Cindy Prascik's Review of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Dearest Blog, with a couple screenings of the final installment of Peter Jackson's Hobbit trilogy now under my belt, I shall try to present some thoughts. Coherence not guaranteed. (But is it ever?)

Spoiler level here will be mild-ish, no biggies, but if you prefer to go in totally blind--if that's even possible with a story that's nearly 80 years old--kindly defer reading until you've seen it.

Having made their way home, the company of Thorin Crabbypants defends its Kingdom Under the Mountain, but there's more than gold on the line when the battle expands.

Where to start...where to start...

Beginning at the beginning, BOTFA kicks off where Desolation of Smaug ended, with an angry dragon descending on the panicked citizens of Lake-town. For such frantic circumstances, the start of the film seems quite slow. Then there is The Thing that happens so quickly I have to wonder why The Thing didn't happen in the last movie, as (in Director Cindy's opinion) it seems more fittingly part of that one, and would have provided a more logical breaking point between numbers two and three.

The Thing is a pretty major development, but dropping it so soon makes it seem almost an afterthought. Once the movie gets rolling, it's not hard to see why filmmakers changed the name from There and Back Again...this movie is not about a trip; this movie is about a fight. While I wouldn't quite agree that it amounts to no more than an extended battle scene, there's definitely a lot of battlin' going on.

At nearly two and a half hours, BOTFA is the most compact of Peter Jackson's six Middle Earth epics, and it honestly does not seem long. Having said that, there are plenty of places it could have been cropped to make a better film, battles among them. (I might also mention the attentive viewer needs just so many shots of a dive-bombing dragon to get what's going on there.) Some CGI is inexcusably poor for a movie that cost so much to make; as with DOS, it's mostly noticeable in the movement of the Elves.

The few lighter moments are hit or miss, with Martin Freeman's wonderful expressiveness getting credit for the hits, and a bunch of flat, obvious gags featuring Ryan Gage taking blame for the misses. The character Tauriel remains a pointless addition, and her simpering looks at Kili and Legolas and Thranduil and...well...pretty much everyone are almost too annoying to bear. Finally, there's simply too little of 12 of the 13 Dwarves we've come to love over the course of the series.

On to the positives...Ken Stott and Martin Freeman remain the heart of The Hobbit, through three movies turning in performances that are consistently genuine, funny, and moving. I'd be remiss in my fangirling if I didn't note that Aidan Turner and Luke Evans are also terrific; this franchise will deservedly make big stars of both, and I couldn't be happier or more proud.

The movie's backed by the usual glorious New Zealand scenery, and the usual glorious Howard Shore score.

Obviously, this is another Jacksonized version of Tolkien; by this point, I'm sure nobody walks into these things expecting a faithful adaptation of the books. (If it were about real people, I'd say it's more "inspired by true events" than "based on a true story.") In many ways, it's Jackson's final thank you to the fans who have loved his vision of Middle Earth, with characters from the other films being name-checked or turning up in cameos and small roles.

Even if the battle scenes run on a bit, there's no shortage of nice fight choreography, cool weapons, and badass hero moments. It would be less than honest to pretend the story isn't stretched pretty thin; this is no Return of the King, and it won't be received as such by fans or critics.

That may feel like going out with a whimper instead of a bang, but in the end it's immaterial to me. Buoyed by my strong affection for the franchise, I have no problem accepting this as a fitting goodbye, and, as with all the other movies in the series, I'm confident my love will only grow with repeat viewings.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies runs 144 minutes and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence and frightening images."

I'm not sure this a great movie--and I'm not sure it's not--but I'm mostly happy with it.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies gets seven.

Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be petitioning the Tolkien estate to give PJ the Silmarillion.

Until next time...

Because...reasons

Cindy Prascik's Review of Exodus: Gods and Kings

Dearest Blog, end of the year means burning that unused vacation, so today I found myself at a mid-afternoon screening of Exodus: Gods and Kings.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
Believing he's been called by God, Moses leads hundreds of thousands of Hebrew slaves out of Egypt.

Dear reader(s), in the interest of full and fair disclosure I'll note that to me the Bible is as real as a Twilight novel. I mean that not to insult anyone's beliefs, but to make it clear that Biblical accuracy or lack thereof is not why I hated this movie. I hated it because, to quote one of my all-time favorite reviews, it is "a lumbering bore."

