Cindy Prascik's Triple-Play Reviews: Free Fire, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets and Dunkirk

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Valerian & the City of a Thousand Planets and Dunkirk, after long-awaited home screening of Free Fire.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or a history book.

 

First up: Free Fire.

 

In the late 1970s, a weapons deal goes awry in an abandoned Boston warehouse.

 

I had high hopes for Free Fire, likely due to the presence of two of my favorite actors, Cillian Murphy and Sharlto Copley...not to mention Armie Hammer, who generally can do no wrong in my eyes. It is perhaps due to an unreasonably high bar that I found the movie something of a disappointment, though it's not without a fair few merits.

 

Chief among Free Fire's positives is its cast. In addition to my aforementioned favorites, the picture features great turns from Oscar winner Brie Larson, Michael Smiley, and Sam Riley. The botched gun sale happens in real(ish) time, which is often a bore onscreen, but the movie is smart enough not to wear out its welcome. As you might have guessed from the whole "weapons deal goes awry" thing, violence is not in short supply here, though it seems these gangs of gun-runners can't even shoot well enough to join the Stormtroopers. One of Free Fire's really great moments features an Edgar Wright-ish use of an old John Denver tune, and--while it's hardly a hardly a character study--there is some backstory underneath all the gunfire. Unfortunately, aside from rooting for more screen time for my faves, I never much cared what happened to anyone, I just found the proceedings rather dull. Without divulging how the chips fall in the end, I will say for a brief moment I was hopeful the picture was cruising towards a finish that might have made amends for some of its shortcomings, but ultimately it goes a half-step too far for even that.

 

Free Fire clocks in at 90 minutes and is rated R for "strong violence, pervasive language, sexual references, and drug use."

 

While I didn't love Free Fire nearly as much as I'd hoped, it's a smart enough picture that I was left thinking, to paraphrase George Costanza: "It's not you, Free Fire, it's me." 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Free Fire gets six.

 

Next on Saturday's agenda was my first Pirate-less trip to the cinema in nearly two months, which kicked off with Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.

 

A long time from now, in a galaxy far, far away, Agents Valerian and Laureline are on a mission to save the future.

 

Dear reader(s): I gotta be straight with ya, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. From the first trailer, something seemed off, a good enough idea that started going wrong even a two-minute preview, but I held out hope the film might surprise me. I didn't need Valerian to be Oscar-worthy; rather--like King Arthur and the Legend of the Sword--I just needed it to be watchable. Sadly, it isn't. As I'm frequently on the flip side of popular opinion, for reference I'll note that paying customers walked out on my screening, and the exit chatter from those who stuck around was positively grim. You might think a sci-fi epic such as this would have wonderful effects, but Valerian's are pretty pedestrian. It's lovely at times, but there's nothing all that interesting, nevermind ground-breaking. The plodding, convoluted story is propelled by awkward dialogue and attempts to force sexual tension between two characters who have about as much spark as a wet match. Oh...and was I supposed to be rooting for someone here? Valerian (the usually reliable Dane DeHaan) is a boorish lout; Laureline (Cara "Please Stop Treating This Person Like an Actor" Delevingne), a petulant child. The hippie aliens the movie hopes to make its most sympathetic characters are annoying with a capital A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G, and the female who kept pinwheeling around like the highest person at an intergalactic Grateful Dead show made me want to throw something at the screen. There's a bit of saving grace in Bubble--portrayed with surprising skill by Rihanna--but her appearance is so brief it can't come close to salvaging this two-plus-hour mess.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand planets runs a painful 137 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sci-fi violence and action, suggestive material, and brief language."

 

While I'd never discourage anyone from getting out to the cinema, I shall beg everyone not to waste a penny on this dreadful movie. Go see Baby Driver instead. (Fine, then. See it again.)

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, I can't, in good faith, give Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets even one.

 

Finally, my closer for yesterday's movie-thon was Christopher Nolan's World War II epic, Dunkirk.

A desperate attempt is made to evacuate Allied soldiers, surrounded by the enemy, from a beach in France.

 

It goes without saying a big war epic plays to writer/director Christopher Nolan's strengths, and I am pleased to report that the best director I've ever worked with** does not disappoint. Since excessive length is one of my common complaints, I'll start by noting that Nolan has exercised great restraint in trimming Dunkirk to an efficient runtime of under two hours; however, he so masterfully immerses viewers in the terrifying sights and sounds of war, the tension makes some scenes seem very long indeed. In an age of increasingly bad behavior at the movies, my room sat in rapt silence for the duration of Dunkirk. Spellbinding performances from Mark Rylance, Kenneth Branagh, and Cillian Murphy effectively depict the horrors of war, of being unable to save everyone, of having to make impossible choices for the greater good. Visually, Dunkirk is colored in shades of grey, accenting the seemingly hopeless situation, but majestic shots of the beach and sea are still breathtaking. Hans Zimmer's glorious score sets the perfect tone, and the movie builds to a finish that strikes all the right emotional chords without feeling contrived. 

 

Dunkirk clocks in at 106 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense war experience and some language."

 

Dunkirk is equal parts summer blockbuster and potential awards bait, a deserving box-office hit that hopefully will be remembered when the industry starts considering its year-end accolades. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Dunkirk gets eight.

 

Until next time...

