MOVIE REVIEW: ALIEN: COVENANT

Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, members (Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup) of the colony ship Covenant discover what they think to be an uncharted paradise. While there, they meet David (Michael Fassbender), the synthetic survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition. The mysterious world soon turns dark and dangerous when a hostile alien life-form forces the crew into a deadly fight for survival.

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demián Bichir

Release Date: May 19, 2017

Rated R for sci-fi violence, bloody images, language and some sexuality/nudity

Runtime: 2 hr. 2 min.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Drama

Review:

Alien: Covenant is best described as Ridley Scott plays all the hits.  On Prometheus, Scott tried for some headier sci-fi, even if the human decision weren’t, but fans complained about its lack of outright Alien connections.  Publicly, Scott’s been on record as saying he’s heard these complaints and delivered Alien: Covenant.  Fans of the series will find plenty of call back to the original film all the while Scott continues threads from Prometheus.   The film itself looks beautiful, even if the scares never really come since the beats are so familiar.  Katherine Waterston is primed to be the heroine in this entry but she’s never magnetic enough to completely captivate your attention.  Michael Fassbender more than makes up for the slack while playing duel roles.  Fassbender is clearly having a ball throughout and its audience benefit as he’s the most interesting thing on screen during the entire film.  The supporting cast is made up of familiar faces but their clearly just cattle being lead to the slaughter with only Danny McBride leaving an actual impression.  Alien: Covenant is a solid entry into the prequel series that sure to leave plenty of fans happy while others will complain about certain story decision. 

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of Alien: Covenant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the latest installment in the Alien franchise, Alien: Covenant.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

Alien life forms are sometimes very dangerous. Who'da guessed??

 

Dear reader(s), in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I'll confide that I don't like the Alien movies...ANY of them. I keep giving them chances because people who like the things that I do seem to love and even revere at least some of them but...welp...let's just say this latest installment finally may have cured me of my need to figure out what I'm missing.

 

If I heeded that old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," this review would be a blank page; however, since I paid the cost of admission expressly for the privilege of writing about the movie, I shall briefly disregard that sage advice to tell you Alien: Covenant sucks so hard. I might say it was worse than Prometheus, except I didn't fall asleep in this one. Maybe I just wasn't tired yesterday, but I'm gonna be generous and concede that point. Katherine Waterston is terrible, all teary eyes and quavering voice; in fact, for a team of scientists and explorers, the minute something goes a little sideways these people lose their s**t faster than the slutty girl in those teen horror flicks. Many of the choices they make are about as stupid, too. Cardinal rules: When in doubt, don't split up and don't have sex. Pretty simple, right? This crew is so dumb it's hard to invest in any of them...more fun to try guessing in what order they'll (deservedly) be picked off. The writing is so predictable I was finishing lines in my head like a movie I'd seen a hundred times. Covenant features some lovely locations and decent effects, but the "horror" is limited to gore and cheap jump scares that you'll see coming a mile out. There's a minor, but weird and unnecessary, reference to a character thinking he's considered untrustworthy for being "a person of faith." That probably got under my skin more than it should have, but it stuck out as one of the most offensively pointless spots on an almost-entirely pointless movie landscape.

 

Alien: Covenant clocks in at 122 minutes and is rated R for "sci-fi violence, bloody images, language, and some sexuality/nudity."

 

With a top-notch cast, mammoth effects, and spectacular sets, it's clear the makers of Alien: Covenant weren't shy about throwing money at the screen; however, in the immortal words of Butthead: "You can't polish a turd, Beavis." Or, as the lady behind me stage-whispered about the halfway point: "This movie stinks." Of a possible nine Weasleys, Alien: Covenant gets one.

 

Fangirl points: Billy Crudup! Country Roads! Dariusz Wolski!

 

Until next time...