Much has been made of all the white folks portraying characters who would have been decidedly un-white, and that does make it a bit hard to take the movie seriously. Sigourney Weaver as an Egyptian queen gave me a fit of the giggles that I almost didn't get past, and I'm pretty sure a servant girl was wearing one of Lady Gaga's wigs. Close-ups reveal French manicures on some of the women. (I'm not even kidding.) Accents are all over the place--hell, Christian Bale runs through four or five different ones himself--and the language is too modern to suit the movie's time frame. If Lord of the Rings bought its battle scenes at Wal-Mart, they'd probably look a lot like the ones in Exodus. Much of the CGI is laughably bad; in fact, the whole thing kinda looks like a regional theatre production of Jesus Christ Superstar. And if being bored to tears isn't bad enough, there's a boatload of explicit animal cruelty for your viewing pleasure, and a blustery score that occasionally goes all "NCIS terrorist cue." It's more than a little offensive.

Bale's Moses is an unsympathetic character, who, like Russell Crowe's Noah, comes off as cold-hearted screwball rather than a man agonizing over choices he must make for the greater good. Moses' "brother" turned nemesis Ramses, played by a barely recognizable Joel Edgerton, is a buffoon in enough guyliner for a Motley Crue video. Ben Mendelsohn turning up was a pleasant surprise, but that's about the only good thing I have to say about Exodus.

Exodus: Gods and Kings clocks in at a bloated 150 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence including battle scenes and intense images."

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Exodus: Gods and Kings gets two. It's a trainwreck.

Until next time...

I am, in fact, too fast for love.

MOVIE REVIEW: EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS

From acclaimed director Ridley Scott (Gladiator, Prometheus) comes the epic adventure “Exodus: Gods and Kings,” the story of one man’s daring courage to take on the might of an empire. Using state of the art visual effects and 3D immersion, Scott brings new life to the story of the defiant leader Moses (Christian Bale) as he rises up against the Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses (Joel Edgerton), setting 600,000 slaves on a monumental journey of escape from Egypt and its terrifying cycle of deadly plagues.

Director: Ridley Scott     

 Cast: Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, John Turturro, Sigourney Weaver, Aaron Paul 

Release Date: Dec 12, 2014

Rated PG-13 for violence including battle sequences and intense images     

Runtime: 2 hr. 22 min.    

Genres: Drama    

Review:

Exodus: Gods and Kings is a throwback to the big scale biblical epics from the past.  Ridley Scott brings a sweeping grandeur to the whole thing but it never really gets its footing with any of the characters.  The film clocks in at nearly 2 and half hours, some of which is quite a slog, yet we never really get any real connections to the characters.  Christian Bale is fine as Moses but he doesn’t give the character any heartfelt drive to save his people.  As such Moses comes off as an annoyed nut whose just doing something because he has to.  At lease the script gave Moses a bit more of a tacticians mind as he plots his revolt that will lead to the liberation of the Israelites.  Rames, played by a guy liner-rrific Jole Edgerton, comes off as a bumbling buffoon all the way through.  There’s a little effort to give him a bit more depth but not nearly enough to matter in the long run.  The supporting cast is prestigious but underused and ultimately wasted.  The film’s lack of three dimensional characters is ultimately its biggest downfall.  Ridley Scott created a visual spectacle which is finely produced but it all feels hollow since we really don’t care about any of the characters, not the way we were supposed to at least.

C+

MOVIE REVIEW: THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING

Starring Eddie Redmayne ("Les Misérables") and Felicity Jones ("The Amazing Spider-Man 2"), this is the extraordinary story of one of the world's greatest living minds, the renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking, who falls deeply in love with fellow Cambridge student Jane Wilde. Once a healthy, active young man, Hawking received an earth-shattering diagnosis at 21 years of age. With Jane fighting tirelessly by his side, Stephen embarks on his most ambitious scientific work, studying the very thing he now has precious little of - time. Together, they defy impossible odds, breaking new ground in medicine and science, and achieving more than they could ever have dreamed. The film is based on the memoir Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen, by Jane Hawking, and is directed by Academy Award winner James Marsh ("Man on Wire").

Director: James Marsh     

Cast: Eddie Redmayne, Felicity Jones, David Thewlis, Emily Watson, Charlie Cox

Release Date: Nov 07, 2014    

Rated: PG-13 for suggestive Material and Some Thematic Elements    

Runtime: 2 hr. 3 min.    

Genres: Drama    

Review:

The Theory of Everything is the type of Awards fodder you expect to see around this time of year.  It’s structured in a fairly conventional manner but director James Marsh keeps everything moving at a steady pace.  It’s a lovely looking film that carries some real heart with it.  Marsh allows his actors to really find their characters which they do in spades.  Eddie Redmayne is going to get the most accolades and it’s all well deserved.  He disappears into his role completely, mimicking every stage of Hawking’s disability while still conveying a sharp mind and wit throughout.  Redmayne’s role is the highlight but Felicity Jones performance really anchors the film.  She displays so many emotions over the course of the film.  The film doesn’t keep a storybook track for the love story; as such it feels much more real and packs a stronger punch.  The film is packed with emotion and it covers the gamut from inspirational to heartbreaking and back. 

