Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Ocean's 8 & Hotel Artemis

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Oceans 8 and Hotel Artemis, or, how best to waste some of the most talented, interesting, and beautiful actors working today.

Spoiler level here will be mild, almost nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. (I'm giving away one (1) cameo from Oceans 8. If you don't want to know, read after you've seen it.)

First on the docket: Oceans 8.

Debbie Ocean carries on the family tradition with an all-female crew, because in 2018 Hollywood, gender-bent versions of old movies pass for new content. For the record, let it be noted that Karina and I had the idea for an all-male Charlie's Angels YEARS ago and will expect full credit when the time inevitably comes. (It's gonna be All Chris, too: Evans, Hemsworth, and Pine or Pratt...we're still agreeing to disagree there.)

Oceans 8 isn't really a good movie, nor is it a terrible movie. The one thing it absolutely *should* be is a fun movie, but, sadly, instead it's rather dull. Bad news out of the way first: These characters are AWFUL...caricatures unworthy of the least of the actresses to embody them, nevermind the goddess that is Helena Bonham Carter. The dialogue is especially awkward at the start, though it improves slightly as the movie progresses. The humor is also spotty, occasionally amusing is about as good as it gets. Even the heist itself is a letdown; it seems clever, yet its execution never feels as edge-of-your-seat as it should.

The good news is Oceans 8 is a pretty easy watch despite all that, thanks to terrific eye candy. If you're thinking I mean the lovely ladies, you're right, but the picture is also set during the annual Met Gala and is filled with all the unique and stunning fashions for which the event is famous. Then there's Richard Armitage, certainly not hard on the eyes. Call me shallow, but the combination was more than enough to hold my interest. If looking out for cameos is your bag, Oceans 8 has plenty of those too, so keep those eyes open. (Move over Kardashians, my favorite was Junior's Cheesecake!)

Oceans 8 clocks in at 110 minutes and is rated PG13 for "language, drug use, and some suggestive content."

With a lesser cast, Oceans 8 would be a passable but forgettable bit of summer escapism. Even as sub-par as it is, there are worse things than than watching some of Hollywood's best actresses punching below their weight. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Oceans 8 gets four and a half.

Next up: Hotel Artemis.

In riot-plagued 2028 Los Angeles, a nurse runs a secret, members-only hospital for criminals.

Dear reader(s): Though it's nearly impossible to do in the Internet age, I went into Hotel Artemis cold, save for one headline that crossed my Twitter feed early yesterday: "What Made Jodie Foster Agree to Star in the Worst Movie of the Year?" So...lowered expectations, then?

I feel like I can't be the only one who's at least a little bit over the whole dystopian thing, but Hotel Artemis seemed an interesting enough idea, and a cast that features Jodie Foster, Jeff Goldblum, Sterling K. Brown, Zachary Quinto, Sofia Boutella, and Charlie Day sounds can't-miss. Sadly, like Oceans 8, Hotel Artemis gives its incredible talent only cookie-cutter characters to work with. Even the good guys are unlikable, though (with very limited screen time) Jeff Goldblum is a delight as one of the baddies. If you're squeamish about violence or language, you'll want to check in somewhere else, but if you don't mind a side of blood and F-bombs with your action and criminal machinations, Hotel Artemis is the place for you.

Hotel Artemis runs a quick 93 minutes and is rated R for "violence and language throughout, some sexual references, and brief drug use."

Hotel Artemis takes an interesting premise and turns it into a by-the-numbers thriller. It's not fair to call it the year's worst movie, but it's certainly nowhere near its best. 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hotel Artemis gets five.

Until next time...

Ar

MOVIE REVIEW: HEREDITARY

When Ellen passes away, her daughter's family begins to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry. The more they discover, the more they find themselves trying to outrun the sinister fate they seem to have inherited. 

Director: Ari Aster

Cast: Toni Collette, Alex Wolff, Milly Shapiro, Ann Dowd, Gabriel Byrne

Rated R for horror violence, disturbing images, language, drug use and brief graphic nudity

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery

Runtime: 2h 7min

Review:

Hereditary is a classic horror film fans dream.  Ari Aster, who wrote and directs, is clearly a fan of 70’s and 80’s horror films and he mines a handful of tropes to deliver an emotionally mature and nerve grinding experience.  Aster’s film is a slow burn decent into madness.  It’s efficient and effective as it sets up the film’s plot by dropping tidbits of information here and there.  It demands the audience’s attention, asking them to pay close attention to little details.  At its center is Toni Collette who delivers an incredible performance.  Collette gives the kind of performance that’s sure to join the annals of horror performances like Jack Nicholson in The Shining or Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby.   Milly Shapiro fills the creepy kid quotient leaving an impression in a limited performance.  Gabriel Byrne is appropriately worried throughout while Alex Wolff is increasingly terrorized.  Hereditary is one of those films that linger with you after you leave the theater, usually the hallmark of the best kind of horror films.

A-

MOVIE REVIEW: OCEAN’S 8

Five years, eight months, 12 days and counting -- that's how long Debbie Ocean has been devising the biggest heist of her life. She knows what it's going to take -- a team of the best people in the field, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller. Together, they recruit a crew of specialists, including jeweler Amita, street con Constance, suburban mom Tammy, hacker Nine Ball, and fashion designer Rose. Their target -- a necklace that's worth more than $150 million.

