn into slightly unexpected territory, they kind of tell you at the beginning of the film actually. It tries to recapture the energy of the first 2 acts but doesn’t quite pull it off. The cast lead by the granite faced Trejo is in fine form. Trejo, again, plays it all straight, regardless of how ridiculous the situation. Thankfully, Jessica Alba just stops buy for a cup of coffee and disappears quickly replaced by Amber Heard. Heard is having all kinds of fun in her role and naturally fits into her role. That being said, Demián Bichir and Sofia Vergara are the real standouts. Demián Bichir has always impressed me as an actor in dramatic roles but here he just lets loose. Bichir is clearly enjoying himself but he brings that extra bit in his delivery that makes his performance so much fun. The film sorely misses him the moment he’s gone. Sofia Vergara is underused while other actors got more to do in the last act; it’s a shame because she’s a screeching Colombian Valkyrie ready made for this type of film. The strange part about it is that the film overstays its welcome by about 15 minutes or so and probably could have worked better with a sleeker plot with less characters. That being said it’s a bloody mindless bit of good fun.

B-

Cindy Prascik’s Review of Metallica Through the Never

Dearest Blog, today I used my recovery day from the Nine Inch Nails concert to catch Metallica's latest big-screen venture, Through the Never.

Spoiler level here will be mild, and, truth be told, there's not a lot to spoil.

During a Metallica concert, a young man (Dane DeHaan) is charged with collecting "something the band needs tonight," but finds the task is more challenging than he could have imagined.

Lots of people release 3D concert films these days, and I get pretty tired of seeing trailers for Katy Perry, One Direction, Kenny Chesney....... Wait...what? Sorry, I dozed off just typing that bit. Anyway, it's nice to get a big-screen outing from a band that's actually worth seeing. Make no mistake, Through the Never is no more than a concert film with a little extra mustard on it, but what a concert film it is!!

Any plot is merely a side note to an explosive Metallica show. The story is interesting enough, without being distracting. DeHaan spends 90 minutes looking confounded, terrified, and higher than someone in a Cheech & Chong film...sometimes all at the same time.

There are extras aplenty, but his is really the only character to speak of, and he carries the scripted part of the movie well.

There's no backstage BS in Through the Never, no Katy Perry explaining how her Christian upbringing prepared her for a career crooning trite pop songs while dressed as a PG13-candy striper.

Outside the trippy clips of DeHaan trying to accomplish his chore, there's just Metallica, Metallica, and more Metallica. Top hits like Enter Sandman, One, and Nothing Else Matters are complimented by old favorites Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, and my favorite Metallica song, Creeping Death. I had the theatre to myself today, and I'll cop to throwing the horns and yelling, "Die! Die! Die!" along with the onscreen crowd.

The 3D is good without being obtrusive. Nothing flies off the screen at you, but it definitely feels like you're front row for Metallica's big sets and big sound. This movie is a good time x 12.

Metallica Through the Never runs a quick 93 minutes and is rated R for "some violent content and language."

Metallica Through the Never is a fantastic concert film that, for my money, could have been two hours longer and still seemed short.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, I can enthusiastically give it all nine.

And, if you were lucky enough to catch this in IMAX 3D,

I hate you. I really hate you! ;-)

Horns up, dear reader(s)! Until next time...



\ m/

Cindy Prascik's Review’s of Runner Runner and Gravity

Dearest Blog, today I slogged to the cinema for the ho-hum double bill Runner Runner and Gravity.

Spoiler level here will be mild...ish, I guess. Mostly nothing that's not in the trailers, though I gotta say one thing about Gravity that doesn't give away anything specific, but may be more than some want to know before watching.

First on my agenda was a movie I was actually pretty interested in despite poor reviews, Runner Runner.

Brilliant but broke whiz-kid Richie Furst (Justin Timberlake) gets sucked into the business empire of online gambling kingpin Ivan Block (Ben Affleck).

Timberlake and Affleck both turn in solid performances in Runner Runner, but their characters are sorely underdeveloped. I had a hard time buying that Furst was smart enough to discover what brought him to Block's attention, not due to any shortcomings on Timberlake's part, but because the movie just didn't convince me. Ditto how Block got to where he is. In both cases the movie makes mention of the past without doing enough to make it feel real.

