Cindy Prascik's Review of The Old Guard

With local cinemas still struggling to get by on a diet of classics and films whose theatrical releases were interrupted by Covid_19, this week I again threw myself on the mercy of streaming services. I really wanted to watch the Tom Hanks movie, but I don't have Apple+ and I *do* have Netflix, so...the Old Guard it was.

Spoiler level here will be moderate, likely nothing a trailer wouldn’t have revealed if you saw one, which I did not.

A team of immortal mercenaries struggles to keep its existence secret while unexpectedly finding another of their kind.

I have to admit, dear reader(s), that the Old Guard couldn't quite hold my attention for its duration, though, in fairness, little does these days. The world as it stands is difficult to keep at bay, and it's tough to avoid distractions and interruptions outside the cinema. That aside, the movie does try a bit too hard at times, and some of the dialogue is awkwardly written or awkwardly delivered, or maybe both. It probably could have used at least a small trim as well.

Despite those few small quibbles, the Old Guard gets it mostly right. Characters who have lived for hundreds of years have volumes of backstory, and the movie provides enough, but never bogs down with explaining itself. Its action is well spaced and well paced, and the fight choreography is really good. Characters and those portraying them, faces familiar and not, are engaging; there isn't one of the principals I didn't want to learn more about. Charlize Theron is fantastic, as always, in the lead, and the supporting cast is pitch perfect, too. The Old Guard is beautifully diverse, but never for the sake of it. Everything feels organic; the movie doesn't beat its audience over the head to make a point. The story winds to a nice finish, but definitely leaves plenty of room for prequels or sequels if the demand is there.

The Old Guard clocks in at 125 minutes, and is rated R for "sequences of graphic violence and language."

The Old Guard is a smart, solid action flick that wouldn't have felt out of place in a normal summer of blockbuster superhero fare.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Old Guard gets seven and a half. Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: THE OLD GUARD

A group of mercenaries, all centuries-old immortals with the ablity to heal themselves, discover someone is onto their secret, and they must fight to protect their freedom.

Director: Gina Prince-Bythewood

Cast: Charlize Theron, KiKi Layne, Matthias Schoenaerts, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli, Chiwetel Ejiofor

Release Date: July 10, 2020

Genres: Action, Fantasy

Rated R for sequences of graphic violence, and language.

Runtime: 2h 5min

Review:

Charlize Theron is one of those actresses that make pretty much any production better simply by taking part in it.  She’s the type of performer that’s always interesting especially when she has a role that’s meaty enough for her talents.  The Old Guard offers an intriguing and fun role for her even if it doesn’t take full advantage of her talents.  Gina Prince-Bythewood directs the film with an impressive bit of energy even if the story covers some well worn tropes in the comic book genre.  The film’s action sequences are impressively choreographed with some of them being particularly brutal ballets of destructions.  The quieter moments have varying levels of effectiveness with some feeling like genuine character building moments while others feel like they could have been left on the cutting room floor.  The cast plays well off each other even if KiKi Layne comes off as a bit stiff in here and there but for the most part the ensemble make for an engaging group.  Sadly, Chiwetel Ejiofor isn’t used nearly enough which seems like a major misstep and the villain played by Harry Melling is about as stereotypical as they come.  The story does suffer from being a franchise starter with the finale leave a massive open door for future installments.  As a result, it feels like the film doesn’t explore the story to its fullest potential with a handful of story threads left unexplored. 

B-

MOVIE REVIEW: THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND

Scott has been a case of arrested development since his firefighter dad died. He spends his days smoking weed and dreaming of being a tattoo artist until events force him to grapple with his grief and take his first steps forward in life.

Director: Judd Apatow

Cast: Pete Davidson, Marisa Tomei, Bill Burr, Bel Powley, Maude Apatow, Steve Buscemi, Pamela Adlon

Release Date: June 26, 2020

Genres: Comedy, Drama

Rated R for language and drug use throughout, sexual content and some violence/bloody images

Runtime: 2h 16min

Review:

The King of Staten Island offers more than it looks like on its surface.  Sure it’s another Apatow exploration of a man stuck in arrested development but there is a bit more here than usual.  It’s very funny in spots and touching in others with a large part of the pathos coming from Davidson’s proximity to the subject matter.  Since the primary portion of the plot hits close to home for him, his performance is impressive and heartfelt as he avoids any moments of self parody.  It’ll come as a surprise to people who have never seen him outside of skits on SNL, it’s a pleasant surprise but it can’t mask some of the films overall issues. Apatow, after all these years, is still terribly unfocused as a director and it really shows here.  There are multiple sequences that feel like they need some strong edits and tightening overall.  Tone also tends to shift sporadically over the course of the film which lessens the impact of some moments.  Luckily for Apatow his film is stocked with excellent supporting players like Maisa Tomei, Bill Burr, Pamela Adlon and Steve Buscemi.  Together they make the film feel much breezier than you’d expect for a film that’s over 2 hours long.  This film won’t be considered a classic like Knocked Up or 40 Year Old Virgin but it’s definitely one of his better films in recent memory. 