 

**I was an extra in The Dark Knight Rises. I never spoke directly to Mr. Nolan, but IT COUNTS, DAMMIT!

MOVIE REVIEW: DUNKIRK

Acclaimed auteur Christopher Nolan directs this World War II thriller about the evacuation of Allied troops from the French city of Dunkirk before Nazi forces can take hold. Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh and Mark Rylance co-star, with longtime Nolan collaborator Hans Zimmer providing the score. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi

Director: Christopher Nolan

Cast: Tom Hardy, Mark Rylance, Kenneth Branagh, Cillian Murphy, James D'Arcy

Release Date: Jul 21, 2017

Rated PG-13 for intense war experience and some language

Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama

Review:

Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk is an impressive achievement, a sprawling war epic taken from multiple viewpoints.  After Interstellar, a rare misstep from Nolan, it’s good to see the director try something new.  What he delivers an interesting and engaging non liner story told from different viewpoints and perspectives.  As such it gives you a well rounded viewpoint, from the ground, air and sea, of the events as they unfold.  The characters are fairly simplistic but they serve the story well with Mark Rylance, Tom Hardy and Fionn Whitehead all deliver strong performances even though their scenes are about as bare bones as they come.  Nolan’s film is more about the event than the actual people so they’re not really a huge emphasis on unearned dramatics.  It’s a big sweeping film which shows off Nolan’s technical prowess throughout.  Is it the greatest war film ever made, probably not, it’s probably not Nolan’s best film, The Prestige still holds that honor, but it’s a impressive none the less.

B+

MOVIE REVIEW: WAR FOR PLANET OF THE APES

Caesar (Andy Serkis) and his apes are forced into a deadly conflict with an army of humans led by a ruthless colonel (Woody Harrelson). After the apes suffer unimaginable losses, Caesar wrestles with his darker instincts and begins his own mythic quest to avenge his kind. As the journey finally brings them face to face, Caesar and the colonel are pitted against each other in an epic battle that will determine the fate of both of their species and the future of the planet.

Director: Matt Reeves

Cast: Andy Serkis, Woody Harrelson, Gabriel Chavarria, Steve Zahn, Judy Greer

Rated PG-13 rating is for sequences of sci-fi violence and action, thematic elements, and some disturbing images

Release Date: Jul 14, 2017

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

Matt Reeves War for Planet of the Apes is a strong finish to the rebooted prequel.  The story is deeply layered, borrowing from multiple sources including The Searchers, Apocalypse Now and the book of Exodus.  Needless to say, there is a lot going on in the script, it’s dense emotionally and touching.  It’s a rare summer blockbuster that puts the spectacle on the back burner for smaller quieter moments focused on character development and story arches.  The story is so strong that you can start to overlook the level of digital wizardry on display with the ape characters.  They are totally convincing throughout the film and this entry in particular puts them front and center with the human characters taking a backseat.  Andy Serkis once again proves that’s he’s the most underappreciated actor working now by delivering another impressive motion capture performance.  He’s the heart and soul of the film and it is impossible to not get emotionally invested in his characters journey.  Steve Zahn joins him as Bad Ape who provides some much needed comic relief here and there.  Zahn proves to be just as capable as Serkis because he does provide some depth to the character that could have been easily one dimensional.  Woody Harrelson is the primary human villain and he’s used sparing as the Coronel Kurtz knock off.  It’s probably for the best since he’s chewing scenery at impressive pace.  There are a few pacing issues in spots where the film seems to lag a bit.  Additionally, some of the biblical allegory is a tad heavy handed for my taste.  A bit more subtleness would have helped the film.  That being said, Matt Reeves closed out his trilogy on a strong note and brings the characters story to a satisfying ending.

B+

MOVIE REVIEW: SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

Thrilled by his experience with the Avengers, young Peter Parker (Tom Holland) returns home to live with his Aunt May. Under the watchful eye of mentor Tony Stark, Parker starts to embrace his newfound identity as Spider-Man. He also tries to return to his normal daily routine -- distracted by thoughts of proving himself to be more than just a friendly neighborhood superhero. Peter must soon put his powers to the test when the evil Vulture emerges to threaten everything that he holds dear.

Director: Jon Watts 

Cast: Tom Holland, Marisa Tomei, Michael Keaton, Robert Downey, Jr., Donald Glover

Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence, some language and brief suggestive comments

Release Date: Jul 07, 2017

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

Spider-Man: Homecoming was going to have an uphill battle being the  3^rd iteration of the character in so many years.  Thankfully Tom Holland is a great fit for the role, really taking the character back into the high school world in earnest.  Holland has a great gee whiz charisma that fits the film and this take on the character.  The story itself is a solid coming of age tale that feels familiar without becoming burdensome.  It’s a fun story which makes good use of Robert Downey Jr. in the mentor role which seems like a logical fit being Marvel’s first hero.  Michael Keaton makes for a solid villain, a rarity in the Marvel movies, with his motivations making more sense than your usual bad guy.  Keaton uses his low key intensity to great effect here even though the film could have used some focus in terms of conflict.  At times it almost feels like Keaton’s villain is secondary to other plot lines in the film.  It’s a shame because it’s a decent character that could have made a larger impact if the film had allowed him to.  A few quibbles aside, Spider-Man: Homecoming is a fun film that avoids the entire “origins” trope by basically sidestepping it entirely and doing it’s own thing.

