MOVIE REVIEW: UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS

Death dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) must fend off brutal attacks from both the Lycan clan and the vampire faction that betrayed her. Joining forces with allies David (Theo James) and Thomas (Peter Andersson), she embarks on a quest to end the eternal war between the two races, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice.

Director: Anna Foerster

Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Charles Dance, Tobias Menzies

Release Date: Jan 06, 2017

Rated R f or strong bloody violence, and some sexuality

Runtime: 1 hr. 31 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror

Review:

Underworld: Blood Wars is exactly what you would expect from this 5^th entry into the on going franchise.  Kate Beckinsale slips back into her latex bodysuit with relative ease but the film’s biggest failing is taking her off screen for large chunks of time to deal with an unnecessarily convoluted plot.  While Game of Throne alums, Charles Dance and Tobias Menzies, are welcome additions to the series, Beckinsale is the reason people turn out to these films.  Anna Foerster delivers the same stylish wire work action people have come to expect and I appreciate that she’s trying to deliver a meatier plot.  Unfortunately, she loses sight of the fact that this series has always been a solid B movie franchise with a singular star.  Losing focus on Beckinsale’s Selene is a major misstep and severely limits how enjoyable this film is.

C

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Hidden Figures & Underworld: Blood Wars

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a pair of unlikely bedfellows: Hidden Figures and Underworld: Blood Wars.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

First up: Hidden Figures.

 

A trio of female, African-American mathematicians helps put America's first man in orbit.

Things you've probably guessed about Hidden Figures: It boasts excellent performances from Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and a noteworthy supporting cast, and tells a compelling story about some unsung heroes of the early space race. Something you might not have guessed: Hidden Figures is actually a lot of fun, like, legitimate, ear-to-ear smiling fun. That's not to say the movie is without its disturbing and serious moments--the early sixties weren't a super-easy time for women or people of color in these United States--but overall I am shocked by how entertaining this picture is. Hidden Figures goes light on the math-ey details (thank goodness) and instead presents a lively tale of three determined ladies who changed the face of the nation for the better and forever. Cut with snippets of historical footage, the movie provides a timely and important message about the harmfulness of prejudice, the value of everyone's contributions, and, yes, even the importance of the right bathroom facilities.

 

Hidden Figures runs 127 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic elements and some language."

 

Hidden Figures sheds welcome light on a little-known bit of American history in uplifting fashion, kicking off 2017 in fine form. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hidden Figures gets seven and a half.

 

Fangirl Points: Taraji (one of my best girl-crushes), and Aldis Hodge!

 

Next on the docket: Underworld: Blood Wars.

 

Betrayed by her own kind, a world-weary Selene is drawn back into the Vampire/Lycan war.

 

The most recent Underworld installment has a cheap television feel to it, right down to the "previously on..." segment that kicks it off. The story is unimaginative, with dialogue straight out of a 14-year-old's AO3 fanfic, BUT...you officially may file this movie under "so awful it's almost great." The rehash of previous installments is a waste of time--you wouldn't have trouble following this empty-headed nonsense even if you'd never seen an Underworld movie before--and the picture suffers a few dull spells where the lovely Kate Beckinsale is nowhere to be found. Theo James does the best he can with his silly, underwritten role, and Bradley James is a brooding highlight who appears poised to carry the franchise forward, should anyone feel that's really necessary. Blood Wars has a properly gloomy look and feel, with a melodramatic score and a good deal of stylized, slow-mo action, but it's always a bit disappointing when flippin' vampires and flippin' werewolves end up taking each other out with plain old handguns. Highlight/lowlight of Blood Wars: A Vampire Elder, in all his gravitas, sends off one of his warriors with a smirk and a smack on the ass, just like your garden-variety first-base coach.

 

Underworld: Blood Wars clocks in at 91 minutes and is rated R for "strong, bloody violence and some sexuality."

 

Blood Wars is dopey fun, as unnecessary a sequel as ever there was. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Underworld: Blood Wars gets five.

 

Fangirl Points: Theo James, ever since he had deadly relations with Lady Mary Crawley!

 

Until next time... 

 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: JACKIE

In the immediate aftermath of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, his wife Jacqueline Kennedy (Natalie Portman) deals with her immense grief while making plans for his funeral procession. Confiding in her close friend and secretary Nancy Tuckerman (Greta Gerwig), as well as her brother-in-law Robert Kennedy (Peter Sarsgaard), Jackie tries to care for her young family as a bereaved nation watches on. Pablo Larrain directed this nonlinear biopic. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi

 Director: Pablo Larrain 

Cast: Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Greta Gerwig, Billy Crudup, Beth Grant.

