Cindy Prascik's Review of The Expendables 3

 

 

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for something that gets me as excited as landing on The Nice List come Christmas Eve: a new Expendables movie.

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish, mostly nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Barney adds some fresh faces to his team, in hopes of bringing down an old foe.

Reader(s), let's just get this out of the way: I think the Expendables franchise is the most awesomely awesome awesome in the history of awesome. I didn't love the second installment *quite* as well as the first--it felt a lot like throwing more names at the screen just to see what stuck--and trailers led me to fear the new one might be more of the same. While part three definitely does offer an expanded array of ass-kickers, I am happy to declare it the best of the franchise (so far).

Expendables 3 is non-stop action, spelled with brief bits of Feelings and quick frames of Other Things That Make Badasses Cool, such as riding motorcycles and doing shots. The Expendables get that the action is probably why you came, though, and they see to it you get your money's worth.
Daring vehicular stunts, massive weapons, and nicely-choreographed hand-to-hand combat occupy most of the screen time. As always, the cast is a who's who of action stars: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Wesley Snipes, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Jet Li. Throw in Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Antonio Banderas, and Harrison Ford for good measure, and you've got yourself quite the crew.

The pitfall of a cast this size is that there's never quite enough of THAT ONE GUY you want to see more of (in my case, Statham, always), but the silver lining is that Harrison Ford is...well...Harrison Ford, and Banderas, in top comic form, completely steals the show. The young'uns are the most forgettable batch of low-watt never-will-bes this side of a Twilight movie--and I certainly could have done without the addition of a female Expendable--but the big guns thankfully have enough star power to go around. Though there was quite a fuss about keeping this installment tame enough for a PG13 rating (as opposed to the Rs earned by the first two Expendables flicks), the film doesn't suffer for it. Quite honestly, I can't imagine a more fun time at the movies.

The Expendables 3 clocks in at 126 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence including intense sustained gun battles and fight scenes, and for language."

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Expendables 3 gets eight. Oh, and Sly, dahhhling, you don't have to be 30 years younger to come knockin' on MY door.

Until next time..

 Shut up and take my money!

MOVIE REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES 3

Barney (Stallone), Christmas (Statham) and the rest of the team comes face-to-face with Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson), who years ago co-founded The Expendables with Barney. Stonebanks subsequently became a ruthless arms trader and someone who Barney was forced to kill... or so he thought. Stonebanks, who eluded death once before, now is making it his mission to end The Expendables -- but Barney has other plans. Barney decides that he has to fight old blood with new blood, and brings in a new era of Expendables team members, recruiting individuals who are younger, faster and more tech-savvy. The latest mission becomes a clash of classic old-school style versus high-tech expertise in the Expendables' most personal battle yet. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Patrick Hughes

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Wesley Snipes

Release Date: Aug 15, 2014

Rated: PG-13 for Language, Intense Sustained Gun Battles, Fight Scenes and Violence 

Runtime: 2 hr. 7 min. 

Genres: Action/Adventure 

Review:

By this point in time you come to expect certain things from the Expendables movies.  The third entry starts off well with a rollicking, if a tad silly, action sequence that brings back Wesley Snipes to the screen.  Honestly, I didn’t know I missed Snipes that much but he perks up the first 20 minutes of the movie with an energetic charisma that’s hard to ignore.  After that sequence, the film turns into a bit of slog as we’re slowly introduced to new recruits, none of which have even the tiniest bit of screen charisma, with the characters we’ve come to know relegated to wait off screen.  The biggest sin isn’t that these characters are faceless and just there to serve the plot, it’s that during this extended sequence nothing happens.  There lots of exposition with Frasier popping up to throw some zingers at the plastic corpse that is Stallone but very little action or fun.  It’s honestly the films biggest drawback because the whole sequence could have been done in about 10 minutes so we could bring back the established fun characters or the other new additions like Antonio Banderas who’s hilarious as a motor mouth killer looking for a new team.  Once the final action sequence starts, you remember why your watching this film, lots over the top action with fun characters and crazy eyed Mel Gibson hamming it up as the villain of the piece.  That’s all I was really looking for in this franchise.

C+

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & The Hundred-Foot Journey

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the movies for one of the strangest double-bills ever, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Hundred-Foot Journey.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers...er...let's face it, you weren't planning on seeing either of these anyway, were you?

First on my agenda was the newest screen incarnation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo try to save New York from the evil Shredder.

Here's a true fact: I am wildly excited for every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and this one was no exception. First time those words have all been together in the same sentence? Possibly, but, despite the world of hate being rained down on it from all sides, I looked forward to TMNT, and I was not disappointed.