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of Spider-Man: Homecoming

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Spider-Man: Homecoming.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you haven't learned already from trailers and clips.

 

Young Peter Parker works his way through high-school angst, frustration with his mentor, and part-time hero-ing.

 

Well, dear reader(s), I am fond of saying I always keep an open enough mind for something to surprise me. Usually that's a positive, but this weekend, unfortunately, the opposite is true.

 

I adore Spider-Man. He's my third-favorite superhero, behind The Tick and Batman, if anyone wondered...okay, probably not. Thanks to solid trailers, good word on the street, and an entertaining appearance in Captain America: Civil War, I had high hopes for Spider-Man: Homecoming, and it hurts me deeply to declare it a disappointment. Still, the movie has a fair few positives, so I hope to focus mostly on those, beginning, as I usually do, with the cast. Tom Holland is a great Peter Parker, perfectly embodying that challenging age when young adults are certain they're capable of more than the grownups think. It helps that Holland, barely old enough to drink, is within (web) shooting distance of our high-school hero's age. While both effectively play younger onscreen, and both, for my money, were terrific Spideys, Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield were in their mid- to late-20s when they put on the tights, so at some point they were bound to feel a bit removed from those difficult-but-exciting teen years. The supporting cast is filled with awesomeness in the forms of Marisa Tomei, Donald Glover, Tyne Daly, and the now-obligatory appearance by Robert Downey, Jr., but it's Michael Keaton, as the film's chief baddie, who really steals the show with what might be the best performance in any Marvel movie, ever. Keaton's can't-look-away work is worth the price of admission all on its own. (For the record, on the subject of RDJ, Homecoming never feels like Iron Man 3.5, as the trailers sometimes promised/threatened.) Spider-Man: Homecoming features some really great CGI as well as some inexplicably wonky CGI. There are times when you'd believe Spidey was actually swinging through the sky above you, other times when he might as well be a Colorforms that someone's moving across the board by hand. (Does anyone remember Colorforms? Do I need to change that analogy?) Some of the worst of it comes at the expense of the climactic Staten Island Ferry scene hinted at in the trailers, which can't help but leave a bad taste. Also on the subject of visuals, even brighter scenes are a bit dark, leaving dark scenes too muddy to see much of anything. A bit of darkness is an understood side effect of seeing 3D product in 2D, but if a movie is showing in both formats, then filmmakers and cinemas really need to figure that out. Marvel's forced cheekiness is getting old as well; they're like that Facebook friend who's constantly posting the same duck-face selfie and expecting a hundred likes; it's just not as cute as it thinks it is, and the Stan Lee cameos are ho-hum, at best, these days. Ultimately, though, if you're wondering what makes this movie so disappointing, the answer is simple: It's boring. Homecoming is only slightly overlong (a 15-20 minute trim would have done it a great service), but it seems to go on forever without getting anywhere. The first half is insufferable, and the second act cruises towards its finale without ever gaining much momentum. Big action pieces are dropped between funny or heartfelt exchanges among Peter, his classmates, Aunt May* (*hottie version), and Tony Stark, but it's all too familiar and forgettable. There's a mid-credits scene that's worth your sticking around, but the final post-credits stinger is a waste of time that, again, isn't nearly as cute as it thinks it is.

 

Spider-Man: Homecoming runs an interminable 133 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sci-fi action violence, some language, and brief suggestive comments.”

 

If you're a fan of the genre who plans to see Spider-Man: Homecoming regardless, big-screen is definitely the way to go for this effects-driven extravaganza. If you're just looking to go to the movies this week, go see Baby Driver instead. (If you've already seen it, see it again.) Of a possible nine Weasleys, Spider-Man: Homecoming gets five.

 

Fangirl points: Mostly musical this time, with soundtrack appearances by the Ramones, The English Beat, and A Flock of Seagulls, as well as the classic Spider-Man theme. 

 

Also a cute nod to Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

 

Until next time... 

 

Cindy Prascik's Review of Despicable Me 3

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas with approximately eight million children for Despicable Me 3.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

Having failed to apprehend his arch-nemesis, Gru and his Minions turn back to villainy(ish).

 

Despicable Me is a "family" franchise that usually has plenty of laughs for fans of any age, and the third installment is no different. It boasts fun, funny characters who are easy to love. You'll have seen most of Gru's best bits in DM3 trailers, but there's plenty of cuteness from Margo, Edith, and Agnes to earn the price of a ticket. Judicious use of the Minions makes their appearances both entertaining and welcome; they are, as usual, the movie's highlight. Series newcomer Trey Parker is hilarious as this outing's stuck-in-the-80s super-villain. His musical choices and pop-culture references are clearly filmmakers throwing parents a bone for bringing their darling eight-year-olds to the show, but they are totally rad! Despicable Me 3 features bright, colorful art, constant-motion animation, and lively tunes sure to keep the kidlets engaged. I had a full house for my screening, and it didn't seem anyone in the room was much in agreement with the picture's mostly middling reviews; rather, kids and grownups alike were all laughing and having a great time.

 

Despicable Me 3 runs 90 minutes and is rated PG for "action and rude humor."