Gemma Arterton fares even worse as Block's business partner and ex-flame. There's no denying she looks hot as ever, but I'd have liked to see her with more to do. Anthony

Mackie is solid as usual as an FBI agent out to take down Block's operation.
If there are hiccups in the way online gambling is presented, or the means used to discover certain things, well, I don't know enough about any kind of gambling for those to have bothered me, as they have apparently bothered some.

The movie does a good job of maintaining tension throughout, and sets up a suitable, if predictable, ending.

Runner Runner run(ner)s 91 minutes and is rated R for "language and some sexual content."

Runner Runner is a decent thriller that is smart enough not to wear out its welcome.

Funny thing is, I (of all people!) actually wished this one were a little longer. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Runner Runner gets six.

Next up was Gravity, one of the two critical darlings (along with Rush) that I've been dreading like a root canal.

An accident leaves a pair of astronauts (Sandra Bullock and George Clooney) adrift in space and fighting for survival.

Though I'm not quite jumping on the Gravity Love Train, I liked it much better than I expected to.

It's easy to understand why every director I follow on Twitter has been crowing about Gravity for the last week or so; it's glorious, easily one of the most stunning movies I've ever seen.

You know, dear reader(s), I hate 3D and wouldn't steer ya towards it unless it were really worth it, but Gravity's 3D is really, really worth it. I flinched to get out of the way of space debris more than once!

Clooney and especially Bullock give realistic, moving performances, and Bullock had me in tears more than once. A magnificent score provides perfect emotional cues. That's the good news.

The bad news is, even at just over 90 minutes, Gravity feels too long. Space is beautiful, but I got bored of watching spacesuits tumble and drift, set to the backdrop of Bullock's incessant panting and grunting.

I also think maybe the film should have been called Murphy's Law instead of Gravity, because the number of things that had to go wrong to maintain peril started to feel a bit ridiculous and contrived. Still, there's more right than wrong with Gravity, and I'm delighted I didn't pay 3D prices just to hate it.

Gravity clocks in at 90 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense perilous sequences, some disturbing images, and brief strong language." Whatever shortcomings it may have,

Gravity is worth seeing in 3D on the biggest screen you can find.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Gravity gets seven.

Until next time...



If actual space is so much danger and so little Spock, why do people bother?

MOVIE REVIEW: GRAVITY

Director Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity stars Sandra Bullock as Dr. Ryan Stone, a scientist on a space shuttle mission headed by astronaut Matt Kowalsky (George Clooney), a talkative, charismatic leader full of colorful stories that he shares with his crewmates as well as mission control. As the two are on a space walk, debris hits the area where they are working, and soon the pair finds themselves detached from their ship and stranded in space. While figuring out what steps they can take to save themselves ~ Perry Seibert, Rovi

Director: Alfonso Cuarón

Cast: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney.

Release Date: Oct 04, 2013 RealD 3D, IMAX

Rated PG-13 for intense perilous sequences, some disturbing images and brief strong language

Runtime: 1 hr. 31 min.

Genres: Drama, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

The story in Gravity is something most movie going audiences have seen before in movies like Open Water or even Cast Away. It’s simply a man vs. nature survival story elevated by impressive visual and excellent performances by the two main leads. Your enjoyment of the film maybe helped or hindered by your enjoyment of Clooney and Bullock. Clooney is at his charismatic best in limited screen time but the bulk of the heavy lifting is done by Bullock. She delivers an impressive performance throughout while working through a full range of emotions as the film progresses. If something hinders performance it’s mainly due to the script which gives us two rather pedestrian characters. That’s not to say they are terribly by any stretch of the imagination but they are basic. Mix that with some not so subtle themes (rebirth, acceptance of things you can’t control) and it can get a tad heavy handed. It not a massive misstep but it’s there. Honestly though, the story isn’t the main draw here, it’s Alfonso Cuarón’s technical acumen which impresses me more and more with each passing film. Cuarón has created a visual wonderland / thrill ride which utilizes 3D (see it in IMAX if you can) in amazing ways. The opening sequence is a technical marvel which feels like a weightless wonderfully choreographed 10 minute + ride into space. The action sequences and even the quieter moments deliver the kind of helpless but thrilling experience that the characters are going through. Gravity is the type of film that has to be seen on the big screen and in 3D to fully appreciate it.

A-

[Official Main Trailer] The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The “Official Main Trailer” of the 2nd part of The Hobbit has just hit the internet. It’s appropriately epic in tone and scope. It also gives us our first full looks at the Legolas subplot, Luke Evans and Benedict Cumberbatch's Smaug, check it out below….