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of My Spy

With reopened cinemas having nothing new to show for their trouble, this weekend I again relied on the kindness of streaming for something to watch and write about.

On the docket, the family comedy My Spy. Desperate times and all.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Already on thin ice over a botched mission, a government agent becomes entangled with the family he's meant to be observing.

My dear reader(s), way back when we had new movies in cinemas and a person sitting directly behind me could happily spit popcorn into my hair for a couple hours, trailers for My Spy ran before pretty much everything I saw. It's the kind of dopey comedy I'd never spend money to see at a cinema (unless Gary Oldman were in it), but that I will unashamedly enjoy the minute it crosses my path for free. I may be damning with faint praise when I say this movie did not disappoint.

My Spy leans heavily on the likability of its cast. The adorable Chloe Coleman steals the show from her adult costars, while Dave Bautista's talents aren't stretched too much as the not-as-dumb-as-he-looks titular spy. Parisa Fitz-Henley, Ken Jeong, and Kristen Schaal nicely round out the principals. Action sequences are fun and mild enough for younger viewers, and the humor is cute and obvious, nothing too off-color. It's the sort of predictable picture that will never set the world on fire, but it's perfect for when you just want to be entertained and not challenged. (There's that faint praise again!)

My Spy runs a quick 99 minutes and is rated PG13 for "action/violence and language."

There's nothing clever or cutting edge about My Spy, but when the world's as terrifying as it is right now, its brand of benign escapism may be just what the doctor ordered.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, My Spy gets six.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA

Two small-town singers chase their pop star dreams at a global music competition, where scheming rivals, high stakes and onstage mishaps test their bond.

Director: David Dobkin

Cast: Will Ferrell, Rachel McAdams, Pierce Brosnan, Dan Stevens, Demi Lovato

Release Date: June 26, 2020

Genres: Comedy, Music

Rated PG-13 for crude sexual material including full nude sculptures, some comic violent images, and language

Runtime: 2h 3min

Review:

There are a few things that’ll make you much more disposed to enjoying Will Ferrell’s latest farce.  If you’re a fan of Ferrell’s man child shtick and euro pop music you’ll probably find plenty to love in loving send up of the famed singing contest.  The film radiates some strong Zoolander vibes from the start even if it never quite reaches that film’s heights.  It’s a zany vibe from the start and director David Dobkin embraces the silliness which includes things like elves and a charred protector ghost and those aren’t even major story threads.  Unfortunately the film could have used some trimming here and there; it appears to be an issue with Netflix produced films all around.  There’s zero reason this type of film should be 2 hours long and while it only drag in spots it would have benefited from some savvy edits.  As is the film have some really funny portion like an after party that turns into a Eurovision cameo fest and central performance that goes horribly wrong.  Ferrell and McAdams make for a fun duo and both work off each other really well.  This film is right in Ferrell’s wheelhouse so it’s hardly a surprise but McAdams continues to show off some impressive comedic talents which is kind of hard to believe considering her early rom-com film roles.   Both are obviously have a great time but Dan Stevens nearly steals the show as their friendememy.  Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Sage is kind of escapism lark you need occasionally especially during particular time in history.  It doesn’t bring much new to the table but its funny enough to make for an enjoyable watch.  

B

MOVIE REVIEW: YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT

Strange events plague a couple and their young daughter when they rent a secluded countryside house that has a dark past.

Director: David Koepp

Cast: Kevin Bacon, Amanda Seyfried, Avery Essex, Geoff Bell, Lowri-Ann Richards

Release Date: June 18, 2020

Genres: Horror, Mystery

Rated R for some violence, disturbing images, sexual content and language

Runtime: 1h 33min

Review:

You Should Have Left is the definition of a forgettable horror thriller.  David Koepp’s film is interesting enough but it always hints at bigger idea and themes but it never follows through on its promise.  Koepp’s visual style is striking enough to keep things engaging especially once the house starts opening up.  Kevin Bacon is more than capable in the lead but there are weird tonal shifts that pop up throughout the film which makes maintaining any sort of tension a Herculean task.  Amanda Seyfried does what she can but it’s a thinly written role that leaves her feeling more like a plot tool than a fully realized character.   Avery Essex is a surprisingly effective child actress which is to the film’s benefit.  Sadly, the film itself is a mixed bag of clichés and unrealized ideas which leave you with the impression that there is a better film in there somewhere. 

C