Release Date: Dec 02, 2016

Rated for R some Language and Brief Strong Violence

Runtime: 1 hr. 39 min.

Genres: Documentary

Review:

Pablo Larrain’s fascinating biopic about Jackie Kennedy is an incredibly power piece of filmmaking.  It’s a disorienting movie that takes you through the throws of grief on a personal level.  Natalie Portman is pitch perfect as the titular first lady.  It’s a deeply layered performance throughout.  Portman is able to go through so many psychological levels with impressive ease.  It’s a multilayered performance covers everything from grief, public persona and legacy building all rolled into one.  Larrain’s film isn’t your typical biopic in that it’s also concerned with myth making and how history can be created or skewed.  It’s a dense bit of story telling filled with excellent performances all around.

A

Cindy Prascik's Top 10 Films of 2016...and Other Assorted Notes!

Dearest Blog: Here we sit, on the first square of the first page of a brand new calendar. Last year will be remembered for extraordinary losses--in both number and impact--but there were good times to be had at the cinema, almost always. 

What follows will hopefully remind you, dear reader(s), of some of those good times...and maybe some of the other times too. 

Disclaimer #1: Around here most of the awards contenders turn up all at once, for a single week, just before the Oscars. The Academy and I sometimes (*cough*) don't see eye to eye, but it's fair to guess this list would look at least a little different if I'd seen La La Land, Manchester by the Sea, Nocturnal Animals, Moonlight, and/or Lion, to name just a few. 

Disclaimer #2: A movie's original Weasley score will not necessarily be reflected in its year-end positioning. Time and repeat screenings (or the lack of opportunity for same) may favor or handicap some films. 

So...let's start with the good, then, shall we? My Top 10 Movies of 2016  

"The soul of our country is at stake."  

10. The Purge: Election Year The third outing in the Purge series didn't quite match its nearly-perfect middle installment, but timely subject matter, stunning visuals, and another strong leading turn by Frank Grillo make Election Year one of 2016's best offerings.  

"God doesn't have children. He's a bachelor. And very angry!"  

9. Hail, Caesar! Behind-the-scenes machinations at a 1950s movie studio drive this clever comedy from the Coen brothers, blessed with a terrific all-star cast and some wonderful choreography by Tony Award winner Christopher Gattelli.  

"It is time to follow my own path."  

8. Kubo and the Two Strings 2016 was a super year for animation. Moana, Sing, Finding Dory, and even the Secret Life of Pets could have made a run at this list, but, in the end, beautiful storytelling, combined with stunning and unique art, set Kubo and the Two Strings head and shoulders above the rest. Bonus: Regina Spektor's lovely cover of the Beatles' While My Guitar Gently Weeps over the end credits.  

"I've killed things from other worlds before." 

7. Batman v. Superman Yeah, Internet, you hated it; I got that, but I absolutely loved DC's much-maligned Justice League opening act. The baddies were well and properly bad, the good guys were brooding, and the story effectively laid the groundwork for what's to come. Ben Affleck's Batman/Bruce Wayne was universally praised, and if you thought BVS was humorless...well...you just weren't paying attention. ("I like those shoes!")  

"I never met nobody got away with anything, ever."  

6. Hell or High Water This masterful little heist tale is blessed with stellar peformances, a compelling story, and one of the more satisfying and perfectly-suited endings I've ever seen. Do. Not. Miss.

"You're different. Sooner or later, different scares people."  

5. The Accountant Ben Affleck was kinda the highlight of my 2016 cinema year, following his perfect Batman with a strong, authentic turn as a socially-awkward mathematical genius in this mesmerizing thriller.  

"Fear of death is what keeps us alive."  

4. Star Trek Beyond The latest installment in Hollywood's best franchise may well be its most fun yet. The story's exciting, the one-liners always hit the mark, and the ensemble is my favorite of any film franchise. (RIP, dear Anton Yelchin.)

"So far, so good." 

3. The Magnificent Seven The Magnificent Seven remake is a rare beast in today's Hollywoodland. It's an old-school Western. It doesn't shoehorn in a romance, bloat itself with never-ending fight or chase scenes, or attempt to set up a sequel. The film boasts gorgeous cinematography, a perfect cast, and well-timed, genuinely funny humor. The very definition of "must see."

