Cindy Prascik's Review of The Last Thing He Wanted

This weekend the never-ending Quest for Quality Home Viewing lead me to a Netflix nugget called the Last Thing He Wanted. While the Last Thing He Wanted boasts a hilariously discouraging five (5) percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, it stars Oscar winners Ben Affleck and Anne Hathaway, both of whom I adore. How bad could it be? Well...

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish.

Hathaway portrays Elena McMahon, a journalist who, thanks to her no-good father, gets mixed up in her own story about Central American arms dealing.

The Last Thing He Wanted has many moving pieces. SO many moving pieces. Rather than shifting them craftily around a chess-board of a film, the movie throws them in the air a-la 52 Pickup. I'm not sure they all come down. Players move in and out of frame — revealing and concealing motives — as the picture's various paths attempt to converge on one cohesive road. Hathaway does a good job in the lead. Some of her dialogue is clunky, but she's a bit of a bright spot in a movie that has few enough. A weirdly-shiny Affleck "enjoys" less screen time, and certainly does less with it. His character is pretty obvious, so most or even all of that may not be his fault. The picture boasts an impressive list of supporting talent, including Willem Dafoe, Rosie Perez, Edi Gathegi, and the always wonderful Toby Jones. As terrifying as McMahon's trip down the rabbit hole is, the Last Thing He Wanted never sustains much tension, as most of the characters prove to be exactly what you suspect they are from the first time you see them. A political thriller like this obviously features its share of violence, and one particularly disturbing scene will bother me long after I've forgotten the rest. I am here to warn you, this movie offers you nothing that's worth having this image in your head forever. Having said ALL of that, I didn't hate the Last Thing He Wanted. I didn't hate it right up to the last minute...when it did exactly what I knew it was going to do from the first minute. Then I hated it.

The Last Thing He Wanted runs 115 minutes and is rated R for "language, some violence, disturbing images, and brief nudity."

At risk of stealing a phrase I feel certain already must have been used to describe this movie, the Last Thing He Wanted truly is the last thing any of us wanted. (But Anne and Ben, I still love you and will always watch whatever you do!) Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Last Thing He Wanted gets two.

Until next time, dear reader(s), I hope you all are staying safe and sane as this crisis drags on, and I hope to see you at the cinema very soon!

MOVIE REVIEW: THE LOVEBIRDS

On the brink of breaking up, a couple gets unintentionally embroiled in a bizarre murder mystery. As they get closer to clearing their names and solving the case, they need to figure out how they, and their relationship, can survive the night.

Director: Michael Showalter

Cast: Issa Rae, Kumail Nanjiani, Paul Sparks, Anna Camp, Kyle Bornheimer

Release Date: May 22, 2020

Action, Comedy, Crime

Rated R for sexual content, language throughout and some violence

Runtime: 1 h 26 min

Review:

The Lovebirds doesn’t offer anything new or groundbreaking, if you’ve seen comedy capers like Game Night or Date Night then you’ll know what to expect.  Michael Showalter seems to know that the plot isn’t the strength of this film so he lets his stars carry it from start to finish.  It’s a great decision since Issa Rae and Kumail Nanjiani work so well together on screen with their brand of comedy meshing perfectly.  Issa Rae finally has a big screen vehicle to show off her immense talent.  Those that have already seen her HBO show Insecure will be well versed in her excellent timing but those being exposed for the first time will find plenty to like about her.  Rae has an effortless screen presence and which is matched by Nanjiani.  Both drive the film brisk runtime, its plot is like a goof ball Eyes Wide Shut, as they move from one wacky set piece to another.  There aren’t many curve balls so it’s the definition of a light fun comedy which can be the best kind of escapism. 


B+

MOVIE REVIEW: THE WRONG MISSY

Disaster strikes when a man invites his dream girl to an island resort -- but a previous blind date shows up instead.

Director: Tyler Spindel

Cast: David Spade, Lauren Lapkus, Molly Sims, Geoff Pierson, Jackie Sandler, Sarah Chalke, Nick Swardson

Release Date: May 13, 2020

Comedy, Romance

Not rated

Runtime: 1 h 30 min

Review:

The Wrong Missy feels like a long lost artifact from the late 2000’s comedies like The Heartbreak Kid or Couples Retreat.  It’s an over the top raucous comedy with the simplest of plots that plays out exactly the way you’d expect.  The script in The Wrong Missy doesn’t miss any opportunity to take the most obvious joke and run with it.  Thankfully director Tyler Spindel keeps things moving at a breezy pace never letting much linger on screen for too long which really helps the movie overall.  David Spade leads the film with his signature straight man act but he seems disinterested and is rarely engaging like he was in some of those 90s films everyone remembers from him.  The real life blood of the film is Lauren Lapkus whose manic energy makes the whole thing run.  Lapkus is the type of character actress that’s popped up in supporting roles all over the place over the last few years with this being her first real time to shine.  She runs with it and makes the whole thing watchable and ultimately fun.  The Wrong Missy is the kind of disposable comedy you’ll forget about shortly after you finish it but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a goofy vulgar ride. 

