Cindy Prascik's Review of Rebel Moon: A Child of Fire

My dear reader(s): Over the Christmas break, my plan was to catch up with some movies.

First on my holiday docket: Zack Snyder's Rebel Moon.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers, except the exact second when Charlie Hunnam turns up.

Rebels rise up against an evil space empire. (No, not *those* rebels or *that* space empire.)

Out of the gate, I want to offer a couple disclaimers: First, though I've kicked science fiction fantasy to the curb almost entirely, I like Zack Snyder and I hoped/expected to like this. Secondly, Netflix has some super algorithms, because the Rebel Moon picture on my home page is all Charlie Hunnam, though he doesn't appear until 51:05 and enjoys only sporadic screen time after. Well played, Netflix. Well played.

While almost any story bears traces of tales that came before it, Rebel Moon is nothing but derivative, Star Wars with a Mad-Maxey vibe...if Star Wars and Mad Max somehow managed to become the most boring movies ever made. I fell asleep three times in the first hour and had to keep rolling it back so I didn't "miss" anything.

The acting seems almost universally awful, but the dialogue is so badly written it's difficult to pin blame. The cast is full of well-known faces, most of whom are generally at least decent, so it's possible Meryl Streep couldn't have done anything with this material. Charlie's is a cheeky role that's particularly well suited to him, so he fares better than most. Nice visuals are marred by the odd bad green screen moment. Fight sequences are dull, awkward, and painfully fake-looking. The story, so often (better) told before, doesn't begin to earn its two-hours-plus runtime. A disappointment all 'round.

Rebel Moon clocks in at 133 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of strong violence, sexual assault, bloody images, language, sexual material, and partial nudity."

The fact that Rebel Moon, part two, is coming next year feels more like a threat than a promise. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Rebel Moon gets three.

Rebel Moon is now streaming on Netflix.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: REBEL MOON PART ONE: A CHILD OF FIRE

 

When a colony on the edge of the galaxy finds itself threatened by the armies of the tyrannical Regent Balisarius, they dispatch a young woman with a mysterious past to seek out warriors from neighbouring planets to help them take a stand.

Director: Zack Snyder

Cast: Sofia Boutella, Djimon Hounsou, Ed Skrein, Michiel Huisman, Doona Bae, Ray Fisher, Charlie Hunnam, Anthony Hopkins

Release Date: December 15, 2023

Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

Rated PG-13 for sequences of strong violence, sexual assault, bloody images, language, sexual material and partial nudity.

Runtime: 2h 13m

Zack Snyder's Rebel Moon Part One: A Child of Fire is a lifeless space epic that never truly finds its footing as it mines bits and pieces of Star Wars by way of Seven Samurai while bringing nothing new to the table.  All of Snyder's visual bravado and his unrelenting love of slow motion is still here but it all feels perfunctory and overdone paired with a rather listless, all too familiar story.  Characterization is at minimal as the story journey's to collection a ragtag crew of rebels whom we have little to no emotional connection to as we move from introductory set piece to another.  It would be easier to ignore some of these story issues if the action was fun or interesting.  There's a surprisingly blandness to the action which is something you wouldn't expect from Snyder with Bae Doona's Nemesis battle with a spider woman being the only one that registers as any sort of tangible fun.  Likewise the performances are all rather lifeless with Sofia Boutella's lead character barely registering as determined and driven much less inspiring.  Anthony Hopkins voicework for the robot introduced in the first act and offers a small tinge of life but he quickly disappears from the story only to reappear at the very without another line of dialogue.   It doesn't help matters that the entire film serves as nothing more than set up for the second part which would be fine if there were some time invested in character development and world building.  Sadly, this first entry feels more like a Sucker Punch level misfire from Snyder which feels like a major step back for him as a storyteller.  
 

D

Cindy Prascik's Holiday Wrap-up Part II: The Christmas Ball, A Boy Called Christmas & Father Christmas is Back

My dear reader(s), as promised, in part two of my holiday viewing wrapup, we will take a look at some seasonal offerings. Expectations for this sort of movie aren't necessarily the same as other movies, so I shall make every effort to distinguish between seasonal frivolity and avoidable stupidity.