 

The Despicable Me franchise may have lost some of its magic along the way, but Despicable Me 3 is still a huge step up from 2015's standalone Minions movie (for whatever that's worth!). Of a possible nine Weasleys, Despicable Me 3 gets five and a half.

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: BABY DRIVER

A partially deaf getaway driver (Ansel Elgort) gets caught up in a botched heist in this action comedy from writer/director Edgar Wright (Edgar Wright, Edgar Wright). Lily James, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Jon Bernthal, Jon Hamm, and Sky Ferreira co-star. ~ Jack Rodgers, Rovi

Director: Edgar Wright

Cast: Jon Bernthal, Kevin Spacey, Ansel Elgort, Jon Hamm, Jamie Foxx

Release Date: Jun 28, 2017

Runtime: 1 hr. 53 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy

Review:

Edgar Wright’s latest film, Baby Driver, is another strong entry into his catalogue.  He delivers a musical infused crime thriller that’s innovative even though the basic plot is well worn.  The film has an impressive rhythm from the opening car chase.  The impressively choreographed stunt driving is some of the best I’ve seen in a years.  It’s a testament to practical stunts that you feel every collision and rumble during any of the sequences.  The car chases are far better than any of the CGI infused trickery in another large car franchise.  The characters themselves are fun and interesting even if they never feel like actual people.  Ansel Elgort makes a fine lead, supplying the character with a healthy amount of innocence and charm though he’s outshined by the supporting characters.  Kevin Spacey, John Hamm and Jamie Foxx all deliver fun performances.  Spacey is totally in his element as the boss and Hamm and Foxx make for great villains at different points in the film.  Foxx is at full level crazy as the most despicable member of the crew.  Hamm’s role is tailor suited to his talents of being charming while looking like he’s suffering from a lifelong hangover.  Lily James makes for a cute love interest but doesn’t really register when compared to the rest of the cast.  Still, Baby Driver is one of the most fun films you’ll watch this year.

A- 

MOVIE REVIEW: THE HOUSE

Andrew J. Cohen directs this romp about a mother and father (Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler) who blow their daughter's college fund and start an illegal casino in their basement to recoup the losses. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi

Director: Andrew Jay Cohen

Cast: Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Allison Tolman, Rob Huebel, Michaela Watkins

Rated: R for language throughout, sexual references, drug use, some violence and brief 

nudity 

Genres: Comedy

Review:

The House is an unfortunate example of how getting an impressive collection of comedic talents together doesn’t guarantee a funny movie.  The premise sounds good and it should work but unfortunately the film just never finds its footing with most of the jokes and situations missing the mark.  There a few laughs to be had here and there probably birthed out of sheer will by Ferrell and Poehler but it’s not enough to save the film.  First time director Andrew Jay Cohen can’t seem to create any sort of energy for the cast which is a shame because it feels like there is a funny movie in there somewhere.

C-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Baby Driver

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for one of my most highly anticipated titles of 2017, Edgar Wright's Baby Driver.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

To repay an old debt, a young man is forced to use his extraordinary skills in service of a criminal mastermind.

 

Dear reader(s), in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I'll confess my firm conviction that Edgar Wright makes perfect movies, all the time. As writer or director, and especially as writer and director, the guy is a visionary. I keep an open enough mind that pretty much anything can surprise me (pleasantly or unpleasantly), but honor demands I admit there was very little chance I wouldn't love Baby Driver. That's the Cliff's Notes. Now, onto the meat and potatoes...

 

Edgar Wright's love and respect for music lend his films unparalleled attention to detail where it is concerned. Each and every song is selected, each and every note perfectly placed, to underline, energize, advance, or complete its moment, event, or scene. While that's the case with all of Wright's efforts, Baby Driver willfully and overtly makes music its star, the sun around which all the other moving pieces revolve. If you love music, you will feel this film from the roots of your hair to the soles of your shoes. That's not to say the picture's "other" stars are lightweights. Decorated names such as Kevin Spacey, Jon Hamm, and Jamie Foxx have ample opportunity to shine brightly in Baby Driver's galaxy. "It" girl Lily James charms her way through the movie like an old pro, and Ansel Elgort is a delight in what's sure to be a star-making turn.

 

Baby Driver is an action film, filled with thrilling chase scenes and beautifully choreographed stunt driving. Baby Driver is a comedy, its humor blooming organically from genuine performances and crazy scenarios. Baby Driver is a drama, boasting sincere moments among layered, engaging characters. Baby Driver is extraordinary filmmaking from an extraordinary filmmaker, everything you could want from a movie and more.

 

Baby Driver clocks in at 113 minutes and is rated R for violence and language.

Baby Driver is a beautiful, clever, unique cinema experience that should shut up the "Hollywood is out of ideas" crowd for at least the weekend. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, I am pleased and unsurprised to give Baby Driver all nine.

 

Fangirl points: OHMYGOSH YOU GUYS THERE'S A DAMNED SONG IN THIS MOVIE!

 

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Review of Transformers: The Last Knight

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Transformers: The Last Knight.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing that hasn't been revealed already by trailers and clips.

 

Humans have set themselves against all Transformers, making outlaws of anyone who continues to be their allies, but Earthlings are forced to reconsider that position when the planet is threatened.

 

The latest Transformers movie is taking a critical beating, not unlike those that came before it. It's pretty much exactly as advertised, however, so anyone with reasonable expectations shouldn't be disappointed.

