MOVIE REVIEW: ESCAPE PLAN

A structural security expert must escape from a prison based on his own designs in order to track down the person who framed him in this gritty action thriller staring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. However should they fail, they will both perish in a hell that was constructed as a place where people disappear forever. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Mikael Håfström

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Caviezel, Vincent D'Onofrio, Vinnie Jones, Amy Ryan

Release Date: Oct 18, 2013

Rated R for violence and Language Throughout

Runtime: 1 hr. 55 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

Escape Plan is the kind of ridiculous throwback you’d expect from a team up of Stallone and Schwarzenegger. It’s got enough potholes to give your brain suspension failure. The plot is overly complicated and muddled for no good reason other than to confuse you into thinking it’s smarter than it is. Once you come to the realization that you can make your way through most of the plot without the assistance of Stallone’s slurred/grunting exposition it’s clear it’s not a film that requires your acute attention. Stallone, or the wax figure that they’ve been passing off as Stallone since the late 90’s, is surprisingly serious throughout. I didn’t expect tongue in cheek cheese of The Expendables 2 but I did expect him to have a little fun. Thankfully Schwarzenegger is having a great time onscreen and he’s far more engaged more than his official return The Last Stand. Schwarzenegger gives the film a nice dose of energy each time he pops up on screen, oddly he and Stallone don’t have much chemistry in this film. Perhaps it’s personal preference but I’ve always enjoyed Schwarzenegger more than Stallone so maybe that skews my enjoyment. The supporting cast is made up of an impressive array of strong actors. Unfortunately, they are mostly wasted as very minor background characters. James Caviezel delivers a fun performance mainly because he’s in full mustache twirling villain mode completes with non-descript European accent. Vinnie Jones makes for a perfect henchman since he looks like he could have been plucked from either of the stars 80’s films. Mikael Håfström’s direction is generic with very little in terms of style, mostly he just gets out of the way of the cast and lets them have their fun. A bit of trimming would have streamed line this film, there’s no reason for it to be nearly 2 hours long. Still it’s a serviceable action flick, personally I still like the novelty of seeing Stallone and Schwarzenegger together, that doesn’t require too much brain power and if you bought a ticket for this film that’s probably what you were expecting.

C+

[Trailers] The Grand Budapest Hotel & Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

A couple of new trailers hit yesterday and they couldn’t be any different. First up is Wes Anderson’s next film The Grand Budapest Hotel. Personally I love Anderson and this looks like it’ll be another fun film in the tradition of Moonrise Kingdom and The Royal Tenenbaums. An added bonus is seeing Ralph Fiennes in a comedic role, check it out below;



Next up is the trailer for the new spin off, Hispanic aimed Paranormal Activity because the franchise really needed a spin off. Personally, I enjoyed the first 3 PA films but the last one was just lazy and bad, perhaps they could have focused their energy on fixing the actual franchise before spinning it off, either way check it out below;

MOVIE REVIEW: CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

Two-time Academy Award winner Tom Hanks teams with Oscar-nominated director Paul Greengrass and screenwriter Billy Ray to tell the true story of Richard Phillips, a U.S. cargo-ship captain who surrendered himself to Somali pirates so that his crew would be freed. The MV Maersk Alabama was en route to Mombasa, Kenya, when it was surrounded and boarded by a gang of hardened bandits led by the determined Muse (Barkhad Abdi). As the crew of the Maersk Alabama rushed into a fortified "secure room" created for just such an incident, Phillips and Muse found themselves in a tense standoff that threatened to erupt into violence at any moment. Catherine Keener and Michael Chernus co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Paul Greengrass

Cast: Tom Hanks, Catherine Keener, Barkhad Abdi

Release Date: Oct 11, 2013

Rated PG-13 for sustained intense sequences of menace, some violence with bloody images, and for substance use

Runtime: 2 hr. 13 min

Genres: Action/Adventure, Documentary Drama, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

