MOVIE REVIEW: TERMINATOR GENISYS

The year is 2029. John Connor, leader of the resistance continues the war against the machines. At the L.A. offensive, John's fears of the unknown future begin to emerge when he learns that SkyNet will attack him from both fronts: past and future.

Director: Alan Taylor

Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Clarke, Jai Courtney, Dayo Okeniyi, Lee Byung-hun

Release Date: Jul 01, 2015 RealD 3D

Rated: PG-13 Gunplay Throughout, Brief Strong Language, Intense Sci-Fi Violence and Partial 

Nudity 

Runtime: 2 hr. 6 min. Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

Proposed Preamble that might make Terminator Genisys more palpable:

Forget everything you know.  Sort of kind of I mean.  The first 2 movies were really good right but since most of you in the audience are millennials you all probably thought they were ok but looked old.  So we’ve just redone some of those sequences but like cooler and with update FX.  Back on point, forget but remember what happened in those first two movies because you kind of need to know but don’t need to know it.  Either way we’ll explain it.  It’d really help if you watched a lot of Star Trek because there are timelines all over the place and yeah there might be plot holes all over the place and if you think too hard it’ll make zero sense, so don’t.  It’s all good we have a great director who knows how to film big action sequences and they’ll be fun, we promise!  Oh and did we mention that Arnold freaking Schwarzenegger is back, giggle, and we totally explain why it’s ok that’s he’s old.  He’s hilarious!  We couldn’t explain Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn being old so we replaced them with the mother of freaking dragons!  OMG she’s sooooo hot, probably not believably tough, but look at her china doll features!  And come on look Jai Courtney, he’s like a warm plate of vanilla ice cream, it’s not great but it ain’t bad either!  I almost forgot about Jason Clarke, he’s like super important, but I think we finally nailed a grown up version of Edward Furlong!  We knew you couldn’t wait for a pretty good twist, so we just told everybody because, come on who hates waiting!  So thanks for giving us a shot on your July 4^th weekend, its hot outside and who wants to see stupid fireworks, we’ve got our own and I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy our movies a lot more than you thought you would!  Enjoy!

P.S. We threw in JK Simmons because he like won and Oscar and insures my house!  Probably should have used him more because he’s hilarious!

C+

MOVIE REVIEW: TED 2

Ted (voice of Seth MacFarlane) ties the knot with Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), and recruits his best friend John (Mark Wahlberg) as a sperm donor in order to start a family in this sequel to the comedy hit about a teddy bear come to life. Later, when the Commonwealth of Massachusetts demands that Ted appear before a judge to prove he's a real person, the frisky bear and his pal vow to fight for their civil rights. Morgan Freeman and Amanda Seyfried co-star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Jessica Barth, Morgan Freeman.

Release Date: Jun 26, 2015

Rated: R for crude and Sexual Content, Pervasive Language, and Some Drug Use

Runtime: 1 hr. 55 min.

Genres: Comedy

Review:

Ted 2 is a perfect example of diminishing returns on comedy sequels.  That’s not to say that it’s not funny, it’s laugh out loud in parts, but it’s just not nearly as consistent as the original.  Seth MacFarlane seems to sense that the novelty of a hard drinking, cussing teddy bear might be wearing thin so he tries to expound on the idea with the civil rights angle.  I appreciate the attempt but it doesn’t work since the character is basically a living cartoon.  As a result, there are lots of dead spots trying to flesh out the concept leaving the comedy on the side for a good portion of the ride.  It’s a shame because if he stuck to what worked in the first film, it might have made for a funnier overall film.  As is, Ted 2 is an overlong comedy sequel that’s quickly forgettable.

C

Cindy Prascik's Review of Red Army

Dearest Blog: Since this weekend's cinema options ranged from "meh" to "no way," I took the opportunity to jump on a little gem that passed by my cinema altogether: Red Army.

Not sure if it's possible to spoil a documentary, so I'll make no claims on the spoiler front.
Red Army documents the glory years of the Soviet hockey juggernaut of the late 1970s to late 1980s, as experienced by its players.

As is the case with most documentaries, your interest in the subject matter will, to some degree, determine your enjoyment of the finished product. A lifelong hockey lover, I'm almost too sentimental to write about Red Army, but I figure I owe it to one of the best movies I've seen in awhile to try.

Red Army focuses primarily on stellar defenseman Slava Fetisov. While Fetisov is undoubtedly one of the greatest players ever, he's a churlish interview. He's smug about the good, sulky about the bad, contentious when asked anything that strikes him wrong, and repeatedly cuts off the interviewer to take telephone calls. Fetisov's first Olympic appearance was in 1980, and, despite his many, many accomplishments since, that shocking loss to the USA (which went on to win gold) clearly still stings. For me as an American, it's odd to see our Miracle on Ice reduced to an unpleasant footnote!

In stark contrast to Fetisov's sullen stroll down memory lane, Canadian legend Scotty Bowman seems almost amused when recounting how poorly the NHL's best stacked up against those Soviet behemoths in exhibition contests.

Always sport runs parallel to politics, and the film delves into the players' brutal living and training regimen in the USSR, where their success was considered an important vindication of the Soviet system. Aside from 1980, Fetisov also gets emotional about clashes with former teammate and best friend Alexei Kasatonov (a relationship that eventually was mended) and coach Viktor Tikhonov (erm...not so much). It may be difficult for today's fans to imagine the National Hockey League without its Ovechkins and its Malkins, but Fetisov's contemporaries had a rough go breaking into the League, and even Ladlena Fetisov tells of being ostracized by her fellow NHL wives. These days Fetisov--the first Soviet player to earn an NHL contract whose proceeds he wasn't required to share with his government--has returned to Russia and seems almost wistful about the system he was instrumental in dismantling.