 

Since I actually liked the movie, let's get the negatives out of the way first, beginning with the obvious: a two-and-a-half hour runtime. Ninety minutes, an hour and forty-five at most, would have made The Last Knight a great summer popcorn flick, but even the biggest, best effects and action wear thin at two and a half hours, nevermind the muddled backstory does nothing to earn such an excessive runtime. Then there's the "humor." With only the genuinely amusing bits, the film would have been plenty light enough, but instead it constantly oversells juvenile, annoying one-liners. That's the bad news. The good news is there's actually a great deal of good news. Transformers is all about huge effects and, as such, is one of my very favorite franchises to revisit on the big screen. This outing is no exception, with visuals that are massive-times-ten and sound that shakes the floor. Cool action sequences never seem to drag on, despite the bloated whole, and when the jokes hit the mark, the movie is actually very funny. In what he's declared his final Transformers outing, Mark Wahlberg remains more watchable that Shia LeBeouf ever was, and Anthony Hopkins appears to be having the time of his life, never demeaning the material despite the fact it's clearly beneath him. For my money, it should be easy for anyone to have at least as much fun with this movie as Anthony Hopkins does.

Transformers: The Last Knight clocks in at a whopping 149 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence and intense sequences of sci-fi action, language, and some innuendo."

 

Transformers: The Last Knight is big, dopey fun that fills a summer weekend quite nicely. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Transformers: The Last Knight gets six.

 

Fangirl points: Mitch Pileggi! Steve Buscemi! SANTIAGO CABRERA! *heart-eyes emoji* 

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT

Humans are at war with the Transformers, and Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving the future lies buried in the secrets of the past and the hidden history of Transformers on Earth. Now, it's up to the unlikely alliance of Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), Bumblebee, an English lord (Anthony Hopkins) and an Oxford professor (Laura Haddock) to save the world.
Director: Michael Bay
 
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock, Stanley Tucci

Release Date: Jun 21, 2017

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Rated PG-13 for violence and intense sequences of sci-fi action, language, and some innuendo

Review:

I’ve always been forgiving of Michael Bay’s live action series because the cartoon will always be a fond part of my childhood.  I’ve always found plenty to like in movies even if they’ve been far from perfect.  I’d actually enjoyed the last installment because Bay finally seemed to figure out that it helps the series if you give the Transformers some personality and make them the center piece.  I’d hoped it was something that’d be continued in The Last Knight.  Sadly, Bay decides to put the Transformers in the background, Optimus Prime barely has 30 minutes of screentime, leaving us with Mark Wahlberg and Laura Haddock’s pillowly lips.  The plot is an overly complex mess that seems to find the most complicated way to do everything.  There are a bevy of new human characters including a plucky child, played by Isabela Moner, who’s introduced and forgotten for the majority of the film only to be reintroduced in the final act.  The saving grace of it all is Anthony Hopkins who’s clearly enjoying himself in the unrelenting madness going on around him.  Hopkins and his robot butler provide the majority of the laughs and enjoyment in the film.  The biggest issue is simply making a movie called Transformers and leaving the titular robots on the sideline while haphazardly throwing famous characters from Transformers lore around like undercooked pasta.  It’s a real shame because the series could be a fun sci-fi series if it could stay focused on its actual stars, the robots. 

D

MOVIE REVIEW: ROUGH NIGHT

Five best friends (Scarlett Johansson, Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer, Zoë Kravitz) from college reunite 10 years later for a wild bachelorette weekend in Miami. Their hard partying takes a hilariously dark turn when they accidentally kill a male stripper. Amid the craziness of trying to cover it up, they're ultimately brought closer together when it matters most.

Director: Lucia Aniello

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Jillian Bell, Kate McKinnon, Zoe Kravitz, Ilana Glazer, Ty Burrell, 

Demi Moore

Release Date: Jun 09, 2017

R for crude sexual content, language throughout, drug use and brief bloody images

Runtime: 1 hr. 41 min.

Release Date: Jun 16, 2017

Genres: Comedy

Review:

Rough Night is a raucous comedy with a free and loose feel to it with a solid cast.  Writer director Lucia Aniello directs an efficient comedy with only a handful of noticeable dead spots.  The story isn’t ground breaking by stretch of the imagination but the cast keeps it fun for the better part of the film.  Scarlett Johansson, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer, Kate McKinnon and Zoe Kravitz make for a fun comedic combination.  Kate McKinnon creates another memorably weird character that steals most of the scenes she’s in.  Johansson is a tad bit under utilized as the “straight man” in the piece.  Ty Burrell and Demi Moore have fun supporting roles that probably could have been played for a few more laughs if the script had given them a little more to do.  Similarly, Paul W. Downs boyfriend character and his bachelor party seemed like it was ripe for more laughs even though his story thread provided some inspired sequences.  There are a few sequences near the end of the film that slow the story down.  They try to give the story a bit of emotional depth which ends up feeling tacked on.  The story doesn’t really need it, its mindless guilty fun that delivers what it set out to do.

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Mummy

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the opening act in Universal's new Dark Universe, The Mummy.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you haven't seen already in trailers and advertising.

 

Tom Cruise unleashes an ancient curse...on his box office, apparently.

