MOVIE REVIEW: EUROPA REPORT

Director Sebastian Cordero (Rage, Pescador) follows a team of intrepid space explorers to one of Jupiter's moons on a mission to investigate evidence of a subterranean ocean that could contain single-celled life in this ambitious sci-fi thriller produced in collaboration with NASA. Determined to explore the possibility that the oceans of Europa could harbor primitive life, a privately funded firm called Europa Ventures assembles six of planet Earth's best astronauts, and sends them deeper into the stars than any human has ever traveled. Sharlto Copley, Michael Nyqvist, and Christian Camargo star. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Sebastian Cordero

Cast: Sharlto Copley, Michael Nyqvist, Christian Camargo, Embeth Davidtz, Dan Fogler

Release Date: Aug 02, 2013

Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action and peril

Runtime: 1 hr. 30 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Documentary, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

The trailer for Europa Report sold it as a straight up found footage sci-fi / horror film, something akin to the disappointing Apollo 18. The trailer really doesn’t do the film justice. Director Sebastian Cordero delivers an elegant looking, if emotionally detached sci-fi film. Cordero’s direction and handling of the story is all grounded firmly in reality. All the action progresses in a believable manner with the science being discussed ringing true. Its documentary feel adds to the authenticity of the whole thing but we never really connect with the characters. It’s a shame because there’s a solid cast assembled with Sharlto Copley and Michael Nyqvist being the most recognizable. Those expecting Copley to be front and center will be left disappointed as his role is rather limited. Additionally, those expecting a plus pounding thrill ride, like the trailer hints at, will be left just as disappointed. Europa Report is slow burn throughout, feeling more akin to Danny Boyles’s underrated Sunshine (first 2/3rds at least), Kubrick’s 2001 or Andrei Tarkovsky’s Solaris. The final reveal might leave some people disappointed because it not the big moment you’d expect. Eurpoa Report is far more pensive and grounded about itself, opting for a more realistic ending.

B

Cindy Prascik’s Review of Redemption (Hummingbird) & White House Down

Dearest Blog, this week my local cinemas conspired to keep me from seeing a Jason Statham film on opening weekend. However, thanks to my heroes at Xfinity, I not only got to see the movie, but also didn't have to follow through with my threat to boycott the cinema in protest. WHEW!!

Spoiler level here will be mild.

First on the weekend's agenda, a Friday night On Demand screening of the new Statham flick Redemption, originally known as Hummingbird.

A tormented ex-special forces soldier does the mob's dirty work while seeking vengeance for a friend's murder.
Everybody knows I love Jason Statham. Jason Statham movies must be seen on opening weekend and, if my schedule permits, I'll burn a vacation day to see them opening day. Even if I don't like anything else about a movie, the fact that it has Jason Statham is good enough for me. Redemption is lucky it has Jason Statham.

Redemption tries to be more than just the average ass-kicking flick. It is a Very Serious Movie, with Very Serious Acting. Nobody in it is so good or so bad as to be worth writing home about, but, as a fan, I enjoy Statham getting to stretch his wings sometimes...and of course there's always a bit of ass-kicking to fall back on. When critiquing actors, I try to avoid taking jabs at anything other than their acting skills; however, here I must note that the leading lady, Polish actress Agata Buzek, has distractingly bad teeth. She's like an honorary member of the Pogues or something.

Redemption is a slow-moving animal, with a couple...um...I couldn't precisely call them "twists," but I'll say "aspects" that might have been intense or even shocking in the hands of more adept filmmakers. Here they are clunky, contrived, and even a little gross, and I wasn't buying any of it. This is a dark, dull, depressing film that builds to an unsatisfying conclusion.

Redemption runs 100 minutes and is rated R for "strong brutal violence, graphic nudity, and language." I've seen some very positive notices, but whatever those folks liked about it, I clearly missed.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Redemption gets four...all for Jason Statham.

Next up was a Saturday trek to the cinema to see the Olympus Has Fallen reboot, White House Down. Wait...what? It's not the same franchise??? Huh.

While on a tour of the White House with his politics-obsessed young daughter, a Capitol cop ends up having to save the President and the country from a paramilitary invasion.

I've gotten the tired joke out of the way, but, yes, this movie was released far too quickly on the heels of the year's earlier White House invasion flick, Olympus Has Fallen. Where there was nary a chuckle to be had in Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down plays it more like Die Hard, with one-liners and gags to spare.

