Cindy Prascik's Review of My Spy

With reopened cinemas having nothing new to show for their trouble, this weekend I again relied on the kindness of streaming for something to watch and write about.

On the docket, the family comedy My Spy. Desperate times and all.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Already on thin ice over a botched mission, a government agent becomes entangled with the family he's meant to be observing.

My dear reader(s), way back when we had new movies in cinemas and a person sitting directly behind me could happily spit popcorn into my hair for a couple hours, trailers for My Spy ran before pretty much everything I saw. It's the kind of dopey comedy I'd never spend money to see at a cinema (unless Gary Oldman were in it), but that I will unashamedly enjoy the minute it crosses my path for free. I may be damning with faint praise when I say this movie did not disappoint.

My Spy leans heavily on the likability of its cast. The adorable Chloe Coleman steals the show from her adult costars, while Dave Bautista's talents aren't stretched too much as the not-as-dumb-as-he-looks titular spy. Parisa Fitz-Henley, Ken Jeong, and Kristen Schaal nicely round out the principals. Action sequences are fun and mild enough for younger viewers, and the humor is cute and obvious, nothing too off-color. It's the sort of predictable picture that will never set the world on fire, but it's perfect for when you just want to be entertained and not challenged. (There's that faint praise again!)

My Spy runs a quick 99 minutes and is rated PG13 for "action/violence and language."

There's nothing clever or cutting edge about My Spy, but when the world's as terrifying as it is right now, its brand of benign escapism may be just what the doctor ordered.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, My Spy gets six.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA

Two small-town singers chase their pop star dreams at a global music competition, where scheming rivals, high stakes and onstage mishaps test their bond.

Director: David Dobkin

Cast: Will Ferrell, Rachel McAdams, Pierce Brosnan, Dan Stevens, Demi Lovato

Release Date: June 26, 2020

Genres: Comedy, Music

Rated PG-13 for crude sexual material including full nude sculptures, some comic violent images, and language

Runtime: 2h 3min

Review:

There are a few things that’ll make you much more disposed to enjoying Will Ferrell’s latest farce.  If you’re a fan of Ferrell’s man child shtick and euro pop music you’ll probably find plenty to love in loving send up of the famed singing contest.  The film radiates some strong Zoolander vibes from the start even if it never quite reaches that film’s heights.  It’s a zany vibe from the start and director David Dobkin embraces the silliness which includes things like elves and a charred protector ghost and those aren’t even major story threads.  Unfortunately the film could have used some trimming here and there; it appears to be an issue with Netflix produced films all around.  There’s zero reason this type of film should be 2 hours long and while it only drag in spots it would have benefited from some savvy edits.  As is the film have some really funny portion like an after party that turns into a Eurovision cameo fest and central performance that goes horribly wrong.  Ferrell and McAdams make for a fun duo and both work off each other really well.  This film is right in Ferrell’s wheelhouse so it’s hardly a surprise but McAdams continues to show off some impressive comedic talents which is kind of hard to believe considering her early rom-com film roles.   Both are obviously have a great time but Dan Stevens nearly steals the show as their friendememy.  Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Sage is kind of escapism lark you need occasionally especially during particular time in history.  It doesn’t bring much new to the table but its funny enough to make for an enjoyable watch.  

B

MOVIE REVIEW: YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT

Strange events plague a couple and their young daughter when they rent a secluded countryside house that has a dark past.

Director: David Koepp

Cast: Kevin Bacon, Amanda Seyfried, Avery Essex, Geoff Bell, Lowri-Ann Richards

Release Date: June 18, 2020

Genres: Horror, Mystery

Rated R for some violence, disturbing images, sexual content and language

Runtime: 1h 33min

Review:

You Should Have Left is the definition of a forgettable horror thriller.  David Koepp’s film is interesting enough but it always hints at bigger idea and themes but it never follows through on its promise.  Koepp’s visual style is striking enough to keep things engaging especially once the house starts opening up.  Kevin Bacon is more than capable in the lead but there are weird tonal shifts that pop up throughout the film which makes maintaining any sort of tension a Herculean task.  Amanda Seyfried does what she can but it’s a thinly written role that leaves her feeling more like a plot tool than a fully realized character.   Avery Essex is a surprisingly effective child actress which is to the film’s benefit.  Sadly, the film itself is a mixed bag of clichés and unrealized ideas which leave you with the impression that there is a better film in there somewhere. 

