Cindy Prascik's Review of Rebel Moon: A Child of Fire

My dear reader(s): Over the Christmas break, my plan was to catch up with some movies.

First on my holiday docket: Zack Snyder's Rebel Moon.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers, except the exact second when Charlie Hunnam turns up.

Rebels rise up against an evil space empire. (No, not *those* rebels or *that* space empire.)

Out of the gate, I want to offer a couple disclaimers: First, though I've kicked science fiction fantasy to the curb almost entirely, I like Zack Snyder and I hoped/expected to like this. Secondly, Netflix has some super algorithms, because the Rebel Moon picture on my home page is all Charlie Hunnam, though he doesn't appear until 51:05 and enjoys only sporadic screen time after. Well played, Netflix. Well played.

While almost any story bears traces of tales that came before it, Rebel Moon is nothing but derivative, Star Wars with a Mad-Maxey vibe...if Star Wars and Mad Max somehow managed to become the most boring movies ever made. I fell asleep three times in the first hour and had to keep rolling it back so I didn't "miss" anything.

The acting seems almost universally awful, but the dialogue is so badly written it's difficult to pin blame. The cast is full of well-known faces, most of whom are generally at least decent, so it's possible Meryl Streep couldn't have done anything with this material. Charlie's is a cheeky role that's particularly well suited to him, so he fares better than most. Nice visuals are marred by the odd bad green screen moment. Fight sequences are dull, awkward, and painfully fake-looking. The story, so often (better) told before, doesn't begin to earn its two-hours-plus runtime. A disappointment all 'round.

Rebel Moon clocks in at 133 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of strong violence, sexual assault, bloody images, language, sexual material, and partial nudity."

The fact that Rebel Moon, part two, is coming next year feels more like a threat than a promise. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Rebel Moon gets three.

Rebel Moon is now streaming on Netflix.

Until next time...