"We were normal, and the rest of the world was crazy."  

2. The Beatles: Eight Days a Week-The Touring Years Eight Days a Week is a cheerful look at the early days of the world's biggest, best, and most influential band. It's a nice reminder that John, Paul, George, and Ringo are more than monumentally talented individuals; first and foremost, they're four pals who thought they could make a go of their little band and got caught up in a tornado of worldwide superstardom. Peppered with snippets of their magical tunes, behind-the-scenes clips, and interviews with the four lads and assorted others who experienced Beatlemania firsthand, Eight Days a Week is a joyous experience.

"I had to question the mermaids! What were you doing while I was working?"  

1. The Nice Guys From its first trailer, The Nice Guys very nearly cemented a place on my ALL-TIME favorites list, and the finished product more than lived up to that promise, earning it the year's top spot. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling are brilliant as a pair of mismatched private investigators on the trail of a missing girl. This is a movie that ticks all the boxes: fantastic performances, exciting action, a smart, surprising mystery, and spot-on humor...an all-'round perfect cinema experience. I'm confident even the most-favored of the critical darlings could not have knocked this one out of my number-one spot.  

Movies It Hurt Me to Leave Out (Honorable Mentions)  

Eddie the Eagle: A fun, fictionalized story about English Olympian Eddie Edwards, with entertaining performances by Taron Edgerton and Hugh Jackman. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-Out of the Shadows: The most fun I had at the movies this year, and something I've watched over and over again since getting the DVD.  

Bleed for This: A fascinating comeback story anchored by Miles Teller's outstanding lead. 

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: This kick-start of a whole new Harry Potter series is well acted, beautifully filmed, and utterly magical.  

Anthropoid: Magnificent performances (especially from Cillian Murphy) elevate this meticulous WWII story far above its big-budget competition.  

Deadpool: Sharp wit and Ryan Reynolds' hilarious leading turn shook up the superhero business in 2016. Some of the more juvenile bits wear thin on repeat viewings, but, still, a fun outing.  

Suicide Squad: It plays like a series of frenetic music videos, but nifty visuals, Will Smith's unyielding magnetism, and a star turn from Margo Robbie make Suicide Squad worth watching.  

Triple 9: A tense thriller with a superb cast. Real edge-of-your-seat cinema.  

Moana/Sing/Finding Dory/The Secret Life of Pets: Strong year for animation, don't think I saw a bad animated film in 2016.  

2015 Winners I Didn't See in Time for Last Year's List Spotlight, which certainly would have made the cut. 

The Revenant, which would have had a fair chance based solely on the beauty of its locations.  

2016: The Year of the Disappointing Sequel London Has Fallen, Captain America: Civil War (only Black Panther saves this lumbering bore), X-Men: Apocalypse, Independence Day: Resurgence, Jason Bourne (I liked you better when you were Jeremy Renner), Snow White & the Huntsman, Mechanic: Resurrection (shoulda stayed dead), Inferno, and Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (please go back, the first one was good), all failed to live up to even middling expectations set by their predecessors. 

On the other hand, Alice: Through the Looking Glass actually wasn't half as bad as the original! 2016's Bottom of the Barrel (a.k.a. I Paid to See That??) Gods of Egypt, which is actually so terrible it's almost great. The Bronze, one of the worst movies I've EVER seen. Hardcore Henry, worse than The Bronze. The Legend of Tarzan, but at least they didn't make Skarsgard do that yodel-thing onscreen. Assassin's Creed, no...just no.  

2016: The Year Jack Huston Made Such Bad Movies That Pride & Prejudice & Zombies Was Actually the BEST! (Not counting Hail, Caesar!, in which he turns up for all of 60 seconds.) And Ben Hur reviews apparently scared him off social media. 

Come back, Jack...I miss you! *cries*  

2016: How to Spit-Shine A Hero Sully: YES. Snowden: NO. 

And The Winner Is... 

Best Actor: Ryan Gosling (The Nice Guys)

Best Actress: Jessica Chastain (Miss Sloane) 

Best Supporting Actor: Ben Foster (Hell or High Water) 

Best Supporting Actress: Kate Winslet (Triple 9) 

Best Director: Ethan & Joel Coen (Hail, Caesar!) 

So, dear reader(s), there you have my take on the year just ended. May the new one be happy and healthy for you all. See you at Marquee Cinemas!!

Cindy Prascik's Review of Fences

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Today it was off to Marquee Cinemas to spend the afternoon with my favorite leading man, Denzel Washington, doing double-duty as director and star of August Wilson's Fences. 

