Dearest Blog, yesterday I braved the opening-day kidlet rush to see How to Train Your Dragon 2.
Spoiler level here will be as mild as possible for a movie that spoils its own biggest reveal right in the trailer.
Having
shown Berk the error of its ways as per human/dragon relations, a more
mature Hiccup faces a new challenge with his trusty dragon Toothless.
Well,
dear Blog, in all the history of film, there are four movies that I
name my "favorite," since it's impossible for me to choose among them.
The original How to Train Your Dragon is one of the four, so I could be
excused for being a bit skeptical when people (many not involved with
the production) started saying the sequel was even better than the
original. For as long as I've known that was going to be my opening to
this review, I always hoped the next sentence would involve me admitting
the error of my ways, but....oh well, let's just get on with it.
The
opening scene of How to Train Your Dragon 2, an overlong sequence of
dragon games, is the most annoying thing I've ever seen that didn't
involve Adam Sandler. Its primary purpose appears twofold: an immediate
showcase for the film's stunning digital technology, and an excuse for
each character to call his or her dragon by name, so pointedly that I
could only assume we'd really need to know the names later. (That never
happened.) The scene goes on forever, and by the end I was ready to
stand up, shout, "On Cupid! On Comet! On Donner and Blitzen!" and walk
out.
Getting the rest of the bad news out of the way: The new
characters left me totally flat, and, my dear Cate Blanchett, where on
Earth are you going with that accent?? While the first HTTYD boasted
clever humor and a sincere charm, the sequel's laughs are few and far
between, the good ones mostly poached from the original. Any charm is
buried deep by a busy storyline that never quite finds its way. Even
John Powell's score seems blah this time around.
Now, the good
news: I was afraid that the kids no longer being kids would make the
characters somehow less fun, but the returning Vikings are as lovable as
ever, just a little more grown-up looking. The dragons also retain
their charm, with even more types this time around, and if you're a pet
owner you're sure to see your favorite dog or cat in at least one of
them. How to Train Your Dragon 2 is also the most beautiful thing I've
ever seen onscreen, hands down.
Even when I was getting a little bit
bored or annoyed with whatever it was I was getting a little bit bored
or annoyed with at the time, the movie quickly brought me back around to
its side just by being so damn gorgeous. (I imagine this is what it
must be like when Matt Bomer's being a jerk...if Matt Bomer is ever a
jerk, which I highly doubt.) I'm not schooled in the art of making
movies, so I have no idea what technology filmmakers used to make HTTYD2
so good looking, but full marks are due the art department, VFX, and
animators. And the colors...oh, the colors!! Even Rio--my benchmark for
visual excellence--might as well be sepia-toned compared to HTTYD2. Time
constraints forced me into a 2D show this time, but you may rest
assured, dear readers, I'll be seeing this in 3D as soon as possible!
Normally
I go to the cinema on Saturday afternoons, when the most pressing thing
on my agenda is where I'm having dinner afterward. I saw HTTYD2 after a
miserable day at work, with a couple even-more-miserable weeks looming
ahead, so I have to admit that may have left me unable to put the world
aside to enjoy it as I should. I make that disclaimer only to clarify:
the movie's probably better than I'm ready to give it credit for at this
writing. Still, to suggest it's even as good as--let alone better
than--the original is absurd.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 clocks in at 102 minutes and is rated PG for "adventure action and some mild rude humor."
How to Train Your Dragon 2 is such a glorious feast for the eyes you'll have no problem forgiving its other shortcomings.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, How to Train Your Dragon 2 gets seven and a half.
Until next time...
"Hail Hydra."