A

MOVIE REVIEW: HORRIBLE BOSSES 2

Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day return for more employee revenge in this follow-up to the 2011 comedy. Sean Anders directs from a script by Anders and Jonn Morris. Having narrowly avoided prison following the antics of the previous film, Nick (Bateman), Kurt (Sudeikis), and Dale (Day) decide to go into business for themselves. When their breakthrough product, the Shower Buddy, catches the attention of a wealthy entrepreneur named Bert Hanson (Christoph Waltz) who offers to bankroll their initial production run, the eager inventors quickly move into manufacturing. Proudly filling Hanson's initial order before the deadline, they decide to surprise their key investor with the good news, only to get a nasty surprise: A shrewd businessman with a serious lack of ethics, Hanson announces that he is cancelling the deal. With no investors to keep the business afloat, the Shower Buddy factory will soon fall into foreclosure, allowing Hanson to scoop up the product at a fraction of the original cost, change the name, and reap the profits. Indignant, Nick, Kurt, and Dale hatch a plot to kidnap Bert's son Rex (Chris Pine) for a healthy ransom, paying a visit to criminal mastermind Dean Jones (Jamie Foxx) for a few pointers on the fine art of abduction. Needless to say, nothing goes quite as planned, and as the police launch an investigation into the elaborate crime, the hapless trio must once again race to stay one step ahead of the law. Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Spacey co-stars. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Sean Anders 

Cast: Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day, Chris Pine, Christoph Waltz

Release Date: Nov 26, 2014

Rated R for Strong Crude Sexual Content and Language Throughout

Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min.

Genres: Comedy

Review:

While I enjoyed the original film, I was kind of disappointed it wasn’t an all out laugh fest.  The cast was great but I just felt the film was missing something.  I’ve rewatched it a few times and found it amusing but still lacking.  So while most people would say this is a pointless sequel, it kind of is, I was interested in seeing how the second go around would fair.  Thankfully the sequel delivered exactly what I was hoping for from the first film.  It’s a hilarious film that’s consistently funny with very few dead spots.  Bateman, Sudeikis and Day have much better chemistry this go around deliver hilarious performances all around.  We get extended cameos from Kevin Spacey, would have like more, and Jennifer Aniston, could have used less, which are solid but feel like they were tacked on to the original plot.  Chris Pine and Christoph Waltz are solid additions to the series with Pine bringing a douchtastic energy to his character which is perfect for the role.  Waltz on the other hand is rather underused, serving mostly as a plot mechanism and not doing much else.  It’s rare that a needless sequel surpasses the original film but that’s the case here.

A-

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1

Dearest Blog, since a freakishly icy November morning cost me the cinema last weekend, I am a week late with my review of the latest Hunger Games installment. That means just one thing: prepare for my rambling to be even less relevant than usual!    

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or, you know, if you've been on the Internet at all this past week.     Katniss Everdeen becomes the face of the Districts' rebellion against the Capitol, but concern for Peeta's safety is chief on her mind.    

Well, dear reader(s), I'm not exactly what you'd call a Hunger Games fangirl. The movies are pretty well done, but, to me, it's a slightly-better-than-average young adult series that was fortunate to land on a shooting star at just the right moment. To its credit, the franchise seems well aware of that, and it utilizes Jennifer Lawrence's formidable talent, screen presence, and star power to their absolute fullest.     

If J-Law is as astonishing as we've come to expect, that takes nothing away from a supporting cast that is, to a person, very, very good, and Mockingjay Part 1 continues the series' tradition of leaving us wanting more of Woody Harrelson's Haymitch, especially.     

This third Hunger Games installment seems even more grim than the first two, which is really saying something when you take into account that the first one was about children killing one another for entertainment. Like the Hunger Games and Catching Fire, I left the theatre knowing I'd never watch Mockingjay again; it's just too miserable. The movie is also...erm...let's just say "deliberately paced" (to be polite) and runs perhaps a tad too long.     

None of that is to say, however, that it isn't interesting or well done; on the contrary, it is both. The story expertly sustains tension, and there are a couple disaster effects that left me holding my breath.    

Most of the film is set in muted greys and blacks and neutrals, effectively conveying the hopelessness felt by the Districts in their fight against the Capitol's oppression, and the ending will definitely leave you anxious for Mockingjay Part 2, coming next Thanksgiving.    

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 clocks in at 123 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of violence and action, some disturbing images, and thematic material."    

The Hunger Games series has yet to prove itself worthy of the hype, but as the genre goes, it's still better than most.    

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 gets six.    

No reviews next weekend, as I'll be making my annual, much-anticipated trek to the Big Apple!    

Until next time..

If you're telling me someone fell for Josh Hutcherson while this guy was standing in front of them, I'm telling you that's the least-believable thing I've EVER seen in a movie!