Red Army runs a quick 76 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic material and language."
Red Army is an outstanding documentary that will certainly be a sentimental favorite for those of us who remember, and that can't help but make new fans of those who don't.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Red Army gets eight and a half.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: INSIDE OUT

Emotions run wild in the mind of a little girl who is uprooted from her peaceful life in the Midwest and forced to move to San Francisco in this Pixar adventure from director Pete Docter (Up, Monsters Inc.). Young Riley was perfectly content with her life when her father landed a new job in San Francisco, and the family moved across the country. Now, as Riley prepares to navigate a new city and attend a new school, her emotional headquarters becomes a hot bed of activity. As Joy (voice of Amy Poehler) attempts to keep Riley feeling happy and positive about the move, other emotions like Fear (voice of Bill Hader), Anger (voice of Lewis Black), Disgust (voice of Mindy Kaling) and Sadness (Phyllis Smith) make the transition a bit more complicated. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Pete Docter 

Cast: Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith, Bill Hader, Lewis Black

Release Date: Jun 19, 2015 RealD 3D

Rated PG Mild Thematic Elements and Some Action

Runtime: 1 hr. 35 min. Genres: Animated, Family

Review:

Inside Out is a great Pixar film that’s thematically dense and impressive on multiple counts.  It works wonderfully as a kid’s film but I can’t help but think that small kids who see this now will view it differently as they grow older.  That’s what makes this film so special.  There’s something universally relatable about the story being told.  Peter Docter directs his film with a breezy sort of feel while keeping his audiences thoroughly engaged in all the characters.  The animation designs are wonderfully realized with a sort of retro feel to them.  The voice cast is excellent all around with Amy Poehler and Phyllis Smith carrying the majority of the weight.  Poehler, whose performance is akin to a Leslie Knope squared, and Smith make for a great pairing with each being a perfect counter balance to each other.  Richard Kind’s Bing Bong, Riley’s imaginary friend, shows up about half way through the film seemingly for comic relief but the character leaves a massive emotional impression.  Inside Out is that good of a film and destined to become a classic.

A

MOVIE REVIEW: JURASSIC WORLD

Steven Spielberg returns to executive produce the long-awaited next installment of his groundbreaking Jurassic Park series, Jurassic World. Colin Trevorrow directs the epic action-adventure from a screenplay he wrote with Derek Connolly. Frank Marshall and Patrick Crowley join the team as producers.Jurassic World will be released in 3D by Universal Pictures on June 12, 2015.

Director: Colin Trevorrow 

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ty Simpkins, Omar Sy.

Release Date: Jun 12, 2015

Rated PG-13 Intense Sci-Fi Violence and Peril 

Runtime: 2 hr. 4 min. 

Genres: Action/Adventure, Family, Sci-Fi/Fantasy 

Review:

Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and um, screaming. - Dr. Ian Malcolm The Lost World: Jurassic Park

That quote from the first sequel to Jurassic Park kept running through my mind as I was watching the 4^th entry into the franchise.  Colin Trevorrow’s entry is an impressive and enjoyable revamp of the original with plenty of call backs to keep most fans content. There’s plenty of spectacle to keep audiences entertained and its fun enough that you can gloss over some of the more glaring script issues.  The script issues are fairly obvious with broadly written characters and gender stereotypes that seem like they were written from another decade.  Most films would suffer terribly from these flaws but somehow Trevorrow keeps it all light and fun enough to keep things enjoyable.  It helps to have Chris Pratt as your leading man.  Pratt’s general likeability carries a large portion of the film even making Bryce Dallas Howard’s terribly written character bearable.  Howard has become one of my favorites as of late but even she can’t do much with the hackneyed character she saddled with.  The most impressive part of the character is her unbreakable high heels.  Thankfully, the dinosaur action is excellent and thoroughly enjoyable. We get a steady stream of large set pieces that builds to a rousing third act finale that’s sure to make fans giddy.

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of Jurassic World

Dearest Blog, yesterday it was off to see Jurassic World with everyone else in the known universe.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

The money-grubbing folks who run a dinosaur-themed attraction decide a genetically-engineered new species would be good for business. What could possibly go wrong?

Dear reader(s), I gather many of you are just a smidge unhappy with this latest Jurassic installment. I'm fairly giving points to the "too many remakes/reboots/sequels/prequels" club, but, otherwise, I found a lot to like.

Obviously, first we have DINOSAURS. They are big, they are scary, and--even in 2D--some of them feel a little close for comfort. I'm hearing complaints about "too much CGI" (people do realize there weren't any actual dinosaurs available, right?) and poor CGI, but it looked pretty solid to me. Jurassic World boasts some lovely scenery, filmed in glorious, sweeping shots, a true pleasure to watch from the very first frame. There's plenty of action, from nail-biting chase scenes to epic dino-battles, and, if the humor is predictable, it's also pretty funny.

The characters are formulaic and one-dimensional, but most (*most*) of them are enjoyable anyway. Chris Pratt is especially fun in the lead, as likable and easy to root for as ever. Unfortunately, his female counterpart, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, is one of the worst characters in recent memory, and her teary-eyed routine grows old very quickly.

The movie runs just a tad long, and a few of the dinosaurs look weirdly like Jar Jar Binks, but overall I have only petty quibbles.

Jurassic World runs 124 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of science-fiction violence and peril."

It may not measure up to that Jurassic fave from your childhood, but Jurassic World is a lot of fun in its own right.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Jurassic World gets seven.

Until next time...

Mmm...humans...