Director: Gary Ross

Cast: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Awkwafina, Rihanna, Helena Bonham Carter

Release Date: June 8, 2018

Genres: Action, Comedy, Crime

Rated PG-13 for language, drug use, and some suggestive content

Runtime: 1h 50min

Review:

Ocean’s 8, the female centeric continuation of the Ocean franchise, is an enjoyable but safe reboot.  Gary Ross tries his best to capture that cool vibe and spirit of the original film.  He delivers a glossy fizzy film that that’s about as lightweight as they come.  Sandra Bullock leads the film ably even if her Debbie Ocean is a far call from Clooney’s Danny Ocean.  Bullock performance is fine but the film undersells its lead without much characterization, leaving her a bit of a cipher throughout.  Cate Blanchett, ever the chameleon, is lots of fun as Bullock’s partner in crime.  Blanchett and Bullock have some solid chemistry together and their plenty of fun when they’re plotting or interacting.  The remaining members of the crew are all good fun in varying degrees of effectiveness.  Anne Hathaway leaves the biggest impression with her self parody performance that people will either love or hate.  Ocean’s 8 is never boring or uninteresting but it’s all so inconsequential that you’ll probably never think about it again.

B-

Cindy Prascik's Review of Solo: A Star Wars Story

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for a trip back in time with Han Solo.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or that our leading man hasn't spoiled in an interview. (Non plot-related!)

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a cheeky kid from the wrong side of the universal tracks sets out for something better.

 

Dear reader(s), I must warn you that Memorial Day puts me in an odd frame of mind, so my experience with Solo: A Star Wars story will have been colored by that, as, undoubtedly, will this review. Please excuse if it's all a bit scattered.

 

I liked this movie. I didn't love it--I might have loved it on a different day--but I did like it a great deal. It's a perfectly fun outing that would be accepted as such if only it weren't part of this legendary franchise. BUT...it's a Star Wars movie, so the Internet has to beat the hell out of it because that's what the Internet does. Don't listen to the Internet, kids. 

 

Alden Ehrenreich is terrific, and the world owes him an apology for the bashing he took upon being cast in this iconic role. I know it can be hard for die-hard fans to accept a new face on a favorite character, but all timeless characters ultimately are likely to be portrayed by someone who isn't the actor we grew up with, and we're just going to have to get over it. Ehrenreich has charisma to spare, and fills Harrison Ford's boots quite admirably. For whatever it's worth, I also think he has just the right status to take on a role like this; he's done enough that people will have an idea what he can do (if they've been paying attention), but he isn't saddled with a past role or career that would have brought too much baggage with it. Emilia Clarke further cements her genre legacy, joining yet another franchise that guarantees her a convention living even if she never scores another acting role. As expected, though, the real scene-stealer is Donald Glover as a young Lando Calrissian. Glover is deservedly the current "it" performer across pretty much all media, and I think I speak for the majority when I say, if someone wants to make a Lando Calrissian movie with Glover, we are down with that.

 

A handful of negatives: Solo is too long by a good 20-30 minutes, most of which easily could have been rectified by trimming the inter-galactic chase scenes. It's like Fast & Furious in space, and, while those scenes are consequential, they seldom need to be as long as they are in ANY movie, out in space or here on good ol' planet Earth. The picture comes out of the gate running, but the first act still seems painfully dull. It also tries too hard to present any Han Solo-related incident that's been referenced in any Star Wars movie, ever. New characters seem insistent on becoming memorable, but most of them are just very, very annoying. (Oh, that damnable droid!) Finally, a fair bit of Solo--maybe more than half--is so dark it's nearly impossible to see what's going on, likely a by-product of seeing a 3D production in 2D. Of course it's the ticket-buyer's choice to skip the 3D, but if a film is showing in 2D, it should be of an acceptable quality to be seen in 2D.

 

Now for the good news: As mentioned, Solo's cast is mostly terrific; it would have been very hard to go too wrong with this group. In addition to Ehrenreich, Glover, and Clarke, Solo boasts the talents of Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton, and Paul Bettany, in a wicked turn that's almost enough to make a person forgive his annoying Vision. (*Almost.*) Both sound and visual effects are nicely done, and John Powell's score is sufficiently epic for this iconic origins tale. (If I had to pick someone to pick up John Williams' baton, it would certainly be Powell.) Once Solo gets rolling, it's great fun and moves along at a good clip, and it's easy to invest in these fresh-faced youngsters who will become the characters we know and love so well. Ehrenreich revealed in an interview that he is signed for three films, and it's not difficult for me to believe that Solo could be the launching pad for something very, very good.

 

Solo: A Star Wars Story clocks in at 135 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of sci-fi action and violence."

 

If there's backlash against Solo, I wish it were directed at the cash-grabbing Disney machine, rather than at the folks who worked long and hard on this bit of fun summer escapism. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Solo gets seven and a half.

 

This Memorial Day weekend, I post in memory of my friend Chris, who was killed in Iraq in 2004, and with gratitude to those who gave all for something that meant more to them than themselves. 

 

I am in your debt.

 

Until next time...