C

MOVIE REVIEW: CAPONE

Chronicling the final days of notorious gangster Al Capone as he succumbs to dementia and relives his past through tormenting memories.

Director: Josh Trank

Cast: Tom Hardy, Linda Cardellini, Jack Lowden, Noel Fisher, Kyle MacLachlan,  Matt Dillon

Release Date: May 12, 2020

Biography, Crime, Drama

Rated R for strong/bloody violence, pervasive language and some sexuality

Runtime: 1 h 43 min

Review:

Capone, a messy misfire, makes Josh Trank’s first film Chronicle look like beginner’s luck more than signs of greatness.  Trank has a ripe bit of story that could have been genuinely interesting and a game star but what he delivers is a messy and boring film that never takes advantage of any of it.  Instead we get a film where Tom Hardy where he’s buried under horrible zombie like make up as he uses an interesting voice inflection before he devolves into communicating through grunts.  Adding into the strangeness, Hardy is given two occasions to sing because why not.  The supporting cast tries their best to do what they can with their roles but it’s a lost cause as this relatively short film feels incredibly long.  Those hoping there’d be some sort of deep dive into Capone’s madness or even his past will be left disappointed.  There’s a scene early on in the film with Hardy’s Capone loses his bodily functions while sleeping, it’s an apt statement about the film in general.


D

Cindy Prascik's Review of Bloodshot

This week's home cinema offering, Bloodshot, features Vin Diesel as a fallen soldier reanimated with enhanced abilities.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Bloodshot actually hit my theater a week or two before the Great Shutdown of 2020, but for some reason I didn't make it out, despite my great love of Vin Diesel. I think "for some reason" may be that the movie just didn't look all that good, but I'm pleased to report it's not as bad as I'd feared.

Despite the whole "enhanced abilities" thing, Bloodshot isn't really a superhero movie. If a franchise ensues (as I understand is the intent), it may become that, but it's not there yet. That's neither good nor bad, but in the interest of full and fair disclosure it's worth noting. Vin Diesel is quite good, and the role is a good fit for him. It's nothing too challenging or too different from his usual fare, but there's something to be said for knowing your strengths and sticking with them. Bloodshot is violent, but not overly gory, and sometimes goofy enough to undermine itself. The movie features well-paced action, a likable cast, and nifty effects, an entertaining enough bit of fluff despite its lack of originality.

Bloodshot runs 109 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of violence, some suggestive material, and language."

Even in a crisis-free world, Bloodshot was never going to set the world on fire, but it's a solid enough precursor to the usual summer slate of superhero fare.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Bloodshot gets six and a half.

Until next time...stay safe and sane, dear reader(s)!

MOVIE REVIEW: VALLEY GIRL

A valley girl and a punk rocker from the city defy their parents and friends to stay together.

Director: Rachel Lee Goldenberg

Cast: Jessica Rothe, Josh Whitehouse, Mae Whitman, Judy Greer

Release Date: May 8, 2020

Genres: Comedy, Musical, Romance

Rated PG-13 for teen partying, language, some suggestive material, and brief nudity

Runtime: 1h 42min

Review:

The Valley Girl remake, much like the Hairspray remake before it, takes a beloved 80s cult classic and sprays a fresh coat of gloss and glitter to deliver a fizzy and nostalgic candy coated pill.  Rachel Lee Goldenberg is respectful of the original but it’d be fair to call it more of a spiritual remake than a straight up remake.  The original captured a specific moment in time and Nic Cage’s first real introduction to the world with all his general weirdness on full display.  This remake drops all that and goes super colorful with rose colored glasses of nostalgia.  A new framing sequence explains the jukebox musical element early on letting the filmmaker go all in with their conceit.  The musical sequences are all well choreographed with one near the middle truly shining with three separate 80s jams going back and forth.  Jessica Rothe sits firmly at the center of this film and she’s always the most interesting person on screen.  She just has an innate magnetism that shines through every sequence much like her work in Happy Death Day.  Rothe drives the film and makes a solid on screen couple with Josh Whitehouse who looks like a tall Great Value Robert Pattinson.  He’s charming and charismatic enough to work for this film but those yearning for Nic Cage’s take will be disappointed.  Mae Whitman gives a nice supporting turn even if her character is both superfluous and underused.  Ultimately, if you love the original you’ll probably enjoy this one since it’s different enough to enjoy on its own.   On its own accord it’s a fun little film that’s got the caloric value of a donut. 

B