C

Cindy Prascik's Review of Da 5 Bloods

My dears, the bad news this week is my cinema has reopened...with a full slate of movies I've already seen, and nothing I'd risk a deadly disease to see again. (*cough* Rocketman *cough*)

The good news is Netflix is premiering a buzzy, brand-new release from revered director Spike Lee, Da 5 Bloods.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

A group of veterans returns to Vietnam to repatriate a fallen colleague...and reclaim a hidden treasure.
The good news is Da 5 Bloods is a pretty engaging picture that doesn't feel long despite its boated runtime. It's painfully relevant, hammering home some difficult truths about the many sides to any story, the ambiguousness of "good guys" and "bad guys," and the ugliness of prejudice, even among those who are, themselves, victims of it. It boasts some nice performances (what a delight to see Norm Lewis!), and — between the festering wound that the Vietnam war remains in this country, and the historical footage and photos it uses to underline its own story — the film packs quite an emotional wallop.

The bad news is Da 5 Bloods is more predictable than the worst broadcast network police procedural. The aforementioned nice performances are countered by some legitimately terrible acting. The film's gruesome violence is so over the top as to be almost comical at times, and its melodramatic score is equally ridiculous. Finally Da 5 Bloods suffers a severe shortage of Chadwick Boseman. If you are watching this movie to see Chadwick Boseman, watch 21 Bridges instead. It's a better movie, and you'll get a lot more Chadwick for your buck.

Da 5 Bloods clocks in at 154 minutes and is rated R for, "strong violence, grisly images, and pervasive language."

I'd be hard-pressed to call Da 5 Bloods a good movie, but it's certainly an important one that's worth your time. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Da 5 Bloods gets five.

Until next time, dear reader(s), take care and stay well, and I'll hope to see you at the cinema soon!

MOVIE REVIEW: DA 5 BLOODS

Four African American vets battle the forces of man and nature when they return to Vietnam seeking the remains of their fallen squad leader and the gold fortune he helped them hide.

Director: Spike Lee

Cast: Delroy Lindo, Jonathan Majors, Clarke Peters, Norm Lewis, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Mélanie Thierry, Paul Walter Hauser, Jasper Pääkkönen, Jean Reno

Release Date: June 12, 2020

Genres: Drama, War

Rated R for strong violence, grisly images and pervasive language

Runtime: 2h 35min

Review:

Da 5 Bloods is a film that has a lot on its mind.  Spike Lee foregoes subtly and delivers a timely but decidedly didactic treaty on race which feels incredibly timely given the current state of the world.   Lee’s visuals here are impressively aggressive throughout with aspect ratios changing based on time periods and news reel footage interspaced to highlight film some of his points.  The story itself feels like a something for the late 70s or 80s Vietnam films which is clearly intentional.  The cast is stellar across the board with Delroy Lindo delivering some of his best work in his storied career.  It’s always great to see The Wire alums get a spotlight and both Clarke Peter and Isiah Whitlock Jr. both deliver excellent work here.  Those expecting Chadwick Boseman to be a major part of the film will likely walk away disappointed since his character gets limited screen time even though he’s one of the driving forces in the story.  While the basic plot is fairly basic, Lee uses multiple techniques to keep the story engaging but its hard not to notice that there could have been some cuts here or there to make the film tighter.  As is, the film moves at a snail’s pace working better as a series of character studies and history lesson. 

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Decline of Western Civilization, Part II: The Metal Years

Good news this week! Cinemas in West Virginia will be reopening next weekend, so hopefully soon we'll have something new to talk about. Until then, let's revisit a sentimental favorite of mine: the Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years. With Ratt's classic 80s nugget Round and Round having made its way back to the Top 40 (thanks, Geico!), it feels timely!

Following the original Decline's look at the world of punk rock, director Penelope Spheeris dives into the 80s Sunset Strip scene with Decline II.

This will be more of a discussion than a review, so do expect spoilers.

I was 21, almost 22 when the Metal Years was released. The 80s were my heyday, and if there's a band in this movie I haven't met, I've probably at least talked on the phone or exchanged letters (remember those?) with them. I am, perhaps, too close to the subject matter to be entirely objective, but, looking at it with 53-year-old eyes...perhaps not.