It's always fun to see such familiar and well-loved characters again, and I was pleased with how each turtle was represented here. The new look is okay, if not my favorite, and the martial arts moves are pretty cool in 3D. Will Arnett is entertaining, Megan Fox is smokin' hot, and no movie or TV show was ever worse for having the magnificent William Fichtner. Sure, the humor's juvenile, the story's done to death, and the effects are nothing to write home about, but, somehow, I still enjoyed this from beginning to end.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles runs 101 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sci-fi action/violence." If it's a terrible movie, that didn't keep me from having a great time with it.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gets five. I'd honestly love to score it better, but at some point I have to acknowledge it's probably a bad movie, no matter how much I like it!

Next on the docket was The Hundred-Foot Journey.

Fireworks ensue when an Indian family moves to the French countryside and opens a restaurant across the street from a hoity-toity local establishment.

Whoa! Bickering restaurant owners...sounds like the most boring movie ever, huh? What's next, two dentists trying to lease the same office space? While The Hundred-Foot Journey is a little long, it's a cute story that's elevated by a solid and likable cast. Helen Mirren is, as always, brilliant in the lead, and Manish Dayal and Charlotte Le Bon are appropriately adorable as young chefs at the two restaurants tip-toeing around the possibility of romance. The story is serious when it needs to be and funny when it means to be.

There's enough cooking and eating going on in this movie that restaurants neighboring cinemas are probably seeing a nice uptick in business this weekend. There are also plenty lingering shots of the picturesque French countryside, if that's your thing, and a nice anti-racism message as a bonus.
The Hundred-Foot Journey clocks in at 122 minutes and is rated PG for "thematic elements, some violence, language, and brief sensuality." If the movie is predicable and a bit overly-sappy, that's not hard to forgive in such a genuine and sweet picture.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Hundred-Foot journey gets six.

Until next time...COWABUNGA!!!

 It's official: my mental age is five.

MOVIE REVIEW: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

Paramount Pictures and Michael Bay present this reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise with Wrath of the Titans helmer Jonathan Liebesman directing. The sinister Shredder has seized control of New York City's police and politicians, leaving his ruthless Foot Clan to spread chaos in the streets. With no prospects for salvation in sight, mutant crime-fighters Raphael, Leonardo , Donatello, and Michaelangelo leap into action. They put up a fierce fight, too, though in order to truly defeat Shredder, the heroes in a half shell will need the help of courageous reporter April O'Neil Megan Fox and her quick witted cameraman Vern Fenwick (Will Arnett) as well. With their help, Shredder's plan will quickly unravel, and this once-great city will rise again. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Jonathan Liebesman 

Cast: Megan Fox, Alan Ritchson, Johnny Knoxville, Jeremy Howard, Noel Fisher, Will Arnett

Release Date: Aug 08, 2014

Rated: PG-13 for sci-fi action violence 

Runtime: 1 hr. 41 min. 

Genres: Action/Adventure, Family, Sci-Fi/Fantasy 

Review:

Rebooting the Ninja Turtles and getting it back on the big screen has been a bit of a trek.  The Batred (Michael Bay produced) hit first by the rumors of them having their back story drastically changed by making them aliens, etc… That Jonathan Liebesman’s film isn’t a total train wreck is a small wonder in of itself.  In fact, it actually captures plenty of the original’s sense of fun along with each of the titular characters traits and attitude.  Liebesman does his best Michael Bay impression by directing some kinetic action sequences with the most impressive being a snow covered mountain chase.  He moves his film around rather quickly avoiding as many lingering moments as possible.  Unfortunately, the script is kind of clunky when dealing with non-turtle characters.  Leading the charge is a mostly wooden, strangely pillowed lipped, Megan Fox who delivers most of her lines with the conviction of a pizza box.  She’s window dressing at best and a distraction from the fun for the most part.  Will Arnett and William Fichtner are fairly underused unfortunately, leaving most of the live action acting in Megan Fox’s lovely hands.  Still, even if you looking for a bit of a throwback or just some mindless fun, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles succeeds more than it doesn’t simply doing something most of the Transformers films never did, getting the primary characters right.

B-

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Get On Up & Guardians of the Galaxy

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to the pictures for Guardians of the Galaxy and some afterthought that dared turn up the same weekend as Guardians of the Galaxy.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on the docket was the afterthought, Get On Up.

Get On Up tells the story of James Brown's self-made rise from dirt-poor childhood to the Godfather of Soul.

Okey-dokey, readers: confession time...and this is an embarrassing one. I don't particularly care for James Brown. There, I said it. I respect the influence of his music on all the music I love, but I've never been a fan of the man himself. As such, my expectations for a movie full of music I don't like were middling at best.