Channing Tatum seems to be Hollywood's "it" guy of the moment and, while I don't find him particularly hot (yeah, you heard me!), I can't think of a film where I haven't enjoyed him. Here he holds up fine opposite Oscar winner Jamie Foxx, though obviously this movie's much more about action than it is about acting. Foxx is solid as the leader of the free world, and the supporting cast has plenty of familiar faces, including Maggie Gyllenhaal, Richard Jenkins, Jason Clarke, James Woods, and Matt Craven. I was excited to see two of my TV faves, Jimmi Simpson and Kevin Rankin, in pretty important roles.

The action in White House Down is huge and, at times, silly, but great fun. If the movie tends to beat you over the head with certain points (we get it, President Sawyer is a REALLY GOOD GUY!), it's not too hard to forgive because it's with honest intent, and, hey, we were rooting for him anyway. The film's biggest flaw is a runtime of almost two hours and twenty minutes, excessive times 12 for a summer popcorn flick.

White House Down clocks in at a bloated 137 minutes and is rated PG13 for "prolonged sequences of action and violence including intense gunfire and explosions, some language, and a brief sexual image" (musta been very brief...I don't even remember it!).

White House Down is definitely the more fun of the year's "let's blow up Washington" movies, and, of a possible nine Weasleys, it gets seven.

And so, dear Blog, we come again to my favorite time of year, that time when my next trip to the cinema includes something new from Johnny Depp. I am giddy with anticipation.

Until next time...




What the hell...I'll vote for him! ;-)

MOVIE REVIEW: MONSTERS UNIVERSITY

Take a trip back in time to when star Monsters, Inc. employees Mike Wazowski (voice of Billy Crystal) and James P. "Sulley" Sullivan (voice of John Goodman) were just two promising young students at Monsters University in this frightfully fun Disney/Pixar prequel. Dan Scanlon (Tracy) takes the directorial reigns for this prequel featuring additional vocal contributions by Steve Buscemi, Dave Foley, and Julia Sweeney. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Dan Scanlon

Cast: Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Helen Mirren, Peter Sohn

Release Date: Jun 21, 2013 RealD 3D

Rated G for frightening Scenes

Runtime: 1 hr. 42 min.

Genres: Animated, Family

Review:

Pixar has been in a strange funk as of late. I tend to act like Cars 2 doesn’t exist and Brave played it too safe for my taste. Since I’m still waiting for a sequel to The Incredibles, Monsters University will have to fill the spot. It’s typical of Pixar’s work, polished, well written and funny enough to keep most children and adults entertained for the better part of its runtime. What it’s not, like their last 2 entries, is special. In fact it’s surprisingly generic, borrowing the plot of Revenge of the Nerds. Hearing John Goodman and Billy Crystal back in their classic roles is good fun and there are some strong bonding moments. It’s just hard to ignore that it’s all rather lackadaisical and uninspired. It doesn’t seem to have any heart. This prequel is lacking that emotional connection the original had with Boo and Sully. Its fun seeing Mike and Sully become friends but it all feels rather perfunctory. It’s not terrible by any stretch of the imagination; it’s actually quite good but just not up to Pixar’s standards.

B-

Cindy Prascik’s Review of The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Dearest Blog, last night the Prascik women decided it would be a good idea to rent The Incredible Burt Wonderstone via Xfinity On Demand. The Prascik women's judgment skills may require adjusting.

Spoiler level here will be mild.

Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carrell) and his partner Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi)--once the biggest magic show in Vegas--see their glory fade as more cutting edge acts like Steve Gray (Jim Carrey) vie for the public's attention.

Regular reader(s) will know I seldom pay to see a comedy at the cinema. Reasons include, but are not limited to, the fact that most comedies aren't so grand I need to see them on the big screen, and that so few comedies are actually funny outside the bits that make the trailers. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone gives me no reason to reconsider my stance on seeing comedies at the cinema.

For a so-so movie, Burt Wonderstone boasts a well known and mostly well thought-of cast. I, personally, don't much care for Steve Carell. Occasionally he's funny, but mostly he just annoys me. Wonderstone falls firmly on the annoying side of things, due to the fact that his character is pretty much a total dick. Steve Buscemi does as well as possible, given the material, but I cringe at his even being a part of this, ditto the decorated Alan Arkin and James Gandolfini. Though past his prime, Jim Carrey usually makes me laugh, but this character is so awful that he's uncomfortable to watch. The stunning Olivia Wilde is a welcome addition, even in a flat role that does nothing for her or the movie.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone puts all its comedy eggs in the obnoxiousness basket. Done right, that can be great (think Jack Black in Tropic Thunder), but here it's just...well...obnoxious. The movie does have its laughs, and some of them are good ones, but I spent far less time laughing than I did feeling sorry for the actors involved, and wondering what on Earth James Gandolfini's and Alan Arkin's agents ever thought this script brought to the table for them.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone runs 100 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sexual content, dangerous stunts, a drug-related incident, and language." Trust me when I tell you, dear reader(s), it is far from incredible.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone gets three.