 

Well, friends, by now I'm sure you've heard that The Mummy is terrible. A Facebook friend and fellow movie reviewer--not generally one who just parrots the opinions of "real" critics--called it the worst movie he'd ever seen, and many headlines have proclaimed it, at the very least, the worst picture Tom Cruise has ever made. I'm here to argue that, while the Mummy is not Oscar material, nor is it rocket science, it is a perfectly passable way to spend a couple hours at the cinema.

 

It goes without saying The Mummy's chief positive is Cruise, who always seems to be having the time of his life, no matter how good or bad the project. His character is nothing new, a morally ambiguous rogue pressganged into heroics by circumstance, but Cruise is so delightful it matters not how many times you've seen it before. The Mummy's leading ladies, Annabelle Wallis and Sofia Boutella, are solid enough as cookie-cutter characters, but it's Russell Crowe who steals the show in...erm...let's just say a "dual" role. The Mummy boasts decent effects, fun action sequences, a few nice jump scares, and it's quite amusing when it wants to be. It's also smart enough not to wear out its welcome. While The Mummy is certainly no unforgettable piece of cinematic brilliance, it does a fine job kicking off Universal's new Dark Universe, and I look forward to watching that play out (though I do wish it still included Luke Evans. *sigh*).

 

The Mummy clocks in at 110 minutes, and is rated PG13 for "violence, action and scary images, and some suggestive content and partial nudity."

 

If you're especially skittish about spiders or rats, or so deeply in love with Brendan Fraser you simply can't abide the prospect of this reimagining, maybe take a pass on The Mummy; otherwise, if you're in the market for some fun summer brain candy, you'll likely find it a good time...and suffice to say reports of Tom Cruise's career demise have been greatly exaggerated. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Mummy gets six.

 

Until next time... 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: IT COMES AT NIGHT

A married couple (Joel Edgerton and Carmen Ejogo) and their teenage son (Kelvin Harrison) isolate themselves from the rest of humanity when a mysterious plague throws civilization into chaos, but their secluded existence is threatened when a young family seek shelter with them. Christopher Abbott and Riley Keough co-star. Written and directed by Trey Edward Shults (Trey Edward Shults). ~ Jack Rodgers, Rovi

Director: Trey Edward Shults

Cast: Joel Edgerton, Riley Keough, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo

Release Date: Jun 09, 2017

 
Rated R for Disturbing Images, Violence and Language

Runtime: 1 hr. 37 min.

Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

Trey Edward Shults second film, It Comes at Night is being sold as a straight forward horror film which doesn’t do it any favors.  It Comes at Night is a claustrophobic paranoia themed thriller in post apocalyptic window dressing.  It’s a fantastically crafted film that just reeks of talent throughout.  Shults clearly has some talent behind the lens which is aided by some wonderful cinematography which echoes Stanley Kubrick.  It’s the very definition of a slow burn and the cast is utterly committed with each giving understated but strong performances.  Unfortunately, the story seems a tad bit undercooked.  It’s meditation on tragedy and paranoia are simplistic to say the least.  Its story is light on answers and those looking for any sort of a payoff or resolution will be let frustrated.  Perhaps it’s the point or just exemplification of Shults worldview.   Even though it’s not a film that people will be clamoring to revisit, its sparse runtime seems longer than it is, it’s a fine showcase for an impressive directorial talent. 

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Wonder Woman

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to see Wonder Woman...with a side of Pirates of the Caribbean.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

If your world (or your franchise) needs saving...ask a woman.

 

Regular reader(s) will know I generally don't read reviews until I've written mine, though of course I've seen headlines, most of which run along the lines of "DC Finally Gets It Right!" I'm of the rare opinion that DC always gets it right (yes, even Green Lantern!), so, if this review seems somewhat less gushing than most, it's only because the awesomeness was entirely expected.

 

Beginning with the obvious, our Wonder Woman is, indeed, a wonder. Strong and stunning, charming and smart, Gal Gadot carries this picture like it's old hat; she is perfect in every way. And how about Chris Pine?? I mean, if you're only catching onto the fact that he's more than just blue eyes and a dreamy smile, well...shame on you!! He's always great, but this might be his finest performance yet. The supporting cast is extremely solid, although...does Danny Huston play Nazis weirdly often, or does he just look like someone who does? How great to see Robin Wright in a badass role like this! As Wonder Woman's super support team, Said Taghmaoui, Ewen Bremner (yay!), and Eugene Brave Rock are the picture's unsung heroes, thoroughly engaging. I'm not a huge fan of all the super-slo-mo, but otherwise Wonder Woman's action sequences are well choreographed and don't run on too much. Thanks to spot-on humor, the movie never feels too dark, despite the high stakes, and I think we can all agree Wonder Woman has the coolest theme of any superhero! If I had one small complaint outside the overuse of slow-motion, it's that the movie definitely would have benefited from at least a small trim. It also feels a bit preachy at times, a side effect of its resolutely hopeful tone. 

 

Wonder Woman clocks in at 141 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of violence and action, and some suggestive content."

 

Wonder Woman (movie) often debates whether humanity deserves Wonder Woman (hero). I guess we probably don't, but I'm sure glad we got her anyway. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Wonder Woman gets eight.

