MOVIE REVIEW: CYRANO

 

Cyrano de Bergerac dazzles everyone with his ferocious wordplay and brilliant swordplay. However, he's convinced his appearance renders him unworthy of the affections of the luminous Roxanne, a devoted friend who's in love with someone else.

Director: Joe Wright

Cast: Peter Dinklage, Haley Bennett, Kelvin Harrison Jr. Ben Mendelsohn, Bashir Salahuddin, Monica Dolan

Release Date: February 25, 2022

Genre: Drama, Musical, Romance

Rated PG-13 for some strong violence, thematic and suggestive material, and brief language

Runtime: 2h 4m

Review:

Joe Wright's adaptation of the stage musical of the same name is lavish, heartfelt with an undercurrent of melancholy running throughout its runtime. Wright stages some wonderfully choregraphed sequences paired with songs and lyrics by The National.  The song's lyrics lean more wistful than overtly romantic utilizing a variety of approaches from  spoken word to more operatic.  The majority of the songs aren't instantly memorable but Someone to Say and Wherever I Fall do leave a lasting impression.  Peter Dinklage and Haley Bennett reprise their roles from the stage play, bringing a familiarity and confidence to their roles.  The pair shares a tangible sense of chemistry that makes their relationship feel real and grounded.  Dinklage carries the film with relative ease by delivering a performance that's self assured, honest and ultimately heartbreaking.  He's the most interesting performer onscreen for the majority of the film even if his singing voice isn't the best.  Haley Bennett's performance is hindered by an underwritten role but her singing voice is lovely enough to overlook some of the script's deficiencies.   Kelvin Harrison Jr suffers a similar fate with his character's songs being better than his story arch.  Issues aside Cyrano is a solid movie musical take on this classic story elevated by a central performance from Peter Dinklage.

B+

MOVIE REVIEW: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

 

Influencers looking to breathe new life into a Texas ghost town encounter Leatherface, the legendary killer who wears a mask of human skin.

Director: David Blue Garcia 

Cast: Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Mark Burnham, Jacob Latimore, Moe Dunford, Olwen Fouéré, Alice Krige, Jessica Allain, Nell Hudson

Release Date: February 18, 2022 

Genre: Crime, Horror, Thriller

Rated R for strong bloody horror violence and gore, and language

Runtime: 1h 21m

Review:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the newest entry in the long running franchise, takes the recent Halloween route ignoring all the sequels after the original.  However instead of doing anything interesting with the conceit David Blue Garcia’s film is total misfire on multiple levels.  Garcia’s disposable and forgettable film comes off as rushed and a haphazard cash in on the franchise name.  The nonsensical script from Fede Álvarez and Rodo Sayagues does nothing but prop up dislikable characters who are nothing more than meat for the grinder.  The main hook here is supposed to be its connection to the original film but for some reason it decides to make Sally, the lone survivor from the original, nothing more than an afterthought and giving her an utterly unsatisfying resolution.  The plot’s only purpose is to serve up mindless blood and gore while ignoring any semblance of a coherent, logical story that ties this entry to the original film.  This iteration Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a disappointing revival which will be forgotten as soon as its finished. 

F

MOVIE REVIEW: UNCHARTED

Nathan Drake and his wisecracking partner Victor "Sully" Sullivan embark on a dangerous quest to find the greatest treasure never found while also tracking clues that may lead to Nate's long-lost brother.

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Cast: Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg,  Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle,  Antonio Banderas

Release Date: February 18, 2022 

Genre: Action, Adventure

Rated PG-13 for violence/action and language

Runtime: 1h 56m

Review:

The Uncharted video game franchise is known for it's cinematic style and plotting so its rather baffling to see the live action take hit the big screen in such a bland vehicle.  I will say that I only have a passing familiarity with the game series but it does seem like a perfect franchise to make the jump to the big screen successfully.  Sadly, the film that ends up on screen feels like a copy of a copy as it delivers retreads of better action adventure films but never delivering anything new or exciting.  Ruben Fleisher's film feels like it's been through multiple focus groups resulting in the most generic action and characters.  The script doesn't help much since it's content with following the path of least resistance leaving very little mystery since you can see every turn coming.  Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg do the best they can with the material but neither can be accused of elevating any of it.  Their central relationship never really works the way it should even though some of the interactions are fun.  Sophia Ali and Tati Gabrielle do more with limited screen time but both of their characters are woefully underdeveloped.  Antonio Banderas is criminally underused as the film's main villain even though he seems game to ham it up.  Uncharted isn't the worst video game adaptation out there but it could have been much better and more memorable.

C

Cindy Prascik's Review of Last Looks

 

My dear reader(s), last weekend I was blessed with one of my favorite film happenings: a new Charlie Hunnam picture. On the docket, Last Looks...not just any Charlie Hunnam picture, but one where he's the STAR.

Spoiler level here will be mild, presumably nothing you wouldn't know from a trailer if you saw one, which I didn't.

An ex-LAPD detective is called to investigate when a drunken actor is accused of murdering his wife.

Last Looks is a solid mystery that still feels like it might have gone straight to video even pre-Covid. While Charlie earns top billing, the biggest name in the cast is definitely Mel Gibson. Putting aside the baggage that now carries, Gibson is teriffic and manages to garner sympathy for a character who is pretty unsympathetic. Practice makes perfect, I guess. For Hunnam, this is a great role and he's great in it. A Charlie Connoisseur, I've endured some lemons on his behalf, so this was a very happy surprise. The rest of the cast is as good as it needs to be, if unspectacular. The story takes some interesting turns, and maintains a dry sense of humor that keeps it from being too grim. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if a streaming service decided to spin this off into a series; both cast and characters seem ideally suited.

Last Looks clocks in at 110 minutes and is rated R for pervasive language.