Until next time...


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Me after about 20 minutes of this movie...

MOVIE REVIEW: THE ABCS OF DEATH

Twenty-six horror directors collaborate on an anthology film where each filmmaker directs a segment focusing on a death based on a letter in the alphabet. Among the directors involved are A Serbian Film's Srdjan Spasojevic, The House of the Devil's Ti West, and Black Death's Christopher Smith. Drafthouse Films and Timpson Films produce. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Directors: Adrían García Bogliano, Xavier Gens, Ti West, Yudai Yamaguchi, Ernesto Diaz Espinoza, Yoshihiro Nishimura, Andrew Traucki, Adam Wingard, Simon Rumley, Anders Morgenthaler, Noboru Iguchi, Ben Wheatley, Jake West, Marcel Sarmiento, Jason Eisener, Nacho Vigalondo, Angela Bettis

Release Date: Mar 08, 2013

Unrated contains violence, horror, gore

Runtime: 2 hr. 3 min.

Genres: Horror

Review:

The ABC’s of Death is a strange but fascinating experiment in micro filmmaking. It’s terribly uneven all around but some of the shorts do shine while other repulse. Pretty much every aspect of horror and gore is covered within these 26 shorts. There are overly serious yet well made (A is for Apocalypse ; P is for Pressure) while some are slapstick (K is for Klutz, J is for Jidai-geki (Samurai Movie)). A handful I found inventive, well crafted and very clever (D is for Dogfight, C is for Cycle, S is for Speed, U is for Unearthed). Then there are a few (L is for Libido, M is for Miscarriage, Z is for Zetsumetsu, Y is for Youngbuck) that don’t just push the boundaries of good taste but jump over it all together hedging into repulsive territory. Other shorts are just batshit crazy (W is for WTF!, H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion). Needless to say this is the type of film that I can only recommend to hard core horror fans. The variety and styles on display are interesting and each will affect each viewer differently depending on your own personal taste. Unlike the VHS series, The ABC’s of Death has no over arching story line tying them together so it’s easy to take each piece on its own merits or lack there of.

C+

MOVIE REVIEW: HANSEL & GRETEL WITCH HUNTERS

Fifteen years after a horrific experience in a deceptively inviting ginger bread house, an orphan Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become famous for ridding the countryside of witches. Despite their stellar success record, the brother and sister face a unique challenge when an extremely powerful witch. The film was directed by Tommy Wirkola. Actresses Famke Janssen and Pihla Vitala co-star. ~ Tracie Cooper, Rovi

Director: Tommy Wirkola

Cast: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare, Ingrid Bolsø Berdal.

Release Date: Jan 25, 2013

Rated R for fantasy Horror Violence/Gore, Brief Sexuality/Nudity and Language

Runtime: 1 hr. 28 min.

Genres: Fantasy

Review:

If you are watching a movie called Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters then you have a good idea about what kind of film you are going to see, more so, if you are familiar with Tommy Wirkola’s previous film, the schlock fest Dead Snow. Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters has a good sense of humor about itself and never takes itself overly seriously. A generic plot, which only has a few flourishes, is pedestrian enough that you could watch this while doing other things while never missing much in terms of plot. That’s not to say it isn’t watchable, which it is, but that’s mostly because the cast seems to be having a great time. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton make a fun duo, each fully embracing the general silliness of plot and their characters. They have great chemistry together. Famke Janssen is equally fun as the main baddie. She vamps it up from the first moment she hits the screen. The interplay and overly gory and vulgar script partnered with some solid direction keep the film moving. It’s fun and rather silly but never great. The entire film looks like it was done on a cheap sound stage which becomes more and more noticeable as the film progresses. Likewise, cheap 3D showcase shots litter the film’s 2nd half. This might have been fun on the big screen in 3D but at home it’s just wasted space and time. The biggest issue is the script which is so bland that it rarely takes advantage of the performances. It all plays out the way you think it will and rarely provides enough to fully engage the audience. For what it is, it’s disposable fun which has the good grace to keep things light and short.

C+