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: WONDER WOMAN

An Amazon princess (Gal Gadot) finds her idyllic life on an island occupied only by female warriors interrupted when a pilot (Chris Pine) crash-lands nearby. After rescuing him, she learns that World War I is engulfing the planet, and vows to use her superpowers to restore peace. Directed by Patty Jenkins (Patty Jenkins). ~ Violet LeVoit, Rovi

Director: Patty Jenkins

Cast: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Connie Nielsen, Robin Wright, David Thewlis

Release Date: Jun 02, 2017

Rated: Rated pg-13 Some Suggestive Content, Sequences of Violence and Action

Runtime: 2 hr. 21 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

I’ll start off by saying that I’m terribly biased when it comes to Wonder Woman thanks to reruns of Lynda Carter’s iteration from the 70’s which led to a lifelong fandom.  Wonder Woman has always been my favorite superhero and I’ve actually read a handful of comics and watched endless amounts of Bruce Timm produced animation.  Needless to say, I can understand why it’s so difficult to nail the character.  Patty Jenkins and Batman vs. Superman scene stealer Gal Gadot had a large task in front of them.  Thankfully they nailed it.  Wonder Woman’s first foray onto the big screen is a rousing success.  Patty Jenkins layers the film with a handful of themes but they are done subtly and organically throughout.  Most importantly, it’ll all feel right for long time fans of the character.  Wonder Woman is a tough blend since she’s a warrior but also incredibly compassionate and caring.  Gal Gadot is able convey all of this with relative ease throughout, all the while showing off glimpses of some fine comedic talent.  

Gadot has a magnetic energy about her that’s just incredibly infectious.  Moving the film’s setting to World War 1 is an incredibly smart move since it gives us and Gadot a chance to show off an innocence in Diana’s character as she explores man’s world for the first time.  Chris Pine comes off as a pleasant surprise, in what is easily my favorite performance from him.  Pine and Gadot have an undeniable and realistic chemistry that’s as playful as it’s heartfelt.  Once the action moves into the battlefield, Jenkins and her cast show off an excellent handle on how to do action sequences properly.  There are 2 sequences that are sure to give longtime fans goosebumps.  If there is a minor complaint, it’s a tab bit of overuse of slow mo.  The sequences would have been better served if they’d held back on that just a tad.  Some of the minor drawbacks are the villains, Danny Huston’s character is about as one note as they come and Dr. Maru aka Dr. Poison comes a bit too cartoony for my taste.  Additionally, the third act does fall into the big battle trope most superhero films use.  A tad bit of trimming could have helped it since it overstays its welcome by a few minutes.  Regardless, when the film is done you can’t help but be impressed by how fun, emotionally layered and loving crafted Wonder Woman is by all those involved.

A-

MOVIE REVIEW: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar (Bardem), escape from the Devil’s Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea…including him. Captain Jack’s only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas.

Director: Espen Sandberg, Joachim Rønning

Cast: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Orlando Bloom, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario

Release Date: May 26, 2017

Rated: PG-13 for Some Suggestive Content and Adventure Violence

Runtime: 2 hr. 9 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, the 5^th entry in the series, is a fun bit of filmmaking but directors Espen Sandberg, Joachim Rønning can’t shake the feeling of familiarity.  A villain with a grud, a treasure and Jack Sparrow make for a decent enough time at the movies but this fifth installment never seems to find its sea legs.  With Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly sitting this entry out, for the most part, Johnny Depp is left with some unmagnetic replacements.  Neither Brenton Thwaites or Kaya Scodelario, who looks like a young Rebecca Hall, are interesting enough to make you care about them.  Javier Bardem is good fun as the villain in the piece even if the film doesn’t seem to know how to utilize him best.  The plot is straightforward enough to keep wandering minds entertained but once it’s all said and done, I doubt anyone will give it a second thought.

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Dearest Blog: Yesterday (and the day before), it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the latest installment in Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Dead Men Tell No Tales.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing of consequence that hasn't been revealed already by trailers and advertising.

 

Further misadventures ensue when Captain Jack Sparrow is enlisted for another magical mission.

 

Dear reader(s), so we're clear from the outset: The POTC franchise is my Bond, my Star Wars, my Avengers...all rolled into one. It's where Jack's compass would point if I held it in my hands. Any review is no more than one person's opinion, but my opinion of a POTC movie will never stray too far from a heart-eyes emoji and a bunch of exclamation points.

 