Last Looks spins an enjoyable yarn, with some laughs thrown in for good measure. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Last Looks gets seven.

Last Looks is now available to rent or buy on Amazon or your cable/dish provider.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: MARRY ME

 

Pop superstar Kat Valdez is about to get married before an audience of her loyal fans. However, seconds before the ceremony, she learns about her fiance's cheating ways and has a meltdown on stage. In a moment of inspired insanity, Kat locks eyes with a total stranger in the crowd and marries him on the spot. As forces conspire to separate the unlikely newlyweds, they must soon decide if two people from such different worlds can find true love together.

Director: Kat Coiro

Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, John Bradley, Sarah Silverman, Chloe Coleman

Release Date: February 11, 2022 

Genre: Comedy, Music, Romance

Rated PG-13 for some language and suggestive material

Runtime: 1h 52m

Review:

Marry Me is a preposterous rom-com that takes the general idea of Notting Hill and updates it with a modern spin.  Kat Coiro's film doesn't break any new ground but it's a breezy surprisingly likeable rom-com.  There's honestly no good reason for this film to be as watchable as it is almost in spite of itself.  Jennifer Lopez and Owen Wilson do most of the heavy lifting with both turning in charming and likable turns as the two leads.  There is a bit of real life synergy with some elements of the script veering close to some of Lopez's past relationships which makes her performance feel more grounded and authentic.  Wilson is his usual likable self with him and Lopez having a good rapport together even if they don't quite sizzle with romantic chemistry.  The film suffers from structural issues which are ingrained into the genre with the situations getting more and more ridiculous as the film heads into it's finale.  Marry Me doesn't change the genre but it doesn't really try to instead it just has fun with it's ludicrous conceit and runs with it.  

B-

MOVIE REVIEW: DEATH ON THE NILE

 

Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot's Egyptian vacation aboard a glamorous river steamer turns into a terrifying search for a murderer when a picture-perfect couple's idyllic honeymoon is tragically cut short.

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Cast:  Kenneth Branagh, Tom Bateman, Annette Bening, Russell Brand, Ali Fazal, Dawn French, Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Rose Leslie, Emma Mackey, Sophie Okonedo, Jennifer Saunders, Letitia Wright

Release Date: February 11, 2022 

Genre: Crime, Drama, Mystery

Rated PG-13 for violence, some bloody images, and sexual material

Runtime: 2h 7m

Review:

Death on the Nile is another lavish follow up to Murder on the Orient Express stacked with stars and style.  Kenneth Branagh is again pulling double duty in front and behind the camera with his love of the material shining thru each moment.  Branagh for his part adds a bit of sensitivity and heart to his turn as Poirot this go around.  The cast is each given their moment to shine with Annette Bening, Sophie Okonedo and Emma Mackey leaving the biggest impression.  The film's pacing is meticulous and measured as we meet all the potential suspects but it falters as the film hits the third act and the bodies continue to pile up with Poirot failing to live up to his legendary detective status.  Death on the Nile is the type of film that works well with in parts but is ultimately an uneven experience especially considering the collected star power behind and in front of the camera.

B

MOVIE REVIEW: JACKASS FOREVER

 

Celebrate the joy of a perfectly executed shot to the groin as Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O and the rest of the gang return for another round of hilarious, wildly absurd and often dangerous displays of stunts and comedy.

Director: Jeff Tremaine

Cast:  Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Dave England, Wee Man, Danger Ehren, Preston Lacy

Release Date: February 4, 2022 

Genre: Documentary, Action, Comedy

Rated R for strong crude material and dangerous stunts, graphic nudity and language throughout

Runtime: 1h 36m

Review:

If you buy a ticket to a Jackass movie you should have a good idea about what you are walking into.  Jackass Forever comes ten years after the last installment and the cast members all look older even though they attack all their stunts with adolescent zeal that's insane and impressive.  The stunts are well timed with very few of them overstaying their welcome.  If you enjoy this series you'll find plenty to like here with some sequences leaving a gut busting impression.  There is nary a semblance of plot or cohesive narrative which plays in perfectly with it's low fi origins.  If there is a minor drawback it's that the stronger and funnier skits come earlier in the film top loading the laughs.  It's not a huge issue since the film moves a brisk pace with little to no lags in the hijinks.  

B

MOVIE REVIEW: MOONFALL

 

The world stands on the brink of annihilation when a mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit and sends it hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. With only weeks before impact, NASA executive Jocinda "Jo" Fowler teams up with a man from her past and a conspiracy theorist for an impossible mission into space to save humanity.

Director: Roland Emmerich

Cast: Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, John Bradley, Michael Peña, Charlie Plummer, Kelly Yu, Donald Sutherland

Release Date: 2h 10m

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

Rated PG-13 for violence, disaster action, strong language, and some drug use

Runtime: 2h 10m

Review:

Roland Emmerich's latest sci-fi disaster film is a campy busy mess of a film that never embraces it's overall absurdity and just have fun with it.  Emmerich's film feels more like a relic from the early 2000s with it's tired redemption arches and shoehorned product placement. Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson and John Bradley do the majority of the heavy lifting with the main story thread.  Patrick Wilson does the best he can with the material but at least he doesn't phone it in like Halle Berry who looks like she's just a collecting a paycheck here.  John Bradley is likeable as the conspiracy nerd and he seems to be the only one who's having a good time.  A secondary story thread drags the entire film down with a pointless earthbound subplot dealing with the leads kids and some overly persistent thieves.  That subplot is as ludicrous as it is boring and could probably have been excised from the film altogether and streamlined the story.  A third act reveal is a goofy fun but thematically interesting even if the movie doesn't explore it in any sort of depth.  Moonfall is the type of film that will run on cable endlessly which will make for perfect background noise.  

C-