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. A family in 1950s Pittsburgh struggles with an imperfect home life and its place in a changing world. 

 

August Wilson's Fences is storytelling at its finest. It needs no bells or whistles to grab your attention and hold it tight. Leads Denzel Washington and Viola Davis are appearing on awards shortlists everywhere, but the entire cast is quite stellar enough to be mentioned in the same breath. 

 

Washington--for my money, Hollywood's most magnetic leading man--also displays a deft touch in a rare outing behind the camera. Sets/locations are few and simple, retaining the feel of the movie's stage origins. 

 

The story is so real that it's often as difficult to watch as it is impossible to look away, becoming especially tense as the household grows increasingly contentious. Fences is a mature film that doesn't always have to be pretty to be beautiful. 

 

Fences clocks in at 138 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic elements, language, and some suggestive references." 

 

Fences is a smart, wordy outing for grownups, deliberately paced but never dull. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Fences gets eight. 

 

Until next time... 

 

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Assassin’s Creed & Sing

 

 

Dearest Blog: The holiday week provided the opportunity for an early trip to Marquee Cinemas for Assassin's Creed and Sing. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. 

 

First up: Assassin's Creed. After being conscripted into a dangerous experiment, a former death-row inmate discovers he's descended from a member of a secret society of assassins...or something like that. Just before heading out to the theatre, I saw a headline that called Assassin's Creed "an insult to gamers." 

 

I can't speak for gamers, but it's certainly an insult to, in no particular order: Brendan Gleesan, Charlotte Rampling, my intelligence, theatre workers who might accidentally have to watch some of it while sweeping up, and the seven dollars I invested in my ticket. I well and truly lack the words to express how terrible this film is, but I think the guy behind me who snored loudly for two hours about covers it. 

 

The real crime of Assassin's Creed is that it's too terrible to be fun, too dull to work up a healthy bile about it. It doesn't explain itself very well, so, by the time it settles in, you've already stopped caring. Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard are ridiculous, a pair of cookie-cutter characters uttering lines so stupid you'll facepalm right there in your seat. 

 

The rest of the cast doesn't fare much better, but, with less screen time, they have fewer opportunities to embarrass themselves. The effects and stylized stunts are mostly mediocre, though the movie does boast some dramatic, pretty frames, and Fassbender spends a fair bit of time shirtless, so there's that. 

 

Never let it be said I don't try to give you the silver lining, dear reader(s). Assassin's Creed clocks in at 115 minutes and is rated PG13 for intense sequences of violence and action, thematic elements, and brief strong language. 

 

If you were looking for a fun actioner to break up the drama of awards season, sadly, you're going to have to keep looking. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Assassin's Creed gets two. 

Fangirl Points: Michael Kenneth Williams!! (The only reason I don't regret seeing this.) 

 

Next on the agenda: the highly-anticipated animated feature, Sing. With his venue in financial ruin, a theatre manager stages a singing competition to try to earn the money to save it. 

 

As you will know from the trailers, all the characters in Sing are animals: the koala theatre manager and his best friend, a sheep; competition hopefuls that include a gorilla, a snail (my favorite!), a porcupine, and an elephant. The art an animation are bright, colorful, and entirely kid-friendly, so even creatures who might normally be intimidating are cute and appealing. 

 

Noteworthy voice talent (Oscar winners Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Hudson, and Reese Witherspoon, to name a few) is in fine form. Sing kicks off with a Beatles tune. It's a so-so cover of Golden Slumbers, but, as openings go, you could do a lot worse. 

 

From there, the movie includes snippets of dozens of different songs, some terrific (My Way is chill-inducing, even when performed by a mouse); some...not so much (disappointing that a half-dozen youngsters sitting next to me seemed to know the lyrics to only one song, a charming little ditty that goes: "Oh. My. Gosh. Look at her butt!"). 

 

Sing is a real family movie, with a positive, upbeat story, songs that cover many generations, and humor that's appropriate for all ages. Sing understands that eight-year-olds don't bring themselves to the movies, and it makes sure to entertain mom and dad, too, truly a film with something for everyone. 

 

Sing runs a quick 108 minutes and is rated PG for "some rude humor and mild peril." Sing is a solid, entertaining outing that'll be great for families this holiday season. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Sing gets seven and a half. 

 

Fangirl Points: Peter Serafinowicz! Jennifer Saunders! 

 

Until next time...