You may have heard that Dead Men Tell No Tales harkens back to the original POTC, the Curse of the Black Pearl, and in many ways this is true. Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites) and Carina Smith (Kaya Scodelario) are a poor man's Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann on a parental quest; Thwaites even looks like a young Orlando Bloom at times. As a devoted fan of Johnny Depp, lately I've wished he'd steer clear of the "quirky guy in a funny hat" roles, but I'm powerless to resist Captain Jack. He lights up the screen like no one else can, and, if he can never duplicate that element of surprise that came with the first outing, it's clear he is an icon, still much loved by movie-goers...much like the POTC films themselves. Javier Bardem's Captain Salazar is the stuff of nightmares, and his ghost crew represents some of the most interesting CGI I've seen in many a moon, tops in a picture that's filled with plenty of huge, masterful effects. (Two words: ghost sharks.) Dead Men Tell No Tales continues the franchise's history of hilariously clever action sequences (another brush with the executioner is a highlight), and the movie keeps its secrets well enough for some nice reveals. Geoff Zanelli gets credit for POTC5's rousing score, though it features plenty of callbacks to Klaus Badelt's stunning Curse of the Black Pearl soundtrack, and one very special Will Turner cue from Hans Zimmer's work on At World's End. Fans of the franchise will be delighted to see such familiar old faces as Mr. Gibbs (Kevin McNally), Marty (Martin Klebba), Murtogg (Giles New), Mullroy (Agnes Barnett), and of course Captain Barbossa (the brilliant Geoffrey Rush). At this writing, I've seen POTC5 twice in 2D and once in 3D, and the only appreciable benefit to the 3D is that it lightens up some too-dark scenes; otherwise it’s not worth the upcharge and glasses headache. The movie is exciting enough that it doesn't seem overlong, but it does slow down juuuuust enough in the middle that a little trim might have been to its benefit. Finally, though this installment has been billed as "the final adventure," it clearly means "final adventure" in the same way the Rolling Stones mean "farewell tour." Dead Men Tell No Tales doesn't just leave a door open for more POTC movies; a great post-credits scene practically promises them.

 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales runs 129 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of adventure violence and some suggestive content."

 

POTC5 is is a rollicking adventure filled with fun characters, terrific effects, and plenty of laugh-out-loud humor, perfect for the first holiday weekend of summer blockbuster season. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales gets all nine.

 

Fangirl points: All of it really, but how about those Middle Earth connections, David Wenham (Faramir) and Adam Brown (Ori), and of course...Sir Paul McCartney!!

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: ALIEN: COVENANT

Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, members (Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup) of the colony ship Covenant discover what they think to be an uncharted paradise. While there, they meet David (Michael Fassbender), the synthetic survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition. The mysterious world soon turns dark and dangerous when a hostile alien life-form forces the crew into a deadly fight for survival.

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demián Bichir

Release Date: May 19, 2017

Rated R for sci-fi violence, bloody images, language and some sexuality/nudity

Runtime: 2 hr. 2 min.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Drama

Review:

Alien: Covenant is best described as Ridley Scott plays all the hits.  On Prometheus, Scott tried for some headier sci-fi, even if the human decision weren’t, but fans complained about its lack of outright Alien connections.  Publicly, Scott’s been on record as saying he’s heard these complaints and delivered Alien: Covenant.  Fans of the series will find plenty of call back to the original film all the while Scott continues threads from Prometheus.   The film itself looks beautiful, even if the scares never really come since the beats are so familiar.  Katherine Waterston is primed to be the heroine in this entry but she’s never magnetic enough to completely captivate your attention.  Michael Fassbender more than makes up for the slack while playing duel roles.  Fassbender is clearly having a ball throughout and its audience benefit as he’s the most interesting thing on screen during the entire film.  The supporting cast is made up of familiar faces but their clearly just cattle being lead to the slaughter with only Danny McBride leaving an actual impression.  Alien: Covenant is a solid entry into the prequel series that sure to leave plenty of fans happy while others will complain about certain story decision. 

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of Alien: Covenant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the latest installment in the Alien franchise, Alien: Covenant.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

Alien life forms are sometimes very dangerous. Who'da guessed??

 

Dear reader(s), in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I'll confide that I don't like the Alien movies...ANY of them. I keep giving them chances because people who like the things that I do seem to love and even revere at least some of them but...welp...let's just say this latest installment finally may have cured me of my need to figure out what I'm missing.

 

If I heeded that old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," this review would be a blank page; however, since I paid the cost of admission expressly for the privilege of writing about the movie, I shall briefly disregard that sage advice to tell you Alien: Covenant sucks so hard. I might say it was worse than Prometheus, except I didn't fall asleep in this one. Maybe I just wasn't tired yesterday, but I'm gonna be generous and concede that point. Katherine Waterston is terrible, all teary eyes and quavering voice; in fact, for a team of scientists and explorers, the minute something goes a little sideways these people lose their s**t faster than the slutty girl in those teen horror flicks. Many of the choices they make are about as stupid, too. Cardinal rules: When in doubt, don't split up and don't have sex. Pretty simple, right? This crew is so dumb it's hard to invest in any of them...more fun to try guessing in what order they'll (deservedly) be picked off. The writing is so predictable I was finishing lines in my head like a movie I'd seen a hundred times. Covenant features some lovely locations and decent effects, but the "horror" is limited to gore and cheap jump scares that you'll see coming a mile out. There's a minor, but weird and unnecessary, reference to a character thinking he's considered untrustworthy for being "a person of faith." That probably got under my skin more than it should have, but it stuck out as one of the most offensively pointless spots on an almost-entirely pointless movie landscape.

 

Alien: Covenant clocks in at 122 minutes and is rated R for "sci-fi violence, bloody images, language, and some sexuality/nudity."

 

With a top-notch cast, mammoth effects, and spectacular sets, it's clear the makers of Alien: Covenant weren't shy about throwing money at the screen; however, in the immortal words of Butthead: "You can't polish a turd, Beavis." Or, as the lady behind me stage-whispered about the halfway point: "This movie stinks." Of a possible nine Weasleys, Alien: Covenant gets one.

 

Fangirl points: Billy Crudup! Country Roads! Dariusz Wolski!

 

Until next time...