Captain Phillips is an intense experience from start to finish. Paul Greengrass, using visual restraint on his patented handheld style, delivers a crisp and thoroughly engaging run through the harrowing true story of Captain Phillips. Greengrass’s film can be broken down into a traditional 3 story act with each feeling distinctive enough in their own right. The opening act establishes the players and locations. Greengrass smartly gives us a glimpse into both sides, allowing the audience to have a human face to the antagonist not just the titular Phillips. The second act moves us onto the hijacking at sea, delivering some tension filled scenes as the crew, pirates and Phillips move through massive ship. The film hits its stride during this portion while keeping the tension palpable throughout the cat and mouse game. The final act, which is the longest, on the lifeboat loses some of the energy of the middle act. It’s not deflated but repurposed as the film’s setting and events change. The final act does allow Greengrass to further humanize the Somali pirates further, allowing Barkhad Abdi to shine in his shockingly realistic performance as the lead pirate. Greengrass’s direction is excellent throughout while Hanks delivers a believable performance as the stoic captain stuck in a terrible situation. The plot plays out exactly like it did in real life but knowing how it ends doesn’t matter when both director and cast bringing their A game. Hank’s, stoic throughout most of the film, is given an impressive scene near the end which really showcases his acting chops and Greengrass’s ability to bring a sense of reality to his films.

A

Cindy Prascik’s reviews of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 and Machete Kills

Dearest Blog, this weekend's cinema schedule left me with two options: act like a real grownup with a movie blog and catch a pair of bonafide awards season hopefuls (Rush and Captain Phillips), or watch a cartoon and a splattery action flick with lots of cleavage and bad language.

Dear Blog, I think we both know where this is heading.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you haven't seen in the trailers.

First on today's agenda was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2.

When scientist Flint Lockwood (voice of Bill Hader) finds out his most famous invention is wreaking havoc, he teams with his childhood hero Chester V. (voice of Will Forte) to put a stop to the chaos...with surprising results.

So...I half-remember seeing the first Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. I'm pretty sure I liked it, because I was reasonably eager to see the sequel, but I don't remember much about it. Now I'm sorta remembering why. Cloudy 2 is passable entertainment that's safe for the kids, but doesn't offer much for anyone else.

The voice talent in Cloudy is a bunch of folks I generally find pretty funny. In addition to Hader and Forte, there's Anna Faris, James Caan, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris, Kristin Schaal, and Terry Crews. I don't think the cast is to blame for a lackluster picture, but I can't say anybody jumps out and saves it, either. It's not unheard of for really beautiful art to salvage a so-so animated flick, but this unfortunately falls flat in that regard as well. There are some imaginative creations, but nothing all that memorable or special.

It may be that my expectations of "family" entertainment have become unreasonable, but when I see a family movie these days, I expect it to be just that: something for the whole family, not just something that's suitable for kids. I expect the gorgeous art and clever humor of Finding Nemo, Elton John's hit parade in Gnomeo & Juliet (which had me and all the other grownups in the room dancing and singing along), or something truly special like How to Train Your Dragon, a spectacular film that compares favorably to any other movie, animated or not. The kids in my cinema today seemed to be getting a real charge out of the goofiness and bodily-function humor in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, but I think I only chuckled once...and I checked the clock three times. There's no invention that can turn that into anything good.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 clocks in at 95 minutes and is rated PG for "mild rude humor." It's suitable for kids, but is likely to bore adults to tears.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 gets four.

Next on my agenda was a sequel I more eagerly anticipated, Machete Kills.

Machete is recruited by the US President himself when an ex-Cartel leader points a missile at the good ole U.S. of A.

Machete Kills is a smorgasbord of familiar faces, cartoonish violence, and uber-hot babes. Dear reader(s), you know how I'm always saying an honest trailer is the key to a good movie-going experience? Well, a trailer whose lynchpin is Sofia Vergara firing giant boob guns tells you all you need to know about this one.

Danny Trejo is enjoyable as always, sticking with the less talk and more action plan.

Charlie Sheen is a hoot as the President, and Oscar nominee Demien Bichir is way over the top as the guy with his finger on the trigger. It's always a pleasure to see Walton Goggins, however briefly. Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, and Lady Gaga are so hot I'm surprised the screen didn't melt. There's blood and silliness aplenty, and...did I mention boob guns? While the movie's not grossly overlong, I do think it would have been better had they trimmed it to 90 minutes.

Machete Kills runs 107 minutes and is rated R for "strong bloody violence throughout, language, and some sexual content." It is exactly as advertised: an explosive, silly bit of brain candy.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Machete Kills gets six. Oh, and...boob guns.

Until next time...



No, seriously...boob guns!