Artists featured in the Metal Years are fairly easily divided into three groups: bona fide rock stars (Lemmy, KISS, Alice Cooper, Ozzy, Poison, Aerosmith, Megadeth), the real up-and-comers (Faster Pussycat, Vixen, WASP), and the wannabes, ranging from groups like Odin and London, who were actually gigging on the Strip at that time but didn't get much further, to random kids the film doesn't even bother calling by name, all of whom are absolutely certain they'll soon be taking their rightful places among rock's royalty. Interviews tend to take two roads: wild tales of debauchery, and plans for stardom that are confidently spoken, but loosely planned at best. Sometimes it plays like a hilarious parade of idiots; sometimes it's just sad.

Decline II's subjects freely discuss sex, drugs, and rock n' roll, and it is glaringly apparent how poorly their attitudes and affectations have aged. KISS' Paul Stanley is interviewed in bed with a bevy of scantily-clad women who bat their eyelashes seductively and giggle on cue. His bandmate Gene Simmons overtly gives a female shop employee a bawdy once-over and unconvincingly pretends to be distracted by her looks. Bill Gazzarri is every bit the creeper as he oversees a tacky dance contest at his legendary club, its aspiring model and actress contestants rivaling the rock-star hopefuls with their vacant looks and dopey comments. Cathouse's Rikki Rachtman gleefully relates how his club never turns on its air-conditioning so its female patrons won't wear too many clothes. Members of the less (and not-at-all) famous groups tell rude tales with which I'm sure they hoped to shock their female interviewer. It's all too stupid to be genuinely offensive, but it is willfully grotesque and the opposite of cool to anyone whose emotional growth wasn't stunted in their early teens. It also raises the interesting question of how much change the the #timesup / #metoo era has brought to a business where this sort of behavior has not been accepted as a dark secret, but rather has been encouraged and considered a matter of pride. Maybe the subject of the next great documentary?

Not everyone featured in Decline II comports themselves so poorly. A remarkably coherent (if a little bumbling) Ozzy Osbourne fixes breakfast while opining wisely and amusingly about the ups and downs of the industry. Standing high in the Hollywood Hills, Lemmy is clever, tough, and entirely unintimidated by...well...anything. I mean, he's Lemmy, right? Members of Megadeth pragmatically explain that it's all about the music for them, while Alice Cooper and Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Joe Perry frankly discuss their many excesses, minus lesser mortals' clumsy attempts to shock for shock's sake.

Decline II's best and worst moments collide in Spheeris' meeting with WASP's Chris Holmes. The interview was unexpectedly rescheduled, leaving a fresh-off-the-road Holmes exhausted, intoxicated, and floating, fully dressed, in a swimming pool while alternately guzzling from a bottle of booze and pouring its contents over himself. His mother sits poolside, looking on with what must have been a broken heart as Holmes calls himself a "pile of crap," and remarks, "I don't dig being the person I am." It is a brutal, heartbreaking look at the ugly side of stardom, and — though yesterday was the first time I'd seen the movie in more than 30 years — it is a picture that has haunted me every minute since the first time I watched it. Spheeris' questions are neither mean nor indulgent, and Holmes' responses are uncontrived. It is a painful, memorable, very real bit in a movie that might otherwise be brushed off as a superficial memoir of a goofy dot on the rock history map.

Three decades on, it's impossible to watch the Metal Years without at least a tiny bit of sadness. I fear many of the wannabees didn't survive the 80s, though in my heart I hope they're all happy being accountants or insurance agents these days, with white picket fences, a few kids, and maybe bands that rehash 80s hits on weekends. Against all odds, Chris Holmes is alive and well, and continues to make music (https://www.facebook.com/ChrisHolmesOfficial/). There's a lot I still love about hair metal and the scene in general, and about this film in particular. We still repeat many of the funny and stupid quotes at my house, some so often that I'd forgotten this was the source until I rewatched it yesterday. I've never stopped listening to Faster Pussycat; I still think they're fantastic. And, even if he's a bit of a goof, I stan Riki Rachtman.

The Decline of Western Civilization, Part II: the Metal Years, clocks in at 93 minutes and is rated R for language, adult content, brief nudity, smoking, drug use, and, if I may add, generally poor taste, all of which probably make its subjects very, very proud. It is now streaming for free on Amazon Prime.

I'm too nostalgic to objectively point you towards the Decline of Western Civilization, Part II, as a great documentary, but it's a sometimes fun, sometimes sobering, sometimes downright embarrassing trip down memory lane.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Decline of Western Civilization, Part II gets eight.

Until next time, dear reader(s), please stay safe and well, and I'll see you at the cinema very, very soon!