Since Christmas films are so often cut from the same cloth, I'm not sure it's possible to spoil much here, but I'll do my best to keep it generic.

First on my holiday agenda: The Christmas Ball.

Following a disappointing development on the job front, a Boston ballerina agrees to spend Christmas in England with her favorite aunt.

Anyone who knows me in real life, and probably anyone who's ever read a word I've written here, will know I avoid romance like the plague. However, when a holiday romance features one, two, three, FOUR people who have been on Midsomer Murders, including the reigning DS, well, my hand has been forced.

The Christmas Ball is a by-the-numbers holiday romance, complete with independent woman not looking for love, handsome stranger ripe for the picking, and even a perfectly festive castle. The movie ticks along entirely as expected, silly but inoffensive, but a couple things got under my skin: First, the main character has to be early- to mid-40s if she's a day. While I'm sure somewhere there's a ballerina still dancing lead at that age, I'd guess it's not the norm. She also parks on the couch with a handy tin of shortbread cookies, which also seems unrealistic for a professional dancer. As innocently dumb as the rest is, that kind of lazy stupidity is frustrating.  Still, Nick Hendrix is so handsome and charming it's easy to forgive the rest, it's always lovely to see Caroline Langrishe and Richard Lintern, and the castle setting is stunning.

The Christmas Ball runs a quick 90 minutes and is rated PG13.

The Christmas Ball is a benign bit of holiday cheer that might cost you a few brain cells, but the appealing cast makes it watchable. Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Christmas Ball gets four.

The Christmas Ball premiered Christmas Eve on Lifetime, and is now available via Lifetime On Demand.

Next up: A Boy Called Christmas.

A Father Christmas origins story.

A Boy Called Christmas boasts a delightful cast, including youngster Henry Lawfull (fantastic as the titular boy), Joel Fry, Michiel Huisman, Jim Broadbent, Stephen Merchant, Toby Jones, Sally Hawkins, and the always wonderful Maggie Smith. Sets, costumes, and music are simply magical, and well suited to a tale that, like the holiday itself, is special even when it's not precisely joyful. The picture is set (and partially filmed) in stunning Finnish Lapland, and there's even a little twist that I didn't see coming. A social/political message is sometimes inelegantly delivered, but A Boy Called Christmas is so charming you probably won't mind.

A Boy Called Christmas clocks in at 106 minutes and is rated PG for "peril, action, and thematic elements."

A Boy Called Christmas is a sweet holiday tale that's suitable for the whole family. Of a possible nine Weasleys, a Boy Called Christmas gets eight.

A Boy Called Christmas is now streaming on Netflix.

My final (I think) bit of holiday fare for this season was Father Christmas is Back.

Four warring sisters reluctantly reunite for Christmas, and find the holiday full of surprises.

I was drawn to Father Christmas is Back by yet another cast full of my British mystery favorites. I'll not soon forgive them for it.

Father Christmas is Back is predictable, but not in the harmless way of The Christmas Ball. It's brash and offensive and lacks even the tiniest bit of genuine holiday cheer. The four sisters range from irritating to downright grotesque, and most of the characters in their orbit are equally awful. Kris Marshall, Caroline Quentin, and Ray Fearon provide some tolerable respite, but they are very much on the periphery. The story holds no surprises, and its familiar turns are annoying rather than comfortable. I struggle to imagine how Kelsey Grammer's agent talked him into this one, truly. One character's obsession with the Beatles at least gave me something to look forward to, since the Fab Four's names came up a number of times, but honestly the only thing I really got out of this one was annoyance with myself for wasting the time. 

Father Christmas is Back runs 105 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sexually suggestive material and some language."

Father Christmas is Back will make you wish you'd stayed away. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Father Christmas is Back gets two.

Father Christmas is Back is now streaming on Netflix.

My dear reader(s), I hope you all have found peace and joy in these December holidays, and that 2022 will be a happier and calmer year for us all.

Until next time...