If there's one thing Get On Up does have going for it, it's Chadwick Boseman, who follows up his stunning turn in 42 with an even more amazing performance...and some pretty terrific dance moves.

True Blood's Nelsan Ellis is especially noteworthy as Brown's best friend and longtime professional collaborator, Bobby Byrd, but, truly, the entire cast is well above average. The story is kind of a mess, but never dull. It's not told in linear fashion--beginning to middle to end--but rather jumps among various periods of Brown's life. The order is seemingly random, but the segueways are so flawless that, while I wouldn't say I precisely liked it, I will say it was effective.

I don't imagine it ever felt like there was much order in Brown's life for himself or those around him.

The movie also does a fair job of not painting Brown a saint just because he's: a.) talented, and b.) no longer with us. Then of course there's the music, LOTS of it. My understanding is Boseman lip-synched to actual James Brown recordings, and there were a couple times I felt it was a little obvious, especially having recently seen Jersey Boys, where numbers were performed live on set. If you like the music, you'll be a World Champion Chair Dancer by the end, but for me some of the numbers seemed to drag.

Get On Up clocks in at 138 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sexual content, drug use, some strong language, and violent situations." It was far more enjoyable than I anticipated, but still not the spiritual experience I expect from movies about music legends.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Get On Up gets six.

Next up was the movie the about which I (and the rest of the Internet) have been frantically abuzz for months now, Guardians of the Galaxy.

A ragtag bunch of villains-turned-heroes faces a foe set on mass destruction.

Admit it, reader(s), even if you aren't usually into superhero movies, you took one look at this trailer and were completely sold. The self-deprecating hero. The gun-toting raccoon. The green hottie. The humor. The tunes...oh, the TUNES!! The buzz has been so overwhelmingly positive for so long that, by the time showtime finally rolled around, I was a little nervous about a letdown. I needn't have worried.

There's a joke going around the Internet, something along the lines of DC Comics being all worried the world isn't ready for a solo female super-hero movie, but Marvel says, "Here's a talking raccoon."

I'm a DC girl myself, but Guardians of the Galaxy, to me, is everything Marvel does right.

The overall tone of Guardians is humorous. The movie never bogs down with backstory, yet it tells enough about each character that he's more than just the sum of his actions in this particular film.

Everyone is sympathetic to some degree...yes, even the raccoon. There's plenty of big, explosive action, yet none of those seemingly-endless scenes of run-on destruction. (Lookin' at you, Avengers and Man of Steel.)

The art and effects are beautiful and realistic. I'll happily be the latest in a long line to mention the soundtrack that's about to become the most-played thing on your iPod, filled with great 70s nuggets like 10CC's I'm Not in Love and The Runaways' Cherry Bomb.

Finally, each and every Guardian deserves credit for a solid performance full of heart and wit...though I still wonder who thought it was a good idea to give Bradley Cooper a role where we don't see his magnificent face.

Guardians of the Galaxy runs 121 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for some language." It is that very rare item that actually lives up to the hype.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Guardians of the Galaxy gets eight and a half.

Until next time...

 Karen Gillan + Zoe Saldana? Yes, please.

MOVIE REVIEW: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

A group of interstellar outlaws team up to save the galaxy from a villain who seeks ultimate power in this comic book space adventure from Marvel Studios and director James Gunn (Slither, Super). ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Release Date: Aug 01, 2014

Rated R for some Language and Intense Sci-Fi Action/Violence 

Runtime: 2 hr. 2 min. 

Genres: Action/Adventure, Family

Director: James Gunn 

Cast: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Lee Pace, Bradley Cooper, Michael Rooker, Vin Diesel

Review:

Marvel has given us some fantastic even great films over the past decade or so, setting the bar pretty high for every new release.  Guardians of the Galaxy keeps up that trend by delivering an incredibly enjoyable sci-fi ride free of any overlapping story arch.  There’s a kinetic freedom in it right from the start capturing a perfect mix of epic fun that’s sure to become a life long memory for young children everywhere.  James Gunn turns out to be a perfect choice for this particular film since it takes advantage of all his talents, giving us a less vulgar Tarantino light version of the super hero movie.  His cast is equally impressive across the board with Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana, always more comfortable in sci-fi, leading the charge.  Bradley Cooper’s Rocket Raccoon and Vin Diesel’s Groot work so much better than expected, each leaving an indelible mark on the film.  Throw in a heftier dose of Michael Rooker than expected, never a bad thing, and you have one of the most enjoyable movie going experiences of the summer and probably one of the better superhero films of all time.

A