MOVIE REVIEW MACHETE KILLS

The President of the United States (Charlie Sheen) tasks indomitable ex-Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) with silencing a dangerous radical and taking out a wealthy arms dealer who seeks to destabilize the entire globe. Michelle Rodriguez, Mel Gibson, Lady Gaga, Sofía Vergara, and Amber Heard co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Cast: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofía Vergara, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Amber Heard, Demián Bichir, Jessica Alba

Release Date: Oct 11, 2013

Rated R for strong Bloody Violence, Some Sexual Content and Language

Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

If Robert Rodriguez’s Machete offended your sensibility or stretched credulity then be forewarned to stay as far away from Machete Kills as possible. Rodriguez’s follow up is more insane and over the top than the original. It still works as an homage to Grindhouse films but with everything set to eleven. Honestly, the script is mostly secondary as it moves from one crazy action set piece to another, each more hilarious than the other. Rodriguez gives his film a steady vigor through the first 2 acts keeping you laughing at the manic insanity on screen. The third act hits a tad bit of a snag, bringing the film’s energy to a grinding halt because of Mel Gibson and his characters needless exposition. The third act may lose some people because it takes a sudden turn into slightly unexpected territory, they kind of tell you at the beginning of the film actually. It tries to recapture the energy of the first 2 acts but doesn’t quite pull it off. The cast lead by the granite faced Trejo is in fine form. Trejo, again, plays it all straight, regardless of how ridiculous the situation. Thankfully, Jessica Alba just stops buy for a cup of coffee and disappears quickly replaced by Amber Heard. Heard is having all kinds of fun in her role and naturally fits into her role. That being said, Demián Bichir and Sofia Vergara are the real standouts. Demián Bichir has always impressed me as an actor in dramatic roles but here he just lets loose. Bichir is clearly enjoying himself but he brings that extra bit in his delivery that makes his performance so much fun. The film sorely misses him the moment he’s gone. Sofia Vergara is underused while other actors got more to do in the last act; it’s a shame because she’s a screeching Colombian Valkyrie ready made for this type of film. The strange part about it is that the film overstays its welcome by about 15 minutes or so and probably could have worked better with a sleeker plot with less characters. That being said it’s a bloody mindless bit of good fun.

B-

Cindy Prascik’s Review of Metallica Through the Never

Dearest Blog, today I used my recovery day from the Nine Inch Nails concert to catch Metallica's latest big-screen venture, Through the Never.

Spoiler level here will be mild, and, truth be told, there's not a lot to spoil.

During a Metallica concert, a young man (Dane DeHaan) is charged with collecting "something the band needs tonight," but finds the task is more challenging than he could have imagined.

Lots of people release 3D concert films these days, and I get pretty tired of seeing trailers for Katy Perry, One Direction, Kenny Chesney....... Wait...what? Sorry, I dozed off just typing that bit. Anyway, it's nice to get a big-screen outing from a band that's actually worth seeing. Make no mistake, Through the Never is no more than a concert film with a little extra mustard on it, but what a concert film it is!!

Any plot is merely a side note to an explosive Metallica show. The story is interesting enough, without being distracting. DeHaan spends 90 minutes looking confounded, terrified, and higher than someone in a Cheech & Chong film...sometimes all at the same time.

There are extras aplenty, but his is really the only character to speak of, and he carries the scripted part of the movie well.

There's no backstage BS in Through the Never, no Katy Perry explaining how her Christian upbringing prepared her for a career crooning trite pop songs while dressed as a PG13-candy striper.

Outside the trippy clips of DeHaan trying to accomplish his chore, there's just Metallica, Metallica, and more Metallica. Top hits like Enter Sandman, One, and Nothing Else Matters are complimented by old favorites Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, and my favorite Metallica song, Creeping Death. I had the theatre to myself today, and I'll cop to throwing the horns and yelling, "Die! Die! Die!" along with the onscreen crowd.

The 3D is good without being obtrusive. Nothing flies off the screen at you, but it definitely feels like you're front row for Metallica's big sets and big sound. This movie is a good time x 12.

Metallica Through the Never runs a quick 93 minutes and is rated R for "some violent content and language."

Metallica Through the Never is a fantastic concert film that, for my money, could have been two hours longer and still seemed short.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, I can enthusiastically give it all nine.

And, if you were lucky enough to catch this in IMAX 3D,

I hate you. I really hate you! ;-)

Horns up